7 months in--update on introducing two cats

[mservant]

I am so happy the two of you got together Losna and hbunny, you have so much you can share with each other.   

    

Loving the thought Wurp could be telling you he's allergic to cats @hbunny  , that is very funny.  Given how you have described Wurp's character I can believe him doing that too.  

  

If only more cats were lucky enough to find homes with such patient humans willing to listen to what they are trying to tell them.   Your cats are very lucky indeed.

 

[hbunny]

Another update, another question!! @MServant    @Losna  

This weekend we let them out together all day Saturday, but put Shortstack in his room Saturday night at bedtime.  He absolutely threw a fit and tried climbing the baby gates, popping them all night, etc.  He has really discovered he likes being out all the time, especially since he has his furry buddy to follow around now.  So Sunday night we left them BOTH out.  We were sorta worried about how they would share the bed with us, but all went well.  I guess due to being anxious about it, I woke during the night several times to sit up and look at the foot of the bed, and both were stretched out next to each other (not yet touching) by my hubby's feet.  All was well in our little world!!

Last night we did it again.  We went to sleep with Shortstack up on the bed, as Wurp was doing his nightly patrols out the windows, etc.  I am sure Wurp joined us at one point or another because I felt one or the other hop up, and hop down, hop up off and on a few times during the night.  I think Wurp is a little butthurt about sharing us and his Serta with Stack, but, he has to get used to that.

But--here's the fun part (not)----at 4:30 this morning Shortstack decided he wanted to play!   The 18 pound cat flurrying his paws around on the bed, jumping on my leg and biting me through the quit, like a furry fury all over the bed.  He was absolutely playing, no bad intentions whatsoever, just playing like a kitten.  BAD case of the zoomies--at 4:30 am, in a 2 year old cat!  Wurp, being the cranky old geezer, had moved out into the hall onto a throw rug we keep there and was dozing out there.

Is this normal for a 2 year old to do the crazies/zoomies all over us in the bed?  I went ahead & got up, I mean I only had about 20 minutes left of sleep before my alarm went off anyway, and he was in such a good mood and wanted his breakfast when I went to get coffee.  He seemed so happy and pleased with himself.  We can deal with it (as long as he doesn't bite our heads lol), but is this commonplace in one that is no longer a kitten???  An 18 pounder is a major eye-opener when he grabs your leg through the covers and latches on and bites!  Luckily our quilt is thick, he didn't hurt us, just play, but wow.  What a way to wake up.

Wurp was, of course, his cranky self.  He proceeded to go through 3 different cat foods before deciding what he wanted for breakfast.   Shortstack thought he was at a grand buffet, he had some of each.

 

[hbunny]

And, another pic to go with the update.  We're gonna need a bigger bed. They both love our bed, and they are big boys!

IMG_0936.JPG

• hbunny
• Sep 6, 2016

 

[losna]

Many cats can't seem to resist pouncing feet that move beneath the covers. You just respond to it the same way you would if he bit too hard during play - tell him Too Rough! And move him away from your feet.

Sinbad wakes us up every morning at 5. My husband gets up and goes down to exercise while I go back to sleep. Sinbad keeps him company then returns at precisely 5:36 to wake me up for breakfast. He's a little stickler for a schedule.

 

[hbunny]

@Losna   Thanks!  If he does his playtime early tomorrow morning, he is going to get his no-no too rough! and put in the floor!  He knows when I say "OWWWW" loudly and put him in the floor from my lap, so I may try doing that.

He is so funny.  It's like even though he is 2 years old, he has just learned to play.  I remember us trying to get him to play when we first brought him inside, and he was scared of the toys.  He wants to play 24/7 now!

Losna, do your cats have "differences" often?  Since Saturday, Wurp has popped Shortstack once, pretty hard, but no claws.  Stack jumped on the couch where Wurp was sleeping (and Wurp is deaf) and scared him.  He popped him hard.  No claws, just WHAP upside his head.  Is that normal between cats that live together, or do you think that it is just that Wurp is deaf and easily startled?

 

[losna]

They squabble all the time. Sinbad and Bêlit usually have at least one slap fight a day. Bêlit sometimes gets tired of Sinbad licking her bum and Sinbad sometimes doesn't want to be cuddled while he's napping. And sometimes they both want my lap. So they wind up rolling around slapping and gnawing each other.

 

[hbunny]

Losna, thanks, that makes me feel so much better!  

I know that slaps, yowls, sometimes growls are all just part of how they communicate, but wow, sometimes it seems a bit harsh.

Shortstack never seems to act afraid or in fear of Wurp at all after these reprimand-type slaps, he just goes about his business like nothing happened, sometimes he pouts a bit, but that's all.

Wurp usually just lies back down and goes back to sleep after he slaps him, it's like he has slapped him, it's over, time to nap again.

I guess a slap just isn't the same at all in the cat world, must not be nearly as offensive as in ours!

 

[losna]

Yeah, I call them bitchslaps. 

Worried me for a while, and I had to force myself not to intervene. But if I let them finish out, they get over it almost immediately. 

