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Teenagers and the Gynocologist (sorry guys!) - Page 2

post #31 of 49
My mom took me when I was 15 because I had very painful monthly cramps. I went on the pill and never had bad cramps again! I wasn't and still am not to this day, that uncomfortable going. My mom made sure from an early age that I was well educated about sex and my body. She also got me a lot of books for learning. I thank her for that now.
post #32 of 49
what an interesting convo. My daughter is 14 and I hadn't even thought of it.......... BUT her ped does "try" to take a peek down there when she goes there but she FREAKS at dr's appt (it is embarassing with how bad she is) and won't let him (yes her dr. is male and we have talked about switching but think she would be the same either way) even look there anymore. She does not want to grow up and hasn't told me if she has had her period or not etc........
post #33 of 49
Concerning losing your virginity, I wouldn't be so sure about anything even if you and your daughter do have a great relationship. One of my friends in high school lost hers when she was maybe 14 and wouldn't tell her mom or anyone else because she was ashamed of it and embarrased... I lost mine forcibly at the age of 8 and still haven't told my parents and I'm 21. I really really hope nothing like either of those happens to any of your kids, but it does happen sadly enough. Plus I think if my mom had made it more comfortable for me to go to the obgyn I wouldn't be so scared about it, I still sweat through the gown and I love my doctor so much he's my regular doctor and my gyn doctor (student health center, he kind of has to do double duty!) and sits and talks to you for half an hour and then does the exam as quickly as he can do it well, and never assumes anything, says things like "If you are using the pill for birth control" etc.

I think the best thing a mother could do would be take her daughter with her to an appt and have them wait in the waiting room when she's still young and even after. It makes it less scary and also brings up the topic in the most subtle way I could imagine bringing it up. Like, my parents left a copy of a book called "the miracle of life" or something, a really hippy 70s book with pictures of births and babies in the womb and happy couples with their newborns and such. I always used to secretly read it.
post #34 of 49
I was just barely 17 but only because I had an ovarian cyst and had no other choice. I also have heard 16 or 18 unless they are already active
post #35 of 49
I was 15 so I think it is a good age........
post #36 of 49
My father had me see the GYN at 15, because my period was so erratic. The doctor put me on a low dose birth control to help even things out. I've been going every year since.
post #37 of 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alli-Kat
GEEZ! I think at 13 I may have still been playing with my barbies...gosh.
Same here.
post #38 of 49
Thread Starter 
This thread has been very helpful and has gotten me to think about a few things.
One reason I don't know about these things is because my mother never talked to me about anything. I got my period when I was 11 1/2 (young) and because my mom never mentioned anything about it, I was terrified and thought I was dying. It was traumatic. She never discussed sex with me ever and my first doctor I went too I was brought to by my (thankfully responsible) friend to a family clinic to get BC. Still when my mother discovered I was on BC, she still never talked to me about it, but instead stopped talking to me even more (ashamed) and I was 16-17 years old. It was a bit sad now that I look back on it and vowed I would never raise my girls that way. It also didn't help that I missed the "movie" and talk in school that every girl and boy sees too cause in the town where I lived they did it in 7th grade and I moved at the end of 6th grade. When I started 7th grade at my new school, the had the movie in 6th grade. So basically I was clueless on everything unless my friend explained it to me. Again - not how I wanted my girls to be brought up and I've even told them - your friends will tell you a lot of things, that's fine, but please talk to me so you know what's true. Due to how I was brought up, I am very open with my girls and our relationship is very good. I'm sure there are things that they don't tell me, but that's to be expected.

So pretty much what I'm kinda getting out of this whole conversation is - maybe wait until she's a little older (she's not quite 15 yet) unless there is a concern - health, or irregular periods (which she has and we'll keep an eye on). Also explain to her in detail what they do there, and what to expect and why they do it.
I think what they should do is schedule an appointment with the gyno where the do an entire exam EXCEPT the internal. I think they should do this for a couple of years so the girls get use to undressing, having their chest examined, etc. THEN after a couple of years begin the internal exam. Don't you think that would go smoother? and maybe be a little less intimidating? My kids Pedi has NEVER checked them there. She also pretty much hasn't really asked about their periods (hence - why we have switched).

Anyways - thank you all again. This has been a very informative conversation!
post #39 of 49
I'm sure it was everyones pleasure to help!!

