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Another venting saga....

post #1 of 18
Thread Starter 
Ok, I have been fuming about this for a few days. Ok...I promise I will try to keep this short!
When Jessie was sick, I pretty much cut off my friends. NOT to be mean but I just couldn't talk, I was so consumed with what was going on and such. Anyway, I explained to them that I needed so time. Ya know how you read your friends and just know which ones you can talk about certain things with? Well, one of my friends isn't the most empathetic person. So, I didn't talk to her for 2 weeks. Once I did, she was pretty good about understanding. Well when Punkin passed last Wednesday, I decided to give my friend a chance to be empathetic to me. I answered the phone when she called and told her (through my bawling) that I lost punkin. Mind you, Tuesday evening I met with her for coffee and told her that I was going to get a friend for punkin soon. After some punkin stories and pics, she was telling me about her new kitten (clover). Ok, back to Wednesday. When I told her that punkin had passed, she said, "is that your new cat??" I thought, what the (bleep)? Is she serious? I just talked about her last night!!! Plus, I expect my friends to call my kitties by their names (personal pet peeve). That started my temper flaring. I maintained. She said, "sorry to hear that" then went on to ask questions like, "what happened?", "was she stiff?" WAS SHE STIFF???????????????????????? ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW I THOUGHT???? I am getting madder by the second. I finally cut her off after a few more stupid questions like that. I should say, insensitive! Ugh, I was sooooo mad. So, I have not talked to her since. She has called a few times and left messages. On top of it, I am soooo mad at myself for being away from home that night and especially with her! I didn't know it was my last night with punkin and now I am so guilt ridden inside. Although when I got home that night, punkin seemed fine. She wanted her roast beef and belly rub so I had no idea anything was wrong. Ok, I'm getting off track again. So, here I am mad again. I am trying to get myself to call my friend and explain why I am ticked at her but I just can't do it! I just don't even want to talk to her. My mom says that I need to explain why I am upset and tell her that if she cannot be understanding about how I feel then maybe we cannot be friends. But I feel that she should know how I am since she has known me for years! Then my mom's rebuttle is, "people aren't mind readers and even so, you are hard to read! plus, they haven't ever experienced this with you"
Any opinions on this?
So much for keeping it short! Sorry.
Thanks, thanks, thanks for listening. I hope everyone does not mind me venting.
post #2 of 18
I'm just so sorry you lost your sweet baby Punkin. You are already heart broken, and when you went to a person you believed to be your friend for comfort, she behaved in a very insensitive manner. Her questions were inappropriate and showed a lack of consideration for your feelings. Now, it must hurt you even more that instead of comforting you for your loss and hurt, your Mom took up for your friend. I am just so sorry you're hurting tonight. You know that you can always vent to us. We're here for you any time at all.
post #3 of 18
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by dawnofsierra
I'm just so sorry you lost your sweet baby Punkin. You are already heart broken, and when you went to a person you believed to be your friend for comfort, she behaved in a very insensitive manner. Her questions were inappropriate and showed a lack of consideration for your feelings. Now, it must hurt you even more that instead of comforting you for your loss and hurt, your Mom took up for your friend. I am just so sorry you're hurting tonight. You know that you can always vent to us. We're here for you any time at all.
Thank you so much. Ugh, I know. I try being positive and thinking good thought of my girls but it's so hard.
Yes, I cannot believe she acted that way. I told my mom that I didn't appreciate her saying that. She said, "well, you can't expect everyone to automatically respond the way you want!" I don't believe that though because all the comforting and sincerely sweet words you all have been giving me have been so helpful and I am new here!
Thank you for letting me vent. I really appreciate it.
post #4 of 18
Hi sweetie!

I have been through that (almost exactly!!) same situation a few years ago. And the truth is not everyone understands. Some people are just wired to know what it is to love and care for an animal so much that it is a HUGE part of your world.

