Adopted Kitty, Just A Question

[adreamofempire]

I adopted a cat last summer. Her name is Eve. A woman I met online said she had some cats she was fostering who needed loving homes, and I was really wanting to adopt a specific one she told me about. She didn't have a name and she was found abandoned. All they did was call her "kitty" or "kitty-cat." Very creative, right? Eventually I got her registered as my emotional support animal.

The woman didn't have too much info about her, other than that she was about 1 year old. She's very beautiful and energetic, and also very skittish. She's probably been through a rough time, because she can take a very long time to warm up to people, but I'm not sure what exactly she's been through. It took her until about December until I felt she was more comfortable with me. It may be because she's still young, but she just seems frightened of any noises. If I'm shifting around on the bed trying to get comfortable, even if I'm trying not to disturb her, she'll run off. She flinches and gets ready to run when you make the slightest movement around her, and always goes for underneath the bed. She doesn't play much with cat toys and just runs around a lot. I feel like I have to move very slowly and use a soft voice around her to let her know it's okay, but even that doesn't work sometimes. She isn't very cuddly though outside of sleeping, but that may be just her personality. I'm not sure. I tried to look up a lot about cats and how they communicate, how to care for them, before owning one, like their body language, etc, so I can read her pretty well I think. I'm just wanting to know what makes her so skittish, I guess, and how I can sort of alleviate that? I want her to know that I'm a safe person and she can trust me, but it's hard to convey that to her sometimes.

Also if anyone just has any other ideas in general, I'd love to know. I want to make life for her as enjoyable as I can.

 

[JamesCalifornia]

~ Perhaps a ' kitty calming collar ' for a month or two until kitty feels more confident ? I have a couple of cats wearing one and they actually do help .
Some cats never get cuddling friendly and stay skittish. It's just their personally I suppose . ( I have a few like that )
Best wishes ...

 

[danteshuman]

Fostering cats are great. It was how I got my sweet calm confident cuddly cat Salem (who came with the name Noodle BTW a completely undignified name for a cat. Noodle?!? )

My advice is to get another cat, a kitten that is extremely well socialized. Cats learn from each other. Our semi-feral Chester learned how to cuddle, play & sit for treats by watching my other cats. So if you get a well socialized kitten that loves cuddling, your cat can learn from the kitten. A kitten (male) has a better chance of being accepted by her. Plus cats need a buddy who they can complain to, who gets it ... try as we might, we are not cats & do not speak fluent cat.

 

[1CatOverTheLine]

.
adreamofempire - not to burst your Diffidence Bubble, but from what you're written above, I'd say that you already had a very good grip on the situation - and the fact that you've already begun to key on her body language, and the way in which it relates to her current mood, suggests that everything you're doing is exactly right.

Ex-ferals - if that is, indeed, what she is - react (and over-react) quite differently than do "regular cats." Eight of my current eleven are ex-freals, and they require a great deal of patience and persistence. I've not spoken above a whisper in years, and I make an effort to move smoothly - to convey calm - as much as a clumsy old man can manage. If Parmenides of Elea was correct regarding the healing power of time, so then was Huey Lewis Virgil correct about the power of Love: it does - in time - conquer all.

Skittishness is nearly always born of mistrust - or more properly, a wholesale lack of trust - and cats, like Humans, can take rather a long time to find it in their Hearts to trust others. The commodities which you're already doling out to Eve - Love, patience, and understanding - are the coin of the realm between feral cats and Humans. Keep doing just as you're doing, and remember that you are as much her emotional support animal as she is yours. Remind her in whatsoever fashion you may, that she is Loved completely, and that being Loved will never stop, and you'll be astounded at the difference you can make in her Life - and she in yours.

Best of luck - and welcome to TCS!
.

 

[danteshuman]

That is true. I make an effort to avoid eye contact with our semi-feral, Chester. I even look at him in the mirror when I'm petting him. I have to watch his body language carefully and be calm with him.

So if you have a semi-feral instead of bemoaning how you don't have a lap cat, get a lap cat. Then love your wild cat for being wild. It is important that wee kittens are socialized since the socialization window is so small. It took Chester 7 years (and a neuter at 5 years) to get to the point where he asks for his nightly cuddles!

 

[1CatOverTheLine]

That is true. I make an effort to avoid eye contact with our semi-feral, Chester. I even look at him in the mirror when I'm petting him. I have to watch his body language carefully and be calm with him.

