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Please help! This is freaking me out!

post #1 of 10
Thread Starter 
Hello, everyone! I am new to the board, so please forgive me if you've heard this before. It may be a long story, too, so please bear with me...
I share a ground floor apartment with my fiancee Mike, & 2 cats, Tucker (my big male, a sweet, gentle boy) & Mini, my little 1&1/2 year old female. both are fixed, & both have always gotten along well with each other, & with us. We bottle-fed mini when she was no bigger than a beannie baby, she has never gone crazy like this!
Last night, Mike was napping in the back bedroom & a cat came up on our windowsill..I wasn't paying attention till Tucker made a noise, so I ran over to the screen & hit it, to chase the cat away. Well, he didn't leave, so I went outside to really chase him off, & don't know if I accidentally shut the door on one of my cats or not, but that's when they started really fighting! I grabbed a shoe & threw it at them to seperate them- I couldn't get past them to do anything else, & no way was I going to break it up. They both ran in back, & were hissing at each other for awhile. They were both stressed out, but Tucker has basically gotten over it. Mini still acts like she wants to kill me, even though she did her normal thing by sleeping with me last night like she always does!?!? my voice seems to trigger her into an aggressive hissing thing, & although she hasn't attacked me yet, I'm wondering what the future holds. I probably shouldn't have thrown the shoe, but what else could I do with my 2 cats who were trying to kill each other in my living room?
I've read articles on redirected aggression, but Mini has taken it to an extreme. I don't know what else to do but ignore her & hope she snaps out of it. Any thoughts from you guys would really help to salvage this awful situation...
post #2 of 10
when they see another cat close up( I have rescued a few) , one will hiss and if the other one is close by she/he will his back and once they actually started fighting,I threw something(not at them) and they both ran. After a few days they were back to normal. I don't know if this is normal, I guess it is. I would just try and show your cats lots of love and let them calm down. Next time don't throw something at them , throw it someplace else, or make a really loud noise, that will scare them to stop. I don't know how much I helped, but know you are not alone. btw, I also have a male and female. My male is 3 and my female will be 3 in March. Maybe it is a male- female thing? who knows.
post #3 of 10
Thread Starter 
I feel bad about the shoe! Also, today I discovered that this cat sprayed through the screen! I couldn't smell it at all, & scrubbed the area, plus the livingroom floor, twice. Mini is still weird. Earlier, I was whistling, sitting here at the computer, & she came up, acting all normal. I ignored her & let her be. Mike asked me a question, & as soon as I talked, she freaked out again in typical crazed cat fashion.
post #4 of 10
Hi and welcome to the site!
I'm sure she'll get over it. Maybe the sound of your voice reminds her of the shoe missile. It may be a good idea to start giving her treats and speaking to her gently. Mini will soon get the idea that it was an accident and you only wanted to stop her from getting hurt.
post #5 of 10
Next time instead of a shoe, toss a blanket over the cats. I would invest in a blacklight and shine it outside your home at night, you will be surprised where this cat's urine has landed- it can really travel. You will have to get rid of it with a good enzyme cleaner before your cats will even begin to calm down. Hitting the screen at an outside cat will only cause aggression from the tresspasser, and your cats will feed on your stress that you trigger when you react. I would also invest in a comfort zone room diffuser and get that going in your home. To scare away true feral cats, take a trip to your beauty salon and ask them if you can have a small baggie of trimmings (hair) then bring the hair home and sprinkle it around where the cat shows up. If it is a true feral, the human scent will keep it away. You can use the hair sparingly and keep the rest sealed in the freezer to keep the scent strong


post #6 of 10
have you tried feliway to calm mini down? try singing and talking to yourself around the house with mini in earshot. also talk to her whilst you feed her her fave foods. she'll settle down eventually once she gets used to your voice again.
post #7 of 10
I threw a shoe at my boyfriend once and it freaked my cat out. She went all puffy and wouldn't talk to me for days. Come to think of it, neither would he.... I guess shoe throwing is not a good way to resolve conflict.
post #8 of 10
My kitty gets very very angry at me if I touch another cat, or even talk to another cat outside. It could just be she's mad at you for socializing with another cat (yea I know it was to chase it off, but she doesnt necesserily know that). Plus tossing a shoe at her couldn't have helped.

It usually takes a few days for Neko to get over being mad at me. Just be patient and try to spoil her rotten, I'm sure she'll come around
post #9 of 10
Ouch on the shoe!!! I keep a small soft pillow near that I made and when my 2 boys start at it bad I throw the pillow between them! lol They just look at me like I am weird but it stops the craziness! I don't think mine would actually hurt each other but sometimes you start to wonder
post #10 of 10
You have my full sympathies. I am in the process of resolving a similar situation with 3 of my 5 cats that happened 3 weeks ago. A neighbour's cat 'jumped' at them through the window and even though the window was closed, it frightened them and since they couldn't get to her, they started to fight among themselves - serious, deadly fighting. My two bottle raised orphan brothers were trying to kill each other, and the two of them were blaming my 10 year old as the source.

It will take a few days before the stress memory wears off, so you will find things such as making unexpected moves or loud noises or speaking after silence will set things off again. I have been making very judicious use of separate rooms and time outs and trying to redirect aggression energy into play (not too successful once aggression gets to a certain point but effective if it hasn't got there yet).

I found the Feliway room diffuser to be a very big help. It made them all a lot more active and playful - kind of getting rid of that nervous energy - but it wasn't angry play just very very active. This has faded as they have got used to the Feliway. I have also tried to take care of my own stress because I know that my anticipation of aggression usually leads to aggression, so I am doing things I know that help keep me calm.

You will find yourself needing to spend a lot more time than you usually do with your cats re-establishing the balance between the three of you. When she starts to hiss, try to redirect her to a toy or a cat dancer and then when she starts to play give her a treat. Carry the treats on you all the time because you never know when one will be the right thing.

I have also found flower essence therapy helpful. This is something that some people agree with and others don't so it is okay not to want to use them. Read up on FES Quintessential Flower Essences and the Bach Flower Essences on line and if you want to try them you can pick them up at a health food store. You just add a few drops either to their water or directly on their tongues.

It is a slow process, and you will find some days are 2 steps forward and one step back, but it will get better. Keep talking quietly and calmly to your cats and tell them what you are doing and why. You want to focus their attention on returning to their happy and loving relationship with all of you.

Good luck,


FES website: www.fesflowers.com
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