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OK - here goes. We're adopting a daughter and she needs prayers. - Page 8

post #211 of 414
Wow - it's all so complicated, but it really doesn't sound as if there's much of a choice if she has to stay in NY. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that things go well tomorrow, and that this program will help her.
post #212 of 414
WOW, Laurie!! What a rollercoaster! What a bizarre turn of events with that counsellor! Sounds as if this rapid detox might be just the ticket, though. I hope it works out, so Naomi can get on with this phase, instead of being jerked around some more by circumstances. Thinking of you all.
post #213 of 414
It's "out of the frying pan" Always, isnt' it?

Well I'm GLAd tat the cult thing got suspected before she joined.. but it's unfortunate that its' a cult.
I hope things go well with the rapid detox :/ and I'm sure once she's off the heroin, she'll be able to do the more eastern holistic healing and detox (because to a point it is still detox.) Is there a japanese or chinese garden in your area? Maybe if there is, they soemtimes have classes on eastern style watercolor which is an art and a meditation at the same time. it's quite interesting.
post #214 of 414
Well, I am glad that she still is willing, I just hope everything starts working itself out reallly soon, before the 30 days are up. The rapid detox sounds like it may help though. I hope she isn't allergic to morphine. (if that is where she goes) still thinking of you all, and thankyou for the update!
post #215 of 414
*waiting impatiently - lol* its friday!!! Did you go to talk to the detox place?? I really hope that Naomi decides to do this. It sounds like a really good plan! I'm glad to see that she really wants the help too! Get better so you can come talk to us!!! (im hooked on this thread - Ive been checking for updates everyday! lol)
post #216 of 414
Laurie, I am keeping you, Gary and especially Naomi in my prayers. I really hope that everything works out for the best. You know the saying, when God closes one door.....
post #217 of 414
Thread Starter 
OK! We met with the detox people - she weighs enough and her heart is fine (she'd had an EKG at the first Doc appt we had for her - we had a copy of her file - with her permission - transferred), and more importantly, her liver functions are fine.

So - we went back today for the cocaine test (negative), and the official appointment with the Doctor. She had to have a psych profile done, and fill out a LOT of paperwork. The Doc wrote a prescription for a pill version of morphine and a prescription for Xanax (for anxiety) - so no more shooting. IF there is a cancellation for the scheduled Thursday detox (that person also has a cocaine problem, so they're not sure she'll be able to keep her Wed check-in), then Naomi checks in for detox Wednesday. If not, she checks in Sunday for detox. She was in a terrible mood all morning (obviously anxious about this appointment), but we made it, and she completed everything - and afterwards was in a great mood! They made it VERY clear to her that this is the easy part - and the hard part starts when she comes home. Doc put it very bluntly - you've been experiencing life through rose-colored glasses, so to speak. Without the heroin, you won't have that "safety net" anymore, and life can really suck. It's up to you.

She was all depressed last night about all the horrible things that go on in the world. I said I think a major difference between her and me at her age (apart from the drugs) is that I didn't get depressed about the environment, the injustices, the political problems, etc. in the world - I got mad. And anger is a great motivator, but depression is more like when problems become or seem overwhelming, and depression often serves to incapacitate you, not motivate you. After her psych profile, we were told she's likely bipolar, manic depressive, and probably has an anxiety problem. As the nurse put it "Honey, you've got a lot of problems, and after detox, you've got a lot of work ahead of you." Of course, they believe that all of these problems are treatable with medication in conjunction with therapy, all of which will have to be closely monitored after detox. They REALLY recommend she participate in an in-patient rehab program, preferably for three months, but she really isn't interested in doing this. I did find a holistic rehab program that has a lot of different options (for in-patient programs and length of programs) - but it's located in North Miami Beach - which I just don't understand. That's almost the drug capital of the US! I guess that's where the demand would be - but it must make relapsing so easy. We're not thrilled about the idea of sending her there.

Anyway, we're just taking it one day at a time. We do have yoga, tai-chi, meditation, acupuncture, group therapy and individual therapy set up for when detox is done. Unfortunately classes for the Spring semester started this week, so any (esp. creative writing) of that is out right now. We've decided to forego Canyon Ranch, but at the encouragement of these detox people, we are going to go on vacation for 10 days 3 - 5 days after detox. For vacation we've decided to do a U.S. History theme - head to D.C., meander through VA and south - as we head to Naples, FL for some time at the beach, so we can all get exercise walking in the sand, some sun - and she can have as much time as she wants alone to reflect and write. As Doc put it - that sounds PERFECT! There are no drugs in Naples! And while I don't believe that's true, I do believe that it's principally a retirement area, and drugs would be a LOT harder to find that anywhere else in FL.

