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Ever just had enough?

post #1 of 18
Thread Starter 
I know I have!

Firstly my business adventure, that went to pot basically because a so called friend let me down, so then I've been relying on Alans wage because no matter how many jobs I apply for theres always somebody more experienced, more qualifications yadda yadda...

My endo has just been out of control, the pain and tears has been overbearing, nothing is easing the pain, I have a great pain barrier usually, but this is unbelievable and I cannot cope at all! so it's back yet again to the doctors.

Then my nan rings, is slurring words and eventually falls over, she is taken to hospital where she has broken her wrist,she falls again this time they say it's a blood disorder, then further tests tell us she has lung cancer, she also has a brain scan which shows she also has a form of dementia..I go and see her and she keeps trying to give me money thinking she owes everyone money and repeating herself and not remembering something she just told you, then withing 3 months she passes away, I was distraught she was always so strong, 78 and still used to go shopping and worked right up until she was 75!

Then my poor dog, battled cancer for 6 months, she had two operations to remove tumours, the third time they said it couldn't be operated on which I wouldn't of put her through another anyway, and she has been fine, active and eating, going for walks, then the other day she was asleep, as I went up to her I saw her nose was pouring with blood, and I knew then that was her last day, sure enough the vet said it was now time before she started to suffer, I had that dog for almost 17 years and she's a big loss.

It's like everything is all happening at once, my emotions are all over the place, I'm grouchy, losing my appetite, does anyone ever feel like they've just had enough? and how do you cope? Cos I feel like my head will explode!
post #2 of 18
Oh dear sometimes everything happens at once doesn't it.
I'm so sorry about your Gran, and your dog.
I'm sure things will start to look up for you eventually, remember we are all here anytime you need to vent.
post #3 of 18
Thread Starter 
Thanks...I feel like a moany old witch!

I do fight through it, I try to always laugh and keep my humour, but sometimes I just feel hard pressed to get up, but know you have to keep going, I am lucky that besides the endo I am generally healthy and should feel very lucky I am with so much suffering in the world.
post #4 of 18
I hope that it gets better for you soon.

As how do i cope, i crawel into a book,game or go flying.
the down side is i always turn even more anti social then i am already, for shot time period. But you are not alone everyone has time that everything seems to be going wrong. things will get better.
post #5 of 18
Thread Starter 
ooo I just got sent a condolance card in the post from my vets! not even a printed one but handwritten too, how thoughtful, my old vet never did that when I lived in London.. what a lovely gesture.

And yeh things can only get better, it helps with two highly amusing kittys who are pure comical
post #6 of 18
Nothing ever happens in ones, does it

I'm so sorry to hear about your Nan and your dog I know thay are happy and healthy now though and taking care of you!

Sending you lots of "Bright Side of Life' }}}VIBES{{{ your way
post #7 of 18
Thread Starter 
Thanks hun, it's actually been really nice catching up here, seeing all the adorable kitty pictures, I won't get beaten down too much where I can't get back up, it's gotta be uphill from here
post #8 of 18
I am so sorry about the loss of your Grandmother and your sweet dog, I just lost my cat, my sweet girl Bella and the pain is unbearable, and there is a gap in my life now that will never be filled, but this site has really helped me., because people here understand. There are so many wonderful people here to help you, I hope you can find some comfort.
post #9 of 18
Even though there is alots going on in your life-there must be some small bright shiny good times too??
How about volunteering somewhere to get some more job experience??
There are days if I'm cooped up in the house I don't seem to accomplish anything but just remember small steps!!!
Sending Happy, Smiling vibes to you!!! {{{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}
post #10 of 18
Somedays, you just have to step back and do a tally, and realize that yeah, things are very, very lousy sometimes. And when things get better, your health will most likely improve.
When my nephew was shot in the head, I immediately made arrangements to fly myself, my mom (his grandma) and my daughters to rush to his bedside. But as we began our 5 hour drive to the airport, I was suddenly hit with tremendous pain and an urgency to use the restroom - it was a massive kidney infection that went from bad to worse, and my nephew passed away without my getting to say good-bye. And things just kept going downhill for months, it seemed. My former husband (my kids father) got killed in a mining accident, and my oldest brother (not my nephew's father) got killed by a drunk driver; as my kidneys got worse, I had terrible dental problems, and then I got shingles; on top of that, my brain-damaged daughter had terrible time coping with her cousin's death; my oldest daughter got involved using drugs; I had to keep on working, waiting tables & acting like life is nothing but roses (after all, I was being paid to make people smile and enjoy their meal). My mom would tell me, "This, too, shall pass" and it eventually did.
I don't remember much about those days, except for my horse would love to curve her neck around me and hold me close, and my little cat JC would care for me so tenderly. He would smell my breath, and if I had a kidney problem going on, he'd know it and would lay on my kidney and purr - sometimes it was the only thing that would relieve the torture.
I hope that your days take a swift upswing for the better very soon!
post #11 of 18
Thread Starter 
Thanks everyone, but especially catsknowme...I feel so selfish seeing as you have been through so much, that just makes me look like i'm whinging, though I really posted because my head feels like it's gonna explode, not to whinge.

