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Heartbroken.....

post #1 of 26
Thread Starter 
My cat had 3 kittens on March 29 2006. My boyfriend is saying we must get rid of two kittens...we can only keep one!! I am heartbroken and devastated by this. I have tried and tried to change his mind...but there is no pushing an unmoveable force. I have grown so attatched to these kitties!! I'm a "stay at home ""housewife" type and I am with them all 24/7. I want to keep them all!! I do not want to break up the litter!! Isn't it hard on them to seperate them?? What must they think if their little brother or sisters are taken away from them???? Cats are my passion...ever since I was 3 I have had a cat....I don't know what to do....so sad about the whole idea. I'm putting off putting an ad in the paper...I don't want just anyone having my babies!!!!!!!! How do I know they are going to a good home??? My friend wants them, but she has an adult cat that she doesn't take care of and never takes to the vet!!! It always has fleas and now it has a drooling problem!!! There is NO WAY she will get one of my babies!!!! It's so hard to trust people.....We aren't charging anything for them...so god only knows what kind of people will get them!! And I just read in the Patriot News a week ago about a girl that went and answered an ad for a "free kitten" , so she got this kitten, only to take it to a boys house so they could watch his pitbull dog attack it and tear it to shreds!!!! I was HORRIFIED!!!! And very very angry !!!!!!! What should I do? How do I know someone else isn't going to subject these poor innocent gods creatures to some fate worse than death?????!!! Anyone.....please....any suggestions?????
post #2 of 26
Maybe contact your local humane society or rescue group, sometimes they will list your kittens on the petfinder site as a courtesy, and you really should charge an adoption fee, if a person wants a kitten and is plannig totake care of it, they will be willing to pay an adoption fee, of say 30 dollars. Don't ever say FREE, I'm sorry your boyfiend won't let you keep them.
post #3 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by katiemae1277
Maybe contact your local humane society or rescue group, sometimes they will list your kittens on the petfinder site as a courtesy, and you really should charge an adoption fee, if a person wants a kitten and is plannig totake care of it, they will be willing to pay an adoption fee, of say 30 dollars. Don't ever say FREE, I'm sorry your boyfiend won't let you keep them.

I agree, most human society's do an extensive background check on the people that are going to adopt their kitties, might be worth looking into.
post #4 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by Peppy_Le_Mew
My cat had 3 kittens on March 29 2006. My boyfriend is saying we must get rid of two kittens...we can only keep one!! I am heartbroken and devastated by this. I have tried and tried to change his mind...but there is no pushing an unmoveable force. I have grown so attatched to these kitties!! I'm a "stay at home ""housewife" type and I am with them all 24/7. I want to keep them all!! I do not want to break up the litter!! Isn't it hard on them to seperate them?? What must they think if their little brother or sisters are taken away from them???? Cats are my passion...ever since I was 3 I have had a cat....I don't know what to do....so sad about the whole idea. I'm putting off putting an ad in the paper...I don't want just anyone having my babies!!!!!!!! How do I know they are going to a good home??? My friend wants them, but she has an adult cat that she doesn't take care of and never takes to the vet!!! It always has fleas and now it has a drooling problem!!! There is NO WAY she will get one of my babies!!!! It's so hard to trust people.....We aren't charging anything for them...so god only knows what kind of people will get them!! And I just read in the Patriot News a week ago about a girl that went and answered an ad for a "free kitten" , so she got this kitten, only to take it to a boys house so they could watch his pitbull dog attack it and tear it to shreds!!!! I was HORRIFIED!!!! And very very angry !!!!!!! What should I do? How do I know someone else isn't going to subject these poor innocent gods creatures to some fate worse than death?????!!! Anyone.....please....any suggestions?????
I am going to run into the same problem as you I have 5 3 1/2 week old babies that I am so attached to(as are the kids) I am a stay at home mom as well, and I dont like the thought of getting rid of them!! I am trying to talk my sister into at least one(shes a animal lover) but her hubby told her no more cats.....we shall see. I might keep one(i hope to) and anyways, wish you the best of luck hun!! *hugs*
post #5 of 26
If you have to give them up, definately charge at least $20 for them, and you could use it, say, as a deposit for getting them spayed/neutered. As soon as the new mommy or daddy does that and brings back proof, they get their money back. People who want to use kittens for evil things (grr....) won't pay the money for one.