Tonight I told her I was really proud of her today - and she said "I know. I am too."

I just wanted to thank you all again for your thoughts and hopes for her and everything working out. It's been a real roller coaster, though we never expected less. And I really believe she's going to go through with the detox. THEN the hard part begins!!!!!

Thank you for all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
post #218 of 414
I think I won't try to find words just now
post #219 of 414
I am so glad that things seems to be moving along positively! Hopefully se can get in on Wednesday and not have to wait until Sunday.
post #220 of 414
Sending good vibes your way!
post #221 of 414
It is good to hear tht everything is going well! I'm happy to here she's finally going into detox!!!!

post #222 of 414
Laurie it's so good to hear that things seem to be going positively for Naomi and you two also. She's taking a very brave step - even though she "has" to do it now after the court hearing, the most important thing is that she'd already made that decision herself before hand.

Fingers crossed that everything goes well in detox. It won't be easy, but it will certainly be better for having a loving family around her.

Lots of positive vibes coming your way for all of you
post #223 of 414
Laurie, baby steps will get you anywhere you want to go. Remind yourself, and Naomi of that.
post #224 of 414
I'll keep my fingers crossed that she can get in on Wednesday good luck I hope it all goes well for you all
post #225 of 414
Sounds like things are still going forward. I really hope things continue in that direction.

Thankyou for the update, and as always, my thoughts are heading your way.
post #226 of 414
Thread Starter 
Well - she did it! It hasn't been fun or easy (didn't expect it to be!) - but didn't expect it to be this bad either. When it came down to the wire the second time (because we'd already left for detox once that didn't turn out to be detox because of the program, not Naomi), she was scared and reluctant. Sunday morning every 15 minutes was - "I can't do this right now" - then "I have to do this." When it came time to leave, it was "I'm going, don't rush me." We arrived at the hospital 2 1/2 hours late (we'd called to make sure that wasn't a problem).

They hooked her up to the morphine drip - after having three different nurses in to find a good vein. Poor thing - it ended up being in her right elbow, which meant it was really awkward to lie down or move around, and she had to keep her right arm straight all the time.

We were all a bit upset when we found out we couldn't stay the night in the room with her, which we'd been told we would be able to. She did NOT want us to leave. And the worst was she finally fell asleep late evening (visiting hours were technically over at 9:00pm) - and we were unable to wake her to tell her we had to go! Gary, with typical forethought, suggested we stop at a diner right next to the hospital. No sooner had we ordered than the cell phone rang with a panicing Naomi. He bolted back to the hospital for a few minutes, and the hospital did allow him up to see her for a few minutes.

But she was so uncomfortable, and starving - and they wouldn't let her drink water, they gave her a diuretic (sp?) to completely flush her system, and basically it was just a nightmare for her. (We weren't expecting no drinking of any kind - the instruction sheet they sent home with us said clear liquids, like apple juice, would be allowed. It was an issue of managing expectations).

At 4:30am she called us on the cell - she was leaving, period. We told her they would NOT let her check out "against medical advice" because of the amount of morphine she had rolling through her system - and she knowingly signed paperwork that said she understood that. She was going to leave anyway - sneak out and hitchhike home. We calmed her down to the extent possible, and beeped the doc to let him know she was having a major panic attack. Oh - right - forgot to mention. Because of the level of her habit, he'd put her on twice the morphine than is normally "prescribed." But because of that, he didn't want her to have any Xanax. This hadn't been explained to us, and if it had been, we'd have told him she would gladly trade the extra morphine for Xanax, because she does have terrible anxiety problems. So anyway, he had the nurse come in to give her a different time of anxiety medication, and she did calm down and fall back to sleep.

But they told us to expect she'd sleep through the night and all the next morning - and basically through to check out on Tuesday morning. Didn't happen. Arrived Mon morning to a very awake Naomi, on the verge of another panic attack. One of the staff from ODI came over to calm her fears about general anaesthesia. Doc ended up having to prescribe another shot of anxiety medication, and she did fall asleep for the last few hours prior to the procedure. The staff member from ODI said she'd make arrangements with the hospital for Gary to spend the night in the room with Naomi - if they promised no talking, period. They said she'd be out of it after the general anaesthesia until the evening, so at that point I headed home to clean up the house, toss all of her heroin-related paraphanalia (which Gary had already collected together Sunday night) - and search through all her stuff to make sure she hadn't stashed anything.

