My male cat is biting me. How can I stop this?

My SO and I live with our 2 cats, Hunter and Louie. We got Hunter together, but I've had Louie ever since he was born, when I still lived at my parents house. So he's pretty much grown up with me. He was a typical kitten. He's not a super affectionate cat; doesn't like to be picked up and only likes to be petted when HE wants to be petted. He's been displaying some behaviours I'm not thrilled with and they've just been getting worse, despite our efforts to stop them.

1) Aggression? when he wants to be petted, he'll walk under your hand and headbutt you and pretty much "pet himself" against you. He can get pushy. I don't know if he gets overstimulated or what because sometimes he'll suddenly flip out and bite me really hard. Only me, though. Not my SO, not my parents when we lived at home. I thought I was overstimulating him, so I would restrict my petting to certain areas, or taper off, or stop all together. Everything I do, including just ignoring him, results in me getting bit. He also does this when he's begging for food and I ignore him. I'll walk by, and he'll attack my foot.

Is he trying to show me who's boss? He doesn't do this to anyone else, so I'm wondering if it has something to do with me being the only female in the house? When I lived at home, he slept with me every night in bed, and even sleeps with me/us in bed now once in a while- so I don't think he hates me or anything.

2) Constantly meowing and wanting to eat.  the meowing. I posted about this several months ago and haven't made much progress. We have one cat who, after getting fixed, gained weight. His coat has been dull lately, so we decided to put them on a low-carb wet food diet and limit the dry food. They eat at 7-8AM and 7-8PM every night.  Louie is fit and lean, whereas Hunter is chunky. But Louie eats WAY more than Hunter. He's begging for food 2 hours after he's been fed. I don't understand it. I keep a squirt bottle next to me in bed because SO and I both work nights and he keeps us up meowing and meowing. We live in an apartment and if I knew he wouldn't tear the carpet to shreds, I'd lock him out of the bedroom.

I think him being bored and wanting to play might play a factor in this. Admittedly we haven't been setting aside enough time to play with them after work the last few months. So I'm going to start this up again and see if it makes a difference.

He's not a bad cat, he's just got some bad behaviours I'd like to lessen or get rid of completely. Any advice? I might end up taking him to the vet after tax season. Maybe he needs some sort of medication. I've been wondering if Feliway might do anything for this situation?

Louie (black), Hunter (tabico)

Our cats bite my husband really hard, too. They don't bite me, but I think it's because I play with them differently. It's always been my rule that as soon as the claws or teeth come out, I walk away and leave them to settle down. This may not be the case with Louie, though.

It sounds like he's suffering from jealousy or is upset with the living arrangements (you didn't say how long you and your SO have been living together). If it's a recent change, he'll calm down once he figures out that he's still loved as much as ever.

The meowing would worry me, though, particularly since you say he's hungry within a couple of hours of eating. A vet exam would be a good idea to rule out any kind of physical ailment. Cats are really good at hiding problems, so you can't really tell by watching them if everything is okay.

I hear that Feliway is very good. It comes in a spray as well as a plug-in. I'd use the spray in Louie's case, since Hunter seems to be fine. Spritzing him with water won't change his behavior, though. I know from experience...

Let us know how things go. Best of luck with the biting.

Best regards,

Phyllis Harber-Murphy

I don't think it's a jealousy thing. When I lived at home, we had 7 cats (I count 2 feral, outdoor cats we take care of in the winter) so he was around other animals all the time. Dogs, too. We initially moved out on our own for a few months, got Hunter, and then when Hunter settled in we brought Lou home. Lou was the youngest cat at my parents place and we thought he'd get along better with someone his own age. We've all been living together 2 years now.

I know all cats are different, but another strange thing I've noticed about Louie is his claws are really long. Like even when he's just sitting, the tips are poking out. I wonder if it might be uncomfortable for him? The length has actually caused a few accidental scratches before. I want to try to clip them but haven't found a way to get near him without him freaking out and clawing my face off...lol

Yeah, I guess I'll just try the Feliway and get him an exam when I get the money.

My kitty was a biter. She drew blood every day. I started giving a sharp "HEY !" when she did it. It has stopped her almost completely, and when she does do it she does it softly. Hasn't been any blood for a couple months. 

Hey there. Just catching up on TCS and wondering how Louie's biting is going? Is he getting better?

You mentioned his claws - I always have the vet trim my cats' claws when they go in for a check-up. None of us is comfortable with me doing it and the vet doesn't mind charging me extra for the service :-)

Cats act differently with other cats, just like people do. When we brought Bertha home, we already had Mr. Grimsby, who was about eight years older and not in the best of health. They never associated and the few times they did, she would frighten the living daylights out of him by pouncing on him. He just wasn't a cat-friendly cat.

Mr. Grimsby passed away a little over a year ago. After a few months in deep grief, we decided that Bertha needed a playmate, so we adopted Albert from our local shelter. The dynamics are totally different - they play together, eat together, sleep together and groom each other. But - if Bert disturbs a petting session with me, Bertha's claws come out - literally! She'll chase him out of the room every time. She is fiercely protective of her limited one-on-one time with me. That's why I suggested jealousy could be an issue.

Post to let us know how the biting thing is going!