I think they do okay being seperated after a little while, especially if you could find a great home to take in both kittens! I think company is a big help in getting them adjusted, I know my Chaynal never seemed much like he was missing his mom or littermates since I brought a brother home with him to play with. Best of luck!
post #6 of 26
Hey...if you can afford to take care of the momma and all three kittens then why can`t you keep them?
Linda
PS maybe you could put an ad in the paper and find a new home for the boyfriend??? (Just kidding!)
post #7 of 26
There should be some stickies that give info on how to properly screen potential adopters. Like other's have suggested, contact no-kill rescue groups to see if they will help you place the babies.
You should also think about fostering mom-cats and kittens, then you always get to have the kitten experience (while the group usually pays for food and vet bills!) but your boyfriend won't see it as you "owning" extra cats. Plus, you'll be helping out in a big way!

Oh, and the kittens don't really notice that they don't stay with their littermates. If they were wild, Mom cat would chase them all off at some point to go have lives of their own, so as long as you're letting them stay with her until they're old enough, they'll be well adjusted and happy in their new homes.

~Julia
post #8 of 26
Thread Starter 
Thank you all!!! I am sending him an email with your advice.....maybe it will help.....lol!! How old do you think is "old enough"???? ((great way to keep them longer)) LOL Mainly he doesn't want to keep them all because they don't stay little forever, and he is stressing over the furniture and his "stereo surround sound system"....((one little daredevil already put a snag in one of his speakers...aaarrrggghh)) But I believe in just telling them no when you see them do something wrong, and steer them away to focus on one of their toys, or the box they have to chew and destroy....along with the scrating post.......I know you can train them good!! Mama kitty was a stray...never in a house before..she was terrified of people and it took us a month to let her get close to us...finally we were able to bring her indoors....and would you believe she is a cat that loves "bath time"???!!!! She sits still and doesn't fuss!!! Amazing if you ask me........Thanks everyone!!!!! I loved the comment about putting in an ad for my boyfriend!!! Believe me..I'd like to sometimes!!! HAHAHA
post #9 of 26
10-12 weeks is that best time to give the kits to their new homes. Also are you planning on getting Mama spayed as soon as the babies are weaned? don't want an unexpected litter again
post #10 of 26
Thread Starter 
DEFINATELY!!!!! But she is in heat right now...meowing and howling...wiggling her butt high in the air at us....she wants back outside to "get some"...LOL
post #11 of 26
I'd toss my husband out before I'd get rid of any of my babies. I guess I'd have to ask you if you really want to spend your life with "an unmoveable force" ? What demand will he place on you next ? Don't allow yourself to be dependent on this guy and ruled by him. Trust me, I know you're worth more than that and I don't even know you !! If you're not equal in the relationship I'd run for the hills.

Whatever happens, I hope you are able to find the best homes for your babies. Spaying your momma cat will prevent this from happening to you again. I know I'd NEVER be able to give up babies so I feel your pain.
post #12 of 26
This sucks for you, I wish you could keep them.

