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Am I Guilty.. Was I wrong to say No?..

post #1 of 29
Thread Starter 
I have been sitting at my pc for about an hour enjoying reading and posting but I still can't get this out of my head.. I guess maybe because I am guilty

At work last week an old friend come to me (the same one that give me Ricky when he was a kitten). He asked me if I wanted Ricky's mom.. I asked why are you giving her up. He said she had been acting cranky the past day and had scratched his wife.. I pounder a second and asked, did you get her fixed? he said, no not yet. I said, well most likely she is a bit tempered and she is getting ready to go in heat or she may have something that is bothering her. I asked if he had taken her for a check up lately. He replied, No wasn't planning on it.. UGH!!!

Anyway. I said just give her a day or so she should be ok. From the way he had been talking she had been moody before she went in heat other times so I assumed this may be the case again. Finally I was at work yesterday when he approched me to say, hello. I asked him how his cat was doing he aburptly said, "Its your fault you should have taken her"

What the hell???

I said, "What?" He said, well you wouldn't take her so we let her out side and she has been gone 4 days if she is not back by next week we are moving with out her OMG This is crazy.. I didn't know what to say to him but all I wanted to do was give him the good old right hock to the head and a big knee to the N*TS.. Now people this is suppose to be a rightous man.. A god fearing man.. A religous man.. OK.. A christian that babbles on about god every second he can.. WELL... no offence to anyone of any religion out there but THESE ARE GODS CREATURES that he provided for us as a gift to love, cherrish, enjoy and so many more things..... GRRRR

I fear this poor cat is going to get pregnant, be left alone and scard for her life or even worse she may already be died I finally calmed down enough to go back to him and ask if he had been looking for her, His reply was NOPE.. if she comes back she does if not OH WELL.. How am I suppose to feel.. I drove around his place over the weekend to see if I could see any kitty that resimbles her but NO.. None..

I just feel so bad about this.. I keep asking myself "Why didn't I just take her?"

I didn't figure he was going to be like this.. My god I have been that upset with my own son to say HEY DO YOU WANT THIS KID, Christ I will pay somebody to take him.. But I never give him up now come on...

Ok, I am finished but I just don't know how to feel better about this..
post #2 of 29
I'd say put all your anger where it's due... on him, NOT YOU!

What a total @$$. You did nothing but expect that he cared about the cat and would wait it out... like anyone would. And he doesn't expect a female cat would be moody and go in heat? Our poor little Holly just went in heat the first time and we just got her Thursday... although we expected there to be time to have her spayed I'm not about to penalize HER for it!!!

I hope you find her. In the meantime, don't punish yourself for it!!!
post #3 of 29
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sooz123
I'd say put all your anger where it's due... on him, NOT YOU!

What a total @$$. You did nothing but expect that he cared about the cat and would wait it out... like anyone would. And he doesn't expect a female cat would be moody and go in heat? Our poor little Holly just went in heat the first time and we just got her Thursday... although we expected there to be time to have her spayed I'm not about to penalize HER for it!!!

I hope you find her. In the meantime, don't punish yourself for it!!!

Thank you for your post.. I am just so frustrated over this.. and most of all broken hearted.. He just didn't seem like the type of person that would be like this. You should have seen what he was like when he give Ricky to me. He loved that little guy.. WHAT A JERK!!!!
post #4 of 29
UGH! thats horrible of him. PLease do not feel guilty, this isnt your fault at all! You didnt tell him to throw the cat out, he did that on his own. You did what you thought was best, he should not have even asked you to take the cat off his hands because hes having troubble with it. You did nothing wrong, please do not feel guilty
post #5 of 29
That is HORRIBLE! It makes me literally sick. What a horrible, disgusting 'person' (I use that term loosely, for lack of a non-G-rated term). You shouldn't feel guilty - it's not your responsibility to care for the cat, and you had no way of knowing they would do this. I can understand why you're upset, though.
post #6 of 29
DaiDreamer, what's happened here is not your fault. It's not like this... person told you "take the cat or we dump her on the streets" and you refused under those conditions.

As for Christianity, I was raised Pentecostal and I'm now Catholic so I've seen it from both ends. All I can say is that if a person is really determined to be a blockheaded jack@ss, God won't stop them.
post #7 of 29
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by DaddyCat
As for Christianity, I was raised Pentecostal and I'm now Catholic so I've seen it from both ends. All I can say is that if a person is really determined to be a blockheaded jack@ss, God won't stop them.

blockheaded jack@ss now that has got the be the funniest name yet.. You know what I should print this off and show him what kind of a jerk he really is..

