TheCatSite.com › Forums › General Forums › The Cat Lounge › Definately not right....
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Definately not right....

post #1 of 18
Thread Starter 
About a month ago, I met this guy who I had been talking to online. We hit it off and I have continued seeing him.
I've never had a boyfriend before him.. it was all new to me.

Well.. we used to talk everyday, multiple times a day on msn.. and we tried to see each other every other day.

Last friday was the last time I saw him.. it's been over a week now.

He was really busy with work and I was really busy with the cat rescue.. so I didn't think anything of it.
I was still talking to him everyday online, so it wasn't that big a deal.

Well.. I haven't talked to him since probably thursday now... I haven't seen him online.. other than twice.. but I didn't say anything to him because I knew he was busy working. (he does web design and codes RPG games and the like)
But now I dunno..

I have a major fear of rejection.. which was partially the reason I have never gone out with anyone before..
So this is really hurting me right now... almost to a depressing state..
I feel like I am driving him away.. I dunno..

His cell phone is either dead or turned off, knowing him, most likely dead.. so I can't even call him. I don't know what I would say even if I could. 'Where have you been?'
We've only been seeing each other for a month.. but I really like him.. and my fear of rejection is just killing me right now. I've been sitting here since this morning for him to sign on, and there's nothing.

This can't be right..... can it?
post #2 of 18
While it may not seem right at the time, he may just be wrapped up in life at the moment... Thursday to Sunday is not a long time, especially with it being a holiday weekend he may be spending time with family etc.

Just drop him a Happy Holidays / Hey type email and see if he responds
post #3 of 18
I am a strong beliver in things will work themselves out if they are meant to be. Based on what you have said here I really doubt there is anything you have done to scare this guy off. It seems like he may just be busy and forgot to charge his cell phone. Perhaps you could send him a quick e-mail. I would try to keep it brief. Perhaps ask how he is doing and have nice weekend.

New relationships can seem scary. Try to keep your mind occupied so you do not get depressed. Perhaps you could find a good book to read or watch a movie. Could you call a friend and maybe go bowling or something just to get out of the house for a little while?
post #4 of 18
Send him a basket of cookies to his workplace....at least that worked for me when I was courting my husband (unfortunately I don't really believe in dating, just courting, but the differences are minimal).
post #5 of 18
Cookies a month in may scare him off. I like the one that suggested a quick email, possibly include a coffee invitation or dinner or something. Btw what holiday is it?
post #6 of 18
Labour Day, an excuse for a day off work more than an actual holiday for most people, but it celebrates workers rights and the repealing of the anti-union laws that stopped people protecting those rights back in the 1880s
post #7 of 18
Thread Starter 
I had a friend add him on msn to see if he was online for her.. and he wasn't.. so he is offline and I'm not blocked, yay for that at least.

But now I'm worried about him.. it's not like him to not log on. He even hasn't been on his myspace.. which he usually goes on daily..
post #8 of 18
Maybe he had a family emergency, or something, and has not had time to contact anyone. The fact that he has not been online leads me to believe he has not been home. I would not take it as rejection until you know it for a fact. I have rejection issues myself, and have really had to train myself not to get too upset until I know the facts. I still get anxious when my sweetie gets off work late, even though most nights he finishes up after his posted quitting time. He cannot just get up mid tattoo and go home.
Please don't get too upset until you know if there is something to get upset over.
post #9 of 18
Thread Starter 
Talking to him online right now.

A Xbox360 game that he had ordered some months ago arrived on Friday morning.. and he was playing that all weekend. Along with some drinking

He better smarten up from now on though.. and let me know whats going on. He lets me know when he's gone for a day.. but not when he is for a weekend. Moron

Thanks guys.

And yeah.. I need to figure out a way to get over this rejection issue....
post #10 of 18
I had to go find this thread to see what happened, I must have missed your reply!

Glad it is all sorted!
post #11 of 18
I know you mentioned that you haven't dated before this, but I'd just like to offer you a small bit of advice... don't get too clingy too fast, for example expecting him to tell to tell you where he is all the time, trust me, I know from experience this is usually the quickest way to drive a guy away because, to be honest, when it come to relationships I have the mentality of a guy and when a guy gets too attached too fast I run for the hills. just relax and take it one day at a time, try to get involved in other things yourself, cause if he "disappeared" once, he WILL do it again, guaranteed... my advice is to not worry and get mad or upset, I know its a lot easier said then done, especially when you like someone, but my experience has been: the less interest you show in a person, the more they show in you
post #12 of 18
Quote:
Originally Posted by katiemae1277 View Post
I know you mentioned that you haven't dated before this, but I'd just like to offer you a small bit of advice... don't get too clingy too fast, for example expecting him to tell to tell you where he is all the time, trust me, I know from experience this is usually the quickest way to drive a guy away because, to be honest, when it come to relationships I have the mentality of a guy and when a guy gets too attached too fast I run for the hills. just relax and take it one day at a time, try to get involved in other things yourself, cause if he "disappeared" once, he WILL do it again, guaranteed... my advice is to not worry and get mad or upset, I know its a lot easier said then done, especially when you like someone, but my experience has been: the less interest you show in a person, the more they show in you
Couldnt have said it better!
post #13 of 18
Quote:
Originally Posted by fwan View Post
Couldnt have said it better!
Welcome to the wonderful world of dating, right?
post #14 of 18
Quote:
Originally Posted by katiemae1277 View Post
Welcome to the wonderful world of dating, right?
Yep, i just realised that i am too attached to my bf, so today i decided to distant my self
he has to follow me, not me being the dog, because once the chick is the dog, the guy gets to do what ever he wants with you! and youll just become a yoyo!

not sure if that made sense?
post #15 of 18
Quote:
Originally Posted by fwan View Post
Yep, i just realised that i am too attached to my bf, so today i decided to distant my self
he has to follow me, not me being the dog, because once the chick is the dog, the guy gets to do what ever he wants with you! and youll just become a yoyo!

not sure if that made sense?
Completely! that's another bit of advice I try to give my friends....don't ever be the chaser, cause it is really hard to get that one turned around I chased a guy almost all of last year, I would call him all the time, I would ask when are we going out again, I really liked this dude, but i got sick of the run around and excuses so I put the brakes on, but guess who started chasing me then? unfortunately he waited to long to realize he wanted to be with me and I'd already moved on- as soon as I showed less interest in him the more interest I got from him, wish I would have done it sooner, but like I said before it is really hard when you like someone a lot.
post #16 of 18
Huh. These sort of issues make me realize how lucky I really was (and am) with my relationship with my boyfriend/fiance. We didn't do any of that chaser/chasee stuff, we didn't get crushes on each other first, it was BAM LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP from date one.
post #17 of 18
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beccory View Post
Huh. These sort of issues make me realize how lucky I really was (and am) with my relationship with my boyfriend/fiance. We didn't do any of that chaser/chasee stuff, we didn't get crushes on each other first, it was BAM LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP from date one.
That's how it was with my ex-husband too, but now he's my ex
post #18 of 18
Thread Starter 
Thanks guys.

I try not to be clingy.. and I'm not really.. only when that happened.

But I miss him now.. I haven't seen him in two weeks starting tomorrow. He's been busy. I'm busy studying.. so it'll have to wait till next week.

But again.. thanks guys
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: The Cat Lounge
TheCatSite.com › Forums › General Forums › The Cat Lounge › Definately not right....