A long story with a difficult moral.

[duchess15]

Carol,

I would never wish anything on anyone no matter how much they may deserve it, however, I can't see where I would miss her either. I don't see any reason why you should be sad. I feel for your uncle, but maybe once he has had some time, he can see how much his family really cares and that he can still recover what was once lost.

 

[lunasmom]

I would personally be saying an extra "Thank you" prayer.

Maybe your father "helped" with that situation

 

[carolpetunia]

I'm really surprised that so many of you have taken time to read all that -- you're all troupers!

One person did PM me to ask what I meant by a "difficult moral," and I thought I should post my reply to her here, too:

Moral [I wrote] may not be the right word. It was late, I was tired, and Clyde was asleep on my mouse hand.

I just meant that it's very hard for me to accept not only that I don't regret her departure, but also that, upon deep reflection, I can't entirely hate myself for feeling that way.

So maybe one of my most deeply-held principles -- that each of us should hold every life ultimately sacred -- isn't quite true, see.

I'm still having trouble with wording this. I just feel wrong to feel what I feel, or to not feel what I feel I ought to feel. Y'know?

So that's why this bothers me so much. Not because I ever wished her harm or took any joy in her passing -- I did not. It's just because I feel like even the worst of us deserve to be mourned at least a little, and I cannot mourn her. My Uncle Ray is the gentlest, most utterly innocent soul I know, and the thought that this woman actually beat that sweet, frail old man just erases my compassionate instincts. That's never happened to me before, and I guess it confuses me.

Thank you for your insights and stories and moral support... as always.

 

[carolpetunia]

Originally Posted by lunasmom

I would personally be saying an extra "Thank you" prayer.

Maybe your father "helped" with that situation

Oh gosh, I appreciate the thought, but -- no, that's not my father. To his very last day, Papa felt bad for every Japanese or North Korean or North Vietnamese death he was ever responsible for. If he had decided to do something about Rosemary, he probably would have chosen to send some suave gigolo to woo her away from Uncle Ray and then con her out of her savings.

 

[laureen227]

Originally Posted by CarolPetunia

It's just because I feel like even the worst of us deserve to be mourned at least a little, and I cannot mourn her.

while i understand your feelings, i also must point out - someone is mourning her... just not you.