Adding a Third Cat?

[misty8723]

Am I nuts to even think about getting a third cat?  We just adopted a young cat, and she seems to be getting along okay with Swanie.  Swanie is a sweet boy and gets along with all cats he's come across so far (he will hide if they are mean to him).  But they're just getting to know each other, and Cricket doesn't seem interested in spending time with him or cuddling.  I know Swanie would like a cuddle buddy (what he was used to), but maybe Cricket will never be that for him.

There's a cat at the shelter who has been there since we started looking for a new cat (December), and who is still there (I now volunteer at the shelter).  She is very, very shy and scared, but I'm told once she gets to know and trust you, she is very sweet.  She let me pet her yesterday when I was cleaning the room, but only for a minute.  I was sort of interested in her to begin with, but DH thought she would be too much of a project.  She probably will be, but I wonder how much chance she has to get out of the shelter if she runs to the corners when people come in to see the cats.  Therefore, I've been thinking a lot about her, but I don't want to upset the apple cart here either.  I wonder if maybe she would be a cuddle buddy for Swanie and maybe he would help her become less timid.

I know it's totally irresponsible to get another cat - we can afford healthy kitties, but if one gets sick, we're pretty tapped out after caring for Cindy and Darcy. 

So... am I nuts to even think about it?  I suspect that I am.

 

[cat nap]

 
Am I nuts to even think about getting a third cat?  We just adopted a young cat, and she seems to be getting along okay with Swanie.  Swanie is a sweet boy and gets along with all cats he's come across so far (he will hide if they are mean to him).  But they're just getting to know each other, and Cricket doesn't seem interested in spending time with him or cuddling.  I know Swanie would like a cuddle buddy (what he was used to), but maybe Cricket will never be that for him.

There's a cat at the shelter who has been there since we started looking for a new cat (December), and who is still there (I now volunteer at the shelter).  She is very, very shy and scared, but I'm told once she gets to know and trust you, she is very sweet.  She let me pet her yesterday when I was cleaning the room, but only for a minute.  I was sort of interested in her to begin with, but DH thought she would be too much of a project.  She probably will be, but I wonder how much chance she has to get out of the shelter if she runs to the corners when people come in to see the cats.  Therefore, I've been thinking a lot about her, but I don't want to upset the apple cart here either.  I wonder if maybe she would be a cuddle buddy for Swanie and maybe he would help her become less timid.

I know it's totally irresponsible to get another cat - we can afford healthy kitties, but if one gets sick, we're pretty tapped out after caring for Cindy and Darcy. 

So... am I nuts to even think about it?  I suspect that I am.

I don't think you are 'nuts' to think about it....but I do think that you have to realistically sit down, and take a good hard look, at all your finances,...what you could manage to put away, for when a cat does become sick, money for extra food, litter, toys, regular vet bills.  Make a list of what you have already been spending for the months, with actual receipts. Then leave this list for a few days, and come back to it.  See if you left anything out...and add to it.

Be as detailed as you can.

No one can predict when a cat can become ill, and I'm sorry that your Cindy and Darcy, needed expensive care.  That is always difficult.  You seem like such a caring person to have done all you could.

How is your little Cricket acting in your home, these days?

Is she just moving at a slow pace, and still trying to get used to every new thing?

Does she like to play with you ?

She may never be a 'cuddle buddy'....and really there are no guarantees that another shy or non-shy cat would?  (Though you want to find a new 'cuddle buddy' for Swanie...it may end up that the new cats would bond, and ignore the resident older cat (Swanie), ....or all 3 may want their own spaces...or retreat to their own spaces.)  Even knowing a cat's personality, their interaction with another new cat, may be entirely different than expected.

If Swanie is laid back, he may not want to bother with a third cat's behaviour, and as you said he may go and hide.

I think it's great that you volunteer at the shelter, because you will be learning so much, just being around the cats, and watching the various behaviours...plus the fact that you are helping the cats get more socialized and then easier to adopt. 

No, you are not 'nuts'....just someone, who wants the best for their cats. 

 

  'Wanting the best for our cats'...is contagious around here.

 

 

[misty8723]

Thanks cat nap.

