Anyone Else have Family Issues

PLEASE distance yourself from them/.///

I did from my father and while it was hard my emotional health is far better...

All this stress has triggered a migraine. Oy Vey.

Most of my family is ok... but my mom is a very "pity me" kinda person who tries to make me feel bad constantly. So I just don't call or visit much. It got to the point where I was having major anxiety attacks when I knew I was gonna see her... then I just had to stop. I think, she makes me feel bad, why do I wanna feel bad? I see her on x-mas, call for her b-day & mother's day. And that's it.

My inlaws are even worse... I am surprised that my hubby turned out as well as he did. And he still has so many issues. It's like he was raised by wolves. He's 31 and she still makes jokes about how she smoked, drank, and did drugs the whole time she was pregnant and her kids turned out fine. That's debatable...Then she makes "jokes" about how she's had so many abortions she's still trying to chase him around with a coat hanger. To put it nicely she should be shot and put out of her misery. Before she ruins anyone else. I stay away from them too. It caused too many fights cause he still feels like he has to "take care" of her, that's the way she makes him feel. So I see them x-mas, easter etc. That's it!

Oh family issues...
I never had the luxury of being able to ask my parents for money because I have more than they do... and I'm dirt poor.
I'm just going to say, Butterfly Dreame, that I know exactly what you're going through and in pretty much everything you've said so far. I have PTSD from numerous things in my childhood and recently. I don't have any kids and I'm not married, but other than that I do know what you're going through.

Right now my dad is once again trying to sabotage me going to college, which is freaking awesome. All I ever ask of him is to fill out the stupid paperwork for financial aid once a year so I can go to college-- he doesn't even have to pay anything, just fill out three pages of paperwork-- and it always turns into a HUGE deal. One time he wouldn't talk to me for six months cause I said a "bad word" when we were oh-so-calmly discussing it. Not at him even, just in the conversation. He has it right now and its due on the 9th... sent it Priority Mail and he's had it for a week and he's "still working on it". And it's not like he has a job or anything keeping him busy. He just won't do it because he has to admit on paper how he ruined everyone's lives financially and continues to. Okay hijack over, that's just a sampling of what's wrong with my family this week.

The best thing you can possibly do for yourself and your children is to make nice with your family when you have to for whatever reason, and refuse to let them interfere with your life any other time, or let their problems become your problems. You do have your own family now, and the absolute best thing you can do is learn from the stuff that has happened to you and do your best to break the cycle, which it sounds like you're doing.

Oh and I wouldn't worry about Family Services. For one thing, they will realize that there's nothing wrong with you and it's the woman who keeps calling and lying/reporting you who has the real issues. I'm sure they've seen it before.

My parents wouldn't sign any of my fiancial paperwork because they believe I should be debt free. I had been financially independent from them since 19.

I fianlly got married! Hopefully when I get the marriage certificate I can finally file as an independent. It is getting really difficult to go to grad school without a stipend and financial aids.

Well the first time we lived in MD. Now we live in NC.

So it's two different departments.

I'm having a hard time processing thought right now.

Migraine since last night.....

Stupid stress.


I think I am at a point right now where I just would be better off without them in my life. I don't need to continue to let them drag me down....over and over again.

I don't need the guilt trips or the bad mouthing of my husband or our parenting.

My daughter (she has Asperger's syndrome--high functioning autism), has been so much worse since we started spending time with my folks again.

She was doing so much better when there was no contact. Now her language skills have dipped, her behavior has worsened.....

And they don't even pay attention to our son, it's like they don't really care about him cause he is also a product of my husband who they despise.

Which isn't fair to my son.

Speaking of whom, I have to get some lunch for him.

I'll check this back later but I wanted to say, Thank you!

It helps to know I'm not alone.

My parents wouldn't sign any of my fiancial paperwork because they believe I should be debt free. I had been financially independent from them since 19.

I fianlly got married! Hopefully when I get the marriage certificate I can finally file as an independent. It is getting really difficult to go to grad school without a stipend and financial aids.

I have Asperger's syndrome also.

Do you really? I've never run into anyone else with it.

How has it been for you growing up with it?

It would be interesting to get a perspective from someone with it, that maybe would help me better understand my daughter (she's nearly 7)

My family now isnt even biological.. But I am there daughter.. That is all my kids and me need...

Well see that's part of the problem with my fam.

My daughter is from my previous marriage and they refuse to acknowledge that my husband could possibly be seen as her father.

To her, that's daddy.
To him, that's his little girl.

That's all that matters. My ex isn't in the picture hasn't been and won't be.

Originally Posted by ButterflyDreame

Do you really? I've never run into anyone else with it.

How has it been for you growing up with it?

It would be interesting to get a perspective from someone with it, that maybe would help me better understand my daughter (she's nearly 7)

Click to expand...

Well I had to be semi-homeschooled (homeschooling is illegal in Taiwan). My husband also had to be homeschooled. Both of us are fairly intelligent and my husband has a 4.0 GPR (extremely rare in Texas A&M). I was one of two people who got a Reagents Fellowship ($20,000 a year) in the Genetics Department in 2004 but I lost it soon afterwards due to some troubles with my brother-in-law's ex girlfriend's jealousy problems. It is a recurring problem with me and chicks. So nowadays I stay away from unmarried chicks as much as possible.

