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Aggressive cat, want to keep him but afraid of him

post #1 of 35
Thread Starter 
I just adopted a 7 month old long haired black cat and he was really fine at first. My boyfriend got him for me and he stayed with him for a week. I took him home a week later. It took him a while to adjust but ultimately he came around and started walking around, talking and being a great addition to the family. He showed me signs of trust by rolling around on his belly, letting me pet him, following me around. I thought I was doing great and he was happy.
One day I had to go get my hair done so i was away for a pretty long time and he was alone. I came back and I gave him some attention but I was pretty tired. He got on the bed with me and was falling asleep and ever so often would wake up and inch closer to me. When I fell asleep he graced me with his paw. I found that I wasn't getting any sleep so I decided to go upstairs to my room (I keep him downstairs) when I tried to leave he repeatedly meowed, so I was guessing that he didn't want me to leave. When I got back on the bed he jumped up and my feet were in the air and he started biting them. It startled and scared me. I got down and poured him some kitty food and that seemed to calm him but he upset me and I left.

The second time, he was playing on a ladder in my basement and it looked like he was stuck so I tried to get him down and he bit me. I walked away and sat on the ground in my basement and he got down, sat next to me and bit my leg. I attributed this to being hungry and I fed him, but it increased my fear of him.
Another day, he kept going up and down the steps and I'd follow him, then it appeared as though he was going to attack me, he put himself in between the banister and swatted like he was going to scratch and bit the stair handle. It scared me.

The next time my boyfriend was over and we were on the bed, he jumped up on the bed and looked at me and started to bite me. He bit my arm and I climbed away from him. Then he scratched me I fed him as I thought he was hungry

The last time, my boyfriend sat him on my lap and he digged his claws into my leg, reached down and bit it.

I'm really getting discouraged can anyone tell me why he's doing this? Just the day before he was following me around, letting me pet him and talking purring rubbing against me. What am I doing wrong? This cat does have a history of abuse suffered from another cat, could that be it? Could it be that I'm away too much? Any suggestions would be extremely helpful, thank you
post #2 of 35
Thread Starter 
I also would like to add that he never does anu of this to my boyfriend, he is in fact very affectionate with him which also upsets me :/
post #3 of 35
Does he hiss, growl, etc. when he bites or scratches you? Also, has he been neutered? When he bites, does it draw blood?

Some of it sounds like he may be playing or giving "love bites", and some of it sounds like typical unneutered cat behavior.
post #4 of 35
Thread Starter 
He dosent hiss or growl, and he hasn't been neutered. Could that be the reason why?

It does seem like at times he wants to attack, he stares at me intently and looks on the offense which is something he didn't used to do either :/
post #5 of 35
He absolutely needs to be neutered. Get that done ASAP and then see how things progress. That is the very first thing to be done in an effort to find out why he is doing this.
post #6 of 35
Yeah I'd say he's probably feeling his oats laughing02.gif. He's at that age. Better have him neutered soon. That may be one reason he's rough with you and not your boyfriend---you're his special lady wink.gif.
post #7 of 35
Thread Starter 
Okay, thank you so much. I'm taking him to the vet tomorrow so hopefully I can get the problem fixed soon, and hopefully his behavior changes
post #8 of 35
Thread Starter 
Update:
Spooky seems to be doing better now. He attacked my feet when I was going up the stairs so I figured maybe I'm not playing with him enough. He's been following me around this morning since I came home from work and meowing a lot. He didn't eat until I got there. He stood in front of me and started meowing, and I gave him a little pet and he didn't bite and wasn't aggressive. He also rubbed his cheek onto my stoarage container (what does this mean?)

