questions and help!

I came across this site because about 3 months ago my cat disappeared. I have that thread and post in Cat SOS. I also started writing about this stray that came around often. There are a few usuals around here but one specifically. .needs help.

People on here have been helpful and I am learning. Some suggested groups that help take care of strays but i don't k ow how to go about it or if anything like that is here cause it seems people dont care and just put their cats outside and i fear it's too late to help..especially the one I'm going to talk about now. I do put food on my porch for the ones around here and even the ones that come and go and sometimes never see again. This might be long and I'm sorry.

Before my cat disappeared(I'm still looking for him) cats would come and go and there are a few ususals. One grey one started coming but he would keep his distance and would come eat after i go in the house. One day he let me pet him and was fine and would come and go. Then after my cat disappeared he started coming around alot..they were around at the same time and both are neutered so thats not why mine is missing. So he started staying here on and off on my porch. I didnt know that anything was wrong with him.

He ate and drank, sat and laid with me on the porch and on my lap. Went crazy when i gave him treats. He was fine. He purrs with me. But at times he would eat and his eyes would tear and he would lick his lips and his mouth so i thought maybe it's his teeth. My mom's dog had problems with his teeth and did that. Then his nose was running a little bit. So i thought like people if something is bothering you, your eyes tear and nose runs. I've had cats and dogs but i never had these problems. So I'm learning with everything. Other than that he was fine and acted fine. He wasn't sneezing or coughing but when he drank sometimes he did a 'fft' i thought oh water went up his nose cause it happens to my cats. Also sometimes after eating he would do a little 'ca' like a hair ball. Like my cats and dog. There eyes tear sometimes and hairballs too so i didn't think it was that serious until a few days ago.

I feel so horrible. And i feel like its my fault. I also feel stupid..but i didn't know until i mentioned details on here the other day. That it could be a URI. Now I'm not sure if I can even help him. Like i said I'm learning.

To be honest i have a sick family that i help, and 2 cats and a dog plus the missing cat. We can just afford that. So i really want to help these cats cause noone else would. I took 2(1 i have and 1 thats missing) in cause the guy left them outside and didnt care then moved. The other i had since birth. I know people would say why have them if you cant afford to. But I've had them when i could and im not giving them up. I can't. I know people do but i cant. I rather help them than do stuff for myself.

So I've become very attached to this grey cat. I love him and I'm pretty sure he likes me by the way he acts. Now I'm an emotional wreck over this one and my missing one. I can't do much cause I'm not sure how to and if these things are available in my area. So i feed them and give them shelter on my porch.

This is what i mentioned in my post for my missing cat about this grey one.

this grey cat has been staying on my porch on and off. Friendly towards me and purrs alot. He likes me and of course i became attached very quickly. Well, he licks his lips alot like his mouth bothers him like something is in it. It seems that way when he eats too. Me and my mom figured we would just love him and feed him and see how he is. But he started doing that and I'm getting worried that instead of getting better he might be getting worse. I know cats and dogs eyes tear but his does too and sometimes he doesn't let me clean them. And when i do it seems like it bothers him. Sometimes regular tears, other tines like an off color now. Could that be a sinus problem or something?. His nose runs too sometimes. When he eats. And it makes me think of when my moms dog had problems with his teeth and was losing them. I want to help him amd i thought i was by feeding him cause he's been coming for food then kind of staying on and off but now I'm worried. The only way i can really help him is calling animal rescue a few towns over to come and get him to help him. I've called them before. But at the same time i want him to stay here. My mom even figured he would definitely be in the house by the winter but i can't afford it. Maybe a vet visit but not at this moment. And if i go to humane society few blocks away they will probably tell me since hes a stray that i can't keep him especially if i dont have the money right now to get him checked. I feel so bad. I don't want him to die. Last night around 12am he was here for a while then left and didn't see him until 6pm today. That's the routine he had in the beginning but then he started staying more. Well he left again after a while and I'm worried. I call him but he doesn't come. Last night too. It's been very hot so i thought maybe that's a reason why he was like that but today he wasn't exactly the way he was other days. I keep looking at cause i do it for Blue but also now to check on him but he's not back yet. He would sit with me on the porch and purr. He's sweet. He would be on the porch but he's bot here often the past day and a half going on night. I became very attached to him and even my mom says he looks for me when she goes out. And as soon as i go out he comes next to me. He didn't do that yesterday when he came back. But he ate a little bit. Not much. And that's it. I want to keep him and take care of him. If i call rescue they will just take him and then i will never see him again. I know that sounds selfish and i should do what's best for him but i don't want him to be put down if noone adopts him when they make him better. I always worry about that woth animals. Helping him is what's best for him but the only way to do that is calling rescue. If only they could check him out for me so i knew what was wrong..but nothing is free. I would pay for medsoif he needs them but i can't do it all at once. I just dont want him to leave me. He's still not back on the porch. If something were to happen i would never forgive myself. I'm already an emotion wreck cause of Blue, but this one came and he made me feel a little better but still sad. Then sad causrof him. So it's like I'm an emotional wreck over my missing one and him. I don't want to lose him too. I don't know.

