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Just talking to any one who will listenin

post #1 of 24
Thread Starter 
As some of you know my situation if not click on my screen name and read help serious topic. Well any way....

Today is the last day that my little brother is going to be visiting me and he has been with my aunt since 11 this morning. He also stayed at my gmas last night because he was being really rude and i dint know how to deal with him. My boyfriend and i have tried talking to him and all of that but he seems to not care. I feel like he doesnt like me and that he doesnt want to talk to me. I am hurt by it. my aunt and i are very close and she didnt even ask me if i wanted to go with her. my little brother is very rude all he does to me is this and i dont want him to leave on bad terms. he lives here at 5 am and thats less then 24 hours away. i juat feel sad because of the fact i havent been able to talk to him about anything because all my family members keep snatching him up. I dont know..........
post #2 of 24
Is this the same brother you had another thread about?
post #3 of 24
Oh, Kittyprincess, I'm sorry but I'm not really surprised. a) things have been rough for him and b) he's fifteen.

Is he/could he see a cousellor (sorry, I can't spell lately)? It might not hurt for you to go to one too - especially because they can give you loads of timely advice on how to handle his behavior.

He may be testing his limits with you because of your mentoring/guardian role to him; he may be doing it because he's in pain; he may just be going through a bratty phase - or any of a myriad of other options. These things are hard to guess at the best of times, and harder still when the situation is as complicated as his has been.

We can give you loads of personal advice and send good vibes, but you probably need something a little more solid to go on than that.

Anyway, aside from that, my advice is: Don't think you have to have a perfect relationship by the end of his visit. Can you guys email/IM/etc? It will let you build up slowly. Relationships are rarely all or nothing, especially with family.

Good luck and good vibes.
post #4 of 24
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rockcat
Is this the same brother you had another thread about?
Yes it is I had anothe situation that I needed help with and you all have been great to me but now i just dont know any more.....
post #5 of 24
I wish I could offer you words of comfort, he is a young teenager and as teenagers go, is prone to being a bit rebellious and sometimes moody. I'm sure that is probably alot of what is going on.

I know you don't want to part on bad terms and I'm sure that he will hold nothing against you. If you can't speak with him before he goes try giving him a phone call (as emails can be misconstrued) and let him know how much you care and that sort of thing and ask if there is anything going on that maybe you aren't aware of....
post #6 of 24
Well, he sounds like he's on the immature side and maybe trying to get attention. It appears to be working. Everyone (your Gram, Aunt, BF, you) are catering to him. His timing is horrible though. It is really heartbreaking to part with someone you love on bad terms. Chances are that he is acting out because he doesn't know how to handle things (teenagers have an abundence of emotions). I think its something that will pass. Just ride it out and be strong.
post #7 of 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by kittyprincess
As some of you know my situation if not click on my screen name and read help serious topic. Well any way....
hello my friend..........
Yes, I to read your other Thread......that is a hard and difficult situation....I´m so sorry if you feel terrible and bad......If I were in you position, surely I´ll go to talk with a Priest to tell about all this and ask an advice................Certainly you´re a Great and wise person who comprend and gave his space at your little brother, but is clear that you don´t ACCEPT his attitude....and you´re not Obligated to accept it!,...But If you have been talking face to face to him and HE doesn´t to want to change, I´m so sure you can to PRAY for him.......

With all respect to you my friend.............Don´t feel alone, TCS is more than a Site of Cats, everytime that you need to talk, at least I´m here to listen to you!....
post #8 of 24
Thread Starter 
thanks everyone right now i am bawling my eyes out my aunt whom i am very close with just called me and yelled at me. She thinks that i am being selfish and all of this and all of that, and I tried to tell her how he treated me and all and she said that its because of the fact all we do is sit in the house and i tried telling her that everytime my bf and i tried to go some where he would complain about how boring it was i really feel like she said that i owed her an apology and in all reality i feel like telling everyone that if they want to spend all this grand time with him then next time they can save all the money and take all the time off from work because not once has anyone said thank you for me bringing him here, and it hurts because i hardly get to see my aunt as well and she didnt even ask me if i wanted to go with her and to top it off my lil bro is telling her all of this stuff about me that isnt even true ugh i just wanna scream at the top of my lungs right now
post #9 of 24
I'm so sorry sweetie and you have a right to be upset. And I wish there was another way for me to help you feel better
post #10 of 24
Maybe it isn't a good idea to try to force a good relationship with him. Maybe it would be best if you just left him alone for a while. That often helps resentment, because they have less reasons to resent.
post #11 of 24
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Polyglot
Maybe it isn't a good idea to try to force a good relationship with him. Maybe it would be best if you just left him alone for a while. That often helps resentment, because they have less reasons to resent.

Good idea i didnt give that a thought but its the fact that he lives in the am and he has already been with my aunt all day maybe when he goes back home i will just wait for hime to call me???
post #12 of 24
Good idea. However, I don't think you should fret if he doesn't.
post #13 of 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by kittyprincess
thanks everyone right now i am bawling my eyes out my aunt whom i am very close with just called me and yelled at me. She thinks that i am being selfish and all of this and all of that, and I tried to tell her how he treated me and all and she said that its because of the fact all we do is sit in the house and i tried telling her that everytime my bf and i tried to go some where he would complain about how boring it was i really feel like she said that i owed her an apology and in all reality i feel like telling everyone that if they want to spend all this grand time with him then next time they can save all the money and take all the time off from work because not once has anyone said thank you for me bringing him here, and it hurts because i hardly get to see my aunt as well and she didnt even ask me if i wanted to go with her and to top it off my lil bro is telling her all of this stuff about me that isnt even true ugh i just wanna scream at the top of my lungs right now
This is awful. When you've had a chance to calm down and a few days pass I think you should think about writing to your aunt (remember honey not vinegar) and explain you side of the story.

