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How can I convince him?

post #1 of 46
Thread Starter 
Have any of you ever had a s/o, whether husband/wife or live in bf/gf that you knew would absolutely not agree to having a 2nd cat and you had to convince them? How did you do it? I have been seriously considering getting another cat, an orange one, I haven't made up my mind yet because I know if I decide I want one my bf is going to say NO WAY
It took 4 years of begging and pleading to get Dori, but she might like a brother or sister. I would have to wait a couple of months but once the car is paid off I would be able to take care of 2.
post #2 of 46
With me it was kinda easy because Darrell already had Tigger before I came in the picture. We were doing nights and started getting concerned that she was being left alone too much. So we went to the shelter to 'just look' and ended up coming home with Roo. Then three years later we were over at a birthday get-together with the family and someone mentions free kittens. the kittens were free and were going to be thrown out if they didn't find a good home. SO we quickly discussed if we could afford it, decided we could, and went for it. Mostly Darrell feels he needs to convince me for some reason.

I would suggest mentioning discreetly how lonely your kitty is every once in awhile. And keep your eyes open for free kitty ads. He will buckle. One day.
post #3 of 46
Speaking my mind here. If you are the sort of person who cares for cats to the amount that you do, which landed you here to become such a productive member then you need to be with a man who can support that love, and if not- it is his tough luck.
post #4 of 46
Originally Posted by hissy
Speaking my mind here. If you are the sort of person who cares for cats to the amount that you do, which landed you here to become such a productive member then you need to be with a man who can support that love, and if not- it is his tough luck.
You go girl!! My sentiments exactly!

My husband loves me. When we met he told me that he hated cats. We've known each other for 17 years now. Last week, when asked about fostering another cat, his comment was "what's one more?", as he carried the new cat condos into the house and was making plans for the outdoor cat habit-trail.

If he loves you, he will love, or at least accept what you love. If he tries to take that away that part of you, he is not being true to who you are.

(and I did divorce my first husband in part because he could not accept my love of cats)
post #5 of 46
I thought that it would be hard to convince mine about more than one or two cats when we were first married, but he has come to the realization that he likes them just as much as I do, that's why I have 6 inside cats and feed every feral and stray that comes my way, as long as the money situation doesn't go to he** in a handbasket, he doesn't say a word.
post #6 of 46
We had a former feral (old and still pretty wild) when we got JC. I knew my husband would object to getting a second cat, so I simply told him about the litter of kittens born that day to a cat being fostered by a student's mother, who belonged to the same rescue organization I belong to, and said I was going to take in one or two of the kittens. Surprisingly, he didn't object at all. He simply said that the cats would be my responsibility. He looks after JC when I'm away, but refuses to take him to the vet's for anything but an emergency, and leaves his care totally up to me when I'm home. He does play and cuddle with him all the time, though.
post #7 of 46
Heh, my friend thinks similarly in some aspects, so when the vet suggested getting another cat to make Kitty happier, we did, and it worked better than we'd expected. They're both so happy together and such good friends, and Kitty's a lot friendlier with us, calmer and less afraid of things in general.

I was never a cat person, and I learned that I can be very irresponsible, so I told him before I moved in that Kitty is his cat, not mine, and he takes full responsibility. But of course I ended up getting into cats and liking Kitty, then every cat I've met since :P Funny thing is, my friend gets lazy sometimes when he thinks something isn't "necessary" (ie putting off getting checkups, letting litter go unscooped for a day) so it's kind of nice that I'm here. If either of us get lazy or forgetful, the other reminds or helps. For example, together we've made it a habit to brush their teeth before we go to bed ^^

