Advice Before Things Get Worse...

[GuppyMama]

Hi, I'm struggling with it newest addition and I can use some advice before things get out of hand.

First an explanation behind the current cat family: we have two boys; one a super loving outdoor rescue named Guppy(2yrs 8mo), and the other a 5mo kitten named Comet. These two are hams and have bonded swimmingly since October. They cuddle together, bath each other, the whole nine yards. You may not believe me but Guppy is somewhat special: he's not territorial, is super chummy, and has never hissed once during our entire time together. He's always purring, so much so that our vet has to struggle to get him to stop so she can get a good listen to his heart. Comet's still young but he too hasn't been prone to hissing, doing so only once when my husband tried to retrieve a potato chip that the little rascal stole right out of his hand.
Overall I pride myself with how nice and social they are.

And now an explanation of the new addition, what's been going on, and why exactly this is very stressful; 3 days ago my husband and I prepared the bathroom for our new arrival. Her name is Ginger, she's a 7 year old fixed female, she (regrettably) has been fully declawed. Ginger was my mom's cat, who has unfortunately passed away very recently, which is why we are trying to integrate her into our family. But she is making it extremely hard on us.
She is very "deffensive"... I would call it aggressive but I don't think that's what it is 100%. When we go and visit her in the bathroom, for the most part she's all purs and wanting pets. Unlike my boys, but similar to a lot of other cats, we have to be a little bit wary of how we pet her; I know she's endured a little bit of touch trauma because my mom was mentally ill, especially near the end, and I know that my mother on more than one occasion tried to brush Ginger a little too hard (my sister lived with and took care of my mom, so anytime is happened she quickly rescued Ginger.) Petting her is not the issue though, I know how to approach skittish cats, and she is very willing to come to you for attention. The problem is she seems to be having almost bipolar levels of aggressive behavior, randomly, and seemingly at nothing. We have a gate that covers the door to the bathroom with a 2-foot radius, so the boys really can't get near the door. However she is well aware that there are other cats in the house. she's heard them meow and has obviously smelled them. When she is left alone (she's not being left alone for long, it's or only bathroom after all) We will sometimes hear her start growling, yowling, and hissing at presumably nothing since the boys will be on the other side of the house and my husband and I aren't making a sound. When we are with her, she will also do this, and in these times it is very clear that it doesn't seem to have a trigger, and that she is literally reacting to non stimuli randomly. It's very unsettling, especially since she'll immediately turn around looking for pets, purring. If the boys were constantly pawing at the door or trying to get in to see what we got in the bathroom, I would understand her defensive Behavior, but they are literally not capable of getting that close to the door and even if they could I just know that they wouldn't be acting aggressive towards her.

I know that the key is patience and slow introductions. If I wasn't concerned for another reason, then I wouldn't even be bothering with this forum. My absolute biggest issue is that I think I heard Guppy hiss at Comet this morning. I'm not sure, but he's never done that. I love how my boys behave, my biggest fear is that her overly defensive behavior right now will influence them to become more aggressive and less loving than they are now. I don't want them to learn how to act like her, and I fear that she's will not give them a fair chance. We're nowhere near introductions but she's not even curious about them, she's just on extreme and unprovoked level of defense.

Currently my husband and I are taking turns going in there to give her love and play with her throughout the day. We have a feliway multi-cat pheromone diffuser going in the bathroom. On occasion I'll try to play some soothing music for her she try to calm her down (not saying there's any science to that, but it helped calm Comet down when he was very sick as a kitten) but I don't play it all the time. I feel I've provided a very nice safe space for her, with the only issue being that the outlet in the bathroom is connected to one of the light switches so one of the lights has to be on at all times in order for it to disperse.

Asking my sister to take care of her is not an option, because I do believe the reason she's like this is partially because of my sister's cat. Her cat is now 16, but she had never been properly socialized and is very territorial. My sister also has three large dogs, and my sister's cat is passive aggressive towards them all. She's okay with dogs, she's not good with kids, and she's not good with cats and the only reason Ginger was forced to live with her is because my sister needed to take care of my mom and Ginger made my mom happy. My sister's cat is not a bad cat, but I think her poorly socialized and territorial Behavior is why Ginger is so defensive.

I feel bad for Ginger, we both lost our mom, but I'm really fearful that her bad behavior will not get better and that it will ultimately corrupt my boys sweet and social behavior.