Probably everyone is just inclinded to be nice because of what he's been through (understandable), but they will hopefully see that there is something else going on right now.

This is important both for your personal relationship with your family and so that they are not blindsided by his antics in future.
post #14 of 24
I have read both threads and i am confused. When did everything go from great to horrible? what happened between you and your brother after the parade? I am very sorry if i missed something. I will look again.
post #15 of 24
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kinsey's Pet
I have read both threads and i am confused. When did everything go from great to horrible? what happened between you and your brother after the parade? I am very sorry if i missed something. I will look again.
I feel the same way, I have no idea when it did I think it kinda worked its way up we would get along then fight then get along then fight and finally we both had a really big arguement and this is how its been the past couple of days
post #16 of 24
Thread Starter 
Oh my God I am an adult cat now do I get any prizes??

Anyway Here is my update:

He came home from my Aunts at about 5 15 pm and we were getting along great about 15-20 minutes later my gma came over and sometimes we get along and sometimes we dont. well any way she walks into my home (my bf and I live alone) and she gets into my face and says we need to talk like i am a little girl and she said that she wanted to wait till my bf got home. Anyway my bf is very good with talking some of you already know and the whole time she was here things got a little heated but nothing major. No this here what i am going to say is personal so I dont want no one to judge please. I used to do drugs I used to smoke crystal meth weed and do coke from the time i was 12 till 16 I am now 20 and havent done anything in years. One the other hand my bf smokes weed to go to sleep and my lil bro found out and told my gma he smoked when we were in our bedroom when my bro was sleeping. And I tell my gma the truth about everything. Well she got in my face and told me that i was a drug addicted knowing i didnt do anything and she didnt bother to ask. So anyway it got all heated in my house she took my lil brother and barely gave me 5 minutes to say goodbye to him I thought it was going to be the last time i would see him, she said she would take him to the airport. Well my aunt called and said cody was on his way over to her house and for me to come over so we could talk this through so i ran over there well my aunt and i and my brother talked for a very long time and to make that story short things were going good and at the end my aunt asked me if I wanted to work things out and I said of course I do and she asked my brother the same thing and he said NO I was shocked!!!!!!!! and so was she we asked why and he said he just didnt want to. I explained to him that i loved him and will always be here for him no matter what and he said i know but i hold a grudge so we talked a lil more and we said good night i came home he text me to bring the rest of his things. I have to be up in 3 and a half hours to pick him up at my aunts so we can all take him to the airport. I just hope that he will come around. I am very hurt that he didnt want to work things out before he left. But that is the update tomorrow when I get home from the airport I will write more, Sorry its such a long story..........
post #17 of 24
oh honey, I am so sorry. I really hope things start looking up for you soon!
post #18 of 24
Oh, that sucks.
I'm sorry. I hope your brother comes around. I'm sure he will when he realizes how supportive you have been compared to how some retarded, close-minded would have reacted in the same situation.
post #19 of 24
I'm so sorry this is happening.

Please be gentle with yourself for the next few days - this has really been too much altogether.
post #20 of 24
Hun, let me tell you something. i am a 15 year old and i can tell you that we talk alot of stuff. i say mean things to my big sister when she makes me mad and i never mean it. just give him time and he'll get over it. we have bad attitudes and we hold grudges .lol. especially with what he is going through right now i would just give him some space. i'll keep you in my prayers.
post #21 of 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by JESSIEnKITTY
Hun, let me tell you something. i am a 15 year old and i can tell you that we talk alot of stuff. i say mean things to my big sister when she makes me mad and i never mean it. just give him time and he'll get over it. we have bad attitudes and we hold grudges .lol. especially with what he is going through right now i would just give him some space. i'll keep you in my prayers.
You are a very wise fifteen year old!
post #22 of 24
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by JESSIEnKITTY
Hun, let me tell you something. i am a 15 year old and i can tell you that we talk alot of stuff. i say mean things to my big sister when she makes me mad and i never mean it. just give him time and he'll get over it. we have bad attitudes and we hold grudges .lol. especially with what he is going through right now i would just give him some space. i'll keep you in my prayers.

thanks a lot!!!!!!
post #23 of 24
That's the 1st thing I keep thinking... he's 15?! And a boy...who we all know mature later than girls. Don't take anything he says to heart.... I mean, I was rough at 15, and I wasn't contemplating my sexuality... from your other threads it seems he is a very lost/confused previously abused boy, who is desperately trying to find his place in the world, and unfortunately that doesn't include making/keeping you happy as his top priority. I tortured my sisters...and we're the best of friends now (I'm 28, they are 25 & 22). Give him his space, let him know you still love him, and that you are there if he needs you, let him know that you are sorry things ended up the way they did, and that you want to get past it when he's ready. Then leave him alone... Teenagers don't care how you feel when they say hurtful things... some of them don't have the mental capacity to think beyond themselves... I'd just give him time & space...keep the line of communication open for when he's ready.
post #24 of 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by kittyprincess
Oh my God I am an adult cat now do I get any prizes??
At least let me to give you a Hug for reach that Top, in this hard time for you! Congratulations Adult CAT!
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