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I want to go on a date

post #1 of 24
Thread Starter 
I think I've mentioned in a couple of posts that I'm a nun, so that kind of rules out going on an actual date. Hope this doesn't shock anybody, but I've only been in religious life for 6 1/2 years and I did date and even had a couple of serious relationships before I entered.

Anyway, I'm completely committed to my vows, but every now and then,
I get to thinking how nice it would be to get dressed up and go out for a fancy dinner and maybe dancing with a nice guy. Nothing more than that, just the chance to feel attractive and special for just one evening. Does that sound terrible?

Since this is unlikely to happen, I might as well think big, so I'd really love my companion for the evening to be George Clooney. I actually met his mother, Nina, at a local charity event last year, but we didn't talk about her son. Missed my chance, I guess.
post #2 of 24
Awww Eileen . Maybe get another male cat... and name him George Clooney? I know it's not the same thing but still....

I'm not too familiar with the vows, but could you at least go out to lunch with a guy (nothing romantic, just enjoy their company)? Would that tide ya over a bit?
post #3 of 24
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by ugaimes
Awww Eileen . Maybe get another male cat... and name him George Clooney? I know it's not the same thing but still....

I'm not too familiar with the vows, but could you at least go out to lunch with a guy (nothing romantic, just enjoy their company)? Would that tide ya over a bit?
Awww, Amy. You're so sweet! I've actually thought about naming my next male cat George!

I do have a few good male friends and coworkers so it's really not male companionship I'm missing so much as a little romance.
post #4 of 24
Eileen how strict is your religion?. Are you saying you can't date at all?
post #5 of 24
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by rosiemac
Eileen how strict is your religion?. Are you saying you can't date at all?
Well, I'm Catholic and could certainly date if I was still technically single, but
as a member of woman's religious community, I've made vows of poverty, obedience and celibacy. The vows of poverty and obedience are pretty subjective in their interpretation but, the third one, not so much. So, no dating! I can still have male friends though.
post #6 of 24
As far as I know Eileen is Catholic.... I think that rules out casual dating


ps. I do apologise if I am wrong, but I remember Eileen saying she use to write for a catholic newspaper.
post #7 of 24
I got beaten to it!
post #8 of 24
Awww thats a shame, but i'm sure your didn't take your vows lightly.
post #9 of 24
I don't think this is horrible. You are only human, right. In fact, I think it's wonderful that you feel you can share this and get it off your chest Oooh .... George Clooney.... he has a lovely Italian villa on a lake now. Sounds dreamy to me Maybe you could have that special candlelight dinner out on the balcony overlooking Lake Como?
post #10 of 24
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by captiva
I don't think this is horrible. You are only human, right. In fact, I think it's wonderful that you feel you can share this and get it off your chest Oooh .... George Clooney.... he has a lovely Italian villa on a lake now. Sounds dreamy to me Maybe you could have that special candlelight dinner out on the balcony overlooking Lake Como?
That's exactly what I had in mind!
post #11 of 24
Wow. I think it's great that you're a nun--that takes serious commitment! The other day on The View, there was a nun and a priest who had fallen in love and got married. I don't know about her, but he's still a priest but he can't work in a church. He can still give people their last rights and stuff. They were talking about the rule of celibacy for nuns and priests and he said that he views celibacy as a gift of God and that people shouldn't be forced to be celibate.

I've been hearing a lot about celibacy in the Catholic church lately...maybe it will change someday.
post #12 of 24
long ago it wasn't the way of the church to be celibate, only in the 1400's did this become a tractable vow, because the priesthood was starting to be full of heirs to the pontificate and all that, and well.. that wasn't the way to go. God isn't supposed to be "the family business."
post #13 of 24
Thread Starter 
On a more serious note, I know many priests and nuns that really struggle with the issue of celibacy. Most have been at this a lot longer than I have and while many embrace this vow as "freeing" (because they aren't commited to a relationship with one person they feel they are more free to love and serve everyone), those some people have admitted to me that it can be a very lonely way of life.

I'm doing okay with it so far. I'm lucky enough to have a lot of people (and kitties) in my life to love, so that helps, but it's not the same. I do get kind of lonely sometimes and think about what I'm missing, but overall I'm very happy with the life I've chosen.

Okay, enough seriousness. I still need a date!


post #14 of 24
Oh dear of you sweetie. I don't think is awful I think it's lovely
post #15 of 24
Aw sweetheart - I suppose it's one of those age-old sayings that comes back to haunt really. "The grass is always greener on the other side". Temptation is simply part of what makes us all human. To be honest, I can't understand this whole "religion" business. Celibacy? Relationships, sex and the love between two people that creates children are just a couple of the most beautiful things that makes life as wonderful as it is - I can't see that as being something a God would see as being sinful. Each to their own, I guess, interpret how you will. Personally, I find God in each and every little thing I do, all of the people I meet and all of the living creatures on this planet. Apart from great big hairy spiders that steal the bath-tub. God is something within all of us, and how can we share that feeling without relationships? To share in love is to share in the divine. Oh look, I'm getting all philosophical.....

Personally I hope the views on celibacy within the church DO change - love is a sad thing to have to give up. I admire your strength in your belief, given that spiritually you must gain so much, however, I also feel sorry for the fact that your spirituality is slightly emptier for having to give up one of the most powerful forces in life. If you understand what I'm trying to say - I'm not saying you don't, because we woudln't be human if we didn't... but being unable to act on those feelings is a real shame. It makes me really thankful for the freedom of expression that I have.