Yes, I know, it really is just a thought, partly because I so much want what is good for Swanie, and partly because I just hate to see the ones who get overlooked in the shelter because they're not outgoing and playful when the visitors come in.  I'm sure I will not be adopting another cat at this point.  We are financially able to take care of our cats and even another cat, vet bills, food, toys, etc.  Cindy had a two year battle with cancer that ultimately took her from us, but we did everything we could to get her in remission (she was for a while) and have a good quality of life. But it ran up the credit card debt that I'm still paying off (but I have that managed on a 0% interest card).  Darcy had a two month battle with FIP that she of course lost, but we gave her the best last two months we could. Darcy was perfect and it kills me that she's gone, I loved her so much.

I know that what you see at the shelter doesn't necessarily tell you how they'll behave once you get them home. Cricket is definitely not the shy, timid cat she was at the shelter -  and she's not taking it slow for sure.  She came in and was pretty much at home from the beginning.  For the first couple weeks, she slept under the bed during the day, but came out with very little coaxing. Now she hasn't been under the bed for awhile.  And right now she's tearing around the house with "feather bird."  I am keeping a close watch on her.  She doesn't try to eat the feathers, fortunately.  At first she growled when Swanie came by her, but she doesn't do that anymore.  Sometimes she will go up and greet him nose to nose, but more often she'll just pass by him with no interaction.  she doesn't seem to be a cuddler (not with us either), which is fine, cause she's a very sweet kitty in general.

We adopted Swanie and Cindy together in 2005 and they loved each other. They loved to cuddle and he loved to groom her.  He also had that relationship building with Darcy.  I guess maybe getting that a third time might be impossible. I know that any new cat might not want anything to do with him, or might bond more with Cricket, or might not care about either one of them.  Which is why I probably would not bring another cat in here right now. Although I did think about maybe a foster situation to see how that went, but it's just a thought I doubt I will act on.

I felt compelled to volunteer at that shelter, I was so impressed with it.  I don't know how many shelters will keep a cat around for life even if they prove to be unadoptable.  Even a cat who has renal problems who they thought his time might be up more than once, but he rallied, and he's still there.  It's little enough that I do, feed and clean out the rooms / cages in back once a week, but I know it helps a little.

 

[cat nap]

Hey @Misty8723, Thanks for your update. It actually explains a lot, of why you want another cat.

Your idea of trying a "foster situation" is actually a pretty good one.

I thought it was more a matter of finances, and would still suggest you pay off the debt first...just so it does not cause you more stress, but if you are able to realistically afford a third cat, without putting strain on the household budget, then all you would be doing is investing in extra time and commitment.

No wonder, you want the cuddle friend for Swanie, especially if he liked to cuddle and groom with Cindy, and then accepted Darcy.
FIP is such a devastating disease, and I cannot believe after so much time, that they cannot come up with any good treatments, or even vaccines. (Back in the late 1980's one of my cats, a female 3 year old, died of the wet FIP.  I had never even heard of it before, and was upset, angry, sad because I thought the yearly vaccines would be enough to protect my cat.)

(My cats were never really cuddlers, but they did like to playfight, wrestle, and then they would fall asleep near each other, but never right together.  The odd time, my younger rainbow cat, would want to be in the same cat bed, but I took that as more of wanting to get warm or something, not actually cuddling.) I kind of envy people who have lap cats, but my 14 year old tuxedo cat, Spotty, always seems to be near me sleeping...like 2 feet away...but then after a few months, he decides to change locations to other spots, under coffee table, or side chairs...never on my lap, though.
Wow, it sounds like your Cricket just moved on in, and never looked back.

That is so cool.  
I still don't know what that 'feather bird' toy is ...Is it 'Da Bird' that everyone talks about? 

I must be the only person here, that does not own one.  (My cat may disown me, if he finds out that all members have one

) ( I should go over to Reviews and look them up.)

Maybe all you need right now, is just some more time, to see if Cricket will warm up, and want to play with Swanie, and see if Swanie accepts the fact that Cricket will not be going anywhere.  Who knows, maybe he does not want to get too close, just yet, but will later. Or because of his age, he would rather just be happily left alone, but still okay, with just watching what goes on.

Would you care if a new cat bonded only with Cricket and not with Swanie?  I think it is so difficult, to get personalities to mesh, but if you change your expectations slightly, and do try out that fostering, you never know.  (It so surprised me, that you said that Cricket had no issues with your place. I was expecting the opposite because she was shy and timid in the shelter.  Maybe because your Swanie is so laid back, that made it 10 times easier on her.  Whatever the reason, it's such a good thing.) 