Because Gary wasn't allowed in recovery, he headed back up to her room. The nursing staff kicked him out, and said that he wasn't allowed to see her until he came to pick her up the next morning. Gary very carefully explained to them that there was obviously a communication problem, but he'd promised Naomi on the word of ODI that he'd be there when she woke up, and he was not going to be made a liar. Bottom-line was after meeting with many and various people (finally it was the President of the hospital), they let him stay in the waiting room in her wing - which was about two doors down from her. She called the cell freaking out when she woke up - and he told her where he was and what happened and she calmed right down.

We were told to expect that she'd have diarrhea for a day or two, and that she would feel like she had a mild case of the flu for several days.

That is not what happened. It was more like she'd gotten the worst case of seafood poisoning we've ever seen. She got home and couldn't keep anything down, had terrible diarrhea. Because of the vomiting, she can't keep any of the medication down, so she's going through withdrawl. I'm really not sure what we paid all that money for - she and Gary do point out that it's milder than if she was quiting cold turkey - but she's got the shakes, the skin crawlies, the horrible vomiting and diarrhea, and she's hallucinating - badly. She can't sleep at all. FINALLY after trying different combinations of things at the suggestion of the ODI doctor, we asked for an alternative anti-nausea medication. By Wednesday evening, there was nothing left to cause diarrhea, so they prescribed an anti-nausea drug in suppository form. That helped. She was able to keep down the sleeping pill, the valium and the anti-depressant. But as soon as she took the medication for the nerve issues, she threw up again.

We kept trying all night last night. FINALLY this morning she kept enough down that she fell asleep. And she's still asleep, thank God. She'd had a cumulative four hours of sleep since Monday, and I'm sure the sleep deprivation wasn't helping the hallucinations any.

Our hearts were just breaking though. Despite being so sick, and feeling so terrible - she apologized every time she threw up, any time she asked for something to drink she asked if she was being too greedy - and she kept thanking us for making this be able to happen for her. The Naomi on heroin was also really sweet - but the Naomi on heroin could also be a serious brat, and one that was completely self-centered and totally unaware of how her time and demands affected other people (not just us) and their schedules.

I have no idea whether or not she'll be able to stay clean. But she hasn't expressed out loud any complaints about how she's feeling (although she will tell us when asked), she keeps thanking us depsite how lousy she's feeling (and it was NOT supposed to be like this) - and she says she doesn't feel any cravings (yet), and is looking forward to being well enough to start therapy. I hope today's rest will really help, because the appointment is for tomorrow.

And those people at ODI told us Friday was too late - we needed to start therapy ASAP. So we scheduled a new appt for Wed. afternoon, but kept the Friday. It was clear Wed wasn't going to happen, so yesterday morning I called to reschedule for today - still keeping the Friday. And today I had to cancel because she's weak, she's dehydrated - and she was finally asleep, which she desperately needs. We were told that if we cancel tomorrow's appt, they will not schedule another one. "Thanks, ODI" I say sarcastically. This is the best Doc in this area for this problem. We do have another set up - but it's almost an hour away. So if Noami's not up to it, Gary or I will go keep the appt. This is just crazy stuff.

So - Naomi's been a real trooper (since discharge from the hospital). I have no idea what will happen, but now we're not even worrying about taking things one day at a time - we're just taking them one hour at a time right now. And I hope she can sleep and sleep and sleep and sleep and sleep right now. And I also hope she wakes up feeling much, much better than she has, and that she can keep some liquids and medication down.

The next few days will be very interesting!

Thank you again for all your support and vibes and prayers for her. She made it through the rough patch and is in good spirits despite the physical discomfort and the failure of reality to meet the expectations ODI set - now the real work is ahead of her.
post #227 of 414
I'm sorry that it wasn't what you expected, that it didn't seem to go that well... but that's great news that she went and she's over one hurdle!
post #228 of 414
Thanks for the update Laurie.

It's so hard watching someone you care so much for in misery, especially when there is nothing you can do for them. We'll of course continue to keep Naomi and you and Gary in our thoughts and prayers.
post #229 of 414
Keeping all of you in my thoughts and prayers,
post #230 of 414
Yeah, thankyou so much for the update.

I am so sorry for everything not going as they said. It sounds like so far she is commited, that's good. Still thinking of you all, and hoping for the best. I am glad that the update wasn't bad news exactly, it's got to be so hard. I am really glad that you two are there for her.
post #231 of 414
Laurie, I hope you are taking care of YOU through all of this and getting as much sleep as you can under such chaotic conditions.
post #232 of 414
Thanks for the update Laurie...a bummer that people in such a sensitive "helping" situation can't get their information/communication straight, and thus make it so much more difficult for the person on the receiving end. One possible silver lining: Naomi will have experienced the failure of the real world to live up to what appeared to be reasonable expectations -- at just about the worst time for her -- and discovered that she survived it, that you guys were there for her -- even if the other people screwed up.