I guess I'm just looking for a little advice, or even just well wishes, because I'm typically very good with cats but I am just feeling a little defeated at the moment.
Thanks

 

[Columbine]

Hi, and welcome to TCS

You have three beautiful cats there, and Comet and Guppy sound absolutely adorable, especially Guppy's super-sweet nature

It's so wonderful that you've taken Ginger in, and are committed to taking the time necessary for smooth introductions The world needs more people like you! I'm so sorry for your loss, too. Losing a parent is always hard

My first step would be a full vet check for Ginger. What you're describing isn't normal, and you need to find out what's going on with her. The first thing that comes to mind for me is Feline Hyperesthesia, but I have no personal experience of this. I did see an old My Cat From Hell episode where a cat had some kind of PTSD issue that caused frantic, upsetting outbursts, but again, it's not an area I have much knowledge of. It could, I guess be some kind of atypical seizure, too. I'm sorry I can't be more help. I really think a vet is your best move, so you can try to understand what's causing this behaviour. If possible, try to film one of her episodes on your phone, so the vet can see exactly what you're talking about.

In the meantime, you might find this article helpful with introduction processes etc:-
How To Successfully Introduce Cats: The Ultimate Guide
Interactive playtime can never do any harm either, and it's a great stress buster for all three kitties
Playing With Your Cat: 10 Things You Need To Know

 

[ArtNJ]

I don't think you need to worry about redirected aggression between the two best buds at this point. Once Ginger is let out of the bathroom, if the two buds are heavily stressed by a hostile cat, then redirected aggression between the two of them is definitely possible. They might be mildly stressed now at times, given Ginger's poor behavior, but it shouldn't lead to problems.

As far as Ginger goes, she is clearly highly stressed and hyper vigilant, and cats that are like that can go from getting petted to jumping off and assuming aggressive posture at some tiny noise. I agree with Columbine that going from seemingly calm getting petted to wild without any discernible stimulus at all is a bit outside the range, but keep in mind that cats hear better than we do, and she might be picking up stronger scents at random times too, depending on factors like when the heat kicks in. So while a vet check certainly couldn't hurt, I'm doubting its medical - this is just a very stressed cat. Not by you, but by the new environment and new cats.

I would try some of the stronger OTC calming products that can sometimes have better results than Feliway. Unfortunately, I am not expert in these, but we do have members that have had good experiences and hopefully one will jump in. If that fails, you can talk to your vet about medication. So you have things left to try, a sequence, and there is reason for optimism that things will improve. It could be a long road, won't lie, but I'm optimistic that you can get this to work given that you have some cat-experience.

All of that said, Ginger would pretty clearly have an easier time adjusting in a home without cats (or young children), especially if you can find another owner like you, with some cat experience. I think it is in everyone's interest to keep an eye out for a possibly more suitable home.

 

[jackie.o]

Thanks for sharing your story. It sounds like you're doing a great job integrating your new kitty. It's hard to not feel defeated, but, as you said, patience is key. My only advice is keep doing what you're doing!Sitting with her and talking softly, showing her your love- it will pay off! Know that everyone is rooting for you! Keep us updated.

 

[GuppyMama]

Thank you for the response, compliment, and condolences!

I have those articles bookmarked for reference too so I'm glad to see you suggest them.

Thank you for the advice. I'm always on board to take my pets to the vet, it's kind of funny because sometimes I feel like I take my pets to the vet too much but it's always proven to be the right thing to do. My sister is a great caretaker, and especially made sure all the animals were always up to date with their health. She took Ginger to the vet before giving her to me, so I should have mentioned that she's otherwise been a healthy cat. It's true that she's always been a little weird too, but in a 'some cats are weird' way, not the concerning way that it is now.

Right now my husband and my sister both respect my sometimes hyper concern for my pets health, but they separately asked me to give it more time (more than the three days that it has been) or at least until the end of the week before taking Ginger for a bunch of tests. I understand that dragging your pets to and from the vet can sometimes make things worse because of the stress. I've been keeping my sister up to date as well, and she really seems to think that Ginger will calm down. She's taking care of Ginger for years so she knows her better, but I like to err on the side of caution.


What do you think about waiting till the end of the week? I think there is Merit to seeing if this Behavior persists or if it is still just stress from being in the new environment, but I don't know.