Also I wanted to say.. I don't want to offend anyone as far as their Christianity goes, I was just making a point to say.. I can't believe someone that preaches the way this person doesn't realize how precious these gifts are. (excuse the spelling)
post #8 of 29
Since I started rescue, I have had so many offers of cats. I usually refuse. One cat was raised by college boys, and would wrestle and bite. Then it started chewing up the owners blankets and sweaters when he left it alone. I honestly told the boys mother that if he, who loved the cat, didn't want him with these bad habits, no one else does either. I suggested a crate, and he got one. He started crating the cat when he left it alone, and that was enough to help the cat feel secure, and he quit being destructive.

Then a co-worker offered her 2 y/o male cat, neutered. He was too active for her, and she had finally talked her child into giving him up. Again, I told her the truth. I can put your cat in a cage and offer him to strangers at a cat show. You are a safe home, you can keep looking until you find him what you know will be a good new home. She found him a new home.

Point being, if you take every cat someone wants to palm off on you, you will be overrun. You had no way of knowing this person would dump a cat and move away without her.

Please don't hold his actions against all Christians. So many people call themselves Christians who aren't. And others miss the whole point. Just because Jesus never said, "Don't abandon your cat", doesn't mean that he should.

I am sorry your Ricky's Momma is out there alone. She deserves better. But you are not at fault, and her owner clearly is at fault!
post #9 of 29
I'd just let the guy know that he's going to burn in hell for his actions, but that's just a disgruntled Christian speaking Actually, I would tell him tha,t as it's a pretty serious violation of the post-flood covenant, but anywho, that guy is a real jerk. It is in no way your fault and I would tell him that in no uncertain terms. The fact that he would play off your sympathies for animals and your sensitivities shows exactly what kind of man and what kind of "Chrisitan" he is.
post #10 of 29
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by esrgirl
I'd just let the guy know that he's going to burn in hell for his actions, but that's just a disgruntled Christian speaking Actually, I would tell him tha,t as it's a pretty serious violation of the post-flood covenant, but anywho, that guy is a real jerk. It is in no way your fault and I would tell him that in no uncertain terms. The fact that he would play off your sympathies for animals and your sensitivities shows exactly what kind of man and what kind of "Chrisitan" he is.
Amen to that
post #11 of 29
Holy F*cking Sh*T!!!!What the heck?!?!??What sort of a sick jerk would do something like that???I just wanta barf!!It was above all not your fault!!!That sorta Crap makes me so pissed !!!Don't worry about the Christianity thing, I am an Aglican turned Babtist Turned Weslian turned Lutheren turned Catholic and I know that true people dont preach, they set examples.I am just so upset.That poor kitty, my heart weeps.When I hear of this I just want to scream at people . It is NOT YOUR FAULT!!!!!!You didn't know he was going to be a total sh*t!!Don't worry that it is your fault, he is quite truly an excellent example of slimy, spineless heartless worm syndrome found in some people.Can you tell I am really upset??I am praying for your and that poor little cat and I hope that creep understands the pain he is putting that poor cat through.You have my sincerset best wishes and good luck in trying to find that poor cat.Blockhead J@ckass is an absolutely brilliant description.Best of luck.
post #12 of 29
DaiDreamer, it was not your fault. There was nothing you could've done. Why would he just kick her out!? That befuddles me! Wow...... some pet owner he is!

Quote:
Originally Posted by DaiDreamer
Now people this is suppose to be a rightous man.. A God fearing man.. A religous man.. OK.. A christian that babbles on about God every second he can.. WELL... no offence to anyone of any religion
Okay, first let me say that I don't wanna start anything here like a heated conversation or a religious debate, but you might wanna choose your words a little more carefully. I get very much easily offended, angry, and hurt when people talk about my Lord and Savior the way you just did. I mean, babbles on about God? You might want to consider the feelings of other a little more, whether or not you believe in God.
post #13 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by DaiDreamer
I have been sitting at my pc for about an hour enjoying reading and posting but I still can't get this out of my head.. I guess maybe because I am guilty
<snip>
Ok, I am finished but I just don't know how to feel better about this..
The very first thing you need to do is remember what it was you said "no" to.

Your friend (?) asked if you wanted to take Ricky's Mum, and when asked why, said she had been acting cranky. You declined, and offered suggestions about why that might be and what he might do about it. Did he at that point say ANYTHING about moving away? About wanting the cat off his hands when he did? No. He did not. All he did was make vague noises about neither having had her spayed, nor having had her checked by the vet. Real helpful.

