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Venting

post #1 of 15
Thread Starter 
I have to share..... I am not very close to most of my family. Two months ago my cousin (who's 22 yo) called and asked if I would have dinner with her. I said yes and we had a nice time even though we don't have alot in common. Anyways, about a week later, she had asked me to go to dinner again and I agreed. Well, during our conversation, I was talking about my baby jessie and just sharing cute stories. She started telling me about her dog. Long story short, she said, "well I don't like cats, I'm allergic to them". I just kinda ignored the comment and continued on. Then I said to her, "I tell ya, I love cats so much (I love all animals really but cats are my fav) that I would fight with someone if I saw them hurting a cat!" I told her that I will stop my car and try to catch one if I think they are in a dangerous area. I just want to protect them and keep them from harm. Then she says to me, "yeah i would be the one that would swerve to try and hit them with my car". It was all I could do to hold back from going off on her and I left. I haven't talked to her since although she keeps trying to call me and to be honest, I can't stand her anymore. What kind of person would say that, let alone do that??? I have debated on whether to tell her off and tell her why I don't want anything to do with her but I haven't.
UGH!!!!
post #2 of 15
just tell her off, she needs a good wack
post #3 of 15
Her comment was really uncalled for! I understand how you feel, and I'm sorry she messed with your feelings like that. If she actually does that on purpose, she could get arrested, just to let you know.
post #4 of 15
That's horrible!!! Are you sure she meant it, though? My dad says stuff like that from time to time, but he never actually does it (not that it isn't BAD to say it, but it's better than doing it). I say that you tell her why you don't want anything to do with her, but don't do it in an accusing way. Just state it like a fact. Don't be angry (I know, super hard) and give her a chance to explain herself. If her explanation doesn't satisfy you, tell her "even so, I'm not comfortable hanging out with you anymore." or something similar. Then say goodbye nicely and be done with it. A screamfest or telling off will only make you feel more angry and frustrated, I think.
post #5 of 15
Thread Starter 
Thank you for the advice and comments. Even though it happened 2 months ago, I am just still fuming!!! I will let her know why I am mad and be done with it. It is possible that she didn't really mean it but for me, that is unforgiveable to say.
Thanks for listening to me!!!! I needed to get it out to people who understand!
post #6 of 15
Even if she wouldn't actually do that, saying it was a deliberate attempt to give you a hard time about your feelings for cats. In jest? Maybe. But that would be a lousy sense of humour!! and a clear indication that she really doesn't have a clue where you're coming from.

I'd take the next opportunity to say, "Look, we don't agree on one of the things that's most important to me -- cats -- and I really can't handle your attitude. To say that you would swerve to hit one is incomprehensible to me. So, I don't think we have anything to talk about."

What a horrible thing to say, though!!
post #7 of 15
Thread Starter 
Ugh, thank you. I know!!! I am so glad that I got up and left that night but I tell ya, it took everything I had inside to not just lose my temper. No matter who would have said that to me, I would have been *&(^%^ but especially from my cousin!
Thanks for your thoughts... it helps me deal with this.
post #8 of 15
Oh what an awful thing for her to say! I wouldn't have been able to hold back - All hell would have been let loose if somebody has said that to me!
post #9 of 15
Thread Starter 
Believe me, it was the one of the hardest things for me to do. We were in a restaurant and I tell you, I just wanted to start going off!!! I feel so hateful towards her that I just can't even stand when she calls.
post #10 of 15
How would your cousin feel if someone saw her walking on a sidewalk, and swerved to intentionally hit her?? What makes her think she has anymore right to live then a a cat?? I am sorry, I have a dog, and he has a lot of personality, and I love him, but cats are different, as you know, I am sure, and I love them all. And who gets to pick whether they live or dont live. Shame on her. I would never speak to her again.
post #11 of 15
What you need to do is go to her house late at night in a car that she doesn't know. Bring with you a very pretty present, all wrapped up in shiny wrapping paper & a pretty bow. Leave it on the doorstep with her name on it. Inside, tucked away in a Ziploc baggie, put a big pile of the stinkiest cat poop you can scoop from the litter boxes.

And inside the present somewhere, put a little card that says, "this is what cats think of YOU".

