cant put up with it anymore..

Im so upset and fed up,my cats are driving me insane and im thinking about giving them both up.The fights a getting worse,its really violent now. But thats not just it, both of them seem to be going insane and running around up and down the stairs attacking things on the way,i know cats like to play but this just seems different and i cant stand it anymore. I wouldnt call it playing id call it freaking out! Iv had to put lily outside in the yard and i never ever do this cos shes an indoor kitty,im trying to calm her down cos she seems to have "kill freda" on the brain. She cant get out of the yard its pretty secure for her so il leave her there for a few minutes.

This is serious because i love them both but im not sure how much longer i can cope with this.I might give them both to my father in law,this may sound harsh but at the minute i just cant cope with it,plus im going to london 2moro and they'll be alone for a night.I dread to think what they will get up to. I have a very active toddler to look after and i dont want him getting in the way of their fights. I feel really guilty about even thinking about giving them up but i dont see any other option,i cant even keep them seperated cos i have an open plan sitting room so theres no doors seperating the stairs from sitting room. I hope someone can help me with this big problem,any advice will be very apreciated.
thanx.

First of all don't panic. Your in my area aren't you?!. Can you not leave them in seperate rooms while your in London?.

Describe how they are with each other?

How old are these cats? It is helpful if you have problems with them, that you keep your comments all in the same thread so that people who haven't a clue (like me) can keep up with what exactly is going on here.

Well it was ages ago since i last wrote on the behaviour thread.Basically they hate eachother,lily is the worse one its like shes keep trying to kill freda.At first i thought she was just playing but now its just different.They cant walk past eachother without getting into a violent fight.The stupid thing is is that they'll eat in the same area no problem,i guess they'll do anything for food.I suppose i could keep them in different rooms when i go away.Lily is back in now and has calmed down but i know that it will happen again and again.Lily is 2 and freda in 16 so huge age gap there,do u think that could be the problem?

Has the 16 year old been to the vet? A new cat can put an awful stress on an older cat and can cause health issues. When cats get sick- regardless if we notice or not, their feline friends do because the scent changes. Generally, the one getting sick will be attacked by the stronger and healthier of the two- a colony mentality and a fight to be Alpha.

freda has been ill with a bit of sickness,shes fine now and the vet gave her the all clear.Iv heard something like that before but i thought birds did it.Thanx for telling me.

Yup, fighting seems to be in the air! And I understand your worry & frustration, esp. with a small child in the home! Here's an article that may have some tips to help you, titled "Feline Social Behavior & Aggression Between Family Cats"http://www.ddfl.org/tips.htm Also, you could try spraying Feliway in the most "battle-prone" areas.
Hissy is right about health issues - it could be that Freda, the older one, is having some issues that aren't apparent, but that Lily smells in Freda's scent. I had rescued an older cat who had kidney issues, and when the other cats acted out towards her, I'd know that she needed to go back to the vet.
Also, make sure that Lily is in good shape, too! If she's already spayed, then tumors on the ovaries won't be an issue, but I am assuming that at 2 years she would be spayed already.
You might try spending time with Lily outside; plus I'm sure that your son would enjoy the nature walks. I have been taking Joey & JC outside for strolls twice daily, and they are much happier & don't mind being inside at night so much.
And, if you have too, maybe you could send Lily to your FIL for a while, to give Freda a break. And remember, YOU are the Dominant Supreme One of the colony; the peace & safety in your home depends on this!
Please keep us posted - this squabbling & sometimes all-out-war happens so frequently here, that any & all suggestions are appreciated! And you may find out a thing or two that will work great for some of the others with the same kinds of issues.
Hugs & hope things calm down quickly for you! Susan

Thankyou very much everyone,i think i should do what you say and take lily out for a bit it might calm her down if im lucky.Thanx for all your tips and suggestions

I feel for you, but don't have much advice. I pray that your situation becomes more bearable soon. I know how a stressful home life can just tie you in knots. And since we are the ones in charge, we should be able to do something, right? Well, sometimes I just don't have a clue, but it helps to talk sometimes.

Peter and Snow will tie up and the fur will fly occassionally. It is usually when Snow comes in from outside. Peter is mostly an indoor cat (his choice, not mine), but Snow would usually rather be outside in the yard or hanging out in his tree. Snow has learned how to open the door, so, he kinda comes and goes on his own. I don't know if Pete smells a strange cat on Snow or what, but they were doing evil stares this morning at breakfast and I had to scold Peter several times for instigating a feud.

My cats are very smell oriented. Maybe yours are smelling something too?

Yeah this could be what is happening here with mine,Maybe lily just doesnt like the smell of freda and finds her offensive.I suppose il just have to grin and bear it for the moment.