3 orphaned strays(photos) - time to say goodbye? Seeking advice

[djoe]

Yea indeed some peiple might find it weird to have a home visit. Though she is not in her home, she is in a shared student studio which makes me wonder even more if cynthia is a temporary wish.

But im any case I will not follow up. If she is sincerely interested she would at least send me a free msg on whatsapp herself now that she has my number.

 

[paulinehurt]

Hi djoe,

First, I want to thank you for rescuing such a beautiful bunch of kittens! You truly have a tender heart and soul for doing such a wonderful thing! Secondly, I have to 'think out loud' with you when I say that your existing cat does not look that sad and you have to realize that she has had a good, if not great, long life already and I must add that I have a similar situation. I have 2 cats that are almost ten years old and did not like it as I gradually adopted 3 more kittens through recent years. However, they got over it and they do not always get along, but there are definitely more good times than bad. Thirdly, I think those kittens might end up even more messed up if they try to carry on without you. I am not trying to be hurtful here, just honest. You are seen by them as their mother and I think it would be best if you kept them, or at least had someone care for them that are close friends, family, etc. or someone who will allow you to visit them. Ultimately, any home is better for them than out on their own, in the wild, where they most likely will not make it. All of the above advice is admirable and you obviously will do what you think is best. I do not think it would be selfish of you at all to keep them considering they do need you, otherwise they would not have made it as far as they have without you since they were all sick or hurt at one point. Now I have to ask you; after all you have done for them and all you have been through together, what will you do without them?

Cheers,

Pauline

 

[djoe]

Hi Pauline. Thank you for for sharing your view.
I must confess. The first reaction I had when I got the word that someone is interested in Cynthia, I cried like a 5 years old.

Don't ask me what will I do without them. I can't go there.


My lifestyle is not pet-friendly. I am temporarily staying with my parents and I will soon be travelling. My kind of work has zero stability and constant travelling and I wont always be living in regular apartments. I might end up in a one room housing. And I might be on mission to countries with zero vet services.
Won't I be harming them?!


I am secretly checking in travel arrangements for cats because I wouldn't take risk if travelling with cats in cargo!! But I am not sure how healthy this will be for them.

 

[kittychick]

I understand what tulosai is saying - and don't disagree - but don't think you did anything out of line. Every single person that's ever adopted through me (when I wasn't fostering for a specific shelter) has ended up asking if I wanted to see where the kitten was going to live. Yes, it's possible you "scared her off" but my guess is more that she was unsure and just changed her mind. Probably 25% of the people who call me that swear they want to adopt the kitten they're calling about - and many go so far as to set up appointments to come meet them - never call back/show. Unfortunately - I just think people get excited at the idea of getting a kitten, then it gets "real' and they back out. 

Another issue to me is that you - as a single woman - probably shouldn't be going to a strange place alone to see where Cynthia is going anyway - it's not a very safe idea! What I like to do is have a nice, friendly short initial talk, then explain that I like them to come meet the kitten so they can see if they like each other (after all - Cynthia has to be sure too!). Then I always make sure someone else is here when they come (I'm married, so that's usually easy, but when I was single, I always had a friend here when the potential adopter came over). I also always have a sheet ready for them to fill out - not as rigorous as alot of people (I try to walk the line between frightening people off and making sure I'm doing my due diligence in turning this precious life over to a stranger!). I'd be happy to pass my sheet along (we can figure out how through PM can't we?)  if you'd like!

And think I told you I got your PM and passed all info along to my friend from Lebanon. The kittens are on her facebook and she's contacting friends over there. Nothing yet - but she's trying! I'll keep you updated!

Just keep trying....I can't remember - I know you don't have alot of resources there like shelters, etc. - but did you put flyers up in vets, etc.? Even grocery stores, etc.? Although I think you'd need to specificy that there's a small adoption fee to cover all of the veterinary bills you've undertaken to make sure she's (they're) healthy and "good to go"! Here in the US that helps weed out the nutjobs like people who use free animals as bait for dogfighting. 

PLEASE keep us posted - I've gotten so invested in your story and want this to end well for all!

 

[djoe]

I did put a flyer at the vet's and his staff all took the ads and photos on their facebook. with the amount of effort put now, I think that whoever "is meant" to have them will eventually come through.  And I am not so surprised there is not much demand... it is not really a cat culture over here.

The shelter that put the adoption announcement has a 40$ fee that adopters pay them. As for me, I certainly have payed sooooo much more than that (I pay that per week for food only), but I am not looking into getting a single penny back. But I understand that putting a fee is good to avoid those who are looking for "free animals". 

Ok, so now I know better how to deal with whoever shows interest.... I guess a staged approach is better than a full honesty one like I ve done. 

