Will they EVER be friends?

About 2 months ago, we got a new kitten (10 months), Fez, to keep our 7 month kitty, Izzy company. we kept them separated for almost a week (I followed the article from this website). I wanted to keep them apart longer, but they just wouldn't have it! Both of them would run around the door to see each other.
At first, Izzy tried to dominate Fez...that didn't last long because Izzy weighs 4 pounds and fez weighs 8! She basically just wanted to clean him, she wasn't aggressive. Now, I feel like he terrorizes her! There has never been any blood, but she hisses at him like crazy and yowls sometimes. Recently, she has started to growl as well. I don't know what to do!
Fez is neutered, but Izzy is not spayed due to medical reasons (a signifcant heart murmur). Both cats are loving, wonderful cats to my husband and I.
Any suggestions?
Thanks!
Kris

Have the vets actually said they cannot spay her with her heart murmur? The higher levels of hormones she has might be causing a prob, as she will be giving off scents to him that she wants to mate. She will prob try and mother him cos that is what her hormones want, yet he will only want to mate her due to the smells. They may settle down in time though.

Well, to put it bluntly...you have two things conflicting right now in your cats' world. You have one kitty that is completely docile, as she's fixed and not having that type of pressure going on in her world. Then you have a kitty that does have that pressure...and you have to keep in mind that she's almost constantly going to have "it" on the brain. So, in essence, you have two totally different personalities here, and two cats that have totally different agendas in life...one just wants love, food, water, etc, and some time with you. The other spends most of her time frustrated at not having a mate, and thinking of nothing else.

Basically, Izzy sees Fez as serious competition. She sees that Fez could get in the way of her having a chance at procreating, so she's going to be a bit aggressive (especially if it's "that time of the month", or for cats, more like week). If Fez were a male (fixed or not), she would be spending her time giving her an insane quantity of affection, and trying to convince him (successfully, more often than not) to mount her. But, as Fez is female, she's competition.

This is something I've not had experience in, I'm sorry to say. I have to say that you might want to talk to your vet about this. I'm sorry I couldn't offer an actual SOLUTION, but I thought I would at least explain what's occurring, so you would be able to understand it.

Does that help at all???

Originally Posted by shesahisser

At first, Izzy tried to dominate Fez...that didn't last long because Izzy weighs 4 pounds and fez weighs 8! She basically just wanted to clean him, she wasn't aggressive. Now, I feel like he terrorizes her! There has never been any blood, but she hisses at him like crazy and yowls sometimes. Recently, she has started to growl as well. I don't know what to do!

Click to expand...

Maherwoman, the above shows that she does have one male and one female. I nearly had to check though!! That does make the situation slightly different