Hopefully your friend will give in easily and grow to love the new cat
post #8 of 46
My first husband had never owned an animal before we married. The first thing I did was to rescue a poor little pup who was absolutely adorable. I didn't discuss it with him because I knew he would say no, he was afraid of dogs, I just brought it home one day. The next thing I did was to rescue a tortie cat who hadn't been spayed and left in a shop with tom cats as well as she cats, I didn't discuss that with him either. He fell in love with both before long. He became very much a cat person. I gave him a rescued half siamese who had been abandoned by a lot of students, and then he brought home a stray. If you rescue a kittie he may feel sorry for it and fall in love with it, if he doesn't that is his loss. If he can't support the obvious love you have for the furbabes then you can't support his inconsideration. Go for it girl.
post #9 of 46
Have you try the sad puppy eyes and a couple of tears yet ??? That always did work for me If it don't work the first time keep trying with the puppy eyes and tears
post #10 of 46
Ken at first told me there was no way in L that he would let me have a cat. The Sammycat was given to me by my boss who had several kittens and was finding them all homes. I didn't ask Ken before going to pick up the kitten I just went and got him then brought him home and we discussed it then. Yeah I know kinda sneaky

Now Oscar was a rescue from a horrid death by starvation or getting hit by a forklift at the plant where Ken works. Yeah he doesn't like cats........ Riiiiiight Ken said that he was only catching him to be taken to the HS. Of course as soon as I saw him he wasn't going anywhere except to the vet to be check over
post #11 of 46
Adopting Opie was no problem. We had every intention of acquiring a cat, once we bought a house. Three months later, the Humane Society RV was at the county fair and we found Rowdy. She was an impulse adoption and she's definitely Daddy's girl.

Buddy was the potential problem. Bill was at work and I just happened to be in the Humane Society's neighborhood and "just stopped by". Buddy was so appealing, that I had to take him home.

I waited until Bill had a beer, after work and carried Buddy out to the family room. Bill took one look, said "Hi Kittles" and scratched Buddy's ears.

Buddy isn't the first cat that I've brought home,without prior consultation with the man in my life and not a single cat or man has been dispossessed because of it.

Just find a cat, bring it home and present it as a fait accompli. What's he going to do - throw you and/or the cat out into the street? If he's the kind of man who would do that, you don't want him, anyway.
post #12 of 46
squirtle...there seem to be more guys joining this site...you never know.... I will join in with Hissy....cat love is not an option for me...my future as of yet nonexistant boyfriend would have to love cats just as I do. Tigger and Habenaro are a package deal.

post #13 of 46
Thread Starter 
I mentioned it to him a little last night. He said no way. I told him Dori seems a little lonely, since I work full time and have school in the evenings, and said once I got into the nursing program I would be gone even more, and what about when I am nursing and working 12 hour shifts. He said no. I asked him if I found a poor little stranded kitty somewhere and brought it home I asked him what he would do, he said I would have to find a new place to live I don't really believe he would go to that extreme, but he is sooo against me having another

Oh, and I should mention that I didn't have any cats until Dori and I have had her for a year and a half. So it's not like I really knew ahead of time to make sure my guy loved cats too I hope he changes his mind. I would be too scared to just bring one home. He would be upset with me for being sneaky about it and if I did have to give it away once I brought it home it would break my heart

I just really started thinking about it since everything worked out so well with Susan, Rosie and Sophie I had the exact same worries and never wanted another because I didn't think Dori would approve. But in her case it really did and I think it would be great for Dori to have a brother or sister. I also look at all these cute baby pics and it makes me just want to bring another home with me
post #14 of 46
Squirtle, i grew up with cats at my parents, then i got married but my husband nor his parents had any pets at all.

Several times i asked if we could get a kitten/cat, but my husband would beg me not to.

Then i left him and lived with Richie, and it was his idea that we got Rosie as he'd never had a cat before but liked them.

Theres no way i'm going back to my husband now even though Richie and i have split, but say we did?, he would have me and my two babies because where i go they go!.

If theres one thing i get from them it's 100% unconditional love, and i never have to remind them of it either!!!

Go for it!!

Wait until you see their 'bonding' pics in fur pages!!!
post #15 of 46
Thread Starter 
Gosh I don't know what to do. I think it's probably best that I don't get another, but I want one soooo bad Can someone come here and plant a cute little orange kitty outside my door with a little sign that says he needs a home. How could my bf possibly resist.
post #16 of 46
You have a choice, boyfriend or cat. He has already compromised to one cat so I think he has been fair. If you can't see that I guess it is new boyfriend time.
post #17 of 46
Why won't he let you have another?.