Purrs to all from the little rascals:

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• djoe
• Oct 22, 2013

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• djoe
• Oct 22, 2013

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• djoe
• Oct 22, 2013

 

[tulosai]

I didn't mean it was 'out of line' to ask to see where Cynthia was going.  We all have to make our own choices, as fosters, about what we 'need' to know the kitten is going to the right place.  I just think it is not really that useful to ask to come over to someone else's house, relative to how onerous (and potentially unsafe) it is for both people.  Someone could have a huge immaculate house and be totally neglectful or even abusive as a cat parent. Conversely, someone could have a mess of a house (I don't mean hoarder level or literally covered in dirt but quite messy) and end up being a totally loving, attentive cat parent as long as they 'kitten-proofed' well enough).  As a foster, I don't think or worry at all about where people take the kitten assuming I've met them ,they are good with the kitten, and they answered all the shelter questions to my (and the shelter's) satisfaction.  Further, if I were adopting, and someone asked to see my place (especially if it were as a prerequisite to meeting the kitten/cat) I would definitely find another cat instead and  think all of the following (in no order) and I am 10 out of 10 a cat person.

1. What a pain in the a**.  I work full time, am going to need to make time to go see the kitten and then to later pick up the kitten, and now I also need to make time for a home visit? You might say, if someone is really serious, they will make time for a home visit.  But this is someone who hasn't met this cat and has no attachment to this cat.  As a huge cat person, I know there are 250 cats at the shelter I volunteer at, all of whom need homes and none of whom require a home visit.  I would be thinking, you know what, why not go there instead.

2.  Why does this person want/ need to see my house? How weird/ potentially creepy/potentially unsafe.  I am a woman living alone.  I also am a person who considers my home as relatively private. There is not anything I am ashamed there, and I honestly believe it's a good environment for me, cats, kids, whatever. I host dinners with friends regularly and my apartment is fine. Doesn't mean I want a stranger I've never met with a cat I've never met in there.

3.  What if I do this and don't even like the cat? What a waste of time!

For those reasons, if you do want a home visit/can't be comfortable without one, I'd suggest making the visit after they get to meet the cat.  I would definitely mention the visit, if you are determined to have one, though, before they trek to your place to meet the cat, to avoid misunderstandings, anger, and disappointment on both ends.

 

[djoe]

Thanks,

I will have a better approach next time someone shows interest. 

It seems that it is going to be impossible to consider the travel option (Take them with me wherever I go).  I heard back from my travel agent today.. Different airlines have different policies on carry on, 2 months quarantine might be a must in some countries, not all airlines allow pets... and so on... Maybe I should start a separate thread to hear out from folks on their experience with international travelling with cats? 

 

[sonadora]

 
Maybe I should start a separate thread to hear out from folks on their experience with international travelling with cats? 

I think this is a fantastic idea!

I think, in a perfect world, your furbabies should simply follow you wherever you go. We would do the same with human companions, right? You have obviously invested so much love into them, and I know for a fact that wherever they go, as long as you are there to guide them, they will have full, happy lives. I hope so much your situation improves and that they find happy forever homes (either with you or another loving family!)

Please please please keep us posted!

So much love and good thoughts headed your way!

 

[djoe]

thanks Sonadora! Very sweet of you.

Indeed in an ideal world, I would want them to go along anywhere I go. Ultimately, I would want them to have what is best for them, and a loving happy home.

I shall start the thread and see if it qill be possible to pursue that option.
In the meantime, I I continue to look for loving homes to care for them.

Whoever will have them will be lucky; they are so loving and sweet.

 

[djoe]

Hi guys
So ive been doimg lots of research to find out more about my tabbybabies. I think they have Egyptian Mau genes in them... and perhaps I am doubting some arabian cat genes but that I can only confirm if I would know if they had a double coat. I have no idea.

I was wondering if this is useful information to mention in the adoption announcements?

 

[kittychick]

That's a very interesting question! I remember reading a wacky book about a woman who did a lot of fostering & when she went to help the shelter find them homes, she'd make flyers & she found that the flyers that made it sound as if they were some exotic breed almost always stirred a lot if interest. Now she did it in a fun way -making up breeds like "Exotic Streetwise Shorthairs" - which cracked me up! My instinct tho is to watch how much you make it sound like you're sure they are a specific breed -but who knows -it just might work!!!

 

[djoe]

Indeed... my dad was aakomg if there was any progress on adoption. He too is now worried they will be devastated when I leave.

He said, they are no breed. Nobody will want them...

It breaks my heart!!!

 

[kittychick]

Don't think that because they're no particular breed that no one will want them. I've fostered over 100 cats/kittens and only 1 was a specific breed - and yet every single one went to a very loving home. There are people out there who don't care that a cat is a breed. Hopefully you'll hear from some of those kind people! 

 

[kittychick]

And meant to note that I think starting the thread about international travel is a great idea - there have to be people out there who could help you out with ideas! I know at this point both you and all of them would be thrilled if you can all stay together!!! 

 

[djoe]

I did start that thread. But no breakthrough. In fact more of an advice against traveling together.

I think the posters will speed things up...

will it be painful for them to be separated from one another?

 

[djoe]

I took the lil ones today for a booster and general check up.

They are doing great. The lady who works there in love with them but she already have 4 cats at home.

She promised to help!

Gebran is 1.98 kg
Qays is 1.96 kg
Cynthia is 1.76 kg

They were very well behaved at the pet's - unlike Lucy! - so theu fot double treats and they got to ride free in the car on the way back.

The vet agreed that they mifht have egyptian mau genes in them but he think they are "european shorthair"
He also saidnthat they have very nice characters.

Whoever will have them will be very lucky.