I'll tell you this for nothing though, it's incredibly nice to hear from someone within the church who has taken a vow and treats it as such, not as a promise to be broken. Congrats to you on your strength - I wish I had it sometimes
post #16 of 24
I always assumed the vow of celibacy was because you "married" God? Your life is his, and the celibacy is to prove you will put no other before that committment? Excuse my crude language, I wasn't sure how to word this?
post #17 of 24
sounds reasonable to me......
post #18 of 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by LilleKat
Aw sweetheart - I suppose it's one of those age-old sayings that comes back to haunt really. "The grass is always greener on the other side". Temptation is simply part of what makes us all human. To be honest, I can't understand this whole "religion" business. Celibacy? Relationships, sex and the love between two people that creates children are just a couple of the most beautiful things that makes life as wonderful as it is - I can't see that as being something a God would see as being sinful. Each to their own, I guess, interpret how you will. Personally, I find God in each and every little thing I do, all of the people I meet and all of the living creatures on this planet. Apart from great big hairy spiders that steal the bath-tub. God is something within all of us, and how can we share that feeling without relationships? To share in love is to share in the divine. Oh look, I'm getting all philosophical.....

Personally I hope the views on celibacy within the church DO change - love is a sad thing to have to give up. I admire your strength in your belief, given that spiritually you must gain so much, however, I also feel sorry for the fact that your spirituality is slightly emptier for having to give up one of the most powerful forces in life. If you understand what I'm trying to say - I'm not saying you don't, because we woudln't be human if we didn't... but being unable to act on those feelings is a real shame. It makes me really thankful for the freedom of expression that I have.

I'll tell you this for nothing though, it's incredibly nice to hear from someone within the church who has taken a vow and treats it as such, not as a promise to be broken. Congrats to you on your strength - I wish I had it sometimes
What a lovely statement.
post #19 of 24
Eileen, maybe we can help you out a little bit and create a "virtual" date for you. So...let's see...it would be with George Clooney. Where would you like to go?
post #20 of 24
If it is permissible within your vows to go out in public wearing regular clothes and with a dinner companion, why could you not do just that? Maybe you could go with a gentleman that is also committed to his faith and would not expect anything but a pleasant evening. I once knew a nun that had kept up a friendship with a high school classmate, and they would go out to dinner and a show occasionally. He even picked her up at her residence and knew the rest of the nuns that she lived with. No one ever batted an eyelash over it. She was as committed a woman as I have ever had the privelege of knowing, and would never have done anything improper.
post #21 of 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by krazy kat2
If it is permissible within your vows to go out in public wearing regular clothes and with a dinner companion, why could you not do just that? Maybe you could go with a gentleman that is also committed to his faith and would not expect anything but a pleasant evening. I once knew a nun that had kept up a friendship with a high school classmate, and they would go out to dinner and a show occasionally. He even picked her up at her residence and knew the rest of the nuns that she lived with. No one ever batted an eyelash over it. She was as committed a woman as I have ever had the privelege of knowing, and would never have done anything improper.

I love this suggestion!
post #22 of 24
I never knew you were a nun. That's so interesting!
post #23 of 24
Trust me, dating isn't all its cracked up to be!
Do you wear a habit or are you a "plainclothes" nun?
I ask this because I think maybe it would be fun if you and some of your female friends/ fellow nuns organized a "Nuns Night Out"--make reservations at a fancy restaurant, put on fancy clothes, maybe all go see a play or you could even have a "mocktail" party with sparkling apple cider and fun finger foods.
That way, you'd have all the good parts of the date without the one part that can occasionally be dissapointing--the man!

Just a fun thought!
My girlfriends and I are a mix of marrieds and singles, the single ones wish they were married, and us married ones envy the freedom of the single girls--everyone wants what they don't have! Although, you couldn't pay me to be single again--it really can be miserable.

I do admire your dedication to your faith and am glad there are people like you willing to give their life in service to the Lord and others!
post #24 of 24
Thread Starter 
Wow. Lots to reply to this morning! First of all, thanks for all the support and understanding for my situation. You guys are awesome, as always.

LilleKat -Thanks for your kind words. They mean more than you know.

Doc-n-SamsMom - your take on the vow of celibacy is right on. Many nuns do consider themselves to be "married" to God and even wear a wedding band to demonstrate that committment. I starting wearing one after making my final (permanent) vows last year. To me referring to my relationship with God as a "marriage" doesn't quite define it, but I absolutely feel that "my life is his."

Tari - I love your idea of a virtual date with George. Ideas anyone? What should I wear? Where should we go?

Krazykat2 - Your idea of a night out with a male friend is great too, if I had
a friend who was comfortable with that. While I'd be fine with doing something like that most of the guys I know tend to be a little on the conservative side and would consider this "inappropriate." Some of my friends have really struggled with stuff like this, although they're doing better with it now. When I first entered the convent, I went out to a baseball game with a group of friends and ordered a beer. Most of them were shocked, which really surprised me. It's almost like they don't think nuns are human.

OllyExtra - I'm definitely a "plainclothes" nun. I do where a medal or pin most of the time which is the symbol of my religious order, but that's about it. I get told all the time that I don't "look" like a nun, mostly because I'm much younger that most nuns you see. I tend to dress a little more conservatively than I used to, but at home or on the weekends, I still wear
jeans and T-shirt or sweats.

A "nuns night out" is really fun idea. I know quite a few younger Sisters would agree. I'll definitely have to organize something.

Thanks again, everybody! (I'd still love to meet George whenever he's back in town )
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