A Sad Situation-Advice Maybe?

[flisssweetpea]

I'm so sorry for your son and daughter.

I would definitely talk to him about it. It doesn't have to be a major discussion, I found the best way to start these kinds of conversations with my kids when they were teenagers was just as a kind of "by the way" thing. So, whilst I was doing something else like cleaning a room or something and they were there, I would just say something like "it must be really hard losing xxxx like that - how are you doing with that?"

I know that each child is different and it depends on the relationship you have with them, but mine tended to open up more if I didn't make a big fuss out of the "chat".

Big hugs to you and your son and daughter as well. It's hard on the kids and it's hard on the parents too, watching their children deal with something like this.

 

[lookingglass]

This is coming from someone who had childhood depression. Have you thought about getting him into art therapy? I can remember my first instance of depression was right after I started my period, and I didn't have the vocabulary to describe how I felt. Something wasn't right, but I couldn't tell my parents. They didn't find out until they saw some of my art projects that they started to question how I was feeling. It could be very helpful.

 

[lsulover]

Originally Posted by neetanddave

I would say that being with people his own age at his own request is a positive step. He might just need some space for a bit, not really in a depression yet.

for all of you, such a sad loss.

Sometimes that is all that kids need, just to be around friends and talk about good times.

I am sending prayers from Mississippi for everyone involved.

 

[trouts mom]

Originally Posted by Natalie_ca

I'm sorry

I would strongly suggest taking your son to a counsellor so that he can get some counselling to deal with his grief in a proper manner instead of bottling it up inside.

It might be necessary to have him put on anti-depressants for a period of time if his depression is only situational, meaning brought on by a circumstance and not an actual chemical imbalance in his brain that requires forever type treatment.

I agree with Linda. Counselling certainly wouldn't hurt, and this may affect him in the long term if he doesn't have the proper safe outlet to let out his emotions. Lets be honest, teens don't generally like sharing with their parents right? I know I didn't.

I am sorry about this, how awful for that friend of theirs and the family. I hope your kids are okay

Sending prayers.

 

[kluchetta]

Aw thanks for the well wishes, vibes & advice! My son has an ongoing appointment on Mondays with a therapist, so that's in place. He was with friends for quite some time tonight, and there were both girls and boys there which I think is good because I think the girls can verbalize better, and even if the boys can't verbalize it, they can say, "yeah. That's what I feel too." Oh. He's also a musician, so I'll send him down to the drumset or the piano - see if he wants to do that. (I used to play the BEST piano after I had a fight with my dad!)

My daughter was with another friend, and they took it harder initially but I think their crying for "three hours" as she said probably helped a lot. They're putting up MySpace memorials and such, so that's probably healthy.

Thanks again, everyone, the poor parents - keep them in your prayers.

 

[fwan]

How terrible

*sending lots of vibes to your family*

I remember when one of my friends passed away when i was 10, it was devestating for me, i was so attached to him! I didnt get councelling, but somehow i got used to the fact that i would never see him again.

He died because his dog bit his neck and ate his ear. He was playing with the dog, and it just went agressive, he layed in the backyard, his mother is deaf and she couldnt hear him scream. I dont know what else happened but it was all over the newspapers in Australia, i cut his picture out, he was on the front page and framed it.

In April it will be 10 years that he is gone, I do think about him still, I wonder what he would have turned out to be like.
I dont have his picture anymore, my mother was really drunk one night and decided to take the picture out and burn it, she broke the frame and threw it away. I really dont know why she did that, although i dont have his pictures anymore he is still in my head and sharing the good times.

I am glad youre there for your children, the pain is hard but with time everything heals