Its a good idea to charge a fee for adoption I think. I would say $50 would do it...then if noone adopts them, you can just say oh well, and then you get to keep them

No, but seriously, it really is too bad.. Your boyfriend won't budge? I don't see what the big deal is if you are at home all the time and will take care of them yourself.
post #13 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by katiemae1277
Maybe contact your local humane society or rescue group, sometimes they will list your kittens on the petfinder site as a courtesy, and you really should charge an adoption fee, if a person wants a kitten and is plannig totake care of it, they will be willing to pay an adoption fee, of say 30 dollars. Don't ever say FREE, I'm sorry your boyfiend won't let you keep them.
On another note, I just wanted to mention that when we were looking for a kitty, we would have adopted a free one, and we are not psychos at all. We ended up paying $80 for Trout in the end which was worth it of course..but I just wanted to say that not all people are planning to do harm if they want a free kitty

Generally though,I do agree that it would be easier to know the adoptees are serious if they are willing to pay a little.
post #14 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trouts mom
On another note, I just wanted to mention that when we were looking for a kitty, we would have adopted a free one, and we are not psychos at all. We ended up paying $80 for Trout in the end which was worth it of course..but I just wanted to say that not all people are planning to do harm if they want a free kitty

Generally though,I do agree that it would be easier to know the adoptees are serious if they are willing to pay a little.
Oh I know that not everybody that gets a free cat is planning an evil deed, but I feel you just can't take the risk, you never know. It's a generally recommended thing that you charge at least a small adoption fee to weed out evil doers
post #15 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by katiemae1277
Oh I know that not everybody that gets a free cat is planning an evil deed, but I feel you just can't take the risk, you never know. It's a generally recommended thing that you charge at least a small adoption fee to weed out evil doers

Yep I agree, I just had to say that..to make sure you all know I'm no psycho
post #16 of 26
Check out the pregnant kitty forum.
http://www.thecatsite.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=36
You will find lots of great advice.

One idea if you really love kittens is to become a foster Mom for a cat rescue agency. Often they cannot help out cats because there is no one available to care for them. My agency pays for all the vet care...all I do is love them and scoop lots of litterboxes. They also screen carefully for the new adoptive parents, and take the kitties back if there is a problem later.
post #17 of 26
#1, is your boyfriend supporting the kittens? If not, he really doesn't get a say IMO. As for his concerns about his stereo and furniture, well, things are replacable - lives aren't. Regardless, they are KITTENS, and being kittens they will go through the kamikazi commando kitten stage. But he's right - they won't be kittens forever and with patience and training, they will know what is appropriate to scratch and what isn't.

#2 ALWAYS charge something for kittens so that won't get your kittens for laboratories or dog fighting training or other nefarious things. People who can't afford an adoption fee won't be able to afford vet care either, and things always seem to have more "value" to some people if they put down money for it.

I'll move this to SOS for you.
post #18 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by stampit3d
Hey...if you can afford to take care of the momma and all three kittens then why can`t you keep them?
Linda
PS maybe you could put an ad in the paper and find a new home for the boyfriend??? (Just kidding!)
I was thinking the same thing Linda....

I know every relationship is different, but my husband knows better than to TELL me I can't have something or do something! HA! I totally respect his wishes and feelings, don't get me wrong, but he knows he can't TELL me what to do.........if he told me I had to get rid of any of my babies, we'd have our first and probably only MAJOR FIGHT and I guarantee, I'd win!

God luck....I hope you find a solution for the little darlings, but I agree, don't give them away for free.
post #19 of 26
Thread Starter 
Well, they haven't had their shots yet......should we get them their shots first before trying to have them adopted??? Yes, he is actually the one that pays for their food, care, etc.etc.etc....it's such a mess....On one hand I see his point ...but........................................I have a hard time letting go...
post #20 of 26
Thread Starter 
They are just too cute and cuddly......
post #21 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trouts mom
Yep I agree, I just had to say that..to make sure you all know I'm no psycho
that doesn't prove anything!!!! we all know you're a crazy cat lady just like everyone lese on here
post #22 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by Peppy_Le_Mew
Well, they haven't had their shots yet......should we get them their shots first before trying to have them adopted??? Yes, he is actually the one that pays for their food, care, etc.etc.etc....it's such a mess....On one hand I see his point ...but........................................I have a hard time letting go...
Yes....you should have all appropriate shots done before placing them...also if possible, try to get them spayed/neutered. Many low cost clinics will spay/neuter kittens as early as 8 weeks of age. I would call around. You can charge their spay/shots fee as the adoption fee. Also, there is a really good PDF called "how to find homes for homeless pets"...you can find it here:

http://www.natewood.net/Rehome.html

Katie
post #23 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by katiemae1277
that doesn't prove anything!!!! we all know you're a crazy cat lady just like everyone lese on here