That's when some helped me by saying its an URI. My problem is how can I help. I also ran into some issues. And update with that is.. the day he was here last-a few days ago. He drank and ate..seemed ok but he left at 12 or 1am didn't come back. Then the next day when he was here he came at 630pm drank but didn't eat cat food but a piece of ham. Then around 730pm he left..didn't come back. I went around the next day to look under cars cause i didn't like the way he looked. I said great i didn't know now something is wrong i can't help especially if hes not here. He didnt come at all yesterday plus the day before he wasn't like his usual self. But still loving with me. Well this morning he came. And i tried to keep him here to get him help amd that didn't work. Amd he just left an hour ago. Poor think drank but didn't eat. And you can tell his eye teared a little and his nose. Plus it looked like a little drool. Am i too late in helping him. Would they euthanize him without trying to hell him? Can i help him on my own? I'm in tears over this now too. Please help.

i called rescue when he was here and i told her that i was calling about a cat that came a little while ago. Said that he came and i put food out for him cause i felt bad. And then he came back a few days ago and wouldn't eat. Then disappeared for a day then came back this morning but isnt eating but drinking. And i think something is wrong. She asked me what and i told her. She said sounds like an upper respiratory infection. Its common with strays. I said when he came the other day he was ok and ate. She said shes not sure if they can help him cause of others they have there. And that if i can bring him there its fine. I said i have no one that would take me. They said to pick up a cat it would be 50 dollars. I said why. She said their policy is that if youre feeding that cat it would be 50. I said i fed him cause i felt bad that he was outside. And i can't help. I don't like that people put their cats outside. I dont have it. She said well thats the policy. I said i dont want him to die. She said she knows/understans. And that i can bring him if i can and they can see or its 50 dollars. I started to cry. Told her I'll see what i can do. She said just call back. Now from what i toldher she only knows the cat was here the othet day, day after and today. 3 damn times. So now its my responsibility cause i fed him and they can't get him. I'm in tears talking and its like bring him or 50 dollars. If i had 50 dollars i wouldnt be calling you.

Stupid me. Maybe if i knew that then i would not have said that he came here days ago. I tried to help. I thought maybe saying what i said about him eating or not eating was helpful. Now i just hurt him more. I'm stuck bad. From what i gathered from her response was that they arent sure if they can help cause of the others they have there. So either way hes going to ...you know.

I don't want him to you know if he can be helped. Like give him a chance. Not well we will see. I was mad and hurt. I felt like saying stuff to her but i didn't. Now I'm worried that i hurt his chances. And i will never forgive myself if something happens to him on the street since he's not here. I cant even check on him. I blame myself for not calling sooner but i wouldve messed up anyway if i mentioned feeding him. Stupid me. I feel like i hurt him now.

