Ian's family is driving me NUTS!!!! This is perhaps my problem, but this is where you guys come in!
So here's the lengthy back story:
The cast of characters is Ian's family. His family is quite small: he has a dad, who moved out and divorced his mom when Ian was 7, he has a live-in Grandpa, he has an aunt and uncle and 2 cousins in the are who never seem to be around or care what's going on, and he has a grandma and uncle that live in Brooklyn. And his younger brother.
When Ian was about 10, Ian's mom was diagnosed with kidney cancer. The family has no money, Ian's mom was a professional figure skater and had to quit skating because of the cancer, they're in debt because of the divorce, etc. So in order to get treatment, Melody enrolled in clinical trials. She had part of a kidney removed, the cancer eventually went into remission, Ian was responsibe for basically watching her at age 10...Dad tried to be involved financially, but they were estranged AND there wasn't much money, and Grandpa is clueless and deflects so wasn't much help.
Well, she got over the cancer. She stayed over it.
Then her kids started leaving the house. And the cancer started coming back.
Here's the issue: a lot of things really don't add up. No one has ever spoken to any of her doctors. No one knows who picks her up and takes her to treatment. She's never lost her hair during chemo and radiation. The cancer goes away and remerges basically whenever something in her life changes. She does like 2 rounds of chemo and is back to normal within weeks.
She's also an alcoholic.
Apparently, if you sit her down and ask for a doctor's name or a treatment plan or any paperwork, she freaks out and won't talk. And they've never been able to find any paperwork for these last couple re-emergences. She also lives basically alone...Grandpa sits in his little apartment attached to the house and doesn't really even check in on her. Dad is, of course, absent, and both kids are at school. And her brother is basically like Grandpa...absent and clueless. SO she's got no one taking care of her.
Now, is it just me, or is something terribly amiss here? Now, I realize that my family is sort of like the one on 7th Heaven, but without the whole minister thing, and so maybe I'm just an idealist where families are concerned, but so many things seem off.
So, my problems are thusly:
1) No one is demanding answers...no one seems to really care hard enough to force her to open up and therefore get all of the emotional help she needs (Ian even just admitted to me that they can't prove that she's actually a cancer patient). Someone needs to get the woman to talk.
2) I'm actually concerned that this could be more of a problem with the alcohol or even something like Munchausen's (that's where you think you're sick so much that you actually start to simulate physical symptoms). I think that she either needs to prove that she's got cancer and accept our help and care, or she needs to see a psychiatrist and accept our help and care.
3) They just don't seem to be able to rely on one another. It's sort of "every man for himself" in what's left of that family. It makes me really sad, coming from the family where we would all give each other the shirt off our backs, or more if that's what someone needed. Maybe this is how some families function, and maybe that's ok. I guess I was raised to see that as being horribly wrong. We've had her over for Christmas and Easter, because I really wanted her to know that she is more than welcome to be a part of the family and that we all love and accept her, and we would give her the shirts off our backs. Which is true.
So, don't get me wrong, I love these people, I think they're good people, but I think they just generally don't function like a family, and it could have (or be having) totally significant effects on Ian's mom.
WHat can I do and how should I do it? Seriously, guys, this is eating me up and I have no idea WHAT to do, but I know someone needs to do something! Is it just me? Do I have no business speaking up? Or am I obligted to?
So here's the lengthy back story:
The cast of characters is Ian's family. His family is quite small: he has a dad, who moved out and divorced his mom when Ian was 7, he has a live-in Grandpa, he has an aunt and uncle and 2 cousins in the are who never seem to be around or care what's going on, and he has a grandma and uncle that live in Brooklyn. And his younger brother.
When Ian was about 10, Ian's mom was diagnosed with kidney cancer. The family has no money, Ian's mom was a professional figure skater and had to quit skating because of the cancer, they're in debt because of the divorce, etc. So in order to get treatment, Melody enrolled in clinical trials. She had part of a kidney removed, the cancer eventually went into remission, Ian was responsibe for basically watching her at age 10...Dad tried to be involved financially, but they were estranged AND there wasn't much money, and Grandpa is clueless and deflects so wasn't much help.
Well, she got over the cancer. She stayed over it.
Then her kids started leaving the house. And the cancer started coming back.
Here's the issue: a lot of things really don't add up. No one has ever spoken to any of her doctors. No one knows who picks her up and takes her to treatment. She's never lost her hair during chemo and radiation. The cancer goes away and remerges basically whenever something in her life changes. She does like 2 rounds of chemo and is back to normal within weeks.
She's also an alcoholic.
Apparently, if you sit her down and ask for a doctor's name or a treatment plan or any paperwork, she freaks out and won't talk. And they've never been able to find any paperwork for these last couple re-emergences. She also lives basically alone...Grandpa sits in his little apartment attached to the house and doesn't really even check in on her. Dad is, of course, absent, and both kids are at school. And her brother is basically like Grandpa...absent and clueless. SO she's got no one taking care of her.
Now, is it just me, or is something terribly amiss here? Now, I realize that my family is sort of like the one on 7th Heaven, but without the whole minister thing, and so maybe I'm just an idealist where families are concerned, but so many things seem off.
So, my problems are thusly:
1) No one is demanding answers...no one seems to really care hard enough to force her to open up and therefore get all of the emotional help she needs (Ian even just admitted to me that they can't prove that she's actually a cancer patient). Someone needs to get the woman to talk.
2) I'm actually concerned that this could be more of a problem with the alcohol or even something like Munchausen's (that's where you think you're sick so much that you actually start to simulate physical symptoms). I think that she either needs to prove that she's got cancer and accept our help and care, or she needs to see a psychiatrist and accept our help and care.
3) They just don't seem to be able to rely on one another. It's sort of "every man for himself" in what's left of that family. It makes me really sad, coming from the family where we would all give each other the shirt off our backs, or more if that's what someone needed. Maybe this is how some families function, and maybe that's ok. I guess I was raised to see that as being horribly wrong. We've had her over for Christmas and Easter, because I really wanted her to know that she is more than welcome to be a part of the family and that we all love and accept her, and we would give her the shirts off our backs. Which is true.
So, don't get me wrong, I love these people, I think they're good people, but I think they just generally don't function like a family, and it could have (or be having) totally significant effects on Ian's mom.
WHat can I do and how should I do it? Seriously, guys, this is eating me up and I have no idea WHAT to do, but I know someone needs to do something! Is it just me? Do I have no business speaking up? Or am I obligted to?