Help! My cat with anxiety issues won't use the litterbox. I'm at my wits end.

Bear (3 years old, neutered male) has had stress and anxiety related behavioral problems ever since I've had him (he's been with me for about a year and a half). Whenever we're not on a regular schedule or things change, he goes a little haywire and pees and poops on the bed, the couch, or other furniture all over the apartment. I have another cat (Socks, 9 years old female, spayed) and while they aren't best friends, they've learned to get along and share the space. There are 2 litterboxes, and they both use them.

I use Nature's Miracle cleaning products to help, I have a Feliway diffuser. Bear is even on Fluoxetine (5mg daily) to help manage his stress. I put aluminum foil on the sofa and chair when I'm gone to keep him from going there when I'm not home and I close my bedroom off. I even have a tarp to cover the guest bed in the "cat room" because it was easier to wipe down and deal with than having to strip bedding and wash constantly. Plus he doesn't typically mess with the tarp - it keeps him from using that bed as a litterbox. We've even gone through long periods of time without any accidents and his stress and potty problems are normally triggered by being boarded at the vet around holidays or for longer periods of time when I'm traveling with work. He'll normally potty outside the box anywhere been 1-3 times over a couple of days and then we're back in our routine and everything is all good again. 

Both Socks and Bear recently spent a week in the vet while I was out of town - pet sitting normally doesn't work with Bear because he's on a schedule and it's typically just easier to have them at the vet in case anything does come up. However this time, both cats came home with fleas... So on top of figuring out and learning how to manage and kill a flea infestation with both kitties, Bear happens to have flea allergy dermatitis and also got an ear infection. We're home from the vet today, and hopefully on the right track to feeling better (still a bit sluggish) since I took him in on Saturday to get checked out when he was uncharacteristically lethargic for a couple of days and you guessed it - he hasn't used the litterbox for the entire past week. He's eating, drinking, and eliminating normally. Just not eliminating in the litterbox. Not as much fun to clean when you're already dealing with a cleaning frenzy brought on by fleas. (The cats were treated with Capstar and Advantage II, and I've been combing them both as much as I can to help rid of the flea dirt and whatever fleas are still there).

I'm looking for any kind of tips to help him go back to the box or deal with his stress. I know that it was likely triggered by the fleas and allergies this time, but it's been something that I've been living with (inappropriate potty habits) for over a year now and I'm officially at my wits end with it. I'm tired of having to constantly think about covering areas when I'm not home, and then having towels and puppy training pads under the couch covers to help with cleaning when he does manage to get to those spots.

Any suggestions/advice would be greatly appreciated. I'm open to anything that would positively help the situation.

My only other thought would be to rehome him, and I really don't want to get to that point. I love him and I know he loves me and the other cat - he is super affectionate and just a regular silly baby under all the stress issues and I'm too attached to let him go and have something happen to him. He's really not a bad cat - just a good cat with some dirty habits. It's just very hard to see other options, knowing all of the things I've tried and hearing a lot of people say how they would have already gotten rid of him with all the issues we've had in the past. 

Please help.

Sounds like you're all having a hard time there.   I spent many years living with puppy pads and water-proof backed covers on beds and sofas with a previous cat and feel your frustration.  Bear is lucky to live with such an understanding and patient human (and feline companion).

Have you ever tried limiting Bear's access around the home and confine him in an area he could be included in his home life but have fewer areas to fret about?  Some cats can relax more when they are confined to a familiar area and start to re-establish litter routines again.    More litter trays and boxes for choice and feeling safe might be worth trying too if you haven't already done that.

I hope you manage to persuade Bear to think inside his box again.  

Confining would be a good thing to try, not as punishment but as a way to minimize stress.  One thing to consider first, is there also separation anxiety?  If so, then the other cat would have to be confined with him.  Maybe lots of tiny hiding places in the contained area (boxes, things like that), and empty shelving that Bear could get on, as I've heard that height makes a cat feel more secure.

Thank you both for replying. I've definitely been reevaluating everything, and have tried both things. He's currently at the vet for another check up and evaluation, just to be sure there's not some other underlying issue that we've been missing. We've been living like this ever since I've had him. Things are great when we're in our regular routine, but the minute something changes or I travel (generally for work) or anything else happens, he goes haywire. This includes him being sick too, so it's a reoccurring thing when we're healthy and sick.

It's just been really stressful - I've done the puppy pads and diffusers and medication. I even have plastic covers underneath the puppy pads, and have all the stain and odor removers. It's gotten intense.

It just seems like each solution really only buys me time until the next situation or scenario pops up. I can't imagine how he must feel - living everyday with that much anxiety and stress. I know how much it's stressing me out, and the other cat that's in this situation, and we're secondary to it in that sense. It's gotten a lot better than it was initially, but we're still just moving from situation to situation. Having to live and make travel plans around it because I'm too worried to even be able to leave to do my job essentially, and living in a plastic covered and aluminum foil protected place is wearing on me. I hope that doesn't make me sound like a bad cat mom - it's just been figuring out how to manage a no win situation, seemingly.

Just asking for prayers and positive thoughts as we work to figure out the next best step to take. I just want what's best for him and everyone in the situation. 

Something to talk to the vet about, many human medicines are also used on cats for things like anxiety.  People aren't joking when they talk about kitty Prozac, it really is used to help with feline moods and anxiety.

Is there any way to move in your job to have one that doesn't include so much traveling? Your cats love you and miss you and with you gone so much it is causing a lot of separation anxiety. Most cats do well when left alone for short periods but obviously these two don't. The only other thing is can you have someone come in and house sit at all, someone that the cats can get to know and trust? A person in the house might help that can stay there. I would definitely confine them to one or two rooms, and then there won't be so much to cover, My heart goes out to you, I pray you'll find a solution, or a good antianxiety drug to help Bear, he most likely will get better with age and he finally mellows, he is still a young cat. I'll pray for you all.

I can surely relate to your situation as I faced same thing years ago---but I solved it!  I addressed this at length in a post earlier to a thread "I'm going to kill this cat...at my wit's end" on January 25, 2017.  Please read my response written last evening January 27.

I will briefly summarize: Holistic Vet advised to confine the cat to one room.  Put Bear's litter-box in there and feed him in there also, (not close to litter-box).  No it is not punishment!  Cat needs his own space.  Do not put Socks in there with him.    Vet said cats will not foul where they eat and sleep.  Do this, at least for a time to "break the pee cycle".  This will retrain him to only and always use the litter-box.  Believe me...it works!