I think I wore him out now as he went downstairs to his little haven.
I have another question, he's been scratching up my sofa a lot lately, could that be because he's marking territory? It's kind of irritating my father
post #9 of 35

Rubbing his cheek on anything is great. He is leaving his scent and making your place 'our place'. Cats mix their scent in with their environment and it becomes home for them. I am dealing with inappropriate scratching too. I have bought several scratching posts and placed them around the house. Then when my little guy scratches where I don't want him to, like my couch, I try to catch him and move him to one the scratching posts. Also, I give him treats when he uses one. You did get him fixed right? That should help a lot.

post #10 of 35

He really, REALLY needs to be neutered or he is going to start marking in more unpleasant ways!  It does sound as if you are his "special lady"...and he definitely needs to see you as momma instead of his woman.  I really believe, as others have said, once neutered you will see a definite change in his personality.

Even if you believe his behavior is improving, he definitely needs to be neutered! 

post #11 of 35
Thread Starter 
Update: I took him to the vet Tuesday. Turns out he is NOT neautered and strangely, the vet thinks he's older than 7 months.

He did such s great job at the vet, didn't give them any problems. I could tell before we went he didn't want to go, we had to force him into the cage and he cried all the way there. I think he thought we were sending him off to a new home.

The vet said his behavior towards me is mainly because he hasn't been neutered and probably sees me as a mate more than a mother, and she gave me some info so I could have a better relationship with him. When we got home he was following me around being very affectionate. They said he was an extremely good cat and I had nothing to worry about. Thank you guys for all your advice smile.gif
post #12 of 35
Quote:
Originally Posted by spookysmom234 View Post

Update: I took him to the vet Tuesday. Turns out he is NOT neautered and strangely, the vet thinks he's older than 7 months.

He did such s great job at the vet, didn't give them any problems. I could tell before we went he didn't want to go, we had to force him into the cage and he cried all the way there. I think he thought we were sending him off to a new home.

The vet said his behavior towards me is mainly because he hasn't been neutered and probably sees me as a mate more than a mother, and she gave me some info so I could have a better relationship with him. When we got home he was following me around being very affectionate. They said he was an extremely good cat and I had nothing to worry about. Thank you guys for all your advice smile.gif

I'm glad you got some more information! Can you have him neutered soon?
post #13 of 35
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by talkingpeanut View Post

I'm glad you got some more information! Can you have him neutered soon?

Not sure if I can frown.gif the vet I went to said it would cost about 300 dollars which I'm not sure I can afford right now. I understand it's an urgent matter so I'm gonna see if i can work something out with my parents

Also, does getting him neutered mean he won't be able to mate with another cat and make kittens?
post #14 of 35
Yes, neutering means he won't be able to make kittens.

There may be a low-cost spay/neuter clinic nearby. If you post your general area, somebody might be able to help with that. Or call all the animal welfare agencies within driving range and ask if they know of anything.

Young intact males can get pretty obnoxious :/.
post #15 of 35
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Willowy View Post

Yes, neutering means he won't be able to make kittens.

There may be a low-cost spay/neuter clinic nearby. If you post your general area, somebody might be able to help with that. Or call all the animal welfare agencies within driving range and ask if they know of anything.

Young intact males can get pretty obnoxious :/.

I live in oxon hill Maryland. I'll definitely look into that thank you
post #16 of 35
Quote:
Originally Posted by spookysmom234 View Post

Not sure if I can frown.gif the vet I went to said it would cost about 300 dollars which I'm not sure I can afford right now. I understand it's an urgent matter so I'm gonna see if i can work something out with my parents

Also, does getting him neutered mean he won't be able to mate with another cat and make kittens?

Did you want him to mate and have kittens or are you just clarifying?
post #17 of 35
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by talkingpeanut View Post

Did you want him to mate and have kittens or are you just clarifying?

I'm moving with my boyfriend soon and we were thinking about getting another cat for him to mate with to have kittens, we'd keep one of them and sell the others. Now I'm not so sure if his behavior problems will persist if it's not done immediately
post #18 of 35
It's a bad idea to deliberately allow non-purebred cats to have kittens anyway. It's VERY hard to find good homes for them---the thought of selling them for any particular amount of money is almost laughable! It's hard enough to get someone to pay $20 to cover their vaccinations. It costs a lot to raise kittens, there's no way you'd recover the expenses. Plus the shelters are already killing millions of kitties for lack of homes. Cats are very efficient procreators.

