Please help!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi everyone, I am so glad I found this site, and I hope someone has experienced this problem or has advice that will work. I am so sorry it is so long.

I lost one of my babies a year ago, leaving my other baby very sad and without his brother. I call them babies, Flopple, who died was 7, and Bisk is 6. About 6 months ago I bought a kitten for Bisk, it took a day or two, but before I knew it they were in love. Bisk took Tyron (the baby) under his paw and loved him, they played, gave him baths, ect. 4 weeks ago I took Tyron to get neutered. I brought him home; let him out, everything seemed ok so I went back to work. I got home that night and I saw fur all over. The kitten was shaking and scared to death, and the older cat immediately attacked him while I was standing there. It was horrible because the kitten was sore and obviously this had been going on all day. I felt horrible!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So I immediately picked up the baby and took him in my room, tried to make him feel better. I was so mad at my older cat, however, I loved with him after to show him everything will be ok. I kept them separated, only communicating under the door for a few days as the vet suggested. Every time I tried to “introduce” them again, the older cat would attack him as if he was trying to kill him. The kitten never fights back. Finally, one day I saw them playing under the door and touching noises, I was so happy. I let the older cat in. Now the kitten (with good reason) is spitting, hissing, and growling, whenever the older cat when he tries’s to sniff him. The older cats has finally chilled out a little it, but when the kitten acts this way, the fight is on. It has been 4 weeks, they are still fighting. I am beside myself; very sad and so afraid I am going to have to get rid of the kitten, whom I fell in love with. The other bad part is, I have given up my bed room for this kitten so he feels safe (this is his favorite room) plus the vets (all three I have asked) told me it was best not to move the kitten from a room I took him to “save’ him and left him in for awhile. I cannot sleep in there because I have the litter box, food and everything in there, I simply cannot sleep with the litter in there. I have to spread my love around, spending time in each room with each cat, very time consuming. I am so tired and getting very frustrated. One vet told me this could be 6 months to a year!! If there’s anyone that has been through this or knows of someone, can you please tell me what he or she did? 2of the vets told me to spray them with water (because we all know you cannot spank a cat)when they fight or look like they are going to fight. Then I read online it is not right to do that, it makes things worse. It is one of those cases where you research so much everyone says something different. The vets have told me this is not unusual however anyone I talk with has never had it happen, including me in the past.

Thanks Denise

I'm sorry to hear that you and the cats are having a horrible time living together. I haven't had this experience personally but have read where others have had this problem as well.
First, I think your older cat freaked out because when his new buddy came back from the vet he didn't smell like his buddy.
Something you might want to try is take an old shirt of yours and wear it around the house for about 1/2 hour and do it again with another shirt. Rub one shirt on one cat and do the same with the other shirt. Let them sleep on those shirts. After a few days switch the shirts so they can smell the other cat and your smell on that shirt.
I have also read where people have put a little drop of vanilla extract on the back of each of the cats neck so they smell the same.
I have no idea how long the kitten will take to get over this trauma.
There should be other people along real soon that might have experienced this that would be of better help to you.

I wish you the best of luck and hope things work out soon for all of you.
Susie

I had similar situation with different kitties. What ended up working was locking the two in the bathroom with me. If they hissed I would point the nasty finger or growl. If they purred I pet them and hugged them. Eventually they figured it out and stopped the constant fighting.

I've heard that vanilla works - also you may try Feliway - it reproduces the hormone that cats secrete and "mark" with. (You know, when they rub every surface of the house with the corner of their mouth.) You can get a spray or a plug in. Humans can't smell it.

Spraying with water has the same or similar results as spanking a cat. They will see your hand as the enemy and fear it making you the bad guy.

Anyways, for your problem. Unfortunately yes it could be 6 months or more before they come around. Key is you have to be patient.

Definately buy Feliway/Comfort Zone plug ins and put them throughout your house. Try the vanilla extract on their chins, necks and base of the tail, but it has to be PURE vanilla extract.

If the kitten is the main one that is freaking out now and he is most comfortable in your room that would be best to keep him there. Then he can be comforted by you too. Why can't you keep the litterbox in your bedroom? Just because of the smell? It isn't like he is going to poop multiple times during the night. Feed him before bed, then take him to his litterbox and allow him time to go, then bring him in the room and don't feed him again til morning and he probably won't stink up your room much if that is the concern.

Just remember to be patient, search on here for additional suggestions. Act like you are introducing two completely strange cats for the first time. Start over. And please don't give up on your baby and get rid of him just for this. He cannot help being timid around a cat that beat him up. At least the older cat calmed down a bit. But think how scared he will be to have to go to a whole new home with new smells and new people and maybe even new animals. That will be way more stressful and intimidating to him.

Thank you so much, this made me feel better! And yes, I can't sleep in there because of the litter box, it just has that smell because it has been 4 weeks having it inthere. I am willing to sleep on the sofa for my babies though.

Thanks, Denise

Thanks, I will try this!!!!!!

I have hear this froma few peole, a little drop of vanilla extract on the back of each of the cats neck so they smell the same. So I am for sure going to try it. The thing is I am sure they nkow who each other are being they love each other undr that darn door!