Introducing new cat to resident cat

Hi all, first time poster here, but I've been lurking for quite a while.

I adopted my cat from a shelter about 3 months ago. I decided she could use a companion cause she seems bored at times, and I'd like another cat that's more interested in lap time and cuddling during the day. First cat is Gloria, a 3year old female. (Spayed)

So, I adopted a cat 2 days ago from a girl who got her from a friend and can't keep her because she's never home. (2 year old spayed female)

Brought her home, set her up in her own room. She started exploring a bit, and came over to me to rub on me and head-butt me. She was very sweet. I left the room to get some towels to lay on the couch and chair in that room so I could later bring them to Gloria. I also brought up a feather toy. When I came back up, she was still sweet and happy, but not for long. Once she smelled Gloria's scent on the toy, she started hissing and growling pretty aggressively. Ok, that's to be expected, I just left her alone for a while.

Problem is, it's 2 days later now, and she isn't any better. If I go in her room, and Gloria is sitting outside her door, or gloria's scent is on my clothes, she will hiss and growl at me. She won't come to me if I sit away from her, and I won't try to pet her while she's in that mood. (I value my skin, thanks. ) Sometimes I can go in, and she seems happy, meowing little tiny hi-pitched meows. (But won't usually come to me or rub/head-butt me.) I let her smell me, and if she doesn't hiss/growl, I pet her a little. It doesn't take long before something sets her off again, and she starts hissing/growling. (Usually Gloria sitting outside the room.)

They haven't really even seen each other yet, this is just from scent. (Gloria hasn't hissed/growled once, even when I put the towels with new cats scent on her chair.)

Today I put new cat in her carrier, and brought her downstairs so they could meet without being able to hurt each other. New cat of course did lots of hissing/growling, even before Gloria really got close. (She won't go within 2 feet of the carrier, and walked VERY slowly up to it.)

I'm concerned that if new cat is this stressed out over Gloria, that I should probably give her back, and suggest she not live with another cat. I would expect Gloria, as the resident cat to be the stressed one.

Does this just need lots more time? If the best I can hope for is for the 2 of them to simply tolerate each other, and not be friends, I'd rather find a 2nd cat that's a better match.

I really love Gloria, and want her to be happy. She's a sweet cat, but has no interest in being picked up or held for more than a few seconds, and isn't much into laps. She will sleep on/next to me most nights, and occasionally on the couch for a nap. I love that I can trust her 100% to never nip/bite/scratch me, no matter how much I pet her/touch her.

Any comments are welcome.

As you say, you'd expect the resident cat to exhibit this behavior. This kind of behavior in a new cat, especially just at the scent of the other cat, would concern me, too. I take it this cat was an only cat at her former residence? It's possible it might work out. But you haven't really bonded with the new cat, yet, nor she with you. Maybe it would be best for all concerned to be rehomed somewhere she could be the only cat.

If you want a companion for Gloria, I think a young male cat would give you the best chance at success. That's my opinion, anyway.

Originally Posted by coaster

As you say, you'd expect the resident cat to exhibit this behavior. This kind of behavior in a new cat, especially just at the scent of the other cat, would concern me, too. I take it this cat was an only cat at her former residence? It's possible it might work out. But you haven't really bonded with the new cat, yet, nor she with you. Maybe it would be best for all concerned to be rehomed somewhere she could be the only cat.

If you want a companion for Gloria, I think a young male cat would give you the best chance at success. That's my opinion, anyway.

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Yeah, I think she was an only cat. She originally belonged to a friend of the girl I got her from, they moved and couldn't take her, so left her with the friend. She's only been there about a week. She doesn't have time for a cat because of work hours.

She does seem to have calmed down some today; I was just in the room with her, and she was fine with me giving her head scritches; no hissing. She was laying on a towel that Gloria had been laying on last night. But Gloria stayed downstairs; probably kinda afraid of her after the hissing/growling when they met earlier.

