My House Is Quiet Tonight

All of the October 3rd litter of kittens are gone to their new homes now.

There is no rustling of movement in the area where the toy basket is located, there are no 3 AM wild chases up and down the wooden floor hallway with bell balls ... I do not sense any longer the life force and extremely strong presence of the 5 little lives who touched me so profoundly just a bit over 3 months ago and have now moved on to touch the lives of those they chose to care for them. And choose they did, each and every one of them - I saw it with my own two eyes. One after another would climb right into the lap of the person who they knew was to be theirs and theirs alone.

They are all in fantastic homes. I couldn't have custom ordered better caregivers for them. I know this intellectually. But Lexus, their mother, is looking for them tonight, the first time I have witnessed her doing this since they began leaving and it brings tears to watch her. I don't know how to ease her. So I drink yet another cup of coffee, the 2nd pot now - smoke yet another cigarette, the second pack today, and try to stay awake to play with her ... she engages for a while, then looks again in all of the places they liked to gather. She calls to them and they don't come. She is confused and wants me to help her find them, but of course, I cannot. I tell her I miss them too and hope she understands. I am at a loss. And both of us feel very, very alone tonight.

~gf~

I know well the feelings! We once watched as a mother cleaned, from top to bottom each kitten as it was leaving. each on a different day. It was as if a final farewell to her young ones, hoping to leave with them some vestage of mom. Although i wouldn't show it, it brought tears to my heart as well, as the last little one was being cleaned, longer than the others. Even later, when she knew they were gone, she spent days looking for them until se finally realized they weren't there anymore.

Although we know we place them with good homes, with good lives, mom's for all their trying to push them away from nursing, to force them to take care of themselves, in the end, miss them dearly...

Reminds me of raising children and how I have felt and will feel when my little girl leaves home, the last of our litter so to speak............

I feel so sad. I give you credit, I don't believe I could handle doing this over and over. But I am also glad you have made the lives of those who have the kittens so happy. I think of Bijou and Mika and can't imagine our home without them. They bring such joy to our lives just by "being there". To be able to just look over at them sleeping together, or grooming each other makes my heart flip over with happiness. So I guess the sadness you feel right now must be a mixed feeling of sadness yet joy that you have enriched someone else's life.

It is one thing to have mom wrenched away from you in one single swoop, and quite another to have her eased out from under you gradually and with great care. You waited the proper amount of time for these little ones to leave, you weighed and evaluated each potential kitty client carefully, and this I know well.

Lexus is fortunate as is Tonka, they have a owner that cares for them, and gives not a thought of how much money each kitten will bring, but more of who can provide the proper home for each kitten, and how can they further my own breeding program? Will they have the staying power needed to do what I am asking them to do?

That makes a good breeder Gaye, and if you were a bad one, you would now be entertaining letting Lexus and Tonka breed right now, to help Lex get over her empty nest syndrome, but instead you are perculating coffee and smoking cancer sticks, and spending time with her. (Sorry but you know i want you to stop smoking)

So go ahead and grieve this loss with Lexus, because it is a very good loss-

Good grief, Gaye, I just read this post, and while I agree with those before me, I have to say that you brought back a lot of memories to me! I don't know which is the most painful, watching them leave forever, or watching their mom look and call for them. But like hissy says, its a sign of a good, caring breeder, and it shows just how much you love both the kittens and the parents. {{hugs}} for you my friend, 'cause I been in your shoes, just remember the fun and the good times they brought you!

Thank you all for your very kind and loving words. Today is better, not great, but better and Lex isn't as anxious as she was. Truth be told, I think she is on the upswing of another estrus cycle and is more concerned with that than anything else today.

No, I am not breeding her again for a while yet. Lexus lost a lot of her resources while nursing this litter and it concerned me. More than I thought she should lose. She has gained all her weight back and is quite the little He-Man-Muscle girl now, bulky and thick. Her recent vet visit was great and the vet gave me the go-ahead to breed her again, but I want to wait at least until late Spring/early Summer if I can. I just think she needs the time to be herself by herself for a little while.

