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Everyone is making me so mad

post #1 of 28
Thread Starter 
Sometimes I wish people could just keep their opinions to themselves.

So, the background is that my boyfriend and I just broke up and are living together until he finds a place. August 1st is the latest he will be there. We have only one bedroom and so we sleep in the same bed. There is NO funny business going on or even hints of it. We have never had a very physical relationship.

Well, my sister just called to lecture me about how its not right, and one of us should sleep on the floor or something..Just telling me over and over how it isn't right and what the heck are we thinking?

So, I went into my coworkers office to vent about it, and she AGREES with my sister AND also said that everyone in the office thinks its weird.

I'm thinking: what the hell business is it of anyone in my office to comment on my living situation? I am so fuming right now. I hate people preaching and lecturing me. Everyone in my office has an opinion about everything and since their are only 5 of us here, it becomes an office issue, not a persons personal issue.

Sorry guys, but this makes me so upset. Why can't people keep their opinions to themselves?
post #2 of 28
Take no notice of them, if it works for you then what right have they to criticize ?

My siggy says it all Hope it all works out.
post #3 of 28
My ex and I did the same thing Natalie, we decided in the begining of January to separate (although I knew there would be no reconciliation) and he stayed with me for about a month or so until he figured out a place to live, and we still shared a bed, but no funny business, like you two we never had a very physical relationship. No one in my circle ever commented on it though, my family undertstood what was going on, I couldn't just kick him out, I'm sure you feel the same way, but that was rotten of your sister, like you're not going through anough as it is Some people just don't understand that every situation has its "quirks" its not like you and Ken had a blow-out break-up, you're still on good terms. So, I totally understand what you're going through If ya ever need to talk, I'm here!
post #4 of 28
Don't worry about what they have to say about it. I know that your sister is family and its hard to not take what she say to heart. Its not like you want to live like that. You have signed a lease together. You situation is what it is right now and you can't really change it until Aug 1. they just need to get over it!
post #5 of 28
First let me say, it is your business... however... YOU did go into your co workers office to vent about your sister commenting on your situation, therefore you invited her into your life... and with that invited her input and opinions as well...

If you dont wants people in your business... keep it to yourself?


xox
post #6 of 28
Aww Natalie
I completely understand your frustrations. I also understand your need to vent and talk to people... For what it's worth, I think both your sister and coworker meant well. They know how hard this has been for you, and I can understand the idea they have that you won't be able to begin the healing process until he has moved out. But you are right in saying that this is YOUR living situation, and I know you are doing what you need to do.
Try not to let these people's ideas upset you. I learned a long time ago that when you vent to people, and I used to do it all the time, you have to expect them to give their opinions whether or not you truly want them or not.
post #7 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trouts mom
So, I went into my coworkers office to vent about it, and she AGREES with my sister AND also said that everyone in the office thinks its weird.

I'm thinking: what the hell business is it of anyone in my office to comment on my living situation? I am so fuming right now. I hate people preaching and lecturing me. Everyone in my office has an opinion about everything and since their are only 5 of us here, it becomes an office issue, not a persons personal issue.

Sorry guys, but this makes me so upset. Why can't people keep their opinions to themselves?
I'm sorry if I don't sound supportive, but you can't expect to vent to co-workers and then for them to keep their opinions to themselves afterward. This is a situation where if you want it to stay private information, you KEEP it private. You can't complain about your coworkers being in your business if you make it their business.

Here's a question: Would you be this upset if the people in your office had agreed with you rather than your sister?

Just my observations, am keeping my opinion to myself, as you've made it clear that's what you are wishing for, LOL...
post #8 of 28
That is so weird that they all think there's something wrong with it... I think that you are being very kind, accomodating, and gracious by letting him stay until he finds a place. As long as there's no physical harm that could come to you, what's it their business? Besides, you've slept next to him for so long now, what's another 25 days??? I guess I'd try to explain to them all that you two are still gonna remain friends, and you couldn't throw a friend out on their butt, and you won't do it to him.

I guess the moral of the story is: don't tell people your business if you don't want to hear what they have to say. Cause some people can't just listen to what you have to say without either giving you their ridiculous two cents (as if you've asked for it?) or telling someone else... Thankfully we aren't like that here at TCS!
post #9 of 28
hey,
I was in a awkward situation, i had split up with my ex but we still slept in the same bed and we did the funny business, so for me its WAS really hard to believe that other people didnt untill I met up with a friend, they live in the same house but he sleeps on the couch and seeing if both of them dont want it, it can really work!

People are so horrible at times, but just wait untill something happens to them, then you can give them your best opinion too
post #10 of 28
Its human. Many people believe that what they say holds true. Look at us. You came on here to vent about peoples business and here we're offering you advice. It seems silly, but that's what our culture is like.
post #11 of 28
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cynni
First let me say, it is your business... however... YOU did go into your co workers office to vent about your sister commenting on your situation, therefore you invited her into your life... and with that invited her input and opinions as well...

If you dont wants people in your business... keep it to yourself?


xox

I went into her office to get moral support as we are friends as well. When something upsets me, I need to talk about it, and all I needed was for her to say "don't listen to your sister, who cares what she thinks"..When someone is upset about something, I don't think the best thing to do is put fuel in the fire.

