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Need roomate advice

post #1 of 8
Thread Starter 
Hey all!!

I need a bit of advice. My boyfriend and I share a house with a roomate and latley we've been having some issues with him. We need to find a way to talk to him somehow to make things better. In the past expeirences I've had with him he usually becomes hostile and yelled obsenitites at us.

Anyone ever had to deal with this and have any suggetions??
post #2 of 8
Oh yeowzer, that is scary if they become so hostile and obscene!

If you do want to talk to him about it, definitely make sure your boyfriend is with you in case he really flies off the handle.

How feasible would it be for you and your bf to move somewhere else or get this guy evicted from your apt? I know neither one of those options can be terribly convenient, but you have the right to live somewhere that you do not feel bullied or mistreated!

Thinking about you b/c I know how absolutely dreadful it can be to live with mean, irresponsible roommates!
post #3 of 8
Originally Posted by ugaimes
If you do want to talk to him about it, definitely make sure your boyfriend is with you in case he really flies off the handle.
.....be careful Tracy......
post #4 of 8
Been there, done that!

Me and my room mate had a problem with this other guy - he would have violent outbursts - actually wrote me threatening notes when I told him how I felt about some things -for example, he would say that he would put me in the hospital and the only way I would be able to leave the house would be on a stretcher on the way to the hospital. That freaked me out and I went to stay with a friend.

This continued for a while, I sought advice from the police and they said there was nothing they could do

We finally kicked him out after he started stabbing the knives into the kitchen counter (thankfully not into us) and he started throwing stuff at my roommate - but thankfully her father was there as well as another male friend.

Later on, I learned he was paranoid schizophrenic, which made a lot of sense when it came to some of his aspects of his personality. Please be very careful, try and not set him off, and never be alone with him!

post #5 of 8
Honey, I am the queen of horrible roommate situations.

I'd say, get him out of there. If he is hostile and obscene, then he's putting you in a very unfortunate position. It's YOUR place and if he can't follow the rules that you have set that he is subject to (which, I'm assuming he agreed to when he moved in), then he is liable to be evicted. If he can't handle that kind of responsibility, he has no business living with someone wonderful like you.

You, this guy and your bf need to sit down. You need to lay down an ultimatum for this guy. If he can't follow house rules, then he needs to make a change or get out. It's not fair for anyone there if he doesn't.

I had the same problem with my last permanent roommate, except that she would cry uncontrollably and make all kinds of excuses. Things never got better, so I broke my lease and left. Which was not as easy as it sounds, but it needed to be done (since she refused to leave and I wanted to live alone anyway.)
post #6 of 8
If you can't get out of your lease right away, start keeping a log of all the incidents and yes, make sure you and BF put up a united front together. Could you write him a letter explaining your concerns so he has no room to get volatile at the outset?What kinds of issues with him are they? If they are UNSAFE issues, I would talk to th landlord and see if your lease can be broken with a penalty.
post #7 of 8
Thread Starter 
We had a sit down talk with him yesterday and apart from some foul langauge we were able to get somewhere. Just hoping that it lasts!
post #8 of 8
Good Luck! I hope it all works out!
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