This thread has been very helpful and has gotten me to think about a few things.
One reason I don't know about these things is because my mother never talked to me about anything. I got my period when I was 11 1/2 (young) and because my mom never mentioned anything about it, I was terrified and thought I was dying. It was traumatic. She never discussed sex with me ever and my first doctor I went too I was brought to by my (thankfully responsible) friend to a family clinic to get BC. Still when my mother discovered I was on BC, she still never talked to me about it, but instead stopped talking to me even more (ashamed) and I was 16-17 years old. It was a bit sad now that I look back on it and vowed I would never raise my girls that way. It also didn't help that I missed the "movie" and talk in school that every girl and boy sees too cause in the town where I lived they did it in 7th grade and I moved at the end of 6th grade. When I started 7th grade at my new school, the had the movie in 6th grade.
So basically I was clueless on everything unless my friend explained it to me. Again - not how I wanted my girls to be brought up and I've even told them - your friends will tell you a lot of things, that's fine, but please talk to me so you know what's true. Due to how I was brought up, I am very open with my girls and our relationship is very good. I'm sure there are things that they don't tell me, but that's to be expected.
So pretty much what I'm kinda getting out of this whole conversation is - maybe wait until she's a little older (she's not quite 15 yet) unless there is a concern - health, or irregular periods (which she has and we'll keep an eye on). Also explain to her in detail what they do there, and what to expect and why they do it.
I think what they should do is schedule an appointment with the gyno where the do an entire exam EXCEPT the internal. I think they should do this for a couple of years so the girls get use to undressing, having their chest examined, etc. THEN after a couple of years begin the internal exam. Don't you think that would go smoother? and maybe be a little less intimidating? My kids Pedi has NEVER checked them there. She also pretty much hasn't really asked about their periods (hence - why we have switched).
Anyways - thank you all again. This has been a very informative conversation!