So if you have a semi-feral instead of bemoaning how you don't have a lap cat, get a lap cat. Then love your wild cat for being wild. It is important that wee kittens are socialized since the socialization window is so small. It took Chester 7 years (and a neuter at 5 years) to get to the point where he asks for his nightly cuddles!

danteshuman - They can take years, but the reward on that day when they finally make it clear to you that they understand that they're Loved, simply cannot be measured.
.

 

[Blakeney Green]

It sounds like you're doing all the right things already. Slow progress is still progress. I think you're doing a great job with her.

 

[JamesCalifornia]

!

They can take years, but the reward on that day when they finally make it clear to you that they understand that they're Loved, simply cannot be measured.

~ Yes ... So true . A very rewarding feeling of accomplishment - only better !

 

[Ashleyannmerk]

My fur baby was our neighbors cat and she had gotten to the point where she was pretty much living outside and looked homeless. Me and her fell in love pretty much overnight and now she lives with me, never looking back. I had family cats but never my own so I’m not sure if I’m just new to this but my kitty seems extremely sensitive. She’s very friendly and now easily scared like yours but she gets very very anxious and upset very easily. My vet recommended I start her on a supplement, Zylkene and boy did it it make a difference! Even her vet could see the dramatic difference at her first visit since she started the supplement. She’s still extremely needy but I think that’s just how our relationship is between us. She was soft biting a little bit and swatting and hissing sometimes when she first moved in with us, but that behavior stopped mostly after a month or so or being here and now that she’s on the Zylkene, she almost never ever exhibits any aggressive behavior and when she does she only threatens and it’s usually for good reason. For instance, the other day I picked her up and tried running inside with her and she was hissing (didn’t bite or scratch) even though she was scared because I was frantically trying to get her inside after seeing a hawk fly low above the yard.

She’s also even more affectionate than ever! I don’t know if it’s because our bond is stronger but I’m woken up multiple times a night by a loudly purring kitty in my face and her claws kneading into my chest, or by her climbing up my body and laying down on my throat under my chin. The Zylkene has been a god sent and not just because of how she is with be it because I can see how much more relaxed she is. She would sometimes stay up all night staring at the ceiling all anxious because she heard something crawling up there... now, she mostly hunts during the day and relaxes at night. I get it on Amazon for pretty cheap and I highly highly recommend it. Maybe even try the Feliway diffuser or spray. The room she’s usually in is the garage (it’s heated and has furniture and tv and most of her things) so the diffuser didn’t make much sense since we open the garage door everyday and all air would be fresh and would be wasting the Feliway. I’ve heard wonderful things about that.

The other thing that seemed to work for my fur baby was having her own designated area. She has the garage, where most of her things are, then she has a small sitting room with no window that’s really warm upstairs that’s connected to the garage by a small staircase and she likes to nap up there alone quietly. Then she also goes into my dads room that’s off of the sitting room and hang out with him in the morning when he shaves and gets ready for work. I’d like to get her to go to my room but there’s dogs here and they don’t get along, so I sleep with her on the couch in the garage every night. Oh, the things we do for our fur babies!! I’m moving into my own place soon and I’m going to have a room with just her things (toys, bed, litter box, tv, couch, food dishes, cat furniture, etc.) because she seems to like that stability and feeling like she has a safe space.

 

[JamesCalifornia]

FYI​

~> Zylkene quickly helps pets to cope with many challenging situations and can facilitate adaption to change. Zylkene contains the globally patented bioactive decapeptide a-casozepine, derived from milk protein casein.

 

[Tobermory]

I use the original Feliway (they also have a newer multicat for aggression) with diffuser to help my semi feral adoptee, Mocha, feel less stressed. She’s probably about four now, and I adopted her last fall. She still flinches when I reach out to pet her, although she likes to have her shoulders scritched, and she’ll skitter out of the way when I walk past her. And like 1CatOverTheLine (Brewer and Shipley?) says, I move smoothly and speak softly and calmly to her...even when I’m discouraging her from scratching my rugs. She’s very sweet, but I know she had a tough time before I got her. We’ll just move at her speed!

 

[1CatOverTheLine]

And like 1CatOverTheLine (Brewer and Shipley?)

Tobermory - Somehow I suspect that Michael Brewer and Tom Shipley might not think so highly of '1CatOverTheLine.'



I'm a-waitin' for the train that goes home, sweet Mary,
Hopin' that the train is on time; I'm
Sittin' downtown at the no-kill shelter,
One cat over the line.