I don't want to defend your friend, but think about that she just may not be that way. I feel bad for the people that don't know the ultimate love of pets the way we do, but not all of them are bad people!

Like Stephanie said, it must hurt so much that your Mom stood up for your friend when all you need right now is comfort.
We are here for you!

Try talking to both your MOM and your friend and explain that Punkin was a part of you. And that you need comfort and respect for Punkin right now. Your Mom will understand and so will your friend, if she refuses to, she may not be all that great of friend~

Regardless, I am here to talk if you want! I have Yahoo, click on my user name and you can add me from there
post #5 of 18
thats sad, but be strong in your self. You will get by.
post #6 of 18
Thread Starter 
Thank you sooooooo much!!! I really appreciate that. It's so comforting to know that people are here that TRULY understand me and what I am going though. I get so upset about stuff like I just explained that I end up pushing those people away.
You are right though, not everyone is lucky enough to know how it is to love animals like we all do. I will try to hold my frustration in long enough to explain to my friend how I feel. But for sure if she says something else insensitive, I am going to tell her our friendship is over. My mom on the other hand will be getting a big spanking. I know that I can talk to her. I think she worries that I don't give people a chance to right their wrongs but when it comes to my babies...... one time is all ya get in my mind ya know?
I really appreciate you responding. Thanks for the hugs, I needed them. I feel better being able to talk about this too.
I feel so comfortable here and that warms my heart.
Thank you for that.
post #7 of 18
More huggs.
post #8 of 18
Thread Starter 
Thank you!!!
post #9 of 18
Just Talk to your Mom and your friend and let us know how it goes! I will be thinking about you!
post #10 of 18
Thread Starter 
Thank you. I will keep you all updated. Wish me luck in not losing my temper!!! The wrath of aimee is not pretty when it comes to my babies!!!!!
Thanks for being here for me.
post #11 of 18
We aill always be here for you Aimee! When it comes to my kitkats I can lose it too! But trust me it will be best if you can at least pretend you are calm
post #12 of 18
Amiee Iam so sorry that you have lost Punkin and that your Mum and friend dont understand that it is a very real loss, and that you are grieving. So many people just dont accept that an animal can be so much like a person to us that we hurt so bad when they pass away. I am truly sorry for what you are going through and I hope that it starts to hurt less soon. Debbie
post #13 of 18
Honestly!, some people have no tact have they
post #14 of 18
Thread Starter 
Ugh, I know!!!
post #15 of 18
So sorry to hear about your sweet Punkin.

My friends know my kids, Oliver & Tripod by name. Just because you hang around with someone doesn't mean she's a friend. I'm not saying she's a bad person, but it sounds like shes more of an aquaintance than a real friend. Otherwise, she would know you were hurting and behave accordingly. I understand that it is difficult to say the right thing, but come on - she REALLY said the WRONG thing.
post #16 of 18
post #17 of 18
Quote:
Originally Posted by rosiemac
Honestly!, some people have no tact have they


So sorry to heard that Aimee.....
post #18 of 18
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rockcat
So sorry to hear about your sweet Punkin.

My friends know my kids, Oliver & Tripod by name. Just because you hang around with someone doesn't mean she's a friend. I'm not saying she's a bad person, but it sounds like shes more of an aquaintance than a real friend. Otherwise, she would know you were hurting and behave accordingly. I understand that it is difficult to say the right thing, but come on - she REALLY said the WRONG thing.

Thank you. I miss Jess and Punkin so much!!!
I agree, there is no reason she should not have known her name. When I ask about her kitty I always call him by his name which is clover.
Yeah, I am still fuming about what she said. I am going to have to call and tell her off so she isn't constantly calling me wondering what is wrong. Boy, she is in for it on this conversation. I figure, even if people aren't animal lovers like we are, they should be sensitive to someone else's feelings. For instance....I am not a big "kid" person but when my friend's speak about their daughters, I am always very attentive and I make sure to send bday cards and such. That's what friends do for each other I feel.
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