I can't speak for others, but once the initial vaccines/spay/neuter are out of the way my two cost next to nothing to feed.

Unless you go looking for new toys when shopping on a saturday
post #18 of 46
Thread Starter 
Yes Gopher, I agree with you there. Bringing home Dori was a BIG accomplishment for me. That is why I don't think it would really be fair to just bring one home and demand he let me keep it, as much as I would like to. I guess I have the "once he saw it he would fall in love with it" attitude. I have been with him for a long time, almost 6 years. I am not going anywhere, he is a good guy.... for the most part I am thinking if I get him something really good for Christmas this year, a wench for his jeep (he wants one REAL bad) he will feel like he needs to get me something good, and I will be right there hinting at a new kitten

OOO and Susan, if you only knew about my picking up stuff for Dori shopping on a Saturday. Heck, on the way home from work yesterday I stopped and got her the cutest pink collar!
post #19 of 46
How about a small dog instead?
post #20 of 46
Your going to have to put the tears on like Hedi said

I cant wait for Sophie to be big enough for a collar!. I reckon with her colouring a lovely sparkly one
post #21 of 46
Thread Starter 
I used to want a SMALL little dog. But now I don't want any dogs, we are in an apartment so there isn't a yard. Plus with school and work I wouldn't be around to walk it. And I couldn't get my bf to agree to a little dog, I wanted a dachshund, but he wants a big rottie if we get any dog. He said "he doesn't want some little weenie dog" And we definately can't keep a rottie inside all the time!
post #22 of 46
After begging and pleading did not good, I finally bit the bullet and got a cat anyway. When the husband came home, I said to him, "I would like to introduce you to TC." He said, "Who's TC?" I pointed to the cat who was curled up on the couch and said, "That Cat." He fell in love with him immediately.
post #23 of 46
Thats the way to do it!!!. Straight to the point!
post #24 of 46
Thread Starter 
That is sooo funny. Maybe what I need to do is get his little boy involved in the pleading But again, I guess I shouldn't over do it, he did agree to my sweet little Dori!
post #25 of 46
i dont really know what you could do cuz ive also been beggin my bf for another kitten and hes having none of ot either
post #26 of 46
Tears always work here.
post #27 of 46
My mom grew up with dogs all her life. My dad had no animals in his life. We begged my parents for an animal. I remember when I was young (maybe 4?) we got a kitten free. We had the kitten for about a week and my uncle had to come get the kitten cause it got sick. We never saw it again.

When I was in highschool my sister just showed up with a kitten. She walked in the door with a box, opened it up, and out jumped Terazar. Mom promised Dad she would find a new home within a week. Dad buried her in the yard 15 yrs later.

Sometimes the surprise deed makes most sense.

post #28 of 46
I dont know what to tell you either. When I was in high school there was a teacher that was giving away cats and was telling everyone he had to get rid of them or his father-in-law was going to shoot them. I of course took one and told my parents I found him sitting all alone on the edge of the road and was afraid he would be run over.

Sally came so unexpectedly that when my bf got home from work one day she was here. I sulked and told him if he knew anyone that wanted her to tell them they could have her, but to make sure they were caring and would love her as much as I already did because she had been out all alone in the cold for a long time and probably didnt think anyone loved her anymore. Yes, I laid it on thick. How could he possibly find her a home after that?
post #29 of 46
I have to agree with Hissy, it's his tough luck. Go get yourself another cat!! To me, if you have to beg and plead with your b/f, then maybe now is the time to also consider your relationship before it goes any further. Your b/f should understand that you love cats and he should be willing to show his love for you, by letting you have another. I didn't intend to be so blunt about this, but it almost sounds like he wants to be too controlling.
post #30 of 46
Here are my 2 cents worth - I have to agree 100% with Hissy and John...
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