Hugs to all,

~gf~

P.S. to Hissy: I WILL quit smoking on or before March 15, 2005. There, it is in writing, on a public message forum. Happy now????? *grin*

YAY!!!!!

Gaye,
What a beautiful, heart-wrenching message. It made me a little teary. As I sit here reading my beautiful little chocolate point, Margo, is sitting behind me, purring away and I am, once again, sooooooo grateful to have her in my life.

Can you tell us anything about the homes the kitties went to? Or is that inappropriate and/or painful? I'm curious about that gorgeous little blue point girl. What a special little girl.
Missy

Missy, no I don't think it would be at all inappropriate to talk a bit about their homes and families ... the blue point girl you are thinking of (her name is Monster) went to a lovely couple in Northern Virginia who adore her. The Seal Point boy (he is named after his grandfather and father - Thai Tonka) went to an absolutely lovely young family right here in my own Hanover County. The Blue Point boy (now known as Ivan) is with a young family and he has a 3 year-old little girl to take care of, again in NoVa. The second Blue Point girl (known now as Lilly) is with an extremely charming young lady - you guessed it, again in NoVa. The Seal Point girl (named Katie Jessica Flagg Carter - there's a story here) is now taking care of an absolutely precious but heartbroken little 8 year-old boy and his family who lost their lifetime Siamese companion this past Summer.

They are missed. But they are well loved in their new families. This I know beyond all reasonable doubt.

Thank you for asking *hug*

~gf~

Gaye, as the mum of Burmese babies adopted in November you've got me feeling terribly guilty about taking them away, both from their human mum and cat mum!!

Seriously though, they're adorable and much appreciated and loved, as I'm sure your babies will be. I felt sorry for the breeder I was taking them away from at the time and resolved to keep in touch. Two sets of photos (that I sent) later I haven't had a reply, though we did get a Xmas card. Should I keep sending them or do you think they've moved on now? I know they had another litter born the day before I adopted mine.

Originally Posted by Jan

Gaye, as the mum of Burmese babies adopted in November you've got me feeling terribly guilty about taking them away, both from their human mum and cat mum!!

Seriously though, they're adorable and much appreciated and loved, as I'm sure your babies will be. I felt sorry for the breeder I was taking them away from at the time and resolved to keep in touch. Two sets of photos (that I sent) later I haven't had a reply, though we did get a Xmas card. Should I keep sending them or do you think they've moved on now? I know they had another litter born the day before I adopted mine.

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Oh Jan - please don't let me make you feel guilty! You enjoy those babies and don't think another moment about it! If your breeder feels at all like I do about her cats, then I am sure she covets each and every picture and message you send, but wants to stay in the background so as not to be intrusive or so much "in your face". If it makes YOU feel good to send the pictures and updates, then by all means, keep sending them.

Oh, and before I forget to ask -- got any pics of those Burmese to share with us??? *grin*

Yours,

~gf~

Yes, I'd love to, but haven't worked out how to do it yet! I will get round to it, promise! I originally thought you had to be a more senior poster to put photos up, but now I've noticed new members doing it. I'll have a go.

Their next milestone is their neutering appointment, next Friday. They seem quite unconcerned, but I'm biting my fingernails until it's over.

By the way, I think it's lovely that you are happy to let your babies go to homes with children. We came across one or two breeders in the UK that would only let pedigree kittens go to childless homes (breeders who didn't have children and regard them all as aliens and small terrorists, I suspect). But I have an 8 year old girl and a 10 year old boy, both have been brought up with cats. They were so loving and gentle with our 14 year old CRF Jimmy and helped care for him until he died; when they were heartbroken. Then when we knew the new baby was coming, they crossed the days off on a calendar until it was time to fetch him. (We had only reserved one, but when we got there we came home with his brother as well, who still didn't have a home!) Now it's lovely to watch them with the kittens and respond to their moods, playing with them when they're lively and snuggling with them in front of the TV when they're sleepy. Not all children pull cats' tails, tease them and make their lives a misery. If all children were brought up with animals and taught to respect and love them the world would be a better place, with less cruelty both to animals and humans.