So the next thing that happens is that when asked how the cat is doing, he blames you for what has transpired, without even saying what that is??? Pardon? He might first let you know what the situation is -- ya think?

So, let's see what we have...he asks you to take the cat, but doesn't tell you why and then somehow it's your fault when the cat disappears just before he's going to move. No. Sorry. This does not compute.

I feel really bad for this cat, being neglected in this way. And I feel really bad for you, having had this load of SH*T dumped on you. And I'd like to hang that guy up by his toenails.

You are NOT -- repeat NOT -- to blame for this situation. You did not neglect the care of the cat. You did not let the cat out. You declined to accept a responsibility that you had no obligation to accept, and in a situation where you didn't even have full information about what was being asked of you. He, on the other hand, tried to fob off a responsibility that was his, without telling you what he was really asking.

No. Do not beat up on yourself. If you can find the cat, that would be awesome. But if you can't, that is not your responsibility.
post #14 of 29
This is definitely NOT your fault - and do not allow him to lay a guilt trip on you, You should inform him he has broken the law by being cruel to his pet - and not providing her with even the basics in life. He is no Christian in my book!!
post #15 of 29
Its not your fault! Not at all..and this guy will eventually pay!

What goes around comes around..

I hope the kitty is going to be ok
post #16 of 29
If he was any kind of cat owner - the cat would have been spayed and had a regular check at the vets. The blame lies with him and he's failing to see that. Let's face it - you had the common decency and sense to ask him if he'd done those things... and he hadn't. As an owner, the onus is on him to keep up with the medical stuff.... and how on earth could he just announce that he's moving without the cat?! What the hell kind of a person does he think he is?! That makes me so mad! You've got nothing to worry about. He's just a weak individual who doesn't want to recognise that he was wrong.
post #17 of 29
Oh Valerie, don't beat yourself up! People like that just make me want to spit on them. These furbabies look to us for protection, care, love and when thier owners are so non chalant about it, I just want to kick someone! What a shame. I hope the mother comes back and finds a great home, but not with that idiot. It's not your fault though,r emember that!
post #18 of 29
Like everyone else has said this is not your fault.

You can tell him from me that he want's to practice the religion that he preaches, and that his brains are in his pants!!

His day will come, and so will his wifes!. Awww didums she has a scratch from the cat .......GOOD! and i hope it hurt like hell!!!
post #19 of 29
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by CJandBilly
Okay, first let me say that I don't wanna start anything here like a heated conversation or a religious debate, but you might wanna choose your words a little more carefully. I get very much easily offended, angry, and hurt when people talk about my Lord and Savior the way you just did. I mean, babbles on about God? You might want to consider the feelings of other a little more, whether or not you believe in God. [/b] [/font] [/color]
Truly sorry for any offence.. I will take this time to try to clear this up for any of you that didn't understand my comment..

Quote:
Originally Posted by DaiDreamer
Now people this is suppose to be a righteous man.. A god fearing man.. A religious man.. OK.. A christian that babbles on about god every second he can.. WELL... no offence to anyone of any religion out there but THESE ARE GODS CREATURES that he provided for us as a gift to love, cherrish, enjoy and so many more things..... GRRRR
As you see in the quote above this was a comment based totally on him and him alone.. As you see it says " a righteous man.. A god fearing Man.. A religious man.. Then it says, "A christian that babbles on about god every second he can.."
Meaning he is the christian I am talking about.. I am not pointing my finger at any other person just him and him alone.. He is a minister - " A rightous man" "A god fearing man" A chrstian that should no better about how he is treating this gift that we have been given.. So This is why I say he babbles on about God meaning "something he really knows nothing about" Because if he did and practiced what he preached then this kitty would not have to suffer in this manner and he surely would not blame someone for his ridicules and insensitive behavior.

I truely hope this cleared up any persons I may have offended with my comments toward this person.
post #20 of 29
Don't blame yourself for this, because this is not your fault. There are poeple who just like to put the blame on somebody else so that they wouldn't feel guilty for their actions.

