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Thread Starter 
This is too cute.

In the Washington Post Style Invitation, someone postulated that English

should have male and female nouns. Readers were asked to assign a gender

to nouns of their choice and explain their reasons. Here are some of the

published submissions:

SWISS ARMY KNIFE--male, because even though it appears useful for a wide

variety of work, it spends most of its time just opening bottles.

KIDNEYS--female, because they always go to the bathroom in pairs.

PENLIGHT--male, because it can be turned on very easily, but isn't very


TIRE--male, because it goes bald and often is over-inflated.

HOT AIR BALLOON--male, because to get it to go anywhere

you have to light a fire under it... and, of course, there's the hot air


SPONGES--female, because they are soft and squeezable and retain water.

WEB PAGE--female, because it is always getting hit on.

SHOE--male, because it is usually unpolished, with its tongue hanging


COPIER--female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up.

Because it is an effective reproductive device when the right buttons

are pushed. Because it can wreak havoc when the wrong buttons are pushed.

ZIPLOC BAGS--male, because they hold everything in, but you can always

see right through them.

SUBWAY--male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.

HOURGLASS--female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.

HAMMER--male, because it hasn't evolved much over the last 5,000 years,

but it's handy to have around and is good for killing bugs.