She is my friend, so of course she knows my business. The point is, friends are supposed to be there for you, NOT lecture you.
post #12 of 28
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by GingersMom
Here's a question: Would you be this upset if the people in your office had agreed with you rather than your sister?


Of course I want them to agree with me..doesn't everyone want to be agreed with?
post #13 of 28
I'm sorry people are being judgemental with you Natalie...I'm sure they (well your sister at least) means well.

As far as them saying it's weird though...well the whole situation is uncomfortable and it's only temporary. Don't worry about what they say...they don't live your life.

Things will get better soon
post #14 of 28
One thing I learned as I got older was that you don't share much of your personal life with people you work with. Often they are not close friends and tend to be too judgmental. Only you know and understand what is happening in your life and others can only guess and make suggestions. I'm sure your sister cares what happens to you and only wants you to be happy - it may not be what you WANT to hear right now from her, but later on when your emotions have calmed, you'll see that for what it is.
post #15 of 28
I hate it when people don't mind their own business. At least you didn't get fired for it... I head of a company in some southern state that required all its employees to be married (not to eachother), and straight, of course.
post #16 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by Godiva
I hate it when people don't mind their own business. At least you didn't get fired for it... I head of a company in some southern state that required all its employees to be married (not to eachother), and straight, of course.
Wow - is that even close to legal?
post #17 of 28
That sucks that no one supports you. I think that you both have a right to be comfortable, even if you're not together...so why make one of your sleep on the floor or the couch? I don't think it's weird...it's just sleeping, nothing else.
post #18 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trouts mom
I went into her office to get moral support as we are friends as well. When something upsets me, I need to talk about it, and all I needed was for her to say "don't listen to your sister, who cares what she thinks"..When someone is upset about something, I don't think the best thing to do is put fuel in the fire.

She is my friend, so of course she knows my business. The point is, friends are supposed to be there for you, NOT lecture you.

I always want my friends to be honest with me, no matter how bad it might hurt my feelings... maybe she felt if she just "supported " you this situation may just continue forever.
post #19 of 28
Awww!!! That would be so frustrating. Especially when she said that everyone else in the office thinks so too!

I currently live with my ex-bf of three years. We have our own bedrooms, which I think is a major difference. We broke up in February, and were only halfway through a lease. You know, when I started talking to people about it I was surprised that so many people had done the same thing?

You can do it! I found actually that after we broke up it was easier to live together since there wasn't much to fight about anymore. I think we're both happier! Mid-august I'll be moving to a new city and he'll also be moving.

I hope everything works out for you! It can be hard at times, I know. We had, um, an especially physical relationship, I guess. I know the worst part is that everyone still assumes we're still together since we still live here and hang out. Oh well!
post #20 of 28
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cynni
I always want my friends to be honest with me, no matter how bad it might hurt my feelings... maybe she felt if she just "supported " you this situation may just continue forever.

Well, obviously it won't continue forever. We broke up, and we're just waiting for August 1st.
post #21 of 28
Hey Natalie,

Don't take it to heart. People are always looking for something to nitpick and unfortunately it was your living arrangements.

I say if you are comfortable with it, that's all that matters, after all, even if there was "funny business" or whatever, you are making that choice and you are an adult and that's your right!

Besides, you know you can always come to TCS for a good vent session and will always find support here
post #22 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yosemite
One thing I learned as I got older was that you don't share much of your personal life with people you work with. Often they are not close friends and tend to be too judgmental.
That is so true. At my work people are always looking for fresh gossip. So I try to keep quiet.
post #23 of 28
Just do like this I have no useful advice, so that's all I really have to say other than some people are Jerks!
post #24 of 28
Aw, that is such an awkward situation. Just remind yourself that your sis & co-workers are probably frightened that you are "weakening" your resolve to get out of a bad relationship. Please reassure them that you and Trout are conducting in-depth, ongoing discussions on this issue, and you agree with Trout that you & the ex have the maturity to disengage peacefully. Personally, I admire your maturity & strength; kudos to Trout for obviously giving you the moral support to muster on Please feel free to keep us updated & to vent as much as you like about whomever you want - that's one of the wonderful things about being a member of the TCS family! Not too mention reading about & seeing pics of our ADORABLE TCS kitty nieces&nephews BTW, sending hugs to you & scritches to Trout as she must be feeling all the tension as well. Breaking up is the pits
post #25 of 28
My ex and I did the same thing too. Don't listen, it's your situation, not theirs.
post #26 of 28
you know what, right now you need a hug, not a lecture from anyone. Please let me know if you ever need to talk. I'd be glad to listen. Have a good one!
post #27 of 28
Thread Starter 
Wow, I could quote almost every one of these replies from you guys, and they are all so supportive and understanding.

Everyone here is so great, and I don't know what I would do without you

I try not to vent too much on here, because I am not a negative person. But when there is something crappy going on, its nice to know you guys are here.

Thanks so much to all you special peeps that empathized with me and gave me hugs
post #28 of 28
Here's a few more hugs for today

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