The Official "Waiting For The Ring" Thread!!

[starryeyedtiger]

Originally Posted by rachelh1018

Career Goal: Police Officer

Aww, don't be upset about the police officer thing. It's a good job. Colin is a cop...he was a pretty high ranking lt. in the Navy before he got out and joined the police force. I have never seen him more happy in his life than he is now. And danger wise- it's not as bad as you think, they train them really well. And Colin's always extra safe, he always wears his vest, has a shoulder harness for his extra gun, carries 2 knives one by his leg and one in a pocket.....and has a belt full of weapons. Pay is not good though...Colin took almost a 70% pay cut when he left the military and joined the police force....he's definitely not in it for the money...he's in it because he loves it and he feels he is making more of a difference that way. He has a degree in Management Information Systems....one of the highest paying degrees out there.....yet he doesn't want to sit behind a desk all day, so he chose to take a low paying job and do something he really loves. It's rough, but it's right for him and i understand and support that. Try not to be too hard on your bf for wanting to do the cop thing. His heart is probably in the right place. I would suggest however that if you ever plan on getting hitched, you get a good paying job. He will probably not make much as a cop. Good luck sweetie- i hope he pops the question for you soon

 

[sarahp]

Originally Posted by Mirinae

I think I'm just frustrated because sometimes it seems like my life has been put on hold. Friends of ours got married last year and had a baby in March; they bought a house a year or two before that. My bf's younger sister bought a house and got engaged in December. Friends of ours just announced their engagement a week ago -- all of our close friends are now either engaged or married. I know I shouldn't judge the quality of my life by my friends' lives, but I'll be 28 on Saturday, and I honestly thought I'd be married with children by now. I realize marriage and children aren't the only things in life, but they're things I want, and things he says he wants, so what are we waiting for? It will never be the perfect time.

I know it's hard, but have you spoken to him about this? He probably has no idea you feel that way. When talking about your birthday to him, you could mention that you thought you'd be married with kids by then, and see what he says. Maybe also mention that you would like to have kids sooner rather than later since the biological clock is ticking, and see how he reacts. You may have to reassure him that you don't plan to get pregnant immediately, but make him aware of your long term plans....

 

[mirinae]

The frustrating thing is, we have discussed these things and he knows where I stand. Friends of ours had dated (and lived together) for almost ten years before getting married, and I've made it very clear that I'm not willing to wait that long; I love him very much, and I realize intellectually that being married or not doesn't change my feelings for him, but at heart I guess I'm a traditional girl who requires this next step in my life. I don't need us to be married right away -- I'm perfectly content with a long engagement. And it's not even like I'm some kind of greedy golddigger or that I need my boyfriend to buy me expensive things -- I don't even wear jewelry -- I guess I need the kind of validation an engagement ring provides. Maybe that's sad or "unfeminist" of me, but that's the way I am.

And yeah, I could just propose to him myself, but he's a traditionalist too and likely wouldn't think that it "counted" unless he did the proposing. (In most other respects he's a very liberal, equality-minded guy, but there are a few areas that he views as "guys only." Proposals are one of them.)

There's a lot more I could say on the subject, but I guess it basically boils down to this: Some days, I feel like he thinks he doesn't have to "buy the cow, because he gets the milk for free" -- and this cow ain't thrilled with the idea. (And yes, I could stop "giving him the milk for free," but then I'm just denying myself as well, and still probably not getting anywhere.)

*sigh* Things were a lot easier when I was all "Rarrr! I don't need a man for anything!"

Who knew?

 

[lunasmom]

Not so Clueless Boyfriend: Bruce
Job: Social Work
Hobbies: Online Poker, Poker on TV, Age of Empires (and variations), Yahoo Games
Animals: 2 cats Beauty & Patches, we share Whitey (Luna is MINE!)
Status: Boyfriend
Length of Time you've been waiting for a ring: 2.5 years...Last Winter was suppose to happen, but because he was out of work longer than expected, nothing. Right now we're at a point that we're working heavily on fixing our relationship....that's really more important than getting engaged at the moment.
Age:37
Previous gifts: Variety of things such as Sex in the City DVDs (Good), Jewelry (Good - although some haven't been jewelry I would've picked out personally), all the way to Sleeping Bag (huh?), Bag that helps organize my trunk (OK).

 

[cearbhaill]

Ok girls- this is what I did.

I went shopping and picked out the perfect ring, put it on layaway with the smallest down payment they allowed, then gave cluless guy the receipt and instructions on where and when to make the payments.

Problem solved.
15 years later we're still married but I don't think I have even had that ring on in the last 10. It's just a piece of rock and metal- save your money and put a bigger down payment on a home.

 

[beccory]

My biggest point of confusion in our ring problem is that I hate diamonds and I hate gold. The ring I really want is $30- irish marble and sterling silver. We've discussed me proposing and he wants to do it, but he just... doesn't do it...

 

[ericanicole]

My Stud

aniel
Job:HVAC foreman
Hobbies: Sleeping, bar time with friends and me!
Animals: Ball python Khan
Status: Boyfriend and life mate
Age:25
time together: 1 year
Length of Time you've been waiting for a ring: 6 months(we knew within the first two months it was forever...sappy I know)
Previous Gifts from clueless boyfriend: diamond necklace, diamond earrings just nothing on my finger!!!

Im hoping that this september he askes me, I need a year and half to save and plan for a wedding and my urge to make babies is in hyper drive...he better get movin!!! I mean his mother pulled me aside the other day and told me she wanted me to be the mother of her other grandchildren and to be her daughter-in-law!!! thats a shoe-in for petes sake!

 

[starryeyedtiger]

Originally Posted by Cearbhaill

Ok girls- this is what I did.

I went shopping and picked out the perfect ring, put it on layaway with the smallest down payment they allowed, then gave cluless guy the receipt and instructions on where and when to make the payments.

Problem solved.
15 years later we're still married but I don't think I have even had that ring on in the last 10. It's just a piece of rock and metal- save your money and put a bigger down payment on a home.

Lol, maybe we should all do that to our clueless boyfriends

, however i don't think Colin would appreciate me doing that though

. Hehe, i like the way you think!

 

[lunasmom]

Originally Posted by Beccory

My biggest point of confusion in our ring problem is that I hate diamonds and I hate gold. The ring I really want is $30- irish marble and sterling silver. We've discussed me proposing and he wants to do it, but he just... doesn't do it...

I feel so much better! I hate gold AND diamonds too!!!

I always figured this prevent me from having a serious relationship.

 

[starryeyedtiger]

I hate yellow gold, but love diamonds and emeralds a ton. I really like silver and white gold though

...hehe I've trained colin on how much i hate yellow gold so hopefully if he ever does pop the question he'll get white gold- but it doesn't really matter.... for a guy, picking out an engagement ring is personal and takes a lot of thought- i would never criticize something like that if it wasn't exactly how i had planned... Guys are really trying when they pick them out and it means a lot to them that you are the one they want to be with. It's something special- it should be the guys call. I honestly wouldn't care if my ring came out of a cracker jack box....i would just be thrilled my man poped the question

. For now though i guess i'm just waiting..

 

[arlyn]

I hate large diamonds, small is just fine and I hate yellow gold.
The perfect example is my promise ring, it has 4 tiny diamonds and it's way less than 1/4k total weight.
Of course, for the stones that both of us want in my engagement ring, we'll end up paying more for

I like emeralds and he likes blue sapphire (my birthstone).
The stones themselves though, I think would compliment each other nicely.

 

[icklemiss21]

My promise ring is Emerald because I like it and I am Irish... and he remembered the white gold

I honestly wouldn't care if my ring came out of a cracker jack box....i would just be thrilled my man poped the question. For now though i guess i'm just waiting...

he could have asked the question with the promise ring!

 

[ashleynicole]

(Getting slightly less) Clueless Boyfriend: Patrick
Job: Full time student and part time at a newspaper as a researcher
Hobbies: Anything outside, he loves playing soccer, loves reading comic books
Animals: One hansome kitty, Mick
Status: Boyfriend for 5 and 1/2 years
Length of Time you've been waiting for a ring: Hmm...we've talked about it for years, but I've really been waiting for last half a year or so.

Previous gifts: He's a great gift-giver! I have a beautiful promise ring (like an eternity ring, white gold with diamonds set half way around the band), an Eternity circle diamond necklace, lots of pretty bracelets, and many many more little gifts that just brighten my day (like books he knows I want, stuffed aninmals on the smaller holidays, etc).

And this morning he mentioned to me that when we go into our hometown this week to visit parents, he wants to take me to look at rings!

He totally blew me out of the water by telling me the past few times hes gone on short trips back home without me, that he has been looking at rings and has some he wants to show me to see which style I like better. I am just ecstatic!!

 

[mamasquishy]

Well I guess I am pretty lucky, I am not waiting for the ring anymore. That was the easy part lol! Just the actual wedding lol.

 

[footersownsme]

My man: Vinnie
Job: State Corrections Officer
Hobbies: hanging with friends, collecting bearded dragons, poker, anything really
Animals: Shogun, Trouble & Tonka-the bearded dragons and Kricket even though hes allergic to cats he loves her
Status: Boyfriend for 1yr 10 months
Length of Time you've been waiting for a ring: a few months, when he went into the academy back in March, he had a lot of time to sit up in those bunks and think bout life, he then decided i was "the one", but i'm still waiting, he has a fear of jewerly and the word marriage. I cant even say that word its evil or something. I do know hes waiting to get finiacial settled and everything, great but wheres the darn ring!!!!
Age: 24

Previous Gifts from clueless boyfriend:
Dont get me wrong hes a great guy and knows what i like but I cant even look at jewerly with him around. lol The last year it has been IOU's because we've both been tight on money but hes gotten me, flowers, candies, tickets to concerts/sporting events, he buys me just about anything i want (except for more animals lol).

Very patiently waiting.

 

[starryeyedtiger]

Originally Posted by AshleyNicole

And this morning he mentioned to me that when we go into our hometown this week to visit parents, he wants to take me to look at rings!

He totally blew me out of the water by telling me the past few times hes gone on short trips back home without me, that he has been looking at rings and has some he wants to show me to see which style I like better. I am just ecstatic!!

Aww! That's awesome! I hope he pops the question to you soon

. Sounds like your DB has a bit more of a clue that the rest of ours lol

. There's hope yet!

 

[starryeyedtiger]

So....tonight i was at walmart and when i was there, i was seriously tempted to get one of those $8.00 rings that looks like an engagement ring. Hehe, i thought it'd be funny to put it on my finger and see how long it would take Colin to notice

That's just me being mischevious lol. I didn't get it but i seriously thought it'd be funny

 

[starryeyedtiger]

Bump!!!!

....so...who's still waiting???

 

[caterpillarpie]

Name: Alex
Job: works at a video store and occasionally for his parents
Hobbies: warhammer, motorbikes, violin
Animals:buttons, ginger and dice
Status: fiance, well no not really.
Length of Time you've been waiting for a ring: over 2 years.
Age: 18


he asked me in bed, while half asleep and we decided not to tell anybody until we had finished our commitments, commitments over about 2 months ago and he now says he'd like to wait another year. bollocks.

 

[starryeyedtiger]

hey look on the bright side- at least he asked you