Aggression Problem

We're having trouble with Miaka, and I need some advice. For those of you who haven't seen my other posts, Miaka has been living with my fiancÃ[emoji]169[/emoji] for over 2 years now, since she was a little kitten, and she has been spayed.

I have recently moved in with my fiancÃ[emoji]169[/emoji] and Miaka is still adjusting to my presence, so I'll speak only of her relationship with him. This has been happening ever since she was a small kitten, and has nothing to do with my appearance on the scene.

Miaka will seek out attention, to the point of jumping up in my fiancÃ[emoji]169[/emoji]'s lap when she wants to be petted. She'll rub her face up against his hands and under his chin and purr, just like any other sociable cat. After a varying length of time- sometimes 30 seconds, sometimes 30 minutes, and anywhere in between- she'd start showing signs of aggression (ears lowered back, eyes widening, etc) and she'd attack him. There is no connection between when she does this and where or in what way he's petting her or interacting with her at the time. His reaction is simply to put her down and ignore her.

In recent months, her "warning signs" have decreased to the point that the past few times, she's been purring and rubbing against him, then *immediately* she starts hissing and swatting at his face, claws out, with both front feet. Before, we could ignore this as an odd quirk and let her have her way- but now it's getting dangerous to him and me, and we've got to figure out something that can be done.

We've stayed up late at night the past few nights trying to figure out what might be causing it or what might trigger it. There just aren't any similarities or common triggers that either of us can notice that might incite her to act like this. She's always been taken good care of and never hit or abused in any way. We're getting desperate here; we just don't know how to handle her. I have read the "stopping cat aggression" post, but I'd like to hear your opinions as well. Help!

I forgot to add that when he'd notice her warning signs, he'd immediately stop petting her and just let her sit there and get out of his lap when she was ready. Now that there are no "warning signs," though....

I'm glad you read the cat aggression thread, it has some great advice!

Let me make sure I am understanding correctly....in the past she would attack only while being petted, but is now attacking even if your fiance is not petting her at all?

Does it only occur with him, or does she attack you as well?

Does it only happen while sitting in his lap or does it happen when fiance is standing, or walking, or doing something else?

Give us a bit more detail so we can get a clearer picture of the problem.

She's still attacking when she's being petted, only now she doesn't show those "warning signs" like she used to.

She does occasionally attack at random, and she will sometimes also charge at him and attack after she jumps out of his lap (or out of his arms, if he's standing).

She attacks me as well, more often and more violently than she attacks him, but I don't consider that to be strange behavior for her since she's been treating me like this since I met her (about 3 months ago).

It happens when he's sitting, when he's standing, when he's walking around with her... it doesn't seem to matter or have a common cause.

I think the first thing you need to do is to take her to the vet. Cats who are in pain will behave exactly this way.

If the vet finds nothing wrong, then it is possible that she wants to be the alpha of your family group and is behaving this way to show her dominance. If so, you both will need to do the following: Any time she behaves aggressively or gives warnings of aggression, immediately scruff her and place her on her back while holding her down by covering her chest area with your hand. Say NO loudly and then immediately let go of her. By rolling her on her back, you are taking over as the alpha and proving to her that YOU are in charge, rather than her being the dominant critter in the house. You must do this every time she attacks in order to regain control of the household.

But...please take her to the vet first. The last thing you want to do to a cat who is in pain is to flip her onto her back!