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Love for all the wrong reasons - Page 2

post #31 of 45
Quote:
Originally Posted by batgirl2good
In the past, I have continued to see guys, date them, talk to them, etc. ONLY because I thought I was more worthwhile if there were a man in my life. I had the mistaken idea that I was not good enough unless a man were interested in me.
oh Bobbie, I just HAVE to respond to this for two reasons: first and foremost you are one of the coolest, upbeat, intelligent human beings on this site and you have a lotta good stuff goin' on!! That's called INNER PRETTY. I like inner pretty! And secondly your statement I had the mistaken idea that I was not good enough unless a man were interested in me. is just so true for so many women. SHAME!!! Shame on our culture who makes a woman feel less than whole if not in a pair. Look at what the leading women of the world have accomplished, and many of them were single individuals. I am so pleased to see in print a beautiful woman write that she was mistaken...as so many of us are. I do think it takes time to become comfortable and confident in our own skin....to feel good about our insides and not neurotic about our outsides to the point where that dictates our happiness and our choices in relationships. For me, this has come later in life, and thank god it has! YAY BOBBIE!!!!!THANK YOU FOR TELLING IT LIKE IT IS.
post #32 of 45
Quote:
Originally Posted by maverick_kitten
I don't know if i love Rocky any more or if i'm with him because he's there.

I can't do anything right by him, I think i'd rather be alone than with someone who makes me unhappy.

How can you tell the rough patches from the time to break up?
Nicky i left my husband for someone else, but when we finally split 2 years ago the first thing people said to me was "Are you going to go back with your husband?!".

I couldn't believe it!. It's as if a person can't survive on their own!.

I have friends who are in their marriage just for the security of it and thats it, but i couldn't do that.

If your unhappy now you have to think of the years ahead because your a long time dead chick!
post #33 of 45
Quote:
Originally Posted by maverick_kitten
I don't know if i love Rocky any more or if i'm with him because he's there.

I can't do anything right by him, I think i'd rather be alone than with someone who makes me unhappy.

How can you tell the rough patches from the time to break up?
I really know how you feel! I just recently broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years. It is difficult to tell when it is just a rough patch, but if the rough patches outweigh the good times then is there really a point if the relationship is making you unhappy?

I still love my ex but I know it was the best thing to do. I know it is a horrible feeling when you doubt your relationship...I went through it for a while but you will know when and if you want to end it! Good Luck and Be Strong.
post #34 of 45
hmmm, well teufel doesnt have money, or a house :P he just has my bed, my chair my house, my food my money Do you think teufel is using me ??
Sometimes i dont know if my bf was using me when we lived with my parents But i hope not. we are enjoying our time and the only time we argue is when he doesnt smoke
post #35 of 45
its a very difficult situation for me. we hadnt been getting on for a long while and split up. half and hour later his gran died so he assumed we were back together coz he needed someone there.

i lasted two weeks and a half weeks before i ended it again today after he told me that " i hadnt done enough to support him" and "nothing i said or did made anything better for him" even though i put aside my feelings and did my best to be there for him. i god honestly did everything i knew how to support him but it wasnt enough.

yesterday Rocky split up with me after i got upset that he didnt return my calls when i had a bad day and needed someone to talk to. that night i met a guy at a bar and took his number. it wasnt the fact that i needed someone else, it was the fact that it was such a nice change being spoken to as an equal. it was just so nice to have a bit of a laugh and have some fun and enjoy some male company without being made to feel bad.

i told Rocky this morning and he 'cant forgive me' for taking the number as he had expected me to wait one week for him to decide whether or not he wanted me before i got on with my life.

i'm most probably not going to call the guy but it helped me realise that relationships are supposed to be fun and when you dont enjoy your partners company any more its time to call it a day.

yet this hasnt stopped me feeling guilty.