P.S. Your cats are just beautiful..Wow
post #40 of 49
My mom might not agree with "too much information" to a degree... My mom left out a book about sex and gynocology for me to paruse through when I was a kid, and being a nosy and giggly girl, I was reading that thing 24/7...well, one day there was this school class where the mothers were there to take part in a class dicussion about sex. We were all supposed to write a question on a piece of paper and the teacher would put them all in a box and draw from the box and read them out loud, so it was anonymous and no one would be embarrassed. All the questions were pretty normal, when will I get my period, where do babies come from, etc....until MY question came up, my mom knew instantly that it was my question. I won't go into detail but I asked something about a specific and disgusting disease that I had read about in the book my mom gave me, and none of the girls even knew what it was, and when it was read out oud my mom covered her face and turned beet red. No one noticed of course, but the teacher looked a little taken aback, but no one knew it was my question except my mom and I...she still talks about it to this day....
post #41 of 49
Its difficult accepting the emerging woman in the little girl I am sure.
Amy and I have already had some talks about the birds and the bees!
She was with me in a public toliet one day and my period started ( we were on our own in london) She was very alarmed and thought I was dying. so in the st pauls cathedral toliets I got to make a brief explanation! even i felt shy coming out to the queue of woman waiting for the loo and felt like saying did I miss anything? any facts wrong?!
Oh how we rely on what our mothers told us in those moments. welldone mum!
She has the where did I come from book and I have a more grown up one for when puberty strikes.
I was 12 when I got my period. Don't know how old my mother in law was.
I love sex and being a woman and my main concern apart from pregnacy and aids/std is she will grow to love her body and its abilities!
My husband was raised being told sex was bad and dirty and had no clue about a womans body. it was a shame and took us a little while to overcome the mental damage done there.
His mum hates sex.
Our sexuality is a gift. thats what I want to get across to my little girl.
post #42 of 49
Personally, I'm well into my 20's (um, actually closer to 30 than 20...gulp) and I've never been to a gynecologist. My reason is that I'm still a virgin and my periods are trouble-free except for normal cramps and they've been like pretty much like clockwork since I was about 15. I view it like the other parts of my body - there's no reason to even suspect it's broke, so I can't see looking for trouble.

When I was in high school it was a non-issue because even though my mom and I have never been close, she definitely knew that I didn't even have a boyfriend. The subject never really came up. I guess if she'd felt strongly about my going then I would have gone along, but as it was it just never happened. At this point, barring any problems I'll probably see an ob/gyn sometime between when I get married and when my husband and I decide to have children. Until then, I personally don't really see a need.
post #43 of 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by lisasha3
This thread has been very helpful and has gotten me to think about a few things.
One reason I don't know about these things is because my mother never talked to me about anything. I got my period when I was 11 1/2 (young) and because my mom never mentioned anything about it, I was terrified and thought I was dying. It was traumatic. She never discussed sex with me ever and my first doctor I went too I was brought to by my (thankfully responsible) friend to a family clinic to get BC. Still when my mother discovered I was on BC, she still never talked to me about it, but instead stopped talking to me even more (ashamed) and I was 16-17 years old. It was a bit sad now that I look back on it and vowed I would never raise my girls that way. It also didn't help that I missed the "movie" and talk in school that every girl and boy sees too cause in the town where I lived they did it in 7th grade and I moved at the end of 6th grade. When I started 7th grade at my new school, the had the movie in 6th grade. So basically I was clueless on everything unless my friend explained it to me. Again - not how I wanted my girls to be brought up and I've even told them - your friends will tell you a lot of things, that's fine, but please talk to me so you know what's true. Due to how I was brought up, I am very open with my girls and our relationship is very good. I'm sure there are things that they don't tell me, but that's to be expected.

So pretty much what I'm kinda getting out of this whole conversation is - maybe wait until she's a little older (she's not quite 15 yet) unless there is a concern - health, or irregular periods (which she has and we'll keep an eye on). Also explain to her in detail what they do there, and what to expect and why they do it.
I think what they should do is schedule an appointment with the gyno where the do an entire exam EXCEPT the internal. I think they should do this for a couple of years so the girls get use to undressing, having their chest examined, etc. THEN after a couple of years begin the internal exam. Don't you think that would go smoother? and maybe be a little less intimidating? My kids Pedi has NEVER checked them there. She also pretty much hasn't really asked about their periods (hence - why we have switched).