 

[misty8723]

Some pictures:

Swanie and Cindy.  Swane is the Tuxie.

Cindy and Swanie.jpg

• misty8723
• Feb 23, 2015

Swanie and Darcy

Swanie & Darcy.jpg

• misty8723
• Feb 23, 2015

Swanie and Cricket

Swanie & Cricket.jpg

• misty8723
• Feb 23, 2015

 

[misty8723]

 
Hey @Misty8723, Thanks for your update. It actually explains a lot, of why you want another cat.

Your idea of trying a "foster situation" is actually a pretty good one.

I thought it was more a matter of finances, and would still suggest you pay off the debt first...just so it does not cause you more stress, but if you are able to realistically afford a third cat, without putting strain on the household budget, then all you would be doing is investing in extra time and commitment.

No wonder, you want the cuddle friend for Swanie, especially if he liked to cuddle and groom with Cindy, and then accepted Darcy.
FIP is such a devastating disease, and I cannot believe after so much time, that they cannot come up with any good treatments, or even vaccines. (Back in the late 1980's one of my cats, a female 3 year old, died of the wet FIP.  I had never even heard of it before, and was upset, angry, sad because I thought the yearly vaccines would be enough to protect my cat.)

(My cats were never really cuddlers, but they did like to playfight, wrestle, and then they would fall asleep near each other, but never right together.  The odd time, my younger rainbow cat, would want to be in the same cat bed, but I took that as more of wanting to get warm or something, not actually cuddling.) I kind of envy people who have lap cats, but my 14 year old tuxedo cat, Spotty, always seems to be near me sleeping...like 2 feet away...but then after a few months, he decides to change locations to other spots, under coffee table, or side chairs...never on my lap, though.
Wow, it sounds like your Cricket just moved on in, and never looked back.

That is so cool.  
I still don't know what that 'feather bird' toy is ...Is it 'Da Bird' that everyone talks about? 

I must be the only person here, that does not own one.  (My cat may disown me, if he finds out that all members have one

) ( I should go over to Reviews and look them up.)

Maybe all you need right now, is just some more time, to see if Cricket will warm up, and want to play with Swanie, and see if Swanie accepts the fact that Cricket will not be going anywhere.  Who knows, maybe he does not want to get too close, just yet, but will later. Or because of his age, he would rather just be happily left alone, but still okay, with just watching what goes on.

Would you care if a new cat bonded only with Cricket and not with Swanie?  I think it is so difficult, to get personalities to mesh, but if you change your expectations slightly, and do try out that fostering, you never know.  (It so surprised me, that you said that Cricket had no issues with your place. I was expecting the opposite because she was shy and timid in the shelter.  Maybe because your Swanie is so laid back, that made it 10 times easier on her.  Whatever the reason, it's such a good thing.) 

cat nap, I'm so sorry you had a cat who died of FIP.  It is a horrible, awful disease. My vet said it's hard for them to get a handle on it (to find a cure) because it's so random.  You might have 100 cats exposed to the corona virus and only one mutates.  but why?  I didn't know anything about it either until my Darcy got it. I loved Darcy from the second I petted her in the Shelter. She was sweet, loving, beautiful, and altogether perfect cat.  I miss her.  She was a real cuddle cat, with us and with Swanie. Loved to be right up against us.  Several times I saw her walk into a room, walk up to Swanie and rub her face on his face. I thought that was the sweetest thing I had ever seen.

 

Cindy and Swanie, Cindy took a while to warm up to Swanie. She was a very shy, scared cat when we got her. We think she may have been abused at some point. If you would reach to pet her, she would cringe.  We loved her through that and the nightmares, and she turned into a really warm, sweet girl.  She and Swanie played together, hung out together, cuddled together. Swanie is my heart kitty and Cindy was DH's heart kitty. Most evenings we would get in bed to watch TV and Swanie would be on me and Cindy would be on DH.

 

Both losses were devastating, and they came only a few months apart.

