I hate Valentines day...

I'm not trying to be a downer, or be totally negative...but I hate it...I really do. All it does is remind me of the way things used to be, 10 years ago, when Valentines Day actually meant something...and I feel like the only person on the face of the earth who is married and yet doesn't feel like valentines day is special anymore or that he even really cares. All I hear is "Oh, I've been married for years and we love each other to death and he is my total sweetheart" Well....good for you. (sorry, just bitter right now, please forgive me)

They didn't have any cards that said..."Most of the time I want to kill you, but I still love you" so I bought one that said how sweet he was and how helpful and supportive he was....blah. I hope when he reads it he realizes what a joke it is. (and of course I'm not serious about wanting to kill him, I'm just very mad at him right now.)

lol.. I feel you.

Don't feel alone Debby- Valentine's Day is usually a big disappointment for me too. If I get a card, I'm doing really well. Last year I got a something, but it was because he started a fight with me and felt guilty about it.

I could happily skip this holiday.

I know how you guys feel. This year is the first in 8 years that I'll be spending it alone. Looking back at those years, I was practically alone then so I don't know why it bothers me so much to be completely alone now. I guess I just have always wanted to be one of the lucky ones who's SO made the day special for them.

Maybe next year...but I won't count on it!

Originally posted by Shell
I guess I just have always wanted to be one of the lucky ones who's SO made the day special for them.

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So would I..for once in my life

Debby, I totally agree with you. I hate Valentine's Day too. When you're single it's depressing, and if you're not then you are extremely lucky not be disappointed at the very least. Yes, I know there are some who are very, very lucky with how their S/Os work for Valentine's Day, and that it is truly heartfelt. I just think it's about someone else trying to make a lot of money.

Either that, or a bunch of men trying to stay out of trouble. Most of the men I have ever talked to hate it, too, but they get some contrived gift so as not to be in the doghouse. I think the only people who truly think it's great are couples who are in that 'madly in love' stage. If you keep looking over the shoulders of what others have, what the advertisers make you think you are missing out on, or some fantasy idea of what you should be getting, you're bound to be nothing but disappointed.

I so sorry Debby!

We dont have Valentines day here, they have tried advertising it in the last year, but this year there have been less ads than last year. The ads are from the flower shops, underware shops and such, but we dont have any Valentines cards.

The way this day is in the US (I´ve been there once on this day), it´s like it´s all about selling and the people who are in love are happy about it, but others, that are not in love, are in a bad relationship or single, I think feel equally bad on this day, getting their nose rubbed in how they are not as happy as "the others" - or as they "should be"

Originally posted by Deb25
I think the only people who truly think it's great are couples who are in that 'madly in love' stage.

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I think there´s no need for an officially chosen lovers day, I think that if people want to show their s/o their love, a normal Tuesday is a much better day for that, than some day somebody else makes them "have to" show their love.

Valentines Day means nothing to me now, and it never has. The only time I've ever received anything for Valentines Day was when I was a kid in school, when we used to bring Valentines Cards to everyone in our class.

I'm in a long-term relationship and I'm engaged.

We're the perfect couple.

Why are we perfect? Well we let each other know that we love one another. We work through our problems and forgive each other. We don't need a continual supply of "I love you" cards or extravagant floral arrangements to show each other this. We don't need all of this to justify our love to each other.

It's the small things that count. The everyday mundane things. It's not the fanciful things that matter in the end. It's what we do and how we do things that count.

So what if there isn't a heart shaped box of chocolates on Valentine's Day. It doesn't mean that the love you share is diminished. Perhaps it's surpassed the commercialisation of love. A heart shaped box of chocolate on any of the remaining days of the year would surely have more meaning. It didn't require the inunndation of advertising to prompt the act.

Valentine's day isn't a day of gifts. It's a day of love. Reflect on why you're with someone. Look at the positive of what they do. What does your significant other do to make you smile?

Isn't celebrating your anniversaries more special than Valentine's Day? Or just spending quality time together? It's just the both of you and your loved ones with you. It's not 6 billion people and counting.

And if you're single? So what? Would you rather be with someone just because it's Valentine's Day? That would be rather shallow. It would be nice to have a special someone to love on Valentine's Day. I will say that. But what about treating yourself to something? There's nothing saying that you can't. Something that you enjoy and feel good about. It gets you doing something and perhaps even out of the house instead of staying in. Who knows, you could even meet someone or you could get noticed.

Originally posted by a_loveless_gem

And if you're single? So what? Would you rather be with someone just because it's Valentine's Day? That would be rather shallow. It would be nice to have a special someone to love on Valentine's Day. I will say that. But what about treating yourself to something? There's nothing saying that you can't. Something that you enjoy and feel good about. It gets you doing something and perhaps even out of the house instead of staying in. Who knows, you could even meet someone or you could get noticed.