PS I've just managed to post a pic of my babies. I've put it on "new cats on the block." I'll work on a signature now while my confidence is riding high!

Gaye, I know the feeling all too well.

My babies turned 10 weeks old yesterday and tomorrow two of them are leaving for their new homes. One of them is still looking for a home, and one is leaving Early Feb. And of course we are keeping Bridget!

Big hugs Gaye!

Jan,

When next Friday comes, I'll keep your guys in my thoughts and very close to my heart in the hope that the positive energy will ease them through their ordeal. You'll be OK, and so will they. I feel pretty confident about that.

With regard to placing kittens in homes with young children ... you know, I struggled over this decision, but it always came to the same conclusion for me. Children raised in loving, nurturing homes with treasured pets are IMO more compassionate, more emotionally-healthy and have a much, much more advanced set of behavioral standards than children who do not have pets. Of course, this is an entirely informal study on my part and your milage may vary. *grin* I know a lot of breeders who tell me I am nuts to put a kitten in a home with small kids, but the people I chose as my kitten buyers all had their kids to my home on at least two different visits for more than an hour for each visit. And ... in most cases, it was after at least 2 hours in an automobile. I didn't have a problem placing these cats with kids. They were wonderful, charming, intelligent, bright and happy children - and I know for a fact they are treating their new family members with all due respect and courtesy.

I tried to go and look at your pictures earlier today and *sob wail* I couldn't see a thing but the little red X's. Maybe it is fixed now and so I'll close to go and have another look-see.

Hug your babies for me,

~gf~

Thanks, Sam ... I was feeling pretty low that night. I am much better today. Lex is much, much better and really has gotten quite playful and affectionate with us once again. She was all business with the babies and it is nice to have her back, unfettered by her young'uns. And she is sleeping with me again too. I so missed that. I woke up in the middle of last night from a nightmare and she was right by my side - purring to comfort me. I know she misses the companionship of the babies though and I talked to my husband about getting another female, maybe in the Fall. I think Lex would take real well to a little female kitten, as maternal as she is. I found the line I want to work with and my kitten will be out of a very dainty little Chocolate Point queen named Fascination. Her sire is a lusty Lilac Point named Tim. I am very, very excited since I have been wanting to work with this line for at least 3 years now - and it has finally happened. It is such an advantage to my preservation program, but most importantly, it is so beneficial to the breed!

How were your holidays? Are you back in school yet? My boy starts his Junior year at University on the 18th.

~gf~

gayef, you're exactly the kind of breeder, I'd love to buy a kitten from. It's too bad you're not in California.

I know I'd feel just like you do, if I were breeding kittens.

Originally Posted by gayef

Thanks, Sam ... I was feeling pretty low that night. I am much better today. Lex is much, much better and really has gotten quite playful and affectionate with us once again. She was all business with the babies and it is nice to have her back, unfettered by her young'uns. And she is sleeping with me again too. I so missed that. I woke up in the middle of last night from a nightmare and she was right by my side - purring to comfort me. I know she misses the companionship of the babies though and I talked to my husband about getting another female, maybe in the Fall. I think Lex would take real well to a little female kitten, as maternal as she is. I found the line I want to work with and my kitten will be out of a very dainty little Chocolate Point queen named Fascination. Her sire is a lusty Lilac Point named Tim. I am very, very excited since I have been wanting to work with this line for at least 3 years now - and it has finally happened. It is such an advantage to my preservation program, but most importantly, it is so beneficial to the breed!

How were your holidays? Are you back in school yet? My boy starts his Junior year at University on the 18th.

~gf~

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Oh how exciting Gaye! I'm sure she will be an asset to your breeding program.

My holidays are going good, I've been on holiday since December the 2nd and I don't go back to college until Feb the 2nd.

We have a litter of kittens due anytime now. Holly the girl in my signature is 64 days today.

Sam.