I'll probably try feeding them both on either side of the door again tonight, and see what happens. New cat hissed/growled a lot when I tried that yesterday, even moving the bowl several feet from the door.

I have also heard a male cat makes a better match to a female.

As it happens, I was volunteering at the local shelter today, and saw a cat that I'd love to have. All-black, male, about 8 pounds, and very sweet. About 1.5 years old. I could pick him up and hold him for several minutes with no complaint, I could hold his paws with no attempts to nip/scratch me. Unfortunately, the staff noted "may not get along with other cats" on his record. I don't know what specifically provoked them to write that. I'll have to ask if I can take him home on a trial basis, I'm sure I'll have to pay the fee first, don't know if I can get a refund if it doesn't work out. I think they just let you pick a different cat within 30 days, but I haven't seen any other that I'd want bad enough to pay $130.

They also just raised their adoption fees, guess they're trying to hold onto their record as highest in the county. Now $130 for adults, and an amazing $170 for kittens.

you are throwing in the towel way to early. You haven't even had this new cat a week, and because she is showing normal cat aggression to the changes in her life, you want to swap her out for another that you think is a better fit? Cats are not outfits that you take home, try on and if they don't fit you take them back and ask for another. Your cats need time to adjust to each other, and you need the patience required to allow this to happen. When I bring a cat into my home, and I add new ones all the time, I don't even let the other resident cats see the newcomer for at least a week, sometimes even longer- and then it is behind a chicken wire fortified door so the cats don't harm each other. Hissing, growling, snarling, is all normal when two cats come together early-

Please read this article before you take this cat back or put her into another stressful situation and force her to get used to yet another home-

http://www.thecatsite.com/Cats/Cat_B...cing_Cats.html

Originally Posted by hissy

you are throwing in the towel way to early. You haven't even had this new cat a week, and because she is showing normal cat aggression to the changes in her life, you want to swap her out for another that you think is a better fit?

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I haven't thrown in anything yet; I was just posting asking for advice. I never said anything about wanting the black cat I saw in the shelter INSTEAD of the one I took home. And I said I was considering returning her because she seemed like she would be happier as an only cat. (And Tim agreed with me. )

Cats are not outfits that you take home, try on and if they don't fit you take them back and ask for another.

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Why do so many "experienced" cat people make RUDE comments like this when someone posts a problem, and is considering returning the cat? Sure, it may be a bit more stressful for the cat to go back to her former home (and we are talking about a home here, not a shelter) but how healthy is it for the cat in the new home being aggressive toward the other cats?

Your cats need time to adjust to each other, and you need the patience required to allow this to happen. When I bring a cat into my home, and I add new ones all the time, I don't even let the other resident cats see the newcomer for at least a week, sometimes even longer- and then it is behind a chicken wire fortified door so the cats don't harm each other. Hissing, growling, snarling, is all normal when two cats come together early-

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I have kept them apart as best as possible, it's not possible to prevent them from seeing each other briefly when I open the door to enter/exit the room the new cat is in. When I did allow them to see each other, one was in a carrier so they couldn't hurt each other.

Thanks for the article link, I had read it (and several other intro articles) long before I brought home the new cat.

Well, we all have our own opinions here, and at times they're quite different, please don't construe it as "rude" when someone expresses their opinion straightforwardly. Hissy and I both want the best for the cat as I'm sure you do. We gave you different advice; it's up to you to weigh each and take it into thoughful consideration. My thought was that if you made this decision NOW, it's much better for the cat than waiting until sometime down the road to decide it's not going to work out, when it's going to be a much greater stress. I don't think it's "throwing in the towel" now because you really haven't started yet. Your responsibility now is to do your best to make sure the cat has a good home. If you're reasonably certain that your home isn't going to be a good home, then it's best somewhere else. I'm sure you'll do what you think is best for the cat, and that's all anybody can do. Good luck and best wishes.