Even though I am from Texas, not all of these make sense to me (I think it's because some of it applies to West Texas). Some of these were pretty funny so I thought I'd share.
Things Texans Know About Texas
Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.
Roadrunners don't say "Beep Beep"
There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Texas.
There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Texas, plus a
couple no one's seen before.
Opossums will eat anything. Armadillos love to dig holes under tomato
plants.
Raccoons will test your crop of melons and let you know when they are
ripe.
If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.
Nothing will kill a mesquite tree.
There are valid reasons some people put concertina wire around their
house.
You cannot find a country road without a curve from corner to corner.
A tractor is NOT an all-terrain vehicle. They do get stuck.
Texas has 5 seasons: Spring, Feb 16 to April 15 Summer, April 16 to
July 15 (temp 90 to 98 degrees) Super Summer, July 16 to Sept 10 (temp 100 to 115 degrees) Summer, Sept. 11 to Oct 1 (temp 90 to 98 degrees) Fall, Oct 2 to Dec. 1 Winter Dec. 2 to Feb 15
The wind blows at 90 MPH from Oct. 2 until June 25, then it stops
totally until Oct 2.
Onced and Twiced are words.
It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy.
Fire ants consider your flesh as a picnic.
Graduating 1st in your class means you left in the 8th grade.
Coldbeer is one word.
People actually grow and eat okra.
Texans really don't have an accent.
When the world ends, only cockroaches and mesquite trees will survive.
Green grass DOES burn.
When you live in the country, you don't have to buy a dog. City people drop them off at your gate in the middle of the night.
The sound of coyotes howling at night only sounds good for the first
couple of weeks.
When a buzzard sits on the fence and stares at you, it's time to go to the doctor.
Fixinto! is one word.
A tank is a dirt hole in the ground that holds water for irrigation.
The word dinner is confusing. There's only lunch and then there's
supper.
Tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're 2.
Backards and forards means I know everything about you.
'Jeet? is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"
You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it
is.
You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
And the most important thing...... There's no place I'd rather be then TEXAS!
Things Texans Know About Texas
Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.
Roadrunners don't say "Beep Beep"
There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Texas.
There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Texas, plus a
couple no one's seen before.
Opossums will eat anything. Armadillos love to dig holes under tomato
plants.
Raccoons will test your crop of melons and let you know when they are
ripe.
If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.
Nothing will kill a mesquite tree.
There are valid reasons some people put concertina wire around their
house.
You cannot find a country road without a curve from corner to corner.
A tractor is NOT an all-terrain vehicle. They do get stuck.
Texas has 5 seasons: Spring, Feb 16 to April 15 Summer, April 16 to
July 15 (temp 90 to 98 degrees) Super Summer, July 16 to Sept 10 (temp 100 to 115 degrees) Summer, Sept. 11 to Oct 1 (temp 90 to 98 degrees) Fall, Oct 2 to Dec. 1 Winter Dec. 2 to Feb 15
The wind blows at 90 MPH from Oct. 2 until June 25, then it stops
totally until Oct 2.
Onced and Twiced are words.
It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy.
Fire ants consider your flesh as a picnic.
Graduating 1st in your class means you left in the 8th grade.
Coldbeer is one word.
People actually grow and eat okra.
Texans really don't have an accent.
When the world ends, only cockroaches and mesquite trees will survive.
Green grass DOES burn.
When you live in the country, you don't have to buy a dog. City people drop them off at your gate in the middle of the night.
The sound of coyotes howling at night only sounds good for the first
couple of weeks.
When a buzzard sits on the fence and stares at you, it's time to go to the doctor.
Fixinto! is one word.
A tank is a dirt hole in the ground that holds water for irrigation.
The word dinner is confusing. There's only lunch and then there's
supper.
Tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're 2.
Backards and forards means I know everything about you.
'Jeet? is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"
You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it
is.
You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
And the most important thing...... There's no place I'd rather be then TEXAS!