Everything is fine until Junior high. It all blew up in a giant mess. Everybody always complained about high school but I had more troubles with junior high. It got so bad I had to come to U.S. because I was getting beaten up pretty bad every day.

Make sure you work dilligently on your marriage. To this day I believe that my autism had something to do with my parent's breakup.

I actually love high school. I was voted student of the year when I graduated. It is cool to be in another country because any oddities I have can be attributed to the fact that I was "foreign"

The biggest problem for me right now is that I say the most inappropriate things in public, especially sexual things. My brain doesn't know how to stop. As the result guys always love me and chicks always hate me with a passion. I had a lot of trouble with chicks trying to sabotage me out of jealousy, so I pretty much hang out with the older, married people now.

Also, I ran into a lot of problems in another cat forum because I was always going off-topic. My brain automatically connects everything with everything else in seconds and it finds the direct connection that other people cannot see. People think I am brillant but I always get in trouble because I would say something and people would be like "how did you get this from that"?

Well right now my daughter is saying that kids call her 'crazy'. Plus she takes things the wrong way.

Some kids were calling her "Jacks" her name is Jacquelyne. She said they were calling her a boy name and she didnt' like it.

We had a problem at the beginning of the school year at the old school cause they insisted that she write out her full name and she was used to being called Jackie. So she was insistant that Jacquelyne wasn't her name.


She's very bright.....at the age of 18 months her language skills were phenominal. (she pointed to the washington monument and said "Look mommy an obelisk"). Not something one would usually hear out of a 2 year old.

But right now it's just behavior problems we are having....extreme emotional sensitivity.

Same with me. I am extremely sensitive to remarks but I learned how to read at age 2.

Amazing.

I hope I am not going off-topic.

Don't use medications to correct it. It is a gift from God. It had given me more heartaches than I can ever remember but it also helps me think differently from other people.

She cries at the drop of a pin, just the slightest raise in tone of voice and she thinks you are yelling at her.

I'm just really concerned right now cause she's been using 'baby talk' to speak to us. She has a hard time understanding the concept of friends. She is always upset cause she says no one wants to be her friend. I have a hard time understanding her explaination though.


Course my folks want to say it's cause we are doing something to her at home (they refuse to believe that anything is wrong with her)....same folks don't believe in any mental disease or defect.

She's been dx since she was 4. I mean quick too, the doctor observed her, no wait...the ped psychiatrist, the developmental pediatrician, the child psychologist and the child occupational therapist all observed her at different intervals and all concurred with the diagnosis immediately.

I mean heck, she re-organized the developmental pediatrician's toy box.

By toy type.

In her room everything is lined up a specific way and if anyone touches it, she notices.

I am extremely sensitive to noise. It hurts my brain. I am pretty sure that's why she has been acting out.

The longer I stay in grad school the more people I meet with Asperger's Syndrome. It is very common among professors. It is God's gift for thinking differently and it has resulted in some extremely brillant people. I can only hope one day I'll become one of them.

It is not a mental disease. It is a gift and a curse (more gift than curse). The brain neurons fire differently than other people and they have different connections. It is a totally different way of thinking. The physiology is different.

You might want to homeschool her when she reaches Junior high age. Junior high kids can be so cruel.

I didn't mean to infer that it was a mental disease or defect. Asperger's has gifted her with an incredible intellect.

When I was referring to mental health issues (which is how I should have worded it) I was referring to myself. It's a shame when people think of mental health issues they immediately judge someone. But I have PTSD, Major depression, Borderline and Avoidant personality disorder (the borderline and Avoidant personality disorder is a direct result of my upbringing).

My ex husband (my daughter's bio dad), claimed to have bipolar and dyslexia. We are afraid that my daughter may have both bipolar and Asperger's. She has such a hard time sleeping. (is that a problem for you as well and what do you do for it).

On most days in a matter of speaking I'm okay but I have my moments.

According to 'my parents' I just need to get over it. That nothing is wrong with me. Or that the flashbacks and such....are not something that is caused by the past, but because I have problems in my marriage (nothing could be further from the truth, my husband does his best to help me stay well).

It isn't his fault some other guy screwed me up.

Well, I had PTSD also....However, it is going away, especially since I got married.

I had never been worried about my PTSD. The way I see it is that I almost got myself killed two years ago, so PTSD would be normal for me for at least a year afterwards. I just wish I had taken a year off grad school right after the incident.

Don't ever talk to your parents about anything bad about your husband. The way I see it parents never forget anything bad about your significant other......I never talked about anything bad about my husband to my parents, and my parents like him.

I've got PTSD cause of the trauma my ex put me through.

This is the website about that

http://rmh9903.bravehost.com/index.html

Trauma always get more intense when there are cats involved. People always think "Oh it is just a cat".

They are wrong.

The fact was that the loss of Chester was in a way more important to me than the near loss of my life.

I think trauma is more intense when any animal or other helpless persons or animals are involved.

I don't think I ever mentioned the abuse toward my pets to the shrinks I was seeing. I had only just remembered it (one of many blocked memories) after it was mentioned in this thread.


Also...just a note, I had a dog named Chester when I was a teenager, he was a sweetie and he got out of the yard and I watched as he was hit by a car. Very traumatic for me.