Ok ladies what would you do???

abigail · Apr 13, 2006

Tell. Tell tell. if you dont Brad will feel worse that you didn't. becaue he WILL run into him. Tell.

abbycats · Apr 13, 2006

Originally Posted by jlutgendorf

I agree with telling him in a way that let's him know you're not pleased with the discovery. "oh my god, you won't believe who moved in across the street from us! My crazy exboyfriend! Now i'm gonna have to make sure to avoid him when go out front, he creeps me out . . . blah blah blah"
I think if you phrase it that way (which is also truthful) then your boyfriend should have no reason to be jealous. He should be concerned FOR you, not concerned about what you may do!

~Julia

I agree with this!! You don't have to be explicid about what you did with your ex years ago in private... Just crazy ex boyfriend is sufficient enough.

gailuvscats · Apr 13, 2006

I would tell him that you ran into an old boyfriend and guess what he lives across the stree. I would not tell him it was the person I lost my virginity to or any other details other than the guy's a nut and it didn't work out.

jugen · Apr 13, 2006

Ok, I am going to let him in on this........ I hope he doesn't get all freaked out...

catsknowme · Apr 13, 2006

Originally Posted by Kaleetha

I agree with jlutgendorf... however (this is something I wish I'd learned way earlier) your private past is your private past, no one and nothing should make you uncomfortable talking to your partner. If you choose to leave, er, certain things out, I think that is absolutely your choice.

Good luck with this situation!

I have to agree with Kaleetha! It is YOUR private past and between you and God, IMO!

cheeseface · Apr 13, 2006

Originally Posted by fwan

Sorry to butt in, Wyan you sound so much wiser than the guys around my age, i wish they were like you

Thanks, but I'm not that special Fwan. I've got over 10 years on guys your age, so I sure hope I'm wiser than them.

eburgess · Apr 13, 2006

I would tell your boyfriend about the new neighbor. It would be better if y ou did that then him finding out later... as for the ex, ignore him, or tell him to leave you alone. He'll get the picture.

rockcat · Apr 14, 2006

Originally Posted by jugen

Ok, I am going to let him in on this........ I hope he doesn't get all freaked out...

Soooo... how did it go?

deb25 · Apr 14, 2006

Originally Posted by Hydroaxe

I've read some interesting points about honesty in the past. I don't think being "openly honest" means you should open up every event ahead of time that might make your significant other uncomfortable and that seems to be the gist of what I've learned from what I read. It's not really your husband's business whether that old boyfriend was your first since it happened in the past and it is guaranteed to make hubby uncomfortable.

That this guy was your first isn't really relative to your husband's daily life, unless of course the guy starts a conversation about it. I think your husband should be on a need-to-know basis. If I was your husband, I wouldn't want to know about this guy either unless it came up. Then, I would only want to know what was relevant to what came up. You not liking this guy for being a little "off" does not have to include that you were intimate with him in my opinion, unless it's absolutely necessary info.

I think this is a well-worded version of what I was going to say. I think you should tell him 'ex-boyfriend', but there is no need whatsoever to delve into just how intimate the relationship was or wasn't.

fwan · Apr 14, 2006

Originally Posted by Hydroaxe

Thanks, but I'm not that special Fwan. I've got over 10 years on guys your age, so I sure hope I'm wiser than them.

Ive been out with men who are 25 or so and their mentality is still like 15.

I just cant date guys who are 19 or 20... they just act too young

BUt back to the topic GOOD LUCK!

alexa · Apr 14, 2006

Tough one... I had a very similar situation once. My first "serious" boyfriend moved to the town where I was living (even though for the 3 years that we were together he always said he hated my town!"). He rented a place just down the street from where mine

It was very freaky but I didn't tell the guy I was seeing at that time (it was a bit different though because I wasn't living with the new guy).

We all have pasts. "Need-to-know basis only" sounds like a good tactic....

jugen · Apr 15, 2006

I told hubby and he took it fine thankfully. I was nervous because I didn't know what to expect.
Fortunately he knows that I'm a homebody and would rather spend time with the cats then most people so I'm sure he's not considering that anything would happen (at least I hope not) I don't go out of my way to talk to this guy, so hopefully we can coexist as neighbors without talking to each other(much) until we can afford to find a forever house. This house (so he keeps telling me) is just temporary, we will be able to afford a better one after it's paid off. So I cross my fingers and hope. I want a house with windows that you can actually open(can't do that here, they are to old and have no screens) and two enclosed porches(like this one has), Brad wants a pool(EEK!), maybe some land to build an outdoor enclosure for the kitties, one story with a finished basement. That's all I want. pretty easy for me at least, Brad, now the pool might have to wait.

sanctie · Apr 15, 2006

Originally Posted by Phenomsmom

I would have to say be honest. But also tell Brad that he need not worry about anything because he is the one you want. Then try not to talk to the ex or talk to Brad aobut the ex at all.

I agree, be honest and let him work through his own jealousy with lots of reassurances from you.

Ok ladies what would you do???

abigail

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abbycats

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