I hope and pray that she soon gets sufficiently back on her feet to engage in her therapy and go the rest of the way on this journey. to all of you.
post #233 of 414
Glad to hear she at least over one more hurdle...I can't imagine the road ahead to be easy either. All of us here will be sending you good vibes in order to get through it.

post #234 of 414
Gosh that's awful!! I'm sorry it's been so horrible, but she's detoxed now, at least as much as she can be.. let's hope the next leg goes smoothly
post #235 of 414
You all are in my thoughts. It's a great thing you're doing. Hopefully she'll be up to making the trip to the therapist. Good luck.
post #236 of 414
Wow Im so sorry that place didn't turn out how you expected. When they tell you something especially in writing, they shouldve stuck to it all! Naomi doesn't need anymore stress added to what she already has! I hope she feels better when she wakes up and gets lots and lots of sleep.
post #237 of 414
and prayers for each of you.
post #238 of 414
You've all been through the mill. Is Naomi feeling any better today?
post #239 of 414
Thread Starter 
Thank you all so much for your good thoughts and wishes. It looks like it all ended tonight.

Naomi continued to be sick through the weekend, though not as badly as before. She couldn't keep the therapist appt. Friday, she really was still too sick. As a matter of fact, she was still throwing up as of Monday morning. We called and spoke to this therapist, and he said he was still interested in treating her. In the meantime, we had an appt. set up with a woman, which we figured she'd be more comfortable with anyway. That appointment was today at 2:00, and she did make the appointment.

She was feeling much better today, and had been getting better sleep. (And MA, thanks for thinking of us! Gary's sleep deprived, but he's an insomniac anyway. I have been sleeping odd hours, but getting between six and eight hours a night, which is pretty good under the circumstances).

As you know, we were pretty sure she's manic depressive, and probably bipolar. But there were so many differences in her personality after detox and before - which at first we ascribed to the heroin - but as time went on, it became apparent there were SO many things she didn't remember, we began to wonder if she isn't actually schitzophrenic.

So we made it to the therapist today. We met with her first, then Naomi met with her. Then we all met with her together as she went over what medication she wants to prescribe. The problem is that Naomi didn't speak up when it came to the Paxil and one other drug I don't remember the name of. Apparently she's been on Paxil in the past and doesn't like it. She did NOT speak up in the meeting, but once we got in the car she said she wasn't going to take it. Of course that led to a discussion among the three of us about why wouldn't she say anything there....

So anyway, since she's able to keep mild foods down, she and Gary were going to head out to dinner. A friend of hers was taking a bus in from the city (we've met him several times, and he's definitely not on drugs) and was going to join them for the evening.

It turns out that just before she and Gary left for dinner, she called this friend and asked why Gary was trying to kill her. He thought he "talked her down," and apologized to Gary and I later for not calling to tell us this happened.

So she and Gary are in the car on their way - and she tries to jump out of the moving car (at like 60mph). Gary does what he can to restrain her, and pulls over to the side of the road. She jumps out - and someone had pulled over to see what was going on. She runs up to that car, banging on it screaming "Help Me! Help Me!" She jumps in, and they drive off (it's some guy). Gary got the plates, called the police. He was unable to follow, or he would have. I called the hospital, and he drove to the bus station and left his number and info about her with the ticket agent.

We called her friend on the cell - and he explained what happened just before Naomi and Gary left. He also told us she's had these episodes before. He figures she'll find her way to NYC, score, and then spend the night in one of her squats. He expects either he or we will hear from her tomorrow.

So we have no idea what's going to happen. Gary is driving up and down Route 80 right now, trying to see if he can find her hitching. I expect he'll give it up soon and head home. I doubt anyone will get much sleep tonight.

I just know we're commited to this girl, and though something like this wasn't expected, we didn't expect "smooth sailing" either. And if she does end up scoring and doing heroin again, then obviously she wasn't ready to quit - or this part of her wasn't ready. I have no idea. But we'll deal with that too. We'll stick to the "one day at a time" plan.

The most important thing, right now, is that I hope she's OK.
post #240 of 414
I hope she comes home soon, I hope she doesn't score, and will keep all of you in my thoughts and prayers, it's such an inbetween time for all of you, I hope she moves towards her future, and not her past.
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