May 15th, 3 years ago, I held Simon as the vet put him down, he had stomach cancer and there was nothing that could be done, it was too late. 3 years yet I still have that awful feeling, can remember the whole thing like it just happened 3 hours ago. I remember how unusually hot it was that night, how I slept for a bit then woke up in a panic attack, had to go outside at 2:00 in the morning but couldn't get away from it, remember how for quite awhile I couldn't be in the dark after that, how it freaked me out as did being enclosed in the shower. It's funny how strangely grief and stress can come out in you, but with time it passed, just feeling it today as I know what day this is. But the plant that we planted back then in his memory is so full and beautiful, and I know he is happy and just fine. And he is happy that we took in Sylvester who looks like him and Sebastian mixed together; I scooped him up tonight and said "I need a Sylvester hug", he immediately started purring and I held him up towards a picture of Simon and said "do you know this guy? I think he's in here somewhere", and told Deb "I feel like I am holding all three at the same time".
He is fine and I am too, it just hits home on THE day, the memories never fade, he was such a great, fun loving tuxedo but he is fine now, no more pain.
He is fine and I am too, it just hits home on THE day, the memories never fade, he was such a great, fun loving tuxedo but he is fine now, no more pain.