A Cat in Mourning

We've had five cats for almost 10 years. Two were older when we adopted them, one we got as a kitten to keep the two older cats from fighting, one adopted us and one was a stray my husband found in a parking lot. The two older cats adopted the kitten as their own and became "Mommy and Daddy" to him. The cat that adopted us became a close buddy to him. In the past six months both Mommy and Daddy passed away. Nermal became extra close to his "brother" after that. We also adopted a new cat (1 year old) in the hopes that she would be a pal for Nermal. Although we were told she loved to cuddle and groom the other cats, she really only cuddled and groomed Duffy. But Duffy died suddenly last week of aspiration pneumonia. Now Nermal seems completely lost and depressed. He's sucking up to my kids and he used to hate them. He won't let me cuddle him and at times shies away from my touch. I hate to see him like this. Any ideas?

We have considered getting a small kitten for Nermal to adopt as his own. Don't know if this will work. Also not sure if we should do this now to shorted the adjustment period or wait until he stops greiving - but we're not sure that multiple adjustment period would be a good thing either. We sure could use some ideas.

IMB

Oh, I'm sorry that this is happening, and for your sad losses.

I'm afraid that, not having been in a similar situation, I can't really offer advice.

However, please do stick around, as I have no doubt that someone will be by soon to help.

When we had a similar situation we found this helped.

http://www.bachflower.com/rescue_remedy.htm

Anne

There's no guarantee that Nermal would get along with a new kitten, or see it as anything but a new threat (which is not to say it couldn't work), and with the others, you have a lot to deal with now. He should adjust in time, and you may consider a new one eventually, but I wouldn't just get one now on the off chance they'd get along well.

Thanks for the replies. I think for the whole family, cats and humans included, we need more time to mourn the passing of our dear friends. Duffy's death came as such a shock and watching Nermal mourn is doubly sad. Probably best to wait until he finishes greiving and has spent some more time knowing just how much he is loved before we introduce a kitten to the mix.