Adding a second cat?

[aaoz]

One of our two cats died fairly suddenly a several weeks ago, and we're trying to decide if it makes sense to add another one to our household. We wouldn't be doing this for another few weeks (after the holidays) at the earliest, but have started thinking about the logistics. As much as I'd love to adopt a sweet, cuddly cat who enjoys spending time with us, I'm just not sure it makes sense.

Our current cat and our cat who died never totally got along, even though we'd had them both for about seven years. Current cat is large (14 pounds of pure muscle), somewhat dominant and territorial, and occasionally aggressive when anxious (he was a rescue and, while much improved, I think his early life was very stressful).  He is generally sweet with us, though mostly keeps to himself, but I suspect living with him for our other cat was like living with a large, drunk man who wanted to wrestle all the time. 

We also have a two-year-old toddler, and as strict as we are about treating our current cat appropriately, she's unfortunately at that age where she's just not a good listener. Our current cat seems able to cope with her behavior, but I worry that a sweeter or more mellow animal might find her stressful. She doesn't hit or pull fur, but she tries to give hugs a lot and is bad about leaving him alone when he's had his fill of attention.

My fear at this point is that we're just not a good family for an older, sweet, lap-cat like we would want.  What are your thoughts?

 

[jcat]

We're on our second "only cat", meaning we adopted cats that were known not to get along with other cats and accepted it. It's an absolute myth that all cats are better off with a feline companion. I work at a shelter, and the number of juveniles that have been returned because efforts to introduce them as second cats failed, especially when the first cat was older, is pretty appalling. Their adoption chances are diminished because they no longer have the cuteness of a very young kitten and people figure something is "wrong" with them because they were returned. Our Mogli is one of those cats. His experience of being rejected/attacked by his previous owners' first cat may well have led to his extreme dislike of other cats. There are several cats at the shelter who have to be housed alone and will only be adopted out as "singletons".

If your cat isn't left alone for long hours every day and seems content without another cat in the house, it would probably be best to "leave well enough alone", IMO.

 

[aaoz]

I think you're right. We were really encouraged to adopt a second cat several years ago and everyone kept telling us that cats are social and need companionship, but I don't think this is necessarily true. In fact, we always felt somewhat guilty about getting our second (current) cat, since I'm pretty sure our cat who died recently was happier without him.

We really miss our cat, and would love to adopt another that shared more of her personality traits, but our current cat seems content as is, and you're right that it's not worth rocking the boat for no real reason.

Thank you!

 

[dejolane]

When I brought Thunder home one day from getting her from one of my daughter's litters, we put Thunder in a see through carrier so Bella could sniff and see her. Later we took both of the cats to my sister in laws and let them run together. It isn't an adventure I wanted to go through again. so that's why we only have 2 cats. It was ugly. 

 

 

[snrub1]

If your cat is happy, I don't think it's a requirement that they have a buddy. Some cats love other cats, some are indifferent, some hate them.

We have three cats at home, two of them were litter mates and were adopted together when they were about three months old. They are still best buds, love chasing each other around the house, love cuddling together, grooming each other, etc. Our third cat, Tori, was adopted later when all were adults. We also foster for a local shelter, so we constantly have other foster cats coming and going (though we typically keep our fosters separate). Tori loves every other cat she's ever been around, and I can't imagine her being an only cat. Our other cats typically hiss a bit around new fosters (it was worse when we first started fostering), but eventually start tolerating them. They also tolerate Tori provided she doesn't get right up in their face, which sometimes makes them mad (thought I have seem Tori occasionally cuddling with one of our other cats in the cat tree). We also at one point had a nursing mom with her babies that we were fostering, and the mom cat absolutely HATED all cats other than her babies. Maybe she was just being protective, but she couldn't get anywhere near one of our other cats without starting something.

Long story short, all cats are different, and what is best for one cat might not be best for another. If it was an option, you may consider fostering like we do, and see how your cat does around other cats. That could help you decide if adopting another cat is right for you or not.