Anyone else have horrible mother-in-laws?

I'm sorry this is so long, but I guess there is some background info I need to clarify... I 5/6ths of the way done with pharmacy school, and I may or may not be able to finish... long story, but things are looking good and I probably will be able to. Anyway, so during the time I was waiting to see if I could finish, I finished a bachelors in comparitive religious studies just for the heck of it.

My BA degree was official last week, I got my diploma and summer course grade in the mail. My husband and I had planned to go to a wedding this weekend, but Sneakers had her kittens and my mom said she couldn't watch them, so I stayed home.

Hubby goes with his parents to St. Louis Friday morning, and hubby promises me they'll get back today in the afternoon so that we can spend some time together to celebrate this evening. His mom even told me (before she knew anything else) that they were going to get back early tonight so "Danny can get his rest."

His mother decides to keep them there in St. Loius all day, as if the whole weekend wasn't enough. Hubby calls me and swears there was nothing he could do about it, they drove him there. She didn't want to go to the zoo or out to lunch today until he told her that we were having a dinner to celebrate my minor accomplishment.

I know getting a BA in religion is not a big deal, but his mother is out to sabotage everything between my husband and I. I swear... this is by far not the first time she has done something like this.

When hubby graduated a few years ago, of course he had a HUGE party with out of town family members and got hundreds of dollars... I haven't even gotten a card or congratulations yet... from anyone. They didn't even care that I decided not to walk in May, they didn't even ask about it. When hubby said he didn't want to walk a few years ago, they threw a fit and made a big deal of it and basically threatened him if he didn't. (I didn't want to walk because this little degree wasn't my goal... I am hoping that I can finish pharmacy school.)

I'm so ticked off. I can't wait to move away from this drama. My mother is so gracious to Dan, and she often takes his side because she's ornery like that. Why can't my MIL at least pretend to be civil? She's so passive-agressive. Ugh. Does she ever stop to think that newlyweds might NEED their time alone? That I only see him when he comes home to sleep or eat because he works two jobs so I can focus on school? Is is wrong of me to wish that something horrible would happen so that we could all put this behind us? Screw this. I honestly can say I hate her, at least I hate what she did to her son who can't stand up for himself or us because of her.

I know that's harsh, but before we got married, she said she'd do anything in her power to keep us apart. And she wasn't kidding. We've been married over two years now, and every month there's something new that she does that I am sure she thinks makes us rethink our relationship. One time, one of our kittens scratched my husband on the face... she saw it and went to the cops, saying that I was abusing him They laughed her out of the office, of course... but still.

She blames me for her son growing up. He's an only child, and she's an elementary school teacher... and up until we got married, my husband served as her surrogate husband because her real husband is very aloof (heh... wouldn't you be married to someone that manipulative?). I haven't produced any grandbabies yet and I don't plan to, so in her mind, I'm not worth anything and I am to be blamed for anything and everything.

Thanks for letting me rant. Do any of you have any MIL stories?

All I want to say is Congratulations

on the degree. Minor or not, you achieved a goal. As to the other, I'm sorry and wish I had advice but I like my MIL better than my own mother. So instead I'll just send hugs

If I were to start posting about my MIL I would hijack the forum. She is a very difficult person to understand. I feel you on what happened this weekend.

Congratulations on your degree.

I could write a book about my MIL, and that is as much as I will say about her on a public forum.

Thanks, guys. Go ahead and rant about your own MIL... I like to hear stories. It takes my mind off my own MIL.

Congrats!!!!
on your degree, and I used to have a monster-in-law, but I got out of the whole family entirely

First of all, congrats!! A BA in anything, even not your first choice, is great. And good luck finishing up the rest of your schooling!

And yes...I have a horrible future MIL...her antics are similar to yours. As lookingglass said, if I started in about her I'd hijack the whole forum, lol. Says one thing, does the opposite. All I can say is try to avoid her, although we all know how hard that is. I try not to have contact with her unless I ABSOLUTELY have to.

Okay, if you want a rant on my MIL here it comes. My MIL is incapable of living alone. She has moved in with my SIL a few years ago, and refuses to move out. She pays no rent, buys no food, and won't help around the house. A few weeks ago she needed to buy a new car. She had the gall to ask us, my husband and I, to cosign a car loan for her. She works two part time jobs, at over 50 hours a week, so we couldn't figure out why she needed help with the loan. We refused to do it, so she cried, and moaned for a few days, making everyone's lives miserable. She finally went to a friend of the family and got his help with the car. She has NO insurance and a 400.00 a month car payment. Now, this would be bad if this situation wasn't the norm.

Congratulations on your degree!!!! That's awesome that you were able to do that while waiting to finish your other degree... think about how employable you will be!

I'm sorry about your Mil. If you want to laugh or be horrified, go here... there's some pretty aweful ones.

and I hope it gets better.

My mil used to be pretty bad. She was mean and manipulative. My husband has always stood up to her though, and his sister recently started standing up to her. I think this change in her daughter, and the fact that neither my husband nor myself allow her to behave inappropriately have changed her. She's actually really pleasant to be around now and I truly enjoy our visits. I don't know if it was something hormonal, or if it was just because her kids laid down the law. Every time she would do something inappropriate we would say "that was inappropriate, you can't say things like that", etc. It seems to have worked. The thing is your husband has to be willing to put you first and to stand up to his mom. Counseling might be the only way to get their relationship back on track, or to get you two away from the situation. Sometimes moving is the only answer. Regardless, your hubby has to stick up for you and your marriage.

I don't have a horrible MIL just the contrary, my husband has a horrible MIL.

MY parents are the very definition of Mommy and Daddy dearest. Just read my post about feeling depressed and it has a link to all that they have done.

