Thank you for your kind words. It is really hard, and even though it was probably for the best, I still feel terribly guilty and remorseful. Two years ago I had to put my other geriatric cat down, and I waited so long because I couldn't do it, that she was so emaciated and weak it was a crime. I didn't want to repeat that mistake, and make Mozel suffer like that, but I can't help thinking that maybe she had a chance to survive and I didn't give it to her. I feel the same way as I did with Sparky, that I made so many mistakes, and that it is my fault they got sick in the first place. intellectually, I know this is totally out of our control , but emotionally I blame myself.
Anyway, thank you for your support. I really needed it and it helped me tremendously.