A Brother For Fae

[oodlesofpoodles]

I posted this thread on another pet forum I belong to and have not recieved any feed back on this subject. I thought perhaps someone here might have some insight on what THEY would to. Thank you so much:

My aunt has two wonderful cats. Dinky (who was the runt of his litter when we brought him home, and became the BIGGEST cat i have ever seen since living w her. Not big as in fat...just all together HUGE) and Sebastian...a mild mannered shy little kitty. Dinky was a stray brought in to the vet hospital my sister worked in years and years ago. She brought him home but we were told we couldnt keep him (we still lived with parents). My aunt decided to take him. Sebastian is a rescue. He was terrorized as a kitten and my aunt took him in. Bc of the abuse so young he has some social issues.

Two years ago my aunt finally had a baby. Her first...and for the past year or so he has been a bit sick. It took months to find out he has terrible allergies...to eggs, soy......and cats. The last thing she wants to do is get rid of her cats, but Adrian (her son) can not be treated for his allergies. Despite how it breaks her heart she has to rehome the cats she has had for years. Even BEFORE her son was born.

As i mentioned earlier...Sebastian has some social issues. He is the most loveable cat ive known, but he hides from people. No one can go in to her house and touch him. He runs away...BUT for a LONG time he has let me walk right up to him and give him some love...AND the very first time he met Jeff he let jeff walk over and pet him (A first for Sebastian) so as you can see, he is unusally comfortable with us.

Jeff and i have been discussing getting a second cat on and off since we got fae back and got her back on her feet and all fixed up but we dont want to get a kitten until we have the money saved for it to have its first vets visits and be fixed. Since my aunt told me she has to find new homes for her cats ive thought Sebastian would do best with us. (im not as worried about Dinky because he is very social and sweet)

The thing is, i dont want to take Sebastian with out first really thinking it through. He has lived w a dominate cat his whole life, so i am not worried about how he will do with Fae, but fae has been an only child since kittenhood. Sebastian is fixed, and has had this years shots (im sure) and if not i dont doubt my aunt would get them for him before we take him. Moneywise we have plenty for daily needs and vaccines, annual vet visits...but not so much if something happens to him. (this is subject to change by January but who is to say one of the cats wont get sick BEFORE then)

We technically arent allowed to have cats but hide Fae well enough and Sebastian will hide himself. I really worry about him in a shelter and though that is the LAST thing my aunt wants to do, if she cant find a foster or adopter soon she might have no choice and with Sebastians social problems i worry he wont find a home, or that if he DOES he will stop eating and get sick due to the stress of being with people he doesnt even know. My aunt would love for us to take him so he is still in the family, and i truly love him and would love to adopt him. He would make a great brother for Fae and nice little love bug for me but i dont want to take him just to have to give him back if it doesnt work out. My aunt doesnt expect us to take him, there is no pressure from her but i WANT him...but more than i want him i want what is best for him AND Fae.

What would you do if you knew you had the room and the means to care for such an amazing cat who you already had an amazing connection to but didnt know for sure it was for the best? I know i could give him a great home, but it already IS Fae's home...so i have to think of her first.

P.S this is a pic of Sebastian:

 

[monaxlisa]

It sounds like the best thing to do would be to bring him home and see how it works out. It takes at least a week before cats adjust to eachother, it took my latest cat Ruby about a month.

 

[oodlesofpoodles]

Fae adjusted pretty well (after a week or so) to my dog Pandora when i lived with my sister, but I worry she will be more aggressive with a cat than a very large (though sweet) dog. it could go either way and if i keep him it is a chance i have to take.

Thank you.

 

[starjam]

I agree with MonaxLisa, take him for awhile and see what happens. I know you don't want to take him and if it doesn't work out, have to give him up, but you'll never know how it'll work out if you don't try. And if you don't try, you'll always wonder how it would have worked out.

 

[oodlesofpoodles]

I will have to ask my aunt to bring him down for a little while.

 

[calico2222]

What a sweet little face!

He has a little mustache just like my Jasper did. I hope it works out. It may take some time but it will be worth it. Good luck!

 

[oodlesofpoodles]

thank you calico2222 he is a very sweet boy. When he isn't in hiding he is so cuddley.

I just know my little Fae is both a princess AND a bully so i worry about her accepting him. I won't know until i try.