If I even mention my MIL's name, the house would set ablaze on it's own... Mine is satan herself.
About 2 weeks ago she wanted my husband to help fix her car (actually just check the oil ) and she went to his work and picked him up. Would you believe she asked him if he wanted a beer? (He's a recovering alcoholic and she knows this). I was ENRAGED! He refused it of course and refused to check out her car. He told her to take him home and she wouldn't and wouldn't let him use her phone. He ended up walking to a payphone and calling my work COLLECT to get me to pick him up.... and this is just a teeny tiny itsy bitsy bit of what she's done. She's not allowed in, at or around my house and she knows what will happen if she does come around

Congratulations on your degree! *throws confetti*

My mother-in-law isn't bad, but when combined with my sister-in-law, sparks can REALLY fly. One Christmas culminated in a call to the Sheriff when words were exchanged. My husband and I missed it, as we'd stepped out for a few minutes, but my stepson was there. I was MORTIFIED.

I love them dearly, in small doses.

Congratulations on your degree! You should be proud of yourself for that accomplishment!

My MIL is pretty bad herself. Constantly spreading rumors through the family and always saying she'll do one thing but doing something COMPLETELY opposite. On the day of our wedding she almost decided she wasn't going to come because her dog was sick. Now I'm down for staying with your furbabies when they are sick but the dog had been sick for awhile, why did they have to choose our wedding day to take the dog in? Really, I just don't like how she treats my DH... she has 3 kids and has 2 favorites... darn it, I didn't marry a favorite! (what was I thinking? )

That's okay, she could be much worse, and for the most part she leaves us alone and I don't think she is set on breaking DH and I apart or anything. I just think that she doesn't think about her actions before she makes them.

Sorry your MIL was so bad to you

First CONGRATS!!!!
As for MIL I know what you mean! However hubbys mother is from hell and my mother is right next to her! They both are horriable to us!

Congrats on the degree! Any degree is worth celebrating because it requires so much time and energy!!!

My worst MIL story (she's pretty bad all around, but this takes the cake): After my first child was born, she didn't speak to hubby or I for a month because at the hospital the day after giving birth apparently I was grumpy and wasn't letting her hold the baby enough. OK.... I had a 3rd degree episiotomy and was in substantial pain. MY mother was helping me change diapers, learn to nurse, etc, so she handled Annabelle more than my MIL. After they left my FIL actually had the gall to call my husband to tell him to "get his wife under control." For the first time in his life, hubby told his father he could (expletive) off! I was very proud of him.

I should have also added congrats on the degree, def something to be proud of!

First things first-CONGRATS on your degree!! That is a big accomplishment

Im sorry your MIL is such a *hag*. DH and I just recently made up with his MIL. She and I had a HUGE blow out fight several years ago and we didnt talk to her for at least 2-3 yrs! But anyways-best of luck on your situation dear.

Welldone on the degree thats wonderful.
Sounds like you hubby needs to get celebrating with you. maybe this weekend coming can be your degree celebration.
I am so sorry. she sounds a complete bitch to me.
My mil law is a nightmare too.
Hubby also a Dan and an only son.
I have not seen them for 3 years now ( bliss) but Dan and Amy visit.
Least my Dan is wise to them now. the early days were hard when he acted powerless and could see no wrong with them.
He plans his visits to avoid the myiad of delays she acts out and takes his own watch as she changes the clocks to make him late.
Its pathetic and I can laugh now.
Oh I used to rage for a week after each visit and can still burn with hate for them
The trick is to limit your time with them ( personally I would not visit and you will be amazed how it limits your husbands visits if he is like Dan- he will want his wife around) secondly give them zero information so she can not make use of it. I won't let Dan say when we are going to Florida so they don't follow ( they have a house there)
Good luck
I stick to a saying these days. only have people around me that love me and want the best for me. does she qualify??!

Originally Posted by Meowsas

Welldone on the degree thats wonderful.
Sounds like you hubby needs to get celebrating with you. maybe this weekend coming can be your degree celebration.
I am so sorry. she sounds a complete bitch to me.
My mil law is a nightmare too.
Hubby also a Dan and an only son.
I have not seen them for 3 years now ( bliss) but Dan and Amy visit.
Least my Dan is wise to them now. the early days were hard when he acted powerless and could see no wrong with them.
He plans his visits to avoid the myiad of delays she acts out and takes his own watch as she changes the clocks to make him late.
Its pathetic and I can laugh now.
Oh I used to rage for a week after each visit and can still burn with hate for them

The trick is to limit your time with them ( personally I would not visit and you will be amazed how it limits your husbands visits if he is like Dan- he will want his wife around) secondly give them zero information so she can not make use of it. I won't let Dan say when we are going to Florida so they don't follow ( they have a house there)
Good luck
I stick to a saying these days. only have people around me that love me and want the best for me. does she qualify??!

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Definitely... my husband is at the powerless stage, and only recently got out of the not being able to see her manipulation/"what the heck did she do that was so wrong??!" stage...

Thanks everyone for the congrats, stories, and advice. We had a nice chat once he got home and I think he understands that he needs to make her understand a few things. I also found out (okay, well I knew she thought this way, but I didn't think she'd actually say it) that she blames my husband's stress and bout of depression on me, entirely. What a load of crap.

I will definitely try to keep my visits to a minimum, but it's hard when she lives ten minutes away and always seems to need my husband's help with something, and then is horribly upset if I don't have dinner with them. Ugh. Can't wait until I have the money to MOVE AWAY from it all.

Hopefully, things will look up... but not until we can move. For now, I just hope hubby has the guts to say what he says to me to HER face.