 

[hbunny]

  Not sure if you've seen "Full Metal Jacket".....but Wurp is exactly like R. Lee Ermey's character Gunnery Sgt. Hartman.  EXACTLY.  He even showed Shortstack how to climb over an obstacle--two baby gates stacked like it was nothing, for an old geezer, he scaled it like a pro...the huffed past Stack like he was Private Pyle.

 

[mservant]

 

  Not sure if you've seen "Full Metal Jacket".....but Wurp is exactly like R. Lee Ermey's character Gunnery Sgt. Hartman.  EXACTLY.  He even showed Shortstack how to climb over an obstacle--two baby gates stacked like it was nothing, for an old geezer, he scaled it like a pro...the huffed past Stack like he was Private Pyle.

  

  Way to go Wurp.  

    Clearly showing this young interloper that he's still got 'it'.  

All this talk of slaps and naps and huffs reminds me of my 'girls' and how they'd work through the full range of emotions each day.  Just like kids I guess.  

   Sounds like everyone is doing great, and starting to be able to relax a little is a great place to be.

As for cats that are supposed to be more mature.....  lets just say I was tormented and tortured enough to get me out of bed around 8-30 am today (and that is early for me).  Mouse is usually pretty good at laying in until I show signs of life but occasionally he decides that life is too exciting and can't wait. Today was one of those days.  We are talking super fast circuits of my room which involved bouncing off the foot end of the bed, our the door in to the hallway (so as to get a better and faster run up) back in to the bedroom and bouncing up on the the chest of drawers which give the best launch pad on to the head end of my bed - quick run over my head or body and back round the circuit again...  He is far too good at landing his pounces on my bladder for it to be mere chance:  I swear all cats are taught how to locate human bladders by their cat parents at birth.  

 

  Given Mouse will be 6 in February he should know better than to get his human out of bed by now, but all that's happened is he's refined the art of acting super cute once I'm up so I can't stay grumpy with him.  

 

  

 

 

[hbunny]

Well, the peaceful cohabitation came to an end last night.  There was a full-blown tussle.  We have no idea what it was over.  Wurp was feeling unusually frisky last night, chasing ghost mice up and down the hall and through the house, and all of a sudden he went into the kitchen where Shortstack was eating, started staring at him, and Shortstack backed up and cowered under the dining room table.  Wurp yowled that high-pitched screech, and jumped on him.  They immediately turned into a gigantic rolling ball of fur and claws that went into the cat food and water fountain, cat food flew into 3 rooms of the house, and it ended when hubby tried to stick his foot in between them.  We stood there for about 3 seconds watching then realized it was going to get really ugly, so it was time to stop it.

When he tried to put his leg and foot in between them was when they rolled into the water fountain, and the water hitting them ended it--water went everywhere and all over both of them.  It was just enough to shock them back into reality for a minute.  Hubby corralled Wurp, I got Shortstack and took him to his "safe" room to inspect him.  He had a spot of blood next to his nose up in his whisker area, and a big scratch across his nose diagonally--no blood there, but the short tiny fur was raised up in a line.

Wurp, of course, came out with no scratches or anything.  And proceeded to strut the house acting like yeah, I whooped him, I'm still a badass.

It just amazes me.  After all their day of napping together, eating together, etc. then boom!  We left Stack in "his" room all night with the baby gates up because he was very shaken and I wanted him to be able to relax without being in fear for a while, and let Wurp cool down.  This morning Wurp was sitting outside Stack's baby gates howling for him, just like nothing ever happened.

Hubby is working from home today, and is going to let Stack out and let them together again.  I have a feeling they will act like nothing happened, but Wurp's attack has kind of made me worry again.  It is just unreal, Stack is easily 4-5 pounds heavier than Wurp, ten years younger, and Wurp can absolutely terrorize him and whip his butt. 

 

[mservant]

I'm sure you're right in thinking they will be let loose and act like nothing has happened.  

     That is a good thing though: some cats will fight seriously when they see each other and it keeps carrying on and they don't trust each other.  From how you describe this spat it sounds more like Wurp was super excitable and any movement was likely to trigger him.  Shortstack was probably in the wrong place and the wrong time.  

Still feel like you are doing the right thing with them, letting them share their space and work things out, and if something more serious happens being there to intervene.   One thing to remember is that cats are much more likely to be awake and active when you are around, and to sleep and laze around when you're not.   That makes it more likely that serious spats happen when you are there to intervene.

 

[hbunny]

Well, I just got home and they are out together acting like business as usual, other than poor Shortstack is being very cautious walking past Wurp. They ate treats together as usual, everything as routine!! I guess my biggest fear is one getting seriously hurt. That was over 30 pounds of rolling furry thunder in my dining room, wow!

 

[hbunny]

Later on last night I noticed something else about Wurp's behavior.  Around 9:30 he got really REALLY frisky and aggressive, he was wanting me to chase him through the house (something we used to do all the time, I'd chase him, then he'd chase me) and I was trying to avoid it because I was afraid he would get stirred up again.  After thinking about it we discussed it and realized that is his up and active time of the day. Should we put Shorstack back up during this time?  Stack was really apprehensive all night and always kept a tab on where Wurp was.  Only once he stretched out in the floor and snored, and he had a direct view of where Wurp was sleeping on the rug at the end of the hall.

