Adult Cat Doesn't Know How To Play With Other Cats

[kaphlin]

My boyfriend's cat Mara, is a love bug with people. she loves pets and shows off her belly to anyone that walks by.

Other cats, on the other hand, she normally is not very trusting of. she had been the runt of the litter and her litter mates apparently used to beat her up before my boyfriend adopted her.

We did a slow introduction to her and my cats Soraya and Link, and all seemed well. she still hissed at Link. But Soraya she seemed to really like. no hissing, no swiping, no food aggression.

We were going to wait a little longer for a full introduction until she and Link got along better...but then a few weeks later I ended up having to put him down because his kidneys had failed. I was devastated. My boyfriend took over introductions and soon Soraya and Mara could be out and about when we were home, then later when we were not.

The issues is, every once and a while, I'll hear Soraya crying out in pain. When i watch them, it -looks- like Mara is trying to play...she's just playing too ruff because she never learned as a kitten how to 'play nice' with other cats.

It's been a few months and I'm ready to bring a new kitten into our home, but I'm worried about Mara playing too ruff with the kitten as well.

Any suggestions on how I can help make it so Mara doesn't accidentally hurt Soraya or any other cat we may get during play time?

also, sorry for the novel -.-;;

 

[Timmer]

I don't really think you can take a cat in this situation and teach it to play nice. Not like little kids :-) but I would make sure that both have their claws trimmed so the points are snipped off, you know. You don't want blood drawn. I hate to say this but in my experience, cats get into a tussle now and then and someone ends up crying, and it was always just a part of life. As long as it's not constant, they will work things out. It sounds like it's already going pretty well and you are on the right track.

And I'm really sorry about your loss of Link. I lost Timmer a month ago and I know how painful and devastating it is. It really really hurts. My sympathies for your loss.

 

[kaphlin]

Thank you. It was just so sudden. I had noticed he had been losing weight, and made a vet appointment for the earliest appointment they had. The whole way to the vets I was telling him that we were going make him better.

Then the vet came back with the blood work. I was crying so hard that they offered to take my card and process everything so i didn't have to go to the lobby. I just never thought for a second that it wasn't something they could fix.

Anyway, back to Soraya and Mara -- how often would you consider constant? I feel like it's a few times a week that this is happening.

 

[Timmer]

There is a rainbow bridge section here. You might want to post something about Link in there. There are some wonderful folks on this board, and we are going through the same thing as you.

Hmm...a few times a week.... I had two girls who fought once in awhile and sometimes mom (me) had to go into the room, clap my hands and say "Girls! That's enough!" and they would look at me and settle down. I think they fought maybe 3, 4 times a year. Sometimes I'd come home and there would be clumps of fur laying around and the throw rugs would be all over. What exactly is Mara doing?

You could engage them both with you in a play session with a wand toy and hand out treats. You know to establish something pleasant between them.

I'm not a cat trainer. My Timmer and my Lupita had to be kept separate at all times because of his aggression, but he was a bengal and just everything he saw he wanted to kill. He ended up being a great and loving cat for me, but not for her. Even so, I kept those cats apart for 8 years til he passed away.

Getting a third cat in the house could either keep Mara distracted between the two cats so she would settle down or it could backfire against a poor little kitten who really cannot defend himself/herself. You might want to rethink getting a third cat. It's none of my business, I'm just saying is all, because I've had the situation turn bad but it was too late for me, because I was too in love with Timmer to part with him.

 

[kaphlin]

I'll definitely check out the rainbow bridge section, thank you for the heads up.

I normally just have to yell 'HEY!' super loud to get them to stop. And I completely agree with that concern. I can see it going both ways as well. The only reason I'm even thinking of it is because my friend adopted a pregnant cat and I know that if something were not to work out, she would keep the kitten until finding it the perfect home.

 

[Ardina]

I wouldn't worry too much - cats know how to tell each other to back off, and Soraya's crying is her way of doing so. I would wait to get a new kitten until Mara's gotten a better sense of what kind of play is okay. Eventually, she'll dial down the roughness as they work out their relationship, and then you should be fine to get a kitten. Plus, most adult cats instinctively know to be gentler with a kitten. The kitten may still squeal and cry a lot, especially when the older cat is teaching him/her a lesson after being pounced on one too many times, but that is normal.