Anyways - thank you all again. This has been a very informative conversation!
I think this is a fantastic idea! The internal could be pretty scary for someone her age. I remember being 14 and thought I was going to die because my mom wanted to take me. I wasn't sexually active at that age, so nearly hated her for it, lol. I wouldn't make her get the internal until she is 17 or so, unless *gulp* she becomes sexually active some time soon. *Fingers crossed that doesn't happen*. What a wonderful mother you are to be so concerned over your child's emotional well being and comfort level, kudos to you Lisa!!
post #44 of 49
It is a touchy subject for sure, and I hate to say how times and things have changed. My Grandaughter moved from home to her Fathers last year, she has had alot of problems or I guess she was a somewhat problem child. Knowing that she was sexually active, I called her one day and told her you need to protect yourself, I will get the information for you on where to go, and then you can decide. I also told her even if you don't want to go PLEASE go do it for me, because you don't need to start your life with a baby, and she went the very next day, I was so glad. None of us know for sure what the kids are doing anymore and I just think were better off somehow assuming that they are doing things even if we don't like it. Its not about giving them permission to do things we don't approve of, but chances are they are doing it or are going to... Better safe and healthy then full of that fear and the fact that we know sometimes they don't make very good choices.
post #45 of 49
My mom insisted that we went yearly for PAP smears as soon as we started getting our periods.

In my case 11, in my sister's case, 9.

It was the same for my nieces.
post #46 of 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by semiferal
Personally, I'm well into my 20's (um, actually closer to 30 than 20...gulp) and I've never been to a gynecologist. My reason is that I'm still a virgin and my periods are trouble-free except for normal cramps and they've been like pretty much like clockwork since I was about 15. I view it like the other parts of my body - there's no reason to even suspect it's broke, so I can't see looking for trouble.

When I was in high school it was a non-issue because even though my mom and I have never been close, she definitely knew that I didn't even have a boyfriend. The subject never really came up. I guess if she'd felt strongly about my going then I would have gone along, but as it was it just never happened. At this point, barring any problems I'll probably see an ob/gyn sometime between when I get married and when my husband and I decide to have children. Until then, I personally don't really see a need.
That's how I felt...I didn't go until I was 20 which was right before we got married...I wanted to get on birth control so I went a couple of months before our wedding. Well I have stopped taking the birth control b/c I was having really bad reactions to it. I haven't been back since the first time....and I probably won't go back until we decide to have children...I am 22 now and we were planning on having children around 25 or so
post #47 of 49
Well my mom never offered though I'm sure if I asked she would've taken me. I'm pretty open with other people but discussing that stuff with my mom makes me very antsy.. She was very protective of me with boys in HS. I couldn't have a boy in my room alone at age 15.. I didn't become fully sexually active until age 17 and about to go to college anyway. My mom took me to a "grown up" MD when I was about 20.. I didn't end up having an gyn exam then b/c I had my period.. I was wicked relieved. At about age 22 I went to another PCP, and they did a pap smear as part of my physical, as well as a quick exam. I had a couple others over the years since then as it is required for birth control, but I have never been to a obygyn. I haven't been to the doctor in a year or two.. I stopped taking my BC last year.. Probably in a year or so I will start trying to have to have kids so it would probably be a good idea to start seeing one. BTW I'm 28.
I think it's important at some point to have a pap smear in your late teens early twenties. You may also want to start her on the pill, not b/c she is sexually active but for cramps and stuff.
post #48 of 49
I just rememberd something. I used to get Teen Magazine when I was younger and I remember them running a very good article that talked about everything that would happen at the gyno. It was informative and very well done.
post #49 of 49
Thread Starter 
Thanks again all! I think this discussion has been very informative to all of us. I know I"m not the only one out there with girls whether they be daughters, nieces, grandaughters, etc. I know I learned a lot here.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Trouts mom

P.S. Your cats are just beautiful..Wow
Thank you very much!
We've since added a little foster boy to our "female clan". He's a beauty too! I'll be posting pictures soon.
Oh! and thank Christine (Cagnes) for the beautiful siggy. She's very talented.
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