I know I am lucky that I have nothing terminal, and my daughter and husband are happy and healthy, and to be feeling down is really unlike me usually I'm the one who is strong, who copes and holds others together and right now I've just lost control of that, and I always know others are suffering more than I am, but sometimes I just cannot control my emotions, I guess I am part human after all
post #12 of 18
I too know what its like, I've been battling with it for over a year, some days or months you feel everything is going great for you and then suddenly you take a look around you and realise... its not going well at all, you feel like youre back to square one and just want to break down, then you feel that noone around you will understand you, in this case for me i resort to TCS, but often i dont feel like i need to share my problems, because others have it much worse off than me.
In just one day everything around you can collapse, sometimes it takes months to find the light in the tunnel.

I wish you all the best!

post #13 of 18
I am so sorry tings are going so badly, please don't feel like you are whining. Everybody just needs to get things off their chest sometimes.
Sometimes things just get so bad it is ridiculous, and you can almost laugh at the heaping of crap just raining down on you.
My father, my FIL, and my best friend all died on the same day, in the same hospital, of completely unrelated things. Then as I was trying to get on the plane, the airline tried to bump me off the flight because they had overbooked the flight. I refused, and an extremely arrongant man in a giant turban tried to intimidate me into giving up my seat, because it didn't matter what I was going to do, it could not possibly be as important as HIS business.(this was pre 911) I didn't feel like telling anyone why I would not give up my seat, and he screamed in my face over it. I really wanted to stick that giant turban where the sun didn't shine. Then the day went downhill.
I truly hope things get better for you.
post #14 of 18
I'm so sorry about the losses of your grandmother and your dog. It seems to help if you can keep physically busy, and find other things to think about. Sometimes when bad things are happening to us, our minds just keep reviewing everything over and over. Maybe that's what's happening to you? I hope things get better soon!
post #15 of 18
I think there are times when you just need to sit down and say it hurts horribly and you don't feel like coping; you're tired of coping. Coping is stressful in itself and by having little break-downs, I feel that then you release some stress and start, well, coping again.

post #16 of 18
Thread Starter 
Thanks guys, had a visit from my 15 year old nephew today, he has literally had me in stitches, we made cakes, well he made a mess more than anything lol...also spent alot of time with the cats, bit worried as they are quite quiet since the dog went, and she was a mother to them when they were kittens...but it was nice to have company for the day, it's so empty when Alan and my daughter aren't here and I have time to think, but today it was a complete change, one day at a time eh
post #17 of 18
Awwww, sounds like you have gotten more than your share of bad things in a short amount of time

not eating, not sleeping etc, can be signs of depression. In your case it might be what is called "situational", meaning it may be temporary, but it could get very severe. And as someone that this occurred to as well, you dont want to go there.

So if you are really feeling down (and justifiably so) go see a doctor and get some medication help. There are meds out there that will sort you out, trust me. Good luck sweetie.
post #18 of 18
Thread Starter 
That's the route I really don't wish to go down, I know medication helps some people( and at this present time I don't think i'm bad enough to warrant that) but when my mum died I held it all in for a couple of years, I ended up on medication and I took myself off them, I felt worse for it and it felt like my head was in the clouds and all muffled and I felt I couldn't be a proper mum as I was spaced out, my daughter kept me going at that point. I will continue to fight and keep telling myself I'm really very lucky.
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