2 weeks into intro

[sherilynnc]

I had posted before about us taking in a stray female who is anywhere from 2-5 years old, according to the vet. We did all the things suggested in an introduction and things seemed to be going well. Today, I left the kitties alone for the first time while I fixed dinner. All of a sudden, there was hissing and kitty screaming downstairs. I noticed after all the commotion, resident cat 3 yr old male, had a scratch on his nose. Not sure if he did something deserving or what since I was not around to witness. Do we go back to putting her in her room and start this intro all over or chalk it up to a one time thing, unless it happens again, and let things remain as they are? I am saddened by what seems like a huge step backwards.

 

[sherilynnc]

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• sherilynnc
• Dec 13, 2016

Poor baby with his hurt nose. His new sister is a tough girl.

 

[moorspede]

Ouch. Please don't despair, it is still early days yet.

How are they reacting to each other now? If one is still really aggressive toward the other you may have to isolate them again but really, cat introductions are often two steps forward one step back. 

Try not to leave them alone together for awhile longer and see how things go.

If you see one about to pounce clap your hands, speak sternly to them (it works for me) or hiss at them as if you were a cat. 

If they are in the middle of a fight never pull them apart, throw something light at them or do the above. 

I used to put them in time out from each other for awhile when something like this happened. 

 

[sherilynnc]

Thank you so much for your reply. My husband and I work during the day and my son is in HS so we are gone all day. We leave new kitty in the downstairs and keep our other kitty upstairs. I do my best to watch them at all times they are together but that one time you turn your back, they are like human kids and have those little spats. We also keep them this way while we are sleeping too. Last night, I was in the room with them the entire time they were together. There was again growling when our resident cat would met too close. I will say, resident cat probably brought on whatever led to the scratch on the nose because he wants to be with her so badly. He is fascinated by her and whines like a baby when he can't see her. I think he probably got too close and she felt trapped. I've told him to keep a distance but he isn't listening to my advice. [emoji]128539[/emoji] Even after the scratched nose, he immediately went back for more trying to be next to her. I'm not giving up and will hang in there but these two are definitely not behaving like I had thought they would. I thought resident cat would be the one with the issue having a new cat come into his territory. I thought she would be mellow and laid back because she is such a sweet natures kitty. Boy was I wrong! Anyway, I had thought when taking her in I'd have two cuddly little friends who napped together and played together. Now, I'm praying to have two kitties who can at some point tolerate each other enough to live in the same house without having to keep them apart. Can't we all just get along? I've had my dogs for 15 and 13 years. Resident cat is 3 so kitty parenting is pretty new to me. I thought adding another cat would be a piece of cake. You just bring them home and they learn to love each other. Hahaha, should have done more research.

 

[highpriestess]

You would be amazed at the territorial behaviour cats can demonstrate.  My mother took in two strays but a few years apart.  Jasper (the second stray), is a black cat and extremely nonchalant.  Mickey, the first stray was very "jealous" if I can apply that logic haha!  Mickey would eat anything when he took up residency but my mother made the grave mistake of caving in to his whims eventually.  She has tried so many brands and flavours whereas I will (within reason), not spoil an animal's taste buds with a bombardment of deluxe cuisine 

It so happened that the two Toms now get along well.  They will never be best buddies but they have learned to live successfully together.  They tend to sort it all out amongst themselves but maybe segregation isn't the answer.  Buy some of those Pepperami-type cat sticks and get them both to feed from each hand at the same time.  If it truly doesn't settle down then you may have to re-home one as sad as it all is.

 

[sherilynnc]

I can't even imagine re-homing. I love them both sooo much! Isn't it really early in this whole process of adding a new addition? I admit I am really new to this and wonder if it's not them and maybe I am not doing something right. I did the steps to introduction but maybe I rushed through them? I had kept her in her safe room but she had gotten to the place she would jump the gate quickly when I opened the door and she wanted to be out. It didn't make much sense to me to keep her in a safe room when she was dying to get out. She's so good with my two toy poodles. I really believe they just let her be and she's good with that. However, my kitty just can't let her be and wants to play and she just isn't ready. [emoji]128532[/emoji] Feeling really sad about it but not willing to give up on her.

 

[moorspede]

Your resident cat is fascinated, that's very encouraging. Your new cat isn't feeling confident around your cat. It takes time and patience. Cats can pick up on stress and honestly if your resident cat is not showing fear or aggression everything is fine. Just have them play with you with an interactive toy, feed them together and let them associate being together with pleasurable activities. It can take months for the to be completely relaxed around each other.

 

[sherilynnc]

Thank you for your response. She has already stolen my heart and I can't imagine giving up on her being a part of our family. I do have another question. When she was a cold and hungry stray hanging out in my mom's yard, she would let me hold her for longer periods of time and since we've brought her home she isn't as cuddly. She still has no objections at all at being picked up and begs for rubs but seems to want to get down sooner. Is this another part of her just settling in and getting used to being turned into an inside cat so quickly. We don't allow her to go out at all for fear she may run away. However, maybe she has a little bit of resentment towards me for taking her from what she knew and was comfortable with, living as a stray. Any ideas or thoughts on that? I'm so glad I found this site because I want people with experience to be able to help me make this as positive and easy on her as possible. I can't thank those of you who have responded enough! Your help is greatly appreciated.

 

[highpriestess]

This is not unusual behaviour.  Often, we humanoids credit cats with very little logic and intelligence but my late father was working in his shed one day back in the early '90s when "Buster" tipped up unannounced.  He wasn't by any means a waif to put it politely (lol), but he was all over Dad like a rash!

He was basically draping himself all over Dad's shoulders - exceptionally tactile.  At this time, my mother had adopted my two [queens] to spare them quarantine when we were drafted over to Germany so Mum said a firm no!  But this cat kept on coming back and so eventually my mother relented and moved in this cat whom they named Buster.  However, the moment he had his paws under the table he re-wrote the rule book 

He started to pee in the general area of the other cats' feed bowls as a sign of dominance and no longer would he be handled.  If anyone even attempted to pick him up he would lash out but I think he was mentally disturbed - possibly ill-treated by his owner beforehand.  He then got injured by a car and it cost my parents a small fortune to get his leg pinned but that's what you sign up for 

 

[sherilynnc]

Hahaha, so basically they fool you into not being able to say no and taking them home and then they show their true colors. Must be way smarter than you'd imagine. My sweet Molly does come running to greet me when I come home and she lets me rub her lots but she does seem to be putting a limit on the holding time. Hahaha, shame on her for making me think I

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• sherilynnc
• Dec 15, 2016

was getting a cuddle bug lap kitty. Either way, cuddle bug or not, I wouldn't trade her for anything. She's my doll baby!

 

[moorspede]

Some cats don't like being picked up. Mine don't.

 

[sherilynnc]

Maybe I'm just reading way too much into every single thing as we try to settle into our new family of 4 fur babies. I'll surely be happy when we can all get along or at least tolerate one another. Everyone is tolerant except Miss Molly but I guess with all her changes, it should be expected. It hasn't even been 3 whole weeks yet. The best is surely to come right? [emoji]128521[/emoji]

 

[highpriestess]

was getting a cuddle bug lap kitty. Either way, cuddle bug or not, I wouldn't trade her for anything. She's my doll baby!

What a lovely Molly!  My advice when handling any cat is to actually enforce limits before they themselves do 

  I picked up Star yesterday and put him down before he started doing the pushing away business haha!  If they know it is going to be just the obligatory 10 second strangulation at the hands of a humanoid they can just about tolerate us lol