She can't prove it was you, just in case she tries to sue you for slander or whatever (there are lawsuits all over for weirder things).
post #12 of 15
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by diane8704
How would your cousin feel if someone saw her walking on a sidewalk, and swerved to intentionally hit her?? What makes her think she has anymore right to live then a a cat?? I am sorry, I have a dog, and he has a lot of personality, and I love him, but cats are different, as you know, I am sure, and I love them all. And who gets to pick whether they live or dont live. Shame on her. I would never speak to her again.
Thanks for understanding. I know!!!!!!!!! Ugh, I still cannot bring myself to talk to her. I am soooooo
She leaves messages like, "are you mad at me? i haven't heard from you. just tell me what i did and i will apologize". That just irritates me more!!!!!!!!
I feel that she is not worth being my friend.
The funny part is this.....not funny ha ha but ironic.....she is a very beautiful girl but extremely overweight (21 y/o). She went to mexico with her mom to have a surgery done. Not bariatric, something else. Anyway, she isn't losing any weight and it's been over a year. Well, her mom was telling me that she is depressed because her friends won't take her out places even though they don't say why, she knows. Well, I offered to get together with her and take her dancing or whatever. So, as I said in my post, we went to dinner then we were going to plan a night to go out. I think it's crappy of her friends to do that to her. Not friends in my opinion. Anyways, her mom was telling my grama how much angie loved being with me and was so happy to find someone to do things with. WELL, THATS TOO BAD BECAUSE IT'S OVER NOW!!!
post #13 of 15
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by darkeyedgirl
What you need to do is go to her house late at night in a car that she doesn't know. Bring with you a very pretty present, all wrapped up in shiny wrapping paper & a pretty bow. Leave it on the doorstep with her name on it. Inside, tucked away in a Ziploc baggie, put a big pile of the stinkiest cat poop you can scoop from the litter boxes.

And inside the present somewhere, put a little card that says, "this is what cats think of YOU".

She can't prove it was you, just in case she tries to sue you for slander or whatever (there are lawsuits all over for weirder things).
LOL I love that idea!!!!!
Goes to show the old sayings are true....paybacks are a "&*%*)"
post #14 of 15
It truly is an absolutely disgusting attitude if it is a real one, and not a funny joke if it is not. I dont like the idea of vengeance or anything like that though. Some people are just clueless. I would suggest that only a cat lover knows what it means to truly love a cat, and as a result, knows how it feels to think one might be threatened. I think the kind of person who would say that kind of violent thing might be an immature 22 year old who doesnt know where to draw the line on humour/doesnt understand their not-close relatives deep passion for these beautiful animals. If you have not spoken to her in the 2 months since, yet she is still trying to contact you, maybe something more is up, and she needs you in that blood is thicker than water way. Im not very close with much of my family either. At the age of 23, I wish I could change that. Id hate to think I could (and be devastated if I did) thoughtlessly make an unforgivable comment banishing me from an already barely known relatives life as I tried to reach out. Maybe this is a chance for you to (in that blood is thicker than water way) wise up your cousin a little bit in terms of socially acceptable conversation? Heres hoping your conversation with her went well, and that the rest of your future isnt completely thrown away by this terribly bad start.
post #15 of 15
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Februa
It truly is an absolutely disgusting attitude if it is a real one, and not a funny joke if it is not. I dont like the idea of vengeance or anything like that though. Some people are just clueless. I would suggest that only a cat lover knows what it means to truly love a cat, and as a result, knows how it feels to think one might be threatened. I think the kind of person who would say that kind of violent thing might be an immature 22 year old who doesnt know where to draw the line on humour/doesnt understand their not-close relatives deep passion for these beautiful animals. If you have not spoken to her in the 2 months since, yet she is still trying to contact you, maybe something more is up, and she needs you in that blood is thicker than water way. Im not very close with much of my family either. At the age of 23, I wish I could change that. Id hate to think I could (and be devastated if I did) thoughtlessly make an unforgivable comment banishing me from an already barely known relatives life as I tried to reach out. Maybe this is a chance for you to (in that blood is thicker than water way) wise up your cousin a little bit in terms of socially acceptable conversation? Heres hoping your conversation with her went well, and that the rest of your future isnt completely thrown away by this terribly bad start.
Thank you for your thoughts. I am sure that she is disappointed that I haven't talked to her but I feel that she knew she said the wrong thing by the look on my face and my prompt exit from our evening. My mom says I should just tell her why I don't want to talk to her anymore. I just haven't been able to do that yet because I don't want to say mean things. I need to cool down before I can face that conversation.
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