 

We spent a lot time visiting Cricket at the shelter. She was slower than some going through the program because they had a hard time getting her to eat at first. They even had to syringe feed her for a while I guess. And the evening volunteer forgot to pick up the dishes for the kitties that were supposed to be spayed/neutered, so that set her back even further. They were so nice at the shelter though, she made special arrangements to get her spayed so we could take her home without having to wait and have her linger back in that cage for another how every long it would be until the next spay / neuter day.  Honestly, we would go in the meet and greet room with her and she would stay wherever you put her, or scoot up to cuddle next to our leg.  One day she actually got up and walked around the room, and we were amazed.  Here, she sure did move right in. I guess she was in her safe room for a little over a week, but she didn’t want to say in there.  When she got out it was 100 miles an hour all around the house.  Her first encounters with Swanie were growls, but he’s a good boy and he maybe hissed once and that was it.  He would like to get closer to her, but she’s not interested. Maybe someday she will be. She does sometimes come into a room and greet him nose to nose, but more often just ignores him.  At least she’s not attacking him.  Who knows, maybe someday I’ll come into the room and see a cuddle.

 

Honestly, I would probably be very sad if a new cat bonded only with Cricket and not Swanie. One of the biggest reasons we went to get another cat was so he could have a friend. I am just having a hard time not thinking about Tamarind in the shelter.  I think what I’d really like is get two cats, one to play with  Cricket and one to cuddle and hang out with Swanie.  But there are no guarantees, and it might just turn into a big cat mess, so I’ll probably leave well enough alone.

 

Thanks for listening to me and helping me think this through!

Oh, the feather bird is not "Da Bird."  This one  is even more awesome.  http://www.cattamboo.com/

 

[cat nap]

@Misty8723   those photographs you posted are simply beautiful. The last one of Cricket and Swanie, just shows me how Swanie seems to be the type of cat who accepts anyone.  He doesn't seem nervous having his back turned and being so close to Cricket.  And I cannot believe they are laying so close.  That is so great. 

I don't think you have to want them to be cuddlers, but having them in the same room, being so comfortable...so quickly...that is amazing.

I hear you on the "losses being devastating"....and especially for you, and your husband, because one happened so close after the other. I think, though, that you cannot have any regrets for Cindy, because you did so much and got her into remission, and it sounds like her quality of life was good for awhile. For Darcy, too, it was just out of your hands.  For me, the loss of any of my animals is always difficult, but easier as time goes on, and new cats and dogs have entered my life since Jasper.  Thanks for the condolences for Jasper, she might not have had a long life (3yrs), but she brought us so much joy to last in good memories.

Cricket sounds like she went over a lot of hurdles and she's so lucky to have you, and it sounds like you are lucky too, but just want her to become closer.  She sounds perfect to me, and more of the type of cat that I have always had.  I guess I just let my cats do whatever they want, and as long as they are happy, then it's okay by me. That is probably why I like cats, for their unique personalities.

I think what you really have to do, is be open to the idea that the cats' will find their own way of being together...be it 1 foot apart, closer or further...and just find acceptance that they do get along...just maybe not the way you had planned it. Cats live in the moment..that is what makes them interesting companions.

Thanks for that "feather bird" link, I shall go over and look at it.

 

[misty8723]

Oh, I do accept the cats for who they are, and love them for who they are.  Swanie is a sweetheart who so far has been fine with every cat he's been around. He even tried with the one who was mean to him.  He hisses a few times when a new one comes in, then settles down. Cricket and  Swanie are doing fine together, DH even called me at work a couple days ago to tell me they were playing together!  Cricket doesn't seem to want to cuddle, but she's a sweetie and comes to us often for pets and purrs (and play session with the feather bird). I think I was just hoping Swanie could have another friend to cuddle with and groom.  Maybe it's not even a big deal to him, for all I know

 

[cat nap]

 
Oh, I do accept the cats for who they are, and love them for who they are.  Swanie is a sweetheart who so far has been fine with every cat he's been around. He even tried with the one who was mean to him.  He hisses a few times when a new one comes in, then settles down. Cricket and  Swanie are doing fine together, DH even called me at work a couple days ago to tell me they were playing together!  Cricket doesn't seem to want to cuddle, but she's a sweetie and comes to us often for pets and purrs (and play session with the feather bird). I think I was just hoping Swanie could have another friend to cuddle with and groom.  Maybe it's not even a big deal to him, for all I know

 

  

  

   "Maybe it's not even a big deal to him, for all I know".....That last line had me laughing, because I think it might be so true!  Too bad the cats can't just write things down, for us. 

  

Who knows what the future will bring, but give it some more time, for Cricket to fully bond into your household, and also take into consideration what your hubby wants.  Now, you can enjoy watching them play. 