Sorry to have hijacked this thread for so long
post #36 of 45
Quote:
Originally Posted by maverick_kitten
Sorry to have hijacked this thread for so long
Not a problem here, darlin'! It does help to talk about it, even if its just writing it down here. Just remember, we're here to listen and lend an opinion when you want it, and the occasional hug too.
post #37 of 45
thank you
post #38 of 45
Quote:
Originally Posted by maverick_kitten
thank you
You're very welcome, oh, and I forgot before I entered a minute ago {{{{HUGS}}}} for you, darlin', 'cause I know that you need them right now!
post #39 of 45
i feel strangely ok. i love him but i cant go on being unhappy. i feel so bad that this happened just after his gran died but to be honest i dont think he wanted to be with me any more either, he just needed someone there for him.

as lacking as he found me i guess i was better than nothing.

life goes on.
post #40 of 45
Oh, honey, ANY man would be blessed to be with you! You just wait! the right one will come along and treat you like the queen you are!

Quote:
Originally Posted by maverick_kitten
i feel strangely ok. i love him but i cant go on being unhappy. i feel so bad that this happened just after his gran died but to be honest i dont think he wanted to be with me any more either, he just needed someone there for him.

as lacking as he found me i guess i was better than nothing.

life goes on.
post #41 of 45
I've dated all three of my boyfriends because I was bored and/or wanted the challange. All of them ending has been my fault, except the last relationship.

Dave was a boy I met at summer camp who lived across the state. It was really cool telling people in high school I was having a serious long-distance relationship. I ended up cheating on him with Kev.

Kev was my best friend's boyfriend's best friend. Since it was the four of always hanging out together, it was convience. It was horrible. He actually became jealous of his best friend's 11 year old brother because I was talking to him. And then he'd throw unbelievable hissy fits. I hate to say it but I dumped him, and I told him the brutal truth as to why. My mother said karma would bite me for that one, and it has.

Sam was another boy I met at a summer camp, but I waited until I was in college to actually date him. Turned out that he was in love with another girl the entire time he was with me, and towards the end cheated with her. That's okay, because I was cheating on him as well. We're still friends, strangely enough.

Another round with Kev, because I was feeling self destructive after the Sam thing. He decideced to watch Nascar instead of coming to my Birthday dinner with our friends. I made him so mad that he put dents into his own car. I really don't feel so bad about that one.

Another round with Dave. I really thought it was going to work. I put my all into it and I loved him. He claimed I put my friends before him in my life, and dumped me because of it. Even if that was the truth, I'm glad it happened. I wouldn't have wanted to stay with him if he really didn't understand my commitment to my friends and family. (Though at the time I almost OD'd and slept for four days straight.)

Another round with Sam. Lasted about a month. We had both gotten out of long, serious, relationships, and needed the support. He lives over an hour away, and eventually we realized that we didn't have that much in common anymore to warrent the trip. He's back at college now dating his girlfriend's ex-roomate.

The relationship I feel the worst about was the one with this guy I've known for 12 years. We grew up together as best friends, and eventually lost touch with each other. I'd see him now and then, but nothing major. Well, I he was going through some tough stuff with his family - his grandfather passing away, his dad treating him like crap, his mother choosing her new boyfriend over the family. It started as a pity thing on my end. We had a fling that lasted a few months. And then I realized that he wanted to get serious. I didn't. So.... I haven't talked to him six months. I haven't even said goodbye. We never weren't officially anything, we never even talked about it. I never told anyone about seeing him, and I'm sure he's done the same.

You know, I am the only female in the grocery store where I work who doesn't have a boyfriend or a husband (or both). And I'm actually okay with that.

Sorry for the length, it felt good getting that all out.
post #42 of 45
Quote:
Originally Posted by wodesorel
.....You know, I am the only female in the grocery store where I work who doesn't have a boyfriend or a husband (or both). And I'm actually okay with that.

Sorry for the length, it felt good getting that all out.
post #43 of 45
Thank you!

The girls at work are always trying to hook me up with someone. I just look at them and say "Why?" I was raised by a single mother, and between that and trial and error I've learned I don't need (nor want) a man in my life. I have enough on plate as it is.

You know, I'm really considering telling people, when they ask, that I have a very large Russian boyfriend with blue hair, who is named Merlin, just to shut them up.
post #44 of 45
Quote:
Originally Posted by wodesorel
Thank you!

The girls at work are always trying to hook me up with someone. I just look at them and say "Why?" I was raised by a single mother, and between that and trial and error I've learned I don't need (nor want) a man in my life. I have enough on plate as it is.


You're darn right you do: YOU.
post #45 of 45
Awww Nicky Listen, if you ever want a chat just pm me your number because my mobile is free to ring landlines!
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