Crazy cat lady I can accept...It's a little different from psycho I think
post #24 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by Peppy_Le_Mew
They are just too cute and cuddly......
Oh my gosh! They are sooo cute I can`t hardly stand it....(my fingers are itching to pick up those baby kitties and stroke that sweet momma cat!)
She just looks so contented to be a mommy....and she reminds me of our Toby and Baby Harley....she looks like she has swirrlies in her stripes....i could see better if I could reach into the puter and move a couple of her babies.
I`m praying you find wonderful homes for the 2 that you don`t get to keep.
Which one are you going to keep? (Or is it too hard yet to chose?)
Linda
post #25 of 26
Thread Starter 
Yes, her markings are quite unique I thought!!! The one is a carbon copy!! But the two black...we had thought were solid black, but no...the male((Bear)) has the unique stiped swirly markings as well as a smidgeon of white hairs...so few that you can hardly see them, but that is how we tell the black ones apart!! The very few strands of white are down his legs and a speckle on his chest!! The female black one((Squeakers)) has the striped swirly markings...but no white that we can see yet...If I am made to choose one to keep((the way it looks now)) I choose the black male((Bear)) I call him my BabyBear because he is the one that climbs up to me all the time and snuggles tight against me and curls up and goes to sleep!! Plus, all's I have to say is..."Where's my BabyBear?" and he comes a runnin!!! Sometimes it is so precious, he looks almost as if he is sucking his thumb!!! I love the striped carbon copy female((Peppy Le Mew as we call her))...but Bear is the cuddler...Peppy Le Mew is exactly her name...she is so darned peppy!!! Doesn't sit still for an instant...and she went, " mew mew mew mew" all the time when she was born. Squeakers...well..she tries to cuddle, but Peppy gets her in trouble..she's a follower and she sounds like she's squeaking instead of mewing!!! Where do you live Linda????? You can have them!! I would feel 100% safe having a fellow forum member care for my little precious wonders!!!!!!! Here are some more pics!!!!!!!
post #26 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by Peppy_Le_Mew
Yes, her markings are quite unique I thought!!! The one is a carbon copy!! But the two black...we had thought were solid black, but no...the male((Bear)) has the unique stiped swirly markings as well as a smidgeon of white hairs...so few that you can hardly see them, but that is how we tell the black ones apart!! The very few strands of white are down his legs and a speckle on his chest!! The female black one((Squeakers)) has the striped swirly markings...but no white that we can see yet...If I am made to choose one to keep((the way it looks now)) I choose the black male((Bear)) I call him my BabyBear because he is the one that climbs up to me all the time and snuggles tight against me and curls up and goes to sleep!! Plus, all's I have to say is..."Where's my BabyBear?" and he comes a runnin!!! Sometimes it is so precious, he looks almost as if he is sucking his thumb!!! I love the striped carbon copy female((Peppy Le Mew as we call her))...but Bear is the cuddler...Peppy Le Mew is exactly her name...she is so darned peppy!!! Doesn't sit still for an instant...and she went, " mew mew mew mew" all the time when she was born. Squeakers...well..she tries to cuddle, but Peppy gets her in trouble..she's a follower and she sounds like she's squeaking instead of mewing!!! Where do you live Linda????? You can have them!! I would feel 100% safe having a fellow forum member care for my little precious wonders!!!!!!! Here are some more pics!!!!!!!
Trust me....if i did`nt have 2 already, and all i can afford...even though they are all 3 darling...that little tiger would win my heart!!!
Linda
PS I live a little ways from you too...I`m in central lower Michigan!
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