April 13th 2012-November 21st 2018
On Wednesday November 21st, I lost my baby Snowball at only 6 years old.
The story of his passing is very hard for me to tell, so I only want to tell it once for you all.
About six months ago, I started a thread here about my cat Snowball who had suddenly gone to the emergency room while I was away at college. The months that followed, I returned home stayed home and with the advice of many wonderful people on this site tried my best to help him through his sudden unknown health condition. For some reason that no one knows why, the area around Snowball’s lungs and heart would fill up with a lot of fluid that of course at a certain point would push against his organs making it hard to breathe and potentially scar his insides. Every few weeks we would have to go to the vet where Snowball would have to get the water drained from his body which was a pretty traumatic experience for him.
Around two weeks ago, after coming back from the Vet with the concerning news that they found blood in the fluid, he suddenly stopped eating. At first we thought it was stress from his vet visit but soon he started vomiting constantly and showed signs of wanting to eat but every time he did he would throw up. After force feeding him for days hoping for some kind of recovery, on Tuesday night suddenly he couldn’t walk right anymore and he started to collapse. I picked up his body that weighed as light as a feather and put him in his bed hoping that the next day would bring more promise as I was going to call the vet to set up an appointment for him that week.
That morning I woke up to hearing him trying to move and suddenly collapse, hitting his head on the door frame. I immediately rushed to his side knowing we could not wait any longer. It was like he was completely paralyzed. His paws were cold, he did not pur or meow, and he didn’t sleep. He just stared off into the distance in obvious anguish. In that moment, I knew. I just knew I would have to make a terrible choice that day.
At the vet the look on their face was clear that Snowball was not in good shape and was suffering a lot. They said that it was likely Snowball had easily caught some other disease because of his fluid problem which apparently made his body susceptible to other things. They said they could keep him overnight for the next few days but they didn’t think he would make it and advised us to putting him down. I did not want to do it, this was my worst nightmare coming to life and it didn’t even feel real. But Snowball could not move at all and had not eaten and I didn’t want to see him in pain anymore. When delivering the shot, he actually lifted his head and made odd sounds which made me feel all the more guilty as we said our goodbyes and wept over him very loudly. It was the worst thing I have ever done.
Snowball was like my own child, my baby. It feels as if I have actually lost my baby and it was so sudden and unexpected. I know cats don’t live forever, but I never expected him to leave us so soon. But him being so young is what gets to me the most as well as little Snowball leaving behind his littermate and best friend who have been inseperable since the womb and who misses him dearly. They were supposed to grow old together and I will regret that for as long as I live.
The way he came to us and how he got his name despite the color of his fur are nice stories but this post is already so long so I will try to wrap up some of my favorite things about him.
Snowball was one of the sweetest cats you’d ever meet. He never hissed, scratched, growled, or bit in his life. He absolutely loved catnip, drinking water from cups, jumping in chairs, and cuddling with his brother. We could all pet him for hours upon hours and he wouldn’t get tired of it, belly and chest rubs being his favorite. He would sometimes head-butt me and rub against me, and for a small cat he had the biggest purr that rumbled throughout his entire body. He always had a baby face and a baby-like meow that made him adorable and had us bending to his will, while I would always spoil him rotten with all the love I had.
With my depression and anxiety, Snowball always seemed to lift my spirits no matter what. He helped me through such a tumultuous time of my life and I can only hope I helped him too. I still feel like I’m in denial that he’s gone and I still look for him everywhere. He was the light of my life, a gift to me and this world and now that he’s gone nothing feels right. Suddenly the world looks dull, monochrome, and meaningless. I have lost the one thing that meant so much to me as well as his brother now too.
I know I will miss Snowball everyday for the rest of my life. I just want him back and I would do anything to have him back, but until I see him in heaven, goodbye my sweet little prince.
I leave you with some pictures of him although I wish I could post all the pictures I have of him for you. If you would like to hear some stories about him I won’t hesitate to tell you as now I’ve been remembering so much about him. He would want you to know how cute he was too.
Attachments
-
1.3 MB Views: 197
-
192.9 KB Views: 177
-
1.7 MB Views: 194
-
1.3 MB Views: 193
-
1 MB Views: 189
-
2.1 MB Views: 198
-
1.2 MB Views: 173
Last edited: