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Am I out of order?

post #1 of 9
Thread Starter 
For the past week my bf has been trying to meet up with his best friend, A, and it hasnt gone well.
A called him last week and arranged to meet up the next day. I met up with my bf in the morning and we went out but although my bf called A's mobile and house phone he didnt pick up, so they didn't see each other, and so it all kinda got cancelled.
Then A and my bf talked (finally!) online and said they'd hang out on thursday. As a result I made plans for thursday and friday, since when they meet up they stay up all night watching bad martial arts films and playing resident evil...
On friday morning i got a call from my bf who said that A had suddenly cancelled on him late last night because he was too hung over to do anything. I couldnt see my bf since i'd already made plans.
Turns out A had 'washed' his phone accidently, so hadn't got my bf's messages. I didn't get it. A knew they were meeting up yet didnt bother to explain earlier or call him to do anything.
Then today they made concrete plans to do something and my bf came over in the morning/early afternoon. A little while after he left my bf texted me to say A called him (bear with me here) and said he'd be an hour or so late!
This is really starting to make me \t
I had a completely free evening tonight, house all to myself, which doesn't often happen, and because A has been so unavailable and unreachable I can't spend it with my bf!
I can't tell if I'm being unreasonable here, and I'm not about to tell my bf about my annoyance towards his best friend. I just wanted to know if I was making a fuss over nothing *big sigh* rant over
post #2 of 9
Well I'd actually like to know when the last time your BF seen 'A'.
Are they like long-term Best Friends...How long have they been friends?
How often to they talk.
Reason I'm asking is because I have answer for you, but I gotta know those details before answering.
post #3 of 9
Thread Starter 
They've been friends for about 3years. He's my bf's best friend in england. I think they last hung out just over 2weeks ago- for the weekend i think, and they talk online almost every night
post #4 of 9
I am not sure I quite understand what you said I am a little slow today... You BF hasn't seen A in a long time I take it and it is geting in the way of your plans...? Is that right?
post #5 of 9
Thread Starter 
Is 2weeks a long time? Its not getting in the way of my plans, I just don't like the way my bf thinks he'll be meeting up with A, then it doesnt happen, and he's made time to see him, and by the time A cancels its usually too late to do anything instead... Sorry if it doesn't make sense
post #6 of 9
Personally I would think that it's my bf's business whether or not he wants to deal with it. I'd wonder about your motivation, is it that you don't like him to cancel on your bf or is it that you expected to have time with your bf and he made other plans instead? I know that similar things have happened in the past and I've taken it way too personally.

And as far as saying anything to bf, I wouldn't, that's me. If bf wants to be strung along by this guy, it's his business, and if he doesn't, at some point he will speak up. But in my experience nothing good ever resulted from sticking my nose in other people's relationships, particularly with someone considered a "best" friend, a family member, or significant other.
post #7 of 9
Thread Starter 
I know, thats why i'm saying Nothing to him whatsoever. I'm worried I am taking it too personally. When my bf gets cancelled on it affects me too, it irritates him, but he forgives people so easily and he hates to make a fuss so if he is annoyed he'll never say anything about it
post #8 of 9
I think that guy friends have a very different bond then us female friends have with one another.
They can cancel plans, and not care. As when my friends cancel plans continuously, I'm just like "well fine..I dont want to hang out with you either."
If they talk every night, they must be pretty good friends. My spouse has a best friend in Florida, and they talk 3-4 times a week, for hours on end.
I think that you should just pull through it, and make time with your man at different dates. They need that guy friend companion as well. And that leaves time for you to go out and do your own thing.
And if thier plans get cancelled..Oh well..Another day to sit with your guy and do nothing. And when thier plans go through...Hooray!
Nothing to fret about in my opinion.
post #9 of 9
Thread Starter 
Good to know. I'm abit highly strung atm because its my time of the month. So I find it easy to build a mountain out of a mole hill.
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