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I agree only I guess to me Valentines day is not only for lovers, it's for great friends also. I send friends valentines day cards,to me, it's not weird or strange, it's how special I think they are to me and I want then to know this. I send valentines to family also.
To me, Valentines day is a time to stop and remember that someone, no matter who is thinking about you and who knows, might pop by or call you and say" hey, happy Valentines day!" so to everyone here, I will close by saying Happy valentines day to all of my special TCS friends, you all mean alot to me!
And Debby, you are so special, I can't believe that someone doesn't realize how wonderful you are and how you can make a person smile by the things you say, and the way you are. If he doesn't see that, then he is blind!

Debbie -

I just stopped in here to see what was new and found this thread. I am kicking myself cause I used to have your email and silly me I lost it so I can't send you an e-valentine.

So hopefully it's the thought that counts...

Here's a Happy Valentine to one of the sweetest people I have ever met!! Hugs from me to you!!

I'm sorry Debby that you are feeling blue this Love Day.

Let me tell you though, its just another day on the calandar sweetie. Hubby and I are very much in love and I'd like to think we have a 'perfect' marriage, but we don't get all extravagant on V-Day. We don't exchange gifts ( although I did buy him some fancy chocolates this year since he's a chocoholic ). He has NEVER bought me a card, not once in 10 years. Instead we make it about the kids. They exchange cards at school, and my son made his dad a little box for his change, and thats what made it special. My daughter drew her daddy a picture, and told him how much she loves him. This morning, he didn't even say Happy Valentines Day to me, but I know he loves me. And just cause he is not a Hallmark kind of guy, doesn't mean I think any less of him.

So many people get caught up in the mushy gushy smushy stuff of it all, but in the end just try to remember its just another day.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Debby, there are lots of us in a similar situation to you. Hang in there, friend.

i can understand how you feel.. after so many years of being attached, i'm single this year... no doubt there's somebody in mind but he's not asking me and I swore to myself that I would give town a miss this year to avoid heartache... I busied myself with all my volunteer work and concentrate on my friends in order to forget that it is valentine's day today....

I don't understand the hang-ups and the 'hate' about V-day. I've been with Josh for nearly two years and love each other very much. That being said, every V-day we go to Connecticut to spend the holiday with my bestfriend, Ferris, and two other of my really good friends... because these are the people that I love the most. So, find someone you love and spend some time with them... simple as that.

Right now, Josh, Ferris and I are off to the mall for some pre-Valentine's Day shopping. Have a great holiday.

Originally posted by Deb25
Either that, or a bunch of men trying to stay out of trouble. Most of the men I have ever talked to hate it, too, but they get some contrived gift so as not to be in the doghouse. I think the only people who truly think it's great are couples who are in that 'madly in love' stage. If you keep looking over the shoulders of what others have, what the advertisers make you think you are missing out on, or some fantasy idea of what you should be getting, you're bound to be nothing but disappointed.

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My thoughts exactly. However, I was pleased to get ecards from a friend and my nephews, so here's a greetin for all of you: Happy Valentine's Day, anyway!

Oh, I'm sorry you're feeling bummed-out, Debby!

Valentine's Day is a saint day . . . just like Saint Patrick's Day in March . . . people just leave off the "Saint" part most of the time. I will agree, it has become overly commercialized. To me, Valentine's Day isn't about a SO. I mean, it's great if you have one, but my girl friends and I have made it more of a girls' party day. We send each other flowers and candy and all that good stuff . . . and get together and watch sappy "chick flicks," that our boyfriends would never watch with us . . . Give some of your friends a call, maybe that'll make you feel better. And remember, we all love you here at TCS.

I am realizing, while reading all the threads about Valentines day, that it´s also about the people you love in your life, without having to bee a boyfriend/girlfriend (or husband/wife). When I was in the US for Valentines day once, I got the impression that this was just a day for "lovers", and all the advertisments flow also indicated that. Those who are trying to make this day something here in Iceland, call it "the day of lovers". Somebody was mentioning that she had sent Valentines cars to the kids in her class as a kid. I am very pleased to read all that, since I have thought of this day as a far to commercialized day, forcing lovers to be buy romantic things for their s/o, wheather they like it or not, wich isn´t really the right reason to be romantic, and is bound be a not so nice day for all thouse without romance in their life.

So, having this new view on this day, I wish you all a
Happy Valentines Day

I really like Valentines and I'm single and all that. But I like it, I mean it's fun. I like the e-Valentines, some are very funny. I mean yes if it was a significant other that would be cold but with friends it's fun. I don't know, I don't get into this "woe is me" thing. I mean everyone has it hard, marriage is hard too.