 

[skimble]

This may help with introductions http://www.thecatsite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=67321

They seem to do better if you go slowly with introductions. Each cat is different and will progress at their pace.

Have you considered bring bot Sebastian AND Dinky home with you?

It could work.

I wish you the best.

 

[bunnelina]

I think you're already committed to bringing him home, but my concern isn't your Fae, it's your landlord. If you aren't allowed to have cats, as you say, you're already in a risky situation.

Is there a way you could resolve that before you take on a second cat? Maybe ask your landlord if you could have permission to "get a cat" that you already know well and that has no troublesome issues? If your landlord says yes, you're home free, and chances are much better that two cats won't ever be an issue. If your landlord says no, then you might rethink cat #2. I mean, they have to go to the vet or sit in a window sometimes. You can't hide them 100% of the time.

Many cats are delighted to have a companion, so I hope it all works out!

 

[p&r]

I would bring him home and give it a try. It might not work well at the beginning but it can take anywhere up to 2 weeks for animals to "adjust" to one another and new surroundings/animals (sometimes longer). Good luck with the situation

 

[trouts mom]

Originally Posted by P&R

I would bring him home and give it a try. It might not work well at the beginning but it can take anywhere up to 2 weeks for animals to "adjust" to one another and new surroundings/animals (sometimes longer). Good luck with the situation

I would try it out too

 

[oodlesofpoodles]

Simble i don't want to take Dinky AND Sebastian because we already have one cat that we are not supposed to have. Plus i am pretty sure my mommom wants to take Dink. 3 cats in a 2 bed room apartment might become a bit much, but i dont see two being much of an issue.

Bunnelina we have thought about offering to pay $50 extra on our rent to keep Fae but when i went to him in tears and asked if we could please keep her he turned us away. We couldnt find anywhere for her, and we had to move ASAP from where i was living. He told us to take her to the ASPCA but she got sick and we decided to keep her regaurdless of what he wants...He says it is becuase he doesnt want OTHER tennents to have cats and dogs. (we know one other tennent has a male black indoor outdoor cat). This is actually my biggest concern with taking Sebastian...I know he and fae will adjust to eachother in time, but i worry about my Landlord. He doesnt live on premisis and Fae is allowed on windows on one side of the apartment where our neighbors cant see her. It isnt much but she doesnt have much interest in windows anyway. I keep going back and forth about the whole thing because on one hand i dont want to take him then be found out and have to give him back...but on the other if i am hiding one cat what is one more...It is frusterating because my heart is broken for my aunt and her cats. If i had my own place, or even a more pet friendly place i would take BOTH of her cats. Unfortunately when we moved we didnt have much time or much money saved and since my fiance and i are both young our credit wasnt good enough to get us an apartment in a pet friendly complex. Sometimes you have to take what you can and break a few rules to make your life fit together. I dont mind breaking the cat rule for Fae...but is taking Sebastian pushing it? *sigh* not allowing pets should be considered descrimination.


Also thank you to EVERYONE who has responded. I will let you know what happens once i figure it out.

 

[skimble]

Originally Posted by oodlesofpoodles

This is actually my biggest concern with taking Sebastian...I know he and fae will adjust to eachother in time, but i worry about my Landlord. He doesnt live on premisis and Fae is allowed on windows on one side of the apartment where our neighbors cant see her. It isnt much but she doesnt have much interest in windows anyway.

I understand what you are saying. If it is allowed by your landlord, you might consider putting a reflective covering on the glass part of your windows. They sell these at home improvement centers like Lowe's or Home Depot. The window covering is a reflective material that you can see out but others can't see in. You can tell the landlord that it will help "keep the heat in the house" or reflective to "keep the sun out".

http://www.lowes.com/lowes/lkn?actio...gy/WndFlm.html

Just an idea. Good luck to you with Fae and possibly Sebastian.

 

[bunnelina]

Originally Posted by oodlesofpoodles

Bunnelina we have thought about offering to pay $50 extra on our rent to keep Fae but when i went to him in tears and asked if we could please keep her he turned us away. We couldnt find anywhere for her, and we had to move ASAP from where i was living. He told us to take her to the ASPCA but she got sick and we decided to keep her regaurdless of what he wants...He says it is becuase he doesnt want OTHER tennents to have cats and dogs.