 

[misty8723]

 

 

  

  

   "Maybe it's not even a big deal to him, for all I know".....That last line had me laughing, because I think it might be so true!  Too bad the cats can't just write things down, for us. 

  

Who knows what the future will bring, but give it some more time, for Cricket to fully bond into your household, and also take into consideration what your hubby wants.  Now, you can enjoy watching them play. 

That is so true.  I wish I could find a pet communicator that was legitimate and could tell me what they are thinking

Cricket was in the scratchy box a little earlier, Swanie came in and walked up to her and they touched noses.  I love it. But she's down her "bothering" me to bring the feather bird back to life and he is upstairs bonding with the microfiber blanket. 

Husband goes back and forth about a third cat.  He wants one I think, but worries about if one of them gets sick.  I'm sure I will just leave well enough alone for now.

 

[LTS3]

Dawn Allen is a highly recommended animal communicator: http://dawnallen.org/

 

[cat nap]

Yeah, I'm more into science and observation of cats, than anything else...but like to joke that sometimes it would be nice to get them to remind me where I placed things and other useful skills.

"Bonding with the micorfiber blanket" sounds like an excellent past time.  

  My older cat would always sneak upstairs to nap, and get away from the more active younger cat.

Yes, I think what you are doing is best, and just re-visit the option in the future.  Plus, you will be busy taking more photos, playing more games, and just enjoying each day together with your fur crew. 

 

 

[cat nap]

 
Dawn Allen is a highly recommended animal communicator: http://dawnallen.org/

@LTS3  ...Have you used her services?  Does she have to use up a lot of her 40 minutes into having a telepathic connection?  Did you find her more useful than books?

 

[cat nap]

 

 
Dawn Allen is a highly recommended animal communicator: http://dawnallen.org/

@LTS3  ...Have you used her services?  Does she have to use up a lot of her 40 minutes into having a telepathic connection?  Did you find her more useful than books?

@LTS3   Please, skip these questions. I realized that they are too personal to address on an open site.  And  Besides, you gave the link, so I can just go and research, and find out more for myself.

 

 

[misty8723]

 
Dawn Allen is a highly recommended animal communicator: http://dawnallen.org/

So was the one I used, but I'm still skeptical. 

 

[cat nap]

I've never used one, but since I believe that we all have a unique connection to our own animals, then I could perhaps believe that another person could pick up on MY own feelings, and ideas.

But I would be skeptical, too, in that another person could actually 'hear' my cat.  Watching and learning about behaviour is much more concrete for me. 

 

[misty8723]

 
I've never used one, but since I believe that we all have a unique connection to our own animals, then I could perhaps believe that another person could pick up on MY own feelings, and ideas.

But I would be skeptical, too, in that another person could actually 'hear' my cat.  Watching and learning about behaviour is much more concrete for me.

Since I believe that animals communicate with each other telepathically, I think possibly someone with the ability could communicate with them.  However, there are so many people who would just love to part gullible people with their money that I am hopeful, but also skeptical. I wouldn't rely only on that. I've had a few sessions, but it was partly for fun, partly curiosity, partly trying anything to help Cynthia when she was sick.

 

[cat nap]

 
Since I believe that animals communicate with each other telepathically, I think possibly someone with the ability could communicate with them.  However, there are so many people who would just love to part gullible people with their money that I am hopeful, but also skeptical. I wouldn't rely only on that. I've had a few sessions, but it was partly for fun, partly curiosity, partly trying anything to help Cynthia when she was sick.

Thanks for sharing that @Misty8723.  I never thought that animals could communicate with each other telepathically, but rather use heightened senses,...hearing, smell, sight, vibrations, atmospheric pressure changes in the air before storms arrive...but who knows, they could be communicating on another level.  But I agree, I would be very wary, especially if my cat were ill, that I would be the one spending a lot of money to try anything, and the end result is the same...especially if a person were only reading my 'tells'.  (Also I would be worried if I was told some 'complaints' from my cat, like he didn't like the food, he hates the vet, my sister is nicer than me..etc..  I hear enough from people...so I don't need more from my fur crew.)  If it helped a person feel better, and they got some hope and peace from it, and did not spend a lot of money, then maybe the money aspect wouldn't matter. I guess everyone has to decide for themselves, what they believe.