And, yeah, you don't want this behavior to continue. The longer he goes on acting like that, the more of a habit it will become. Most breeders keep separate quarters for their breeding studs, because most toms don't make very agreeable housepets.
post #19 of 35
Quote:
Originally Posted by spookysmom234 View Post

I'm moving with my boyfriend soon and we were thinking about getting another cat for him to mate with to have kittens, we'd keep one of them and sell the others. Now I'm not so sure if his behavior problems will persist if it's not done immediately

Yeah, that's really not a great idea. Living with two intact cats is nearly impossible. They have to be separated and you'd need to deal with all sorts of marking and aggressive sexual behavior. It's also not a happy life for your cats - they are out of control with hormones and mating is quite painful for the female. It should only be done to further a breed.

In addition, breeding is very expensive. You would need money for emergencies, as you are risking the health of your female, but also food, litter, vaccines for a whole little family. It's MUCH more than a neuter.

It sounds like neutering asap would be the best choice.
post #20 of 35

This may sound awful, but unless you are a professional breeder you really don't need to be bringing more cats into the world.  There are too many homeless and uncared for as it is.  The cats aren't missing out on a "life experience" in any way by not mating and having kittens, it is a miserable experience all around for them (and for you) if  you aren't experienced and have the funds ready to dish out.  Much more if there is an emergency during labor and delivery, or ill or malformed kitten you must take to an emergency vet off-hours.  And if you are unable to afford the $300, breeding and caring for a litter of kittens would be impossible.  And it's just wrong to bring them into the world with no ability to provide healthcare or guaranteed good homes.  Most people are not going to pay for a kitten unless it is registered from a good line and comes from a respected, reputable breeder.  I wouldn't bet on making money off of them.

Please neuter, don't breed.  I don't mean to sound harsh, but it is the absolute truth.

 

And...if he hasn't already, he is going to start spraying in your house, your clothes, furniture...if you've never experienced the spray smell from a tomcat, get ready!

post #21 of 35
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by hbunny View Post

This may sound awful, but unless you are a professional breeder you really don't need to be bringing more cats into the world.  There are too many homeless and uncared for as it is.  The cats aren't missing out on a "life experience" in any way by not mating and having kittens, it is a miserable experience all around for them (and for you) if  you aren't experienced and have the funds ready to dish out.  Much more if there is an emergency during labor and delivery, or ill or malformed kitten you must take to an emergency vet off-hours.  And if you are unable to afford the $300, breeding and caring for a litter of kittens would be impossible.  And it's just wrong to bring them into the world with no ability to provide healthcare or guaranteed good homes.  Most people are not going to pay for a kitten unless it is registered from a good line and comes from a respected, reputable breeder.  I wouldn't bet on making money off of them.
Please neuter, don't breed.  I don't mean to sound harsh, but it is the absolute truth.

And...if he hasn't already, he is going to start spraying in your house, your clothes, furniture...if you've never experienced the spray smell from a tomcat, get ready!

Not offending me in anyway! In fact, I agree. Caring for spooky is expensive in itself, I'm trying to find a way around going through my vet to get him neutered, a whopping 300 dollars is too much for me right now!

He's being such a good kitty right now, I haven't found any poop or smells anywhere as of yet and his bratty behavior has calmed down, but I will definitely be looking into getting him fixed ASAP.

Now my bf was also hinting at getting me another kitten, will apply not being fixed be a problem in that aspect? We've talked about a lot of things regarding this matter. He originally wanted to grt me a baby kitten and settled on spooky which my vet said looks much older than 7 months

Sorry if I'm asking so many questions! Lol
post #22 of 35
Quote:
Originally Posted by spookysmom234 View Post

Not offending me in anyway! In fact, I agree. Caring for spooky is expensive in itself, I'm trying to find a way around going through my vet to get him neutered, a whopping 300 dollars is too much for me right now!