I know I am new here, and might be criticised because of saying this, but how a person acts has nothing to do with religion. Yes we would think that somebody who is a minister and is religious would not do such things, and many don't, but at the same time many do. The same goes for those who are not religious. In his case, I truly think it was easier to put the blame on you, so this way he feels like he tried to come up with a solution for the problem, but since it didn't quite work out that way, he is in no way responsible if something happens to the poor cat. My great-grandmonther was a "religious" woman, but she never went to church or prayed. She believed that there was something like god out there. She lived in europe, there were many cats and dogs running around, who had no home, and even with her tiny income she fed around 30 cats and 3 dogs that came to her house on a daily basis. She believed that you have to help others be it animal or human, and that is exactly what you did. For the longest time I believed that if someone was religious they were truly good to everyone, and after meeting boyfriends parents I came to realize that I was wrong. I have seen both good and bad, regardless of religion. You offered good advice, and what the person did with that was up to them.
Religion has nothing to do with anything. There are people who act badly on both sides. Which is sad in either case. And I do have to agree with the fact that often people don't practice what they preach.

Again don't feel guilty. You did nothing wrong
post #21 of 29
You are not to blame for the actions of someone else.

As for the religious 'link', I have come across people like that before. I think they hide behind their take on religion to avoid facing their own personal inadequacies. Some people (and I wouldn't include genuine believers here) think if they shout loud enough about sin, no-one will notice how black their own heart is.

As for the missing cat, we can only hope that she is either in a safe house, or already in heaven.

Sue
post #22 of 29
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by BarbB
prayer for the animals

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I just thought this was a nice prayer. I am not very religious but I think a lot more people would be nicer to animals if there were more prayers for them.

Everyone on this site deserves a prayer too, for all the love you give to the kitties!

Hear our humble prayer, O God, for our friends the animals,
especially for animals who are suffering;
for animals that are overworked, underfed and cruelly treated;
for all wistful creatures in captivity that beat their wings against bars;
for any that are hunted or lost or deserted or frightened or hungry;
for all that must be put death.
We entreat for them all Thy mercy and pity,
and for those who deal with them we ask a heart of compassion
and gentle hands and kindly words.
Make us, ourselves, to be true friends to animals,
and so to share the blessings of the merciful.
O, heavenly Father, protect and bless all things that have breath;
guard them from all evil,
and let them sleep in peace.
I was reading other posts and I found this pray.. I am going to take this and print it out for this guy and show him. He prays for himself and his family he should also pray for his little kitty too.

Also I wanted to say thank you all so much for your comments .. They all have been very helpful.
post #23 of 29
I'm positive you didn't mean any harm by what you said. I'm sorry it I sound rude. I am easily offended by something like that. I'm sure you can understand because these days, Christians are slammed a lot, and it really bugs me when the smallest thing is ever said.

I believe that what he did was absolutely and completely wrong. But we all make mistakes, and just because he was cruel and made a mistake, doesn't mean he isn't a Christian... just wanted to clear that up.

I think that it was totally wrong of him to do, though. He needs to take responsibility for his animal... I hope he will and goes to find her, and cares for her, no matter what the circumstances.... because it was indeed his fault. I really hope he comes to see the horrible thing he did, and will feel remorse, and do all he can to save this cat. If he can't keep it, the least he can do is find it a home, AFTER caring for any needs she may have.
post #24 of 29
I find it totally unacceptable that he could behave in such a manner though sweetie. If he can't be responsible enough to look after his cat then he really shoudln't be keeping animals at all. People like that are the cause of so many cases of strays and abused animals and it's simply not fair! To be honest, I'm glad I missed the little skiffle over the "religious" issues, for the most part because I get totally lost. It's very easy to get confused and/or offended. It's easy to understand why though. I just hope this poor kitty is safe he doesn't sound like someone I'd want to trust an animal to at all.
post #25 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by LilleKat
I just hope this poor kitty is safe he doesn't sound like someone I'd want to trust an animal to at all.
He completely lost trust in that! I would think he did, at least.
post #26 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by Juniper
That is HORRIBLE! It makes me literally sick. What a horrible, disgusting 'person' (I use that term loosely, for lack of a non-G-rated term). You shouldn't feel guilty - it's not your responsibility to care for the cat, and you had no way of knowing they would do this. I can understand why you're upset, though.
......I´m so sorry for you....Not Advice for you my friend... I just only can share my ears to you all the time that you want...
post #27 of 29
i cant believe there are so many people out there who will just kick a poor little kitty out on the street!!
post #28 of 29
Aw stop beating yourself up! What a prick.
post #29 of 29
It is his own fault for letting the cat outside.

As far as this religion aspect of it,
I think it is a personal thing, what I believe or don't and I do not like other people pushing their own personal beliefs in my face.
Believe what you want and worship how you want, but don't expect me to follow your directions for doing so.

I believe in God and have my own way of communicating with him.
I do not need a big expensive church or someone knocking at my door to make me a christian.

And I don't believe a good christian can with good conscience (sp?) tell you it is your fault for something he chose to do to this poor cat.
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