I got Birmans, Burmese,
Siamese and Tonkinese,
Javanese and Balinese too;
I got Weegies and moggies
Bigger than doggies,
I've even got the Evil Snowshoe.

I buy Friskies an' Fancy
Feast by the truckload,
Kitty litter comes by rail;
I got kitties in the bedrooms
Kitties in the closet,
I've even bought some kitties by mail.

When the Great Speckled Bird comes
To call me to Judgment
I'm gonna have to tell Her I'll be late;
I gotta scoop them boxes and
Feed them foxes, an'
The kitties get their Greenies at eight.

I'm one cat over the line, sweet Mary
One cat over the line; I'm
Sittin' downtown at the no-kill shelter,
One cat over the line.
I'm just waitin' for a sale to come along at PetsMart,
Hopin' that the prices are fine, I'm
Sittin' downtown at the no-kill shelter,
One cat over the line,
One cat, One cat over the line.
.

 

[Tobermory]

Tobermory - Somehow I suspect that Michael Brewer and Tom Shipley might not think so highly of '1CatOverTheLine.'



I'm a-waitin' for the train that goes home, sweet Mary,
Hopin' that the train is on time; I'm
Sittin' downtown at the no-kill shelter,
One cat over the line.

I got Birmans, Burmese,
Siamese and Tonkinese,
Javanese and Balinese too;
I got Weegies and moggies
Bigger than doggies,
I've even got the Evil Snowshoe.

I buy Friskies an' Fancy
Feast by the truckload,
Kitty litter comes by rail;
I got kitties in the bedrooms
Kitties in the closet,
I've even bought some kitties by mail.

When the Great Speckled Bird comes
To call me to Judgment
I'm gonna have to tell Her I'll be late;
I gotta scoop them boxes and
Feed them foxes, an'
The kitties get their Greenies at eight.

I'm one cat over the line, sweet Mary
One cat over the line; I'm
Sittin' downtown at the no-kill shelter,
One cat over the line.
I'm just waitin' for a sale to come along at PetsMart,
Hopin' that the prices are fine, I'm
Sittin' downtown at the no-kill shelter,
One cat over the line,
One cat, One cat over the line.
.

Oh, man. That’s incredible! And of course, I hummed the whole time. Just heard the original on the radio on Friday. Are we dating ourselves?

 

[1CatOverTheLine]

Are we dating ourselves?

Tobermory - I take myself out to dinner now and then, but I've never thought of it as a "date."

<bah dum bum>
.

 

[Tobermory]

Tobermory - I take myself out to dinner now and then, but I've never thought of it as a "date."

<bah dum bum>
.

Groan. Of course, I usually do have better conversations with myself and with the cats than with anyone else.

 

[adreamofempire]

That is true. I make an effort to avoid eye contact with our semi-feral, Chester. I even look at him in the mirror when I'm petting him. I have to watch his body language carefully and be calm with him.

So if you have a semi-feral instead of bemoaning how you don't have a lap cat, get a lap cat. Then love your wild cat for being wild. It is important that wee kittens are socialized since the socialization window is so small. It took Chester 7 years (and a neuter at 5 years) to get to the point where he asks for his nightly cuddles!

I'm not bemoaning anything.

 

[JamesCalifornia]

~ I look into my cats' face and eyes all the time. It's how I communicate with them . There are things some say never do with a cat that are false . I scratch / rub their back ; look at their face and talk to them ; hold them to my cheek ; play with their tail ...
They have never tried to scratch or bite me - even the ones who are skittish .
Maybe I'm part cat !?

 

[1CatOverTheLine]

~ I look into my cats' face and eyes all the time. It's how I communicate with them . There are things some say never do with a cat that are false . I scratch / rub their back ; look at their face and talk to them ; hold them to my cheek ; play with their tail ...
They have never tried to scratch or bite me - even the ones who are skittish .
Maybe I'm part cat !?

JamesCalifornia - Nope; not part cat - but I'll bet you also get down on the floor with them and bunt them, give them the slow blink when you first bring them inside, and have the patience to understand that they do things in their own time. You also long ago disabused yourself of the notion that, "cats can be dangerous." Cats are just little furry people, and the few times that you're scratched or bitten fade away into nothing. Cats aren't dangerous (no offence intended to basscat or Gibs); Humans on the other hand....
.

 

[basscat]

Anything can be dangerous if handled improperly. Including a hand size, cute, cuddly kitten.
To me, Gibs isn't any more dangerous than a kitchen utensil.
Of course, the Dr. say for now, the forks must stay corked.