Ah, so it's more like a "don't-ask, don't-tell" policy? I suspect that your landlord knows you have Fae and is tolerating it. He knew you had a cat and were dying to keep her yet he didn't inspect your apartment after you moved in. But he doesn't want to officially cave and give all his other tenants excuses to have dogs, birds, cats, and ponies. You're probably paying your rent on time, being a model tenant, etc., so he's turning a blind eye and letting you get away with Fae.

If i'm reading the situation correctly — and I could be dead wrong — you can probably get away with Sebastian, too. I hope he's quiet and doesn't yowl like my male cat, who can be heard complaining at us from the window as we're walking down the street. To be on the safe side, and for your own peace of mind, try to find a friend or relative who could take them in a pinch, temporarily, if your landlord ever goes on the warpath. But he probably won't. He's just giving you the standard spiel and counting on you to lie low and keep Fae a secret. Good luck, and I hope you can move!

 

[oodlesofpoodles]

Skimble: That is a wonderful idea! thank you so much for the advice. He is letting us paint the apartment and if we can think of a good excuse will probably also let us do this...Do the covers come off? If so then i doubt it will be any problem at all and i wont have to worry about keeping two cats out of the windows!

Bunnelina: I know Sebastian does meow a bit when it is meal time. But he doesnt seem very loud to me. Fae meows at meal time too and the only time i worry about it is first thing in the morning because it is so quiet. My hubby to be also suspect that our landlord already knows, but we dont want to push it. My sister already agreed to take Fae for short spurts of time if the Landlord needs to come in to make repairs or just check up (he has to give us notice)

 

[oodlesofpoodles]

I just got off the phone with my Aunt. She can no longer keep the cats. She was going to take them to the humane socity this week but Luckly things came up. So the decision was basically made for me.

Sebastian will be coming to his new home next Saturday. I am excited, but also very sad. I can't take Dinky. After talking to my aunt i have found out that he has become more aggressive as he ages. I cant have an aggressive cat with Fae...she is already aggressive enough. The saving grace for her and Sebastian will be that Sebastian is submissive. And even so, we dont have the room in our apartment for three cats.

We are working hard to find a place for dink to go, even if only for long enough to find him a permanent home but so far no luck. Even all of the shelters in a 30 or more mile radius are full and have waiting lists. We dont know how to go about finding fosters. it is so sad and frusterating. I wish i could do more and feel so depressed that i cant.

 

[skimble]

I am so sorry your aunt is going through this with her cats. I know it must be hard on her and the cats.

Glad to hear you will be taking Sebastian.

There are some great tips on how to introduce them in the Behavior section "sticky" at the top of that section.

The window sheets do peel off. They are great to help keep heat in your house to conserve on energy, too. It works better if you have someone to help apply them. It takes one person to hold it up to the window and another to wet the sheet and smooth out any wrinkles. Very similar to the window tinting in cars.

The only thing I can think to suggest about trying to find a place for Dinky is to contact all vet offices both local and maybe up to 30 +/- miles away. Ask if they will allow you to post a notice about him needing a home. Print up something with a picture and information.

Also ask the vet offices if there is someone that rescues cats. Leave your name and number for any rescue people to call you back. Ask if they know of anyone that might foster or maybe they could help you in finding a home. Ask all the shelters about any rescue groups they know and do the same.

This takes some effort contacting places, but it may pay off. Maybe others will have some helpful ideas. Good luck to you and your aunt.

 

[oodlesofpoodles]

Thank you very much. My aunt did have both cats posted ro adoption through a pet adoption agency but it didnt pan out quickly enough. With all of the things going wrong in the economy it seems more and more pets are being dumped which is making shelters even MORE overcrowded. It is so sad. Thank you very much for the advice. The thing is, unless i can convince my brother or someone else i know to keep him for just a little while i dont know what is going to happen with him. I cant even keep Dink in the mean time. Hopefully it will all work out. I know my aunt is very happy and thankful we are taking Sebastian, but i feel so bad about Dink. When i thought i would have to get rid of fae i was heart broken...and i only raised her for a year. My aunt raised both of her cats from kittens too, and now Dinky is almost 8 years old.

Thank you again. and have a great weekend!