Originally Posted by valanhb
You know, this isn't the first post Tigger has made about this situation, which is why some of us are giving her the advice we have. Yes, he walked out on her. Yes, she did try to get him to go to marriage counceling, and tried very hard to work on the marriage and relationship. He refused all of it and only insisted on getting a divorce. So now she's supposed to keep their vows while he won't? Gimme a break! That's just plain idiotic to expect her to pine for him while he has made it abundantly clear that he does NOT want to work on keeping the marriage. Does it matter what is most healthy for her? Would your God want her to be healthy or emotionally confused and abused?
It seems you also have a pretty bad view of women, from the bits of experiences you've shared. Not all women are innocent, true enough. But not all of us are nit-picking name-calling nags either. Is Tigger a totally innocent bystander in the problems in her marriage? Probably not. But it sure isn't fair to say that her calling him a jerk (after he left her) is the cause of all of this! Once again...HE left her. HE refused marriage counceling. HE is the one sending her mixed signals, insisting that it's over and yet hanging on and expecting her to still do things for him. HE is the jerk in this situation!
Don't think I said her calling him a jerk caused any of this. I asked if she called him a jerk before or after he walked out.
My wife is still upset her friend took back the guy who left to get a job in another state.
Once again I stated that my advice not knowing the people involved is only general.
I don't think people should be abusing people---Verbally or physically!!!!!
And if the unchristian is willing to stay with the christian I believe the Christian is to honnor their commitment.
He who tries to save his life shall lose it. What is wisdom to man is foolishness unto the Lord and perhpas it was foolish for me to give advice to someone who I don't know. But we are to be fools for the Lord.
I still stand by my orginal advice. Don't insult men. I never said that anyone should stay in an abusive relationship. You can do what you can to improve the other person. I am working on getting my wife to be less abusive. And she was wonderfull when I married her. Part of it is she lowered her Paxil for the babie and perhpas that was a mistake.
She asked for a man's opinion and I have given a man's opinion.
Projection is a psychological phenomum.
I went to counseling with my wife and she quit as soon as the counselor sided with me on a few issues. I love my wife and would rather die then lose her. "Critisim is strong where love is week" Why did he refuse to go to counseling is more important then him refusing to go to counseling.
Trust me I saw my dad try to make my mom happy. Sometimes when she was out of the house he would make me clean for hours and it still was not good enough for her.
What is wrong with my advice to do divorce as a last ditch. If your claiming she already did this then my advice has already been followed.
It is better not to make a vow then to break it. That is Bibical but I don't recall the reference.
I am not the bad guy. I am just a guy who saw a thread asking for a guys opinion. I am new here and this is my first post on this event. It starts out with her claiming he is a jerk and we don't have any of his side. My God permits divorce because of the hardness of man's hearts. It is not a good thing but it is permitted.