This is too cute.
In the Washington Post Style Invitation, someone postulated that English
should have male and female nouns. Readers were asked to assign a gender
to nouns of their choice and explain their reasons. Here are some of the
published submissions:
SWISS ARMY KNIFE--male, because even though it appears useful for a wide
variety of work, it spends most of its time just opening bottles.
KIDNEYS--female, because they always go to the bathroom in pairs.
PENLIGHT--male, because it can be turned on very easily, but isn't very
bright.
TIRE--male, because it goes bald and often is over-inflated.
HOT AIR BALLOON--male, because to get it to go anywhere
you have to light a fire under it... and, of course, there's the hot air
part.
SPONGES--female, because they are soft and squeezable and retain water.
WEB PAGE--female, because it is always getting hit on.
SHOE--male, because it is usually unpolished, with its tongue hanging
out.
COPIER--female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up.
Because it is an effective reproductive device when the right buttons
are pushed. Because it can wreak havoc when the wrong buttons are pushed.
ZIPLOC BAGS--male, because they hold everything in, but you can always
see right through them.
SUBWAY--male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.
HOURGLASS--female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.
HAMMER--male, because it hasn't evolved much over the last 5,000 years,
but it's handy to have around and is good for killing bugs.
In the Washington Post Style Invitation, someone postulated that English
should have male and female nouns. Readers were asked to assign a gender
to nouns of their choice and explain their reasons. Here are some of the
published submissions:
SWISS ARMY KNIFE--male, because even though it appears useful for a wide
variety of work, it spends most of its time just opening bottles.
KIDNEYS--female, because they always go to the bathroom in pairs.
PENLIGHT--male, because it can be turned on very easily, but isn't very
bright.
TIRE--male, because it goes bald and often is over-inflated.
HOT AIR BALLOON--male, because to get it to go anywhere
you have to light a fire under it... and, of course, there's the hot air
part.
SPONGES--female, because they are soft and squeezable and retain water.
WEB PAGE--female, because it is always getting hit on.
SHOE--male, because it is usually unpolished, with its tongue hanging
out.
COPIER--female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up.
Because it is an effective reproductive device when the right buttons
are pushed. Because it can wreak havoc when the wrong buttons are pushed.
ZIPLOC BAGS--male, because they hold everything in, but you can always
see right through them.
SUBWAY--male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.
HOURGLASS--female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.
HAMMER--male, because it hasn't evolved much over the last 5,000 years,
but it's handy to have around and is good for killing bugs.