He's being such a good kitty right now, I haven't found any poop or smells anywhere as of yet and his bratty behavior has calmed down, but I will definitely be looking into getting him fixed ASAP.

Now my bf was also hinting at getting me another kitten, will apply not being fixed be a problem in that aspect? We've talked about a lot of things regarding this matter. He originally wanted to grt me a baby kitten and settled on spooky which my vet said looks much older than 7 months

Sorry if I'm asking so many questions! Lol

I would definitely get him neutered and settled before getting another kitten. I would also put aside a vet emergency fund before adopting another. You want to make sure you can take care of anything that comes up for Spooky in addition to a new cat.
post #23 of 35
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by talkingpeanut View Post

I would definitely get him neutered and settled before getting another kitten. I would also put aside a vet emergency fund before adopting another. You want to make sure you can take care of anything that comes up for Spooky in addition to a new cat.

Okay! Thanks for all your help smile.gif
post #24 of 35
Quote:
Originally Posted by spookysmom234 View Post


Not sure if I can frown.gif the vet I went to said it would cost about 300 dollars which I'm not sure I can afford right now. I understand it's an urgent matter so I'm gonna see if i can work something out with my parents

Also, does getting him neutered mean he won't be able to mate with another cat and make kittens?

You can apply for a Care Credit card. Anything over $200 they allow, I believe, up to 6 months to pay off, interest free.

post #25 of 35

I really didn't mean to possibly offend, but it is just all  so common and so true.....so many people breed their kitty babies and don't realize what they are getting themselves all into.

 

I hope he doesn't spray inside your house...it is an unforgettable odor.  It's not really a poop smell, yet not really a pee smell either--it is just horrifically stinky!

Try the Care credit....you can Google Care Credit Vet and it will pull it up

 

And Spooky is adorable!  What a pretty boy!!

post #26 of 35

While Maryland is a bit more expensive than St Louis, 300 is REALLY HIGH for neutering. I paid around 250 for a spay (a more involved and expensive surgery) from a vet, and that was on the high end (I paid a bit extra for an AAHA certified practice that doesn't perform routine declawing.)

 

Even if you can't get a discounted neuter, you can still call around, you can probably find a vet to neuter your boy for closer to 150 ( maybe less).

post #27 of 35
Quote:
Originally Posted by spookysmom234 View Post


Not sure if I can frown.gif the vet I went to said it would cost about 300 dollars which I'm not sure I can afford right now. I understand it's an urgent matter so I'm gonna see if i can work something out with my parents

 

 

 

 

Look into low cost spay and neuter clinics in your area. They cost much less than a regular vet office. Some places may have income imits so be sure to check the web site or call for more info. Here are some in the MD area:

 

http://mda.maryland.gov/spay_neuter_program/Pages/Free-Spay-and-Neuter-Services.aspx

http://www.marylandpet.com/low_cost_spay_neuter_clinics_maryland.htm

http://www.pgspca.org/clinic/fees/

http://www.paw-rescue.org/sn.php

http://www.spay.org/ (if you live close to VA)

http://www.humanerescuealliance.org/spay-neuter

post #28 of 35
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sargon View Post

While Maryland is a bit more expensive than St Louis, 300 is REALLY HIGH for neutering. I paid around 250 for a spay (a more involved and expensive surgery) from a vet, and that was on the high end (I paid a bit extra for an AAHA certified practice that doesn't perform routine declawing.)

Even if you can't get a discounted neuter, you can still call around, you can probably find a vet to neuter your boy for closer to 150 ( maybe less).

We pay $85 for a spay/neuter.
post #29 of 35
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Primula View Post

We pay $85 for a spay/neuter.

Where are you located?
post #30 of 35
Quote:
Originally Posted by spookysmom234 View Post

Where are you located?

Connecticut. It's a mobile team that no longer comes to our town, but one of the neighboring towns that we can drive to. We've used them for years.
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