Something i told someone about the rescue was...I was so close to saying things but i didn't. I was and still am upset. Their website says basically no animal left behind and they try to help the ones in need even though they can be full they try. To me it's like what happened to that? I have one in need..not just euthanize try to help atleast. I dont want him to die without having a chance..But no its my responsibility cause i fed him. So you can't pick him up without money. If i had money i wouldn't be calling you. I would take care of him myself. I felt like saying that. I was crying even on the phone when she said that and i was talking. Now, i do feel kind of responsibe. Even if i called sooner i wouldve said the same thing..that he's been coming here and I'm worried. I didnt know that was wrong. Like I'm atleast feeding them so they don't die on the street from starvation or dehydration. I don't have to but i do..and you can't come. That's what i felt like saying. I did say i fed him (not all)cause i felt bad and didnt want him to die. Then after she said its an uri i said i don't want him to die i want him to be helped (in tears) still nothing. 50 or bring him there. Which like i said before they probably wont even give him a chance. That makes me sad and mad. I'm not in a good mood today.

I want to help him soo bad. And now he left again. I hate this and myself for not atleast coming on here sooner to ask people. But i didn't know. It's my fault. First my cat now this one. I tried calling him but nothing. He knows my voice and i guess what i call him too. I did the same thing the day he didnt come. But when he came today..i said what i call him and he looks at me and meows. Probably saying help me. I'm heartbroken again. I feel helpless again. So frustrating.

This is also something i said to someone about today..


My uncle said he will call using his phone tomorrow. I said its the same on call girl. Cause few months ago i called about a kitten that was in my alley crying. She said try to feed it wet food and if it eats it call back and we will come if it doesnt then leave it alone. It could be seperated from its mother and thats why its crying and hiding..its waiting for its mother. I called back saying it wasnt eating it and she said if its still there in the morning she will come get it. She doesnt want to risk it not eating by hand and they didnt have any cats that were nursing. So i couldn't do anything. The kitten wasnt there in the morning so i hope it found the mom.

But this girl i talked to today sounds like the same girl. The 2 times someone came over the years it was 2 different people. But like i said my uncle said he will just say this cat is in my yard today and he looks sick can you get him? I said she's going to know its probably the same cat just a different person. Wouldn't you think so? I don't know.

Right now he's not on the porch like he would be. He left and went by one of the water bowls to drink. He was done, i picked him up and put him on the porch but he laid at the edge. He does that but he didnt lay like he normally does. Just kind of went hunched down like how cats do. Then i had to go inside. I came back he wasnt here. I found him though. He's in between the houses (row home with a walkway in between)under a board we have against our side. I went to pet him and like usual he meowed and purred. A little while after mom wemt out in the back and i came out and she called him. I asked where did he go she said over there to use the bathroom (the dirt) i said hey and called him. He came walking towards me and meowed. I asked my mom if he was walking ok cause she saw him walk there and back and she said yea. Then i went in for a minute came back she said he went back under the board. I went to see him. He loves me,i think anyway. He purrs with me. I don't like that he's there and not on the porch.

But now he left. I saw him, he went to the bathroom, i picked him up to stay on the porch but he went back down on the grass/dirt and went to the bathroom again. I tried to see if he would eat. But nope. Hes not eating anything now. When he did 2 days ago. He let me wipe his face a little bit earlier cause there was a little drool i guess. but i tried feeding him a little piece of chicken to see if he will eat it cause he likes treats and wouldnt eat the food. he smells it and acts like he usually does especially cause its that. But he wont eat it. I don't know what to do. I feel stuck. Then he left.

Is there anything. I'm not even sure if i posted this in the right forum. It's about a stray but also kind of sos.

I do want to know if anyone can help me where there is a group that helps you take care of them. I can't have this keep happening. And i cant just ignore a cat that comes. Please. Anyone. Thank you very much. And I'm sorry i put alot of posts.

@BellaB you have written so much it's difficult to know where to start. 

You have a stray boy that you are very worried about.  You can't take him in yourself of take him to the vet and you want to know if there are any places that can help. 

Is that the case?  If so, just in a general way, where are you?