Love for all the wrong reasons

Originally Posted by rosiemac

I do know people though who just have the £££ signs in their eyes!.

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Although I never dated anyone for their material assets, all but 2 of the guys in my life dated me for mine.

I found that they would become interested in me because they were attracted to me and then would find out who I was and hear around town that my family "had money". Then they would persue me and we'd begin to date. Many of them stayed with me thinking they would "benefit" from being with me but would soon figure out that it wasn't going to happen and would sleep with my "best friend" behind my back. (Thankfully I was smart enough to not compromise my morals for them.) When I would find out they were outta there!

Like I said, I only dated 2 who loved me for me.

I married 1 of them 8 years ago!

I married a real creep because I was mad at my current s/o. How's that for stupid?! I did get a beautiful daughter out of the deal, though.

I never dated anyone because I liked their car or because they had money... but I dated my first boyfriend waaay too long because, I think, he was the first guy who paid me any attention and I didn't think anyone else would be interested in me. Silly.

I don't know if i love Rocky any more or if i'm with him because he's there.

I can't do anything right by him, I think i'd rather be alone than with someone who makes me unhappy.

How can you tell the rough patches from the time to break up?

All I can say from my own little private sociological study is that way too many people hook up with someone for all the wrong reasons. They get it into their heads that they have to be married by a certain age, or have kids by a certain age, or just because they don't want to be alone.

yeah. ok take it one step further too... that a lot of people are attracted to their own weaknesses....but in the other person.

Originally Posted by maverick_kitten

I don't know if i love Rocky any more or if i'm with him because he's there.

I can't do anything right by him, I think i'd rather be alone than with someone who makes me unhappy.

How can you tell the rough patches from the time to break up?

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I think that you can tell the rough patches from time to break up by the way you feel. If you think about breaking up....and it truly scares you and makes you sick...and the thought of him being with anyone but you and vice versa makes you cry...then maybe this is just a rough patch. When its over....and you know it...you dont need the time to talk about it. Especially, with what you just wrote...I think you already know the answer. Its hard to find the strength to fight a battle you dont want to be in. Maybe what hes got and what you need are 2 different things. And you shouldnt be unhappy. And being in a relationship where nothing you do is right will chip away at your self esteem...whether it already has, I dont know.
Good luck in whatever decision you make...and keep us posted!!

Originally Posted by Pat & Alix

Let me tell you, especially in these days, how much in gold do you think a committed and faithful, unconditionally loving husband is worth? Priceless

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In the past, I have continued to see guys, date them, talk to them, etc. ONLY because I thought I was more worthwhile if there were a man in my life. I had the mistaken idea that I was not good enough unless a man were interested in me.

Originally Posted by batgirl2good

In the past, I have continued to see guys, date them, talk to them, etc. ONLY because I thought I was more worthwhile if there were a man in my life. I had the mistaken idea that I was not good enough unless a man were interested in me.

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oh Bobbie, I just HAVE to respond to this for two reasons: first and foremost you are one of the coolest, upbeat, intelligent human beings on this site and you have a lotta good stuff goin' on!! That's called INNER PRETTY. I like inner pretty! And secondly your statement I had the mistaken idea that I was not good enough unless a man were interested in me. is just so true for so many women. SHAME!!! Shame on our culture who makes a woman feel less than whole if not in a pair. Look at what the leading women of the world have accomplished, and many of them were single individuals. I am so pleased to see in print a beautiful woman write that she was mistaken...as so many of us are. I do think it takes time to become comfortable and confident in our own skin....to feel good about our insides and not neurotic about our outsides to the point where that dictates our happiness and our choices in relationships. For me, this has come later in life, and thank god it has! YAY BOBBIE!!!!!THANK YOU FOR TELLING IT LIKE IT IS.

Originally Posted by maverick_kitten

I don't know if i love Rocky any more or if i'm with him because he's there.

I can't do anything right by him, I think i'd rather be alone than with someone who makes me unhappy.

How can you tell the rough patches from the time to break up?

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Nicky i left my husband for someone else, but when we finally split 2 years ago the first thing people said to me was "Are you going to go back with your husband?!".

I couldn't believe it!. It's as if a person can't survive on their own!.

I have friends who are in their marriage just for the security of it and thats it, but i couldn't do that.

If your unhappy now you have to think of the years ahead because your a long time dead chick!

Originally Posted by maverick_kitten

I don't know if i love Rocky any more or if i'm with him because he's there.

I can't do anything right by him, I think i'd rather be alone than with someone who makes me unhappy.

How can you tell the rough patches from the time to break up?

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I really know how you feel! I just recently broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years. It is difficult to tell when it is just a rough patch, but if the rough patches outweigh the good times then is there really a point if the relationship is making you unhappy?

I still love my ex but I know it was the best thing to do. I know it is a horrible feeling when you doubt your relationship...I went through it for a while but you will know when and if you want to end it! Good Luck and Be Strong.

hmmm, well teufel doesnt have money, or a house he just has my bed, my chair my house, my food my money Do you think teufel is using me ??
Sometimes i dont know if my bf was using me when we lived with my parents But i hope not. we are enjoying our time and the only time we argue is when he doesnt smoke

its a very difficult situation for me. we hadnt been getting on for a long while and split up. half and hour later his gran died so he assumed we were back together coz he needed someone there.

i lasted two weeks and a half weeks before i ended it again today after he told me that " i hadnt done enough to support him" and "nothing i said or did made anything better for him" even though i put aside my feelings and did my best to be there for him. i god honestly did everything i knew how to support him but it wasnt enough.

yesterday Rocky split up with me after i got upset that he didnt return my calls when i had a bad day and needed someone to talk to. that night i met a guy at a bar and took his number. it wasnt the fact that i needed someone else, it was the fact that it was such a nice change being spoken to as an equal. it was just so nice to have a bit of a laugh and have some fun and enjoy some male company without being made to feel bad.

i told Rocky this morning and he 'cant forgive me' for taking the number as he had expected me to wait one week for him to decide whether or not he wanted me before i got on with my life.

i'm most probably not going to call the guy but it helped me realise that relationships are supposed to be fun and when you dont enjoy your partners company any more its time to call it a day.

yet this hasnt stopped me feeling guilty.

Sorry to have hijacked this thread for so long

Originally Posted by maverick_kitten

Sorry to have hijacked this thread for so long

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Not a problem here, darlin'! It does help to talk about it, even if its just writing it down here. Just remember, we're here to listen and lend an opinion when you want it, and the occasional hug too.

thank you

Originally Posted by maverick_kitten

thank you

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You're very welcome, oh, and I forgot before I entered a minute ago {{{{HUGS}}}} for you, darlin', 'cause I know that you need them right now!

i feel strangely ok. i love him but i cant go on being unhappy. i feel so bad that this happened just after his gran died but to be honest i dont think he wanted to be with me any more either, he just needed someone there for him.

as lacking as he found me i guess i was better than nothing.

life goes on.

Oh, honey, ANY man would be blessed to be with you! You just wait! the right one will come along and treat you like the queen you are!

Originally Posted by maverick_kitten

i feel strangely ok. i love him but i cant go on being unhappy. i feel so bad that this happened just after his gran died but to be honest i dont think he wanted to be with me any more either, he just needed someone there for him.

as lacking as he found me i guess i was better than nothing.

life goes on.

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