He had been glaring at Shortstack piled up in hubby's lap earlier, so I picked him up and flipped him over in my lap (like in my avatar picture) and gave him belly rubs.  That always calms him down, I even do it at the vet's office waiting.  He purred and purred, but turned his head so he could watch Stack in hubby's lap.  He never took his eyes off him.  But after his belly rubs he went to the end of the hall and slept, then Stack felt comfortable enough to get out of hubby's lap and get in the floor--still where he had direct view and path of Wurp, I guess he was just watching his back.

Do cats get jealous?  I've had jealous dogs, but never jealous cats...I didn't think they were that jealous.  Could this be precipitating some of it?  I am just at the point of not knowing if anything I'm doing is right anymore! Do I need to give Wurp more attention, even though he is being a butthead?  Or would it reinforce his behaviors?  Am I making him feel neglected?  Jeez, I am having a meltdown today questioning myself.  Wurp is also not eating hardly at all, unless we feed him alone somewhere sequestered away from Shortstack.  I'm sinking here!   

 

[mservant]

I usually figure that giving more attention at high risk times but before the unwanted behaviour has happened is the best way to minimize / avoid things like spats.   Also, Shortstack will hopefully learn quickly what times it is best to avoid Wurp.

It is worth thinking about giving each of them their own play time at the time of day they are most active (hopefully not the same), and also being concious about both getting their lap time so you don't inadvertantly set up favouritism / increase any dominance issues.

Whether it is jealousy or not I don't know, but cats do seem to take issue with having to share their favoured humans just as they do their favoured dens and comfy spots.  With my previous sister pair it was boss-cat got the closest position to me on the bed:  I always thought one preferred my feet and the other my hips but as soon as there was only one and it was the one who had been at my feet for years, she moved straight up to my hips and even pillow as soon as she was sure her sister wasn't going to come back and bop her on the head.  

 

[losna]

Yeah they can be jealous. Sinbad and Bêlit squabble over my lap all the time. In fact when Sinbad is particularly annoyed with her, he'll just sit and prevent her from getting near me at all.

 

[hbunny]

Well, to update again, at least between my observations and all of your wonderful insights, I have figured out Wurp is truly jealous--or territorial, either way--about us.  At least when he WANTS to be sitting with us.  The other evening my hubby came home from work and went to sit down, Wurp approached him and was obviously considering jumping up into his lap, and Shortstack (of course being the big ole doofus he is) went running over to see him as well.  I thought Wurp was going to tear into him right then and there.  He saw him getting closer to his daddy and out came one of his horrendous loud screeches, he postured up, and Shortstack instantly huddled into a ball.  Hubby picked up Wurp and all was well again in the world of Wurp.  He had to brush him a little while to get him to stop glaring at Shortstack, but he finally settled down.  I took Stack into the kitchen and gave him a snack so he was happy too.

I really wonder if it is just still the two of them setting boundaries as to what is mine, what is yours, and when to back off.  Within 30 minutes of this episode they acted like nothing ever happened.  Last night they were on Stack's cat tree together--on different levels of it, but still on there at the same time.  That was a first.  It's like Wurp is tolerating him more and more, slowly, as the days go by.  But there are certain things, times, that Wurp clearly makes it obvious that he is first in line for things. 

There have been lots of nose-touching, as they pass one another in the house, but still no BFF type activity.

 

[mservant]

Nose-touching sounds like pretty BBF man cat behaviour to me.  

How you both noticed what was going on there when your hubby came home, and how you handled it sounds like it was spot on for your guys. I have every hope your home is going to be settled place where you can all relax very soon.   Wurp is coping really well with this new house-mate, esp given how easy it would be for Shortstack to sneak up on him and try to take over.   (Emphasis on try there)! 

 

[hbunny]

Haha! Yes, Wurp has the advantage of experience in scrapping. When Wurp lived outdoors he kept our property clear of other cats. We never had strays or ferals. We noticed it immediately after he came inside to live, they started showing up.

I feel we are at the "tolerate" state right now. Both accept the other lives here, but still doing the "getting to know you better" routine. I'm highly concerned since we are planning an 8 day trip soon, and struggling to find a cat sitter/house sitter that would be intuitive enough to handle them. I won't board them since every boarding facility near us is terrible. And our vet--poor Wurp did horrible the last time he was boarded there, he lost 3 pounds in a week. It's pitiful we cant take a vacation because we worry about our babies!!

 

[aislinn]

Would it be feasible to keep them separated while you're away? That might give you peace of mind. I too worry about traveling, but my two are still separated. The hissing under the door tells me it's far too soon to introduce them. I worry that a cat-sitter might forget to close a door, and don't even want to imagine the outcome. It sounds like you're on the right track, but probably not comfortable leaving them to their own devices for 8 days.