I think I might have miss explained, Ginger is not the one that has trouble with kids and other cats; it's my sister's cat Mittens, who is the one who's been causing distress for Ginger. Ginger was socialized really well with her litter mates and other kittens when she was a kitten, and she loves the dogs and other people. She's usually very nice. So that's another reason why this behavior is really strange.

Ginger's part of the family, so rehoming her is really going to be a last resort. I definitely respect the suggestion and if things are still not going smoothly in a couple of weeks(time frame depending) then it will be strongly considered, but I believe I have a very loving and stable environment here that she deserves, and if it takes awhile for her to see that then so be it!

 

[GuppyMama]

Oops, I forgot to mention that that last response was responding to everyone who has responded to me. Sorry if that got confusing.
Thank you.

 

[Columbine]

It's absolutely fine to hold off on the vet visit for a little bit, especially as everything is so recent and raw for everyone I hadn't realised just how new this all is.

It would help us to actually see one of
Ginger's freak outs, so we have a clearer idea of what's happening. A picture is worth a thousand words, and it can be so hard to put into words the exact nuances of an individual kitty's behaviour. If you feel able to get and post a video of Ginger, it might well give us a better sense of it all. (And we all love kitty vidoes and pics here, in any case ).

I freely admit that I'm pretty quick to advise vet visits for behaviour issues, and my mind tends to jump to medical causes first (probably because I have several chronic health issues of my own ). I do agree with A ArtNJ that high stress levels and hypervigilance on Ginger's part are very likely causes on their own...especially given the timescale. A food based calmer would be a great idea for Ginger right now (Composure and Zylkene are the best known ones). I always suggest you run it by your vet first, but it doesn't necessitate a vet visit for the cat. As most vets stock one or other of these calmers (or other reputable ones) I simply pop into my vet to buy it

As I briefly mentioned, playtime for everyone, especially the boys (as they're so young) can only be a good thing. Adding some more Feliway in the rest of the house could help keep everybody relaxed too.

As for the boys' growling - remember they're growing up, and sometimes that brings with it rougher play, or periods of being more wilfull or possessive. One of my boys play-growls whenever he gets hold of a new or favourite toy - he sounds like a little buzzer, and it's so funny to see! I'm just saying that growling isn't always a bad thing, and as you didn't see the context (I think you said you just heard it), it' impossible to know exactly what was going on. I certainly don't think Ginger's presence will spoil their relationship with each other or you, or their sweet, loving dispositions. They sound like two extremely well adjusted kittens to me

 

[GuppyMama]

Thank you!

I understand the jump to medical. I do that all the time.

I'll be vigilant with my videos. Right now she's calm, all I've managed to get is a video of her chewing on her toes (pretty sure that's a declawed thing, that and she has very long hair in between her toes). Her freakouts have been more 'nocturnal' so we'll see how tonight goes. Fingers crossed.

I like to think the boys are pretty well adjusted, thank you!
(They share a bed, it's cute )

 

[ArtNJ]

I'm still a little confused. You have the 2 best buds. Mittens, your mom's cat, is now with you and in distress. How does your sister's cat factor in, and how do you know its your sister's cat that is triggering Mittens as opposed to your own 2 best buds?

 

[Columbine]

I'm still a little confused. You have the 2 best buds. Mittens, your mom's cat, is now with you and in distress. How does your sister's cat factor in, and how do you know its your sister's cat that is triggering Mittens as opposed to your own 2 best buds?

Mittens is the sister's OAP cat (the reason she can't take Ginger).
Ginger was their mom's cat
Guppy and Comet are OP's original cats

 

[Columbine]

Aww, I love pics of snuggle buddies G GuppyMama

 

[GuppyMama]

I apologise.
I was talking about my sister's cat in regards to why I believe Ginger(my mother's cat, the one I'm adopting) is the way she is now.
My sister was my mom's caretaker, so my mom and sister lived together. Therefore Ginger(mom's cat) and Mittens(sister's cat) lived together for a while (most of Ginger's life). Mittens was an elder, poorly socialized and territorial cat so she more or less bullied Ginger.
Now that my mom is gone there is no reason for her to have to stay in a house and continue tobe bullied buy Mittens. Mittens is staying with my sister, and Ginger is here with me now. Neither of my boys are antagonizing Ginger, but I think Ginger is still reacting very defensively out of habit, on to of been stressed, because the last cat she had long-term interaction with bullied her.

 

[GuppyMama]

Thank